A Traveler from Altruria: Romance

Chapter 24

The crowd laughed, and some one shouted: "Good for you, Reub!"

Camp continued: "But our friend here will shake the hand of any man, woman, or child that wants to speak to him; and you needn"t wipe it on the gra.s.s first, either. He"s a _man_! And I want to say that he"s going to spend the next week with us, at my mother"s house, and we shall be glad to have you call."

The crowd, the rustic and ruder part of it, cheered and cheered till the mountain echoes answered; then a railroader called for three times three, with a tiger, and got it. The guests of the hotel broke away and went toward the house over the long shadows of the meadow. The lower cla.s.ses pressed forward, on Camp"s invitation.

"Well, did you ever hear a more disgusting rigmarole?" asked Mrs. Makely, as our little group halted indecisively about her.

"With all those imaginary commonwealths to draw upon, from Plato, through More, Bacon, and Campanella, down to Bellamy and Morris, he has constructed the shakiest effigy ever made of old clothes stuffed with straw," said the professor.

The manufacturer was silent. The banker said: "I don"t know. He grappled pretty boldly with your insinuations. That frank declaration that Altruria was all these pretty soap-bubble worlds solidified was rather fine."

"It was splendid!" cried Mrs. Makely. The lawyer and the minister came toward us from where they had been sitting together. She called out to them: "Why in the world didn"t one of your gentlemen get up and propose a vote of thanks?"

"The difficulty with me is," continued the banker, "that he has rendered Altruria incredible. I have no doubt that he is an Altrurian, but I doubt very much if he comes from anywhere in particular, and I find this quite a blow, for we had got Altruria nicely located on the map, and were beginning to get accounts of it in the newspapers."

"Yes, that is just exactly the way I feel about it," sighed Mrs. Makely.

"But still, don"t you think there ought to have been a vote of thanks, Mr.

Bullion?"

"Why, certainly. The fellow was immensely amusing, and you must have got a lot of money by him. It was an oversight not to make him a formal acknowledgment of some kind. If we offered him money, he would have to leave it all behind him here when he went home to Altruria."

"Just as _we_ do when we go to heaven," I suggested; the banker did not answer, and I instantly felt that in the presence of the minister my remark was out of taste.

"Well, then, don"t you think," said Mrs. Makely, who had a leathery insensibility to everything but the purpose possessing her, "that we ought at least to go and say something to him personally?"

"Yes, I think we ought," said the banker, and we all walked up to where the Altrurian stood, still thickly surrounded by the lower cla.s.ses, who were shaking hands with him and getting in a word with him now and then.

One of the construction gang said, carelessly: "No all-rail route to Altruria, I suppose?"

"No," answered h.o.m.os, "it"s a far sea voyage."

"Well, I shouldn"t mind working my pa.s.sage, if you think they"d let me stay after I got there."

"Ah, you mustn"t go to Altruria. You must let Altruria come to _you_"

returned h.o.m.os, with that confounded smile of his that always won my heart.

"Yes," shouted Reuben Camp, whose thin face was red with excitement, "that"s the word. Have Altruria right here, and right now."

The old farmer, who had several times spoken, cackled out: "I didn"t know, one while, when you was talk"n" about not havin" no money, but what some on us had had Altrury here for quite a spell, already. I don"t pa.s.s more"n fifty dolla"s through my hands most years."

A laugh went up, and then, at sight of Mrs. Makely heading our little party, the people round h.o.m.os civilly made way for us. She rushed upon him, and seized his hand in both of hers; she dropped her fan, parasol, gloves, handkerchief, and vinaigrette in the gra.s.s to do so. "Oh, Mr.

h.o.m.os," she fluted, and the tears came into her eyes, "it was beautiful, _beautiful_, every word of it! I sat in a perfect trance from beginning to end, and I felt that it was all as true as it was beautiful. People all around me were breathless with interest, and I don"t know how I can ever thank you enough."

"Yes, indeed," the professor hastened to say, before the Altrurian could answer, and he beamed malignantly upon him through his spectacles while he spoke, "it was like some strange romance."

"I don"t know that I should go so far as that," said the banker, in his turn, "but it certainly seemed too good to be true."

"Yes," the Altrurian responded, simply, but a little sadly; "now that I am away from it all, and in conditions so different, I sometimes had to ask myself, as I went on, if my whole life had not hitherto been a dream, and Altruria were not some blessed vision of the night."

"Then you know how to account for a feeling which I must acknowledge, too?" the lawyer asked, courteously. "But it was most interesting."

"The kingdom of G.o.d upon earth," said the minister--"It ought not to be incredible; but that, more than anything else you told us of, gave me pause."

"You of all men?" returned the Altrurian, gently.

"Yes," said the minister, with a certain dejection, "when I remember what I have seen of men, when I reflect what human nature is, how can I believe that the kingdom of G.o.d will ever come upon the earth?"

"But in heaven, where He reigns, who is it does His will? The spirits of men?" pursued the Altrurian.

"Yes, but conditioned as men are here--"

"But if they were conditioned as men are there?"

"Now, I can"t let you two good people get into a theological dispute,"

Mrs. Makely pushed in. "Here is Mr. Twelvemough dying to shake hands with Mr. h.o.m.os and compliment his distinguished guest."

"Ah, Mr. h.o.m.os knows what I must have thought of his talk without my telling him," I began, skilfully. "But I am sorry that I am to lose my distinguished guest so soon."

Reuben Camp broke out: "That was my blunder, Mr. Twelvemough. Mr. h.o.m.os and I had talked it over conditionally, and I was not to speak of it till he had told you; but it slipped out in the excitement of the moment."

"Oh, it"s all right," I said, and I shook hands cordially with both of them. "It will be the greatest possible advantage for Mr. h.o.m.os to see certain phases of American life at close range, and he couldn"t possibly see them under better auspices than yours, Camp."

"Yes, I"m going to drive him through the hill country after haying, and then I"m going to take him down and show him one of our big factory towns."

I believe this was done, but finally the Altrurian went on to New York, where he was to pa.s.s the winter. We parted friends; I even offered him some introductions; but his acquaintance had become more and more difficult, and I was not sorry to part with him. That taste of his for low company was incurable, and I was glad that I was not to be responsible any longer for whatever strange thing he might do next. I think he remained very popular with the cla.s.ses he most affected; a throng of natives, construction hands, and table-girls saw him off on his train; and he left large numbers of such admirers in our house and neighborhood, devout in the faith that there was such a commonwealth as Altruria, and that he was really an Altrurian. As for the more cultivated people who had met him, they continued of two minds upon both points.

THE END