You know what I did? I stayed to wish him a happy birthday before I left.

 He once mentioned that he never celebrated his birthday, I planned to celebrate it for him but since we were breaking up, I could just say a happy birthday before I leave, but more importantly take a good last look at him because that morning I did not.

But that night, he did not come back.

The next day, I realized that I had no reason to stay anymore, so I packed all my belongings. The engagement ring hanging on my finger felt so heavy; I metaphorically felt it pleading to be removed_ it wasn"t mine, so I left it together with a letter on the dressing table.""

""All these while I"d been killing myself, hurting myself, I even lost a baby… one I never even knew I was carrying. I blamed myself for everything, but not anymore.""

Xin Yong shook her head and with a bright smile she continued.

""Not anymore; I just realized that I was too good, too good for him. I wasn"t the one who did not deserve him, no, he did not deserve me. And I cannot kill myself for someone like that, oh my, what was I thinking?! ""

She laughed and everyone joined her. Xin Yong felt a cool breeze wash over her, one she had not felt in a really long while.

""I plan on getting better and putting the past behind me. I"ve learned a lot from this experience. But most importantly, I"ve learned not to give your all to anyone, not to love so blindly like I did, and at least not to fall for a Lothario; I mean that"s not happening again. ""

Everyone laughed. Xin Yong did, this was the truest laughter she had laughed in a while, and at that moment she realized she had begun healing.

…

""You should stop killing yourself, Jin Yue.""

Liu Wei said to the devastated looking man before him. Jin Yue looked like a shadow of himself. He was thin, pale, sad and drunk. Liu Wei had lost count of how many times his secretary had called to tell him that he was pa.s.sed out in a bar.

""Where is she? Did she go to s.p.a.ce? Why can"t I find her? Why? ""

Jin Yue had searched the whole of Beijing and China. When he couldn"t find her he thought that she had left the country. He had, with the help of Liu Wei, checked with the international airports for her name to know if she left but they explained that no-one with such name left the country in the past three months.

Jin Yue did not know what to do anymore. He barely ate, he could no longer concentrate at work and his secretary handled most of the important matters.

Jin Yue had resulted to drinking which had helped him a bit in forgetting what was before him, although he would still wake up to it after pa.s.sing out, but for that brief moment, he had peace.

""You"ll find her but that is when you are alive. If you keep doing this, you are going to die before you even find her. ""

""That would be good, wouldn"t" it? This is over two months, she must have hated me to the core right now, she may not even listen to what I have to say, but if I"m dead in a coffin, she"ll surely listen, won"t she?""

Jin Yue said smiling dryly. He tried taking the half empty bottle that was on the table but Liu Wei took it away before he could grab it.

""If you die, won"t it be foolish? She"ll forever live with the guilt. The guilt of not being able to tell you that she had forgiven you, won"t it be worse off than now?""

""WHAT DO I DO THEN! What else do you want me to do? ""

Jin Yue screamed as tears came rolling down his eyes. He held his head with both hands and breathed in.

""You need to stop drinking and start reasoning well. At this rate, you can injure yourself. Let"s go home first. ""

Liu Wei stood up and walked over to his friend"s side, helping him up.

He called over the waiter and settled the bills before a.s.sisting Jin Yue out of the bar.

He helped him to his own car and drove out of the bar. When he reached Jin Yue"s house, he was already pa.s.sed out on the pa.s.senger"s seat.

It took Liu Wei a great amount of strength, pulling Jin Yue into the house and to the bedroom. He pushed him on to the bed and helped him take off his shoes.

Putting off the room light, he walked out of the house.

Inside his car, he took out his phone and called a number. It rang for a few seconds before the person on the other end picked.

""Any leads yet?""

""No sir, we haven"t found any person with that description, but…""

Liu Wei"s eyes brightened when he heard the "but", that was the first time there was a glitter of hope.

"" But what?""

""A local hospital in Sanji checked in a woman who fit that description a little, but the hospital had refused to say any more about her. The doctors whom we were able to bribe could not tell her name but they said they looked a lot alike, although the woman that was admitted cut her hair and is not as vibrant looking as the one in the picture…""

""Where is this place? Send every detail to my email immediately! ""

This was the first time there was a lead. Liu Wei started the engine and drove off immediately. He was glad because there was something he was going to tell Liling. She was mostly sad, although she tried not to show it.

She delayed the release of her alb.u.m till a week ago, when her manager insisted.

She had hit #20 in Billboard China Top 100 since the Alb.u.m release, it was something to be happy about and she was happy although not completely.