Chapter 308 Side Story: A Wonderful Christmas Night
Editor(s): Speedphoenix, Sebas Tian, Joker
“Merry Christmas!” All the dungeon’s residents said the cheery line in tandem while setting off a series of party poppers.
The only exceptions were the wraith girls, given their inability to speak, but it wasn’t like they weren’t having their fair share of fun. They’d joined in on spraying confetti and streamers all over the dungeon’s floor.
“That was fun! We’ve made a huge mess of everything!”
“Yeah, we’re all going to have to help clean it up later,” I said. “But that doesn’t change the fact that party poppers are fun, right?”
“Nope, not at all! That was awesome! It was like bang bang bang!”
“Bang bang bang!” echoed s.h.i.+.
“Bang bang bang…” Even Enne joined in and added to the chorus.
“I’ve got a great idea… Let’s all pretend to be part of a party popper! It’ll be super fun!” The vampire’s eyes sparkled as she looked around the room at all the other kids. “I’ll be the confetti!”
“I’ll be… the streemars!” said s.h.i.+.
“…I’ll be the sh.e.l.l,” said Enne.
I wasn’t really sure how she ended up arriving at such a conclusion, but it didn’t take long for them to get their little game on the road. Though they hadn’t vocalized their partic.i.p.ation, the triplets joined in as well. Like Illuna, they too pretended to be confetti. That’s kinda weird. But it’s also super cute, so whatever.
“You have quite the love of festivities,” said Lefi, as she joined me in watching the kids play.
“I mean, yeah, I do, but who doesn’t? Just look at how happy the girls are.”
As the kids couldn’t exactly leave the house, I made sure to put together as many events as I could to ensure that they would have their fair share of happy memories.
“It is a sentiment I cannot disregard upon taking the young ones into consideration. I have started to believe that it is best for me to choose to play along with even the wildest of your ideas.”
“Really? Well, perfect. Here, put this on.”
“Wha?”
She gave me the most stupefied look as I handed her a santa-themed costume featuring a miniskirt, a huge grin on my face all the while. Time for Lefi to do a little cosplaying.
“I was having a hard time deciding who I was supposed to hand this to, so you saying that really saves me a bunch of trouble.”
The statement was a bold faced lie. I had prepared an outfit for every single female resident, and I was fully intent on having them all put them on.
“Come on, no need to be shy. You put this exact one on last year, and you looked great, absolutely stunning, in fact.”
“I-I understand. There is no need for you to be so pushy!”
She gave in, likely because she knew that there was nothing she could say to stop me from pestering her given how excited I was. And so, she obediently changed. And on the spot, at that. She took off her usual one piece dress and put on the christmas-themed miniskirt I’d given her without even batting an eye.
“T-there! I have put it on!”
“Ooooohhh…?” I stared, then nodded a few times in succession. “Very good. It looks perfect on you. See? I knew you were the prettiest thing ever.”
“Hmph! That is but a given.” A bit of a blush appeared on her face as she puffed up her chest with pride.
Honestly, her being so gullible really only adds to how adorable she is.
“Alright, all you gotta do now is hold this, do a pose like this, and sa—”
“W-was merely changing into these clothes not the end of it!?” She cut me off with a startled shout.
“Huh? Why would it be? That’d be no fun. Look, you’ve only done step one. Now, you’ve gotta be a true Santa. I’ll tell you everything you need to know, so listen closely.”
“…V-very well. I suppose it cannot be helped. I have already committed,” she said. “What is it that I must do to see this buffoonery to its end?”
And so, after handing her a large sack, I explained everything that she needed to know to be a true Santa master.
Shortly after committing it to memory, she got up in front of everyone and followed through.
“h.e.l.lo, boys and girls! I’m the Supreme Santa dragon!” She tried her best to cheerfully speak the lines exactly as I’d told them, but had difficulty breaking out of her normal speech pattern and soon reverted. “And I have arrived to deliver presents upon those who have refrained from naughtiness!”
h.e.l.l, or rather the dungeon, froze over.
“U-uhm… Are you okay, Lefi? Is something bothering you? Do you need someone to talk to?” asked Nell.
“Wow Lefi, you must be real tired! How’s ’bout lyin’ down ‘n takin’ a break?”
“That’s an adorable outfit,” said Leila.
“…I have decided, Yuki. Today is the day you die.”
“What!? Why!?”
“There is nothing to be said in your defense! This absurd plan of yours was but a horrible, humiliating mistake!”
A tomato-faced Lefi started advancing on me with her hands balled into fists. Oh c.r.a.p.
“Hold on, Lefi, chill!” I raised both hands in front of me to try and keep her at bay. “Look, the adults might’ve thought it was silly, but the kids loved it! They thought it was totally awesome!”
“Mrmphh…”
She made a low, distrustful grunt as she s.h.i.+fted her eyes to the children in question.
“Wow! That’s super cute!” said Illuna.
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“It’s Santa! G.o.d save the Santa!” said s.h.i.+.
Uhhh… is it just me, or does that not seem quite right?
“Mhm… Super cute.”
Thank G.o.d for childish innocence.
“S-see? They totally love you. It was a great idea! You can’t just change back and disappoint them!”
“Grghh…” She groaned. “Very well. For their sake, I shall refrain from reverting to my usual attire. However, that does not mean that you are forgiven. You have angered me, Yuki, and I have every intention of hitting you.”
“What the h.e.l.l!?”
And so began a tragedy starring a demon lord desperate to escape his draconic a.s.sailant.
The protagonist was incapable of outwitting or outrunning the pursuer, and ultimately ended up getting shown the way of the iron fist.
As he collapsed with his back half buried in the wall, he muttered one final thing: Merry Christmas to all. And to all a good night.