THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN

Do you bolt your food?

THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN

Have you lightning pains in the legs?

THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN

Are you a bleeder? Have you haemophilia?

THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN

Erthrocythaemia? Nephroptosis? Fibrinous bronchitis? Salpingitis?

Pylephlebitis? Answer yes or no.

THE BRIDEGROOM

No. No. No. No. No.

THE CLERGYMAN

Have you ever been refused life insurance? If so, when, by what company or companies, and why?

THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN

What is a staphylococcus?

THE BRIDEGROOM

No.

THE CLERGYMAN

(_Sternly_) What?

THE BRIDEGROOM

(_Nervously_) Yes.

THE CLERGYMAN

(_Coming to the rescue_) Wilt them have this woman et cetera? Answer yes or no.

THE BRIDEGROOM

I will.

THE CLERGYMAN

(_Turning to_ THE BRIDE) Mary, wilt thou have this gentleman to be thy wedded husband, to live together in the holy state of aseptic matrimony?

Wilt thou love him, serve him, protect him from all adulterated victuals, and keep him hygienically clothed; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live? If so----

THE BRIDE

(_Instantly and loudly_) I will.

THE CLERGYMAN