Note: Please don’t read it in the little pop-up for the reader. For some reason it doesn’t reflect my later edits (which I often make a lot of after publishing), so please click ‘view original’.

waka-sama = young master Normally it’d be my policy to translate it as ‘young master’, but that doesn’t rhyme with baka-sama. And I can’t think of any word for idiot that would rhyme with ‘young master’ exactly either, so yeah.

Today’s the entrance ceremony. It seems that our Baka-sama-… Ah, I mean, our Waka-sama, has wandered off somewhere again. Isn’t it no good for a prince to ditch the entrance ceremony? Seriously, I wish he’d cut me a break. He’s probably wandering around the school, chasing a.s.s anyway. Only that guy’s womanising is the same as in the game.

While I was searching for Baka-sama, I was looking around and observing the other factions. Of course, my motivations are just a pure desire to pay respects to the other characters from the otome game. In the game, all of the characters first gathered here at this school.

The otome game that I love, 『Carte à Jouer』… For some reason or another, this world is the world of that otomege. I’ve played it a number of times, so there shouldn’t be any mistake. I was on the way back from university, when no sooner had I fallen into an open manhole, than I found myself in this world. I’d switched places with someone else.

Beatrix Tapas… That’s my current name. And “Beatrix” was the name of a count’s daughter who appeared in the game as an enemy character.

In the game’s story, she bullied, and bullied, and bullied the heroine without end; a villain to the roots. She was a slender beauty with long, straight, black hair, harsh looking orange coloured eyes, and bright red lips that seemed like they could eat a man alive. Truly, a n.o.ble’s daughter who played the role of a rival. Since I ended up switching places with such a woman, I fell into despair. I mean, this villain ojousama met with a miserable end, after all…

Beatrix who had fallen in love with the prince of her country had gotten in the way of his romance with the heroine, and incurred the wrath of that prince. And she received dreadful retribution from him. The worst retribution ever; she was ordered to marry this fat, greasy, five time divorced old geezer who already had kids. That’s why the moment I became Beatrix, I began making my move.

As if I’d let things happen like the game!

For the sake of distancing myself from the Beatrix in the game, I decided to try dressing as a man, and found that it fit me perfectly. This was when I was five. Since then, I’ve always lived as a crossdresser. In case the worse came to worst, I polished my swordsmanship as well, so that I could live on my own no matter what happened. And now, I’m more popular amongst women than even the prince.

I’m beginning with observation of the Hearts faction. How disciplined. Don’t they have all thirteen members of them there? It’s a huge difference from our faction. However…

Wh-… Could that be…? Nah, the impression they give is too different, so perhaps I’ve got the wrong person? She’s a pretty student with pink hair and a pet.i.te build. There’s only one character with that appearance.

“Goshhhhh. Royce-sama you knowww~? Loves Camille, you seeee~ So there’s no room for a dirty looking Ugly like you, is thereee~?”

was the signature phrase of the Heart Route’s burikko rival. Isn’t that Camille Rhodolite, the Q of Hearts who grandly landed a smashing lead at rank 1 of the “Annoying Characters” list?

But why is Camille covered all over in tattoos? Did something happen to her!? Her clothing is considerably different from her in-game design too. Even though Camille is supposed to be a bishoujo who suited her goth loli fashion outfits, why the heck is that girl wearing a mantle that could be a magician’s uniform…? It’s way too plain!

And the Spades faction. For a while now, the K of Spades Raiger Transbaal, and Mei Zakro have been meeting their eyes meaningfully from time to time. It’s almost as though they’re lovers… Even though Mei was supposed to be a rival character as well. Or more like, I was a Raiger fan too… For him to be unavailable as a love interest from the start… I want to cry…

As for the Clovers faction, there’s n.o.body except for the K of Clovers, but…? Where’d the Q and J go?

I know that the Diamonds faction has diverged from its time in the game. I made it that way to avoid my Bad End after all. I accidentally went a bit far, and even ended up changing the feel of the love interest character, the K of diamonds. But still, this is… A lot of things are way too crazy. There’s no doubt that there are causes other than me.

“Beatrix-sama, today you look gallant as well~”

“How dreamy. Compared to Beatrix-sama, average men are less than weeds.”

The girls from the Diamonds faction called out to me. We’re girls born from the same nation. The Diamonds faction’s strength comprises the students and rich children of nations other than the Garnet Nation’s. It sounds good, but this school takes the n.o.bles of the Garnet Nation too lightly, huh? For the Garnet Nation’s n.o.bles of the King Faction and Royal Prince Faction alone to account for twenty six people… So unfair. Even though the Diamonds faction all together only has thirteen people!

“Huhu, thank you. Such lovely ojousans… I’m a lucky person, aren’t I?”

“Aahh! Beatrix-sama!”

Overcome with emotions, the girls’ eyes moistened with tears. I’ve become completely established as a crossdressing character, haven’t I? Well, it’s amusing though so it’s fine.

When I happened to shift my gaze… I happened upon a pink head by a far off table. Isn’t that Camille from earlier?

She’s gulping down large amounts of alcohol. Even if they’re c.o.c.ktails-, no, precisely because they’re c.o.c.ktails, I have a bad feeling about this. Isn’t the person standing next to her the J of Hearts, Achille Jade? For that Achille to be taking care of Camille like that, at a time like this… Maybe I should try visiting an eye doctor just once. Achille is supposed to hate Camille, who follows his lord around like a housefly. I mean, in the ending where the heroine gets together with the K of Hearts, it’s by Achille’s hands that Camille was socially obliterated, and was forced into a life of misery. But despite that, why do they look like they’re getting along so well…? What a mystery.

At that moment, I discovered a person who looked like our Baka-sama behind the hedge. You ditched the entrance ceremony to hide in a place like that? I thought he was picking up girls, but he’s chatting friendlily with the prince of our neighbouring nation, the K of Hearts. Ah-, he looked this way.

“Bea-chin! So here you were~”

After waving to the prince of the neighbouring nation, Baka-sama walked in my direction.

“I should be asking you, Waka-sama, where did you go during the entrance ceremony? I was sure that you were flirting with girls in the academy’s neighbourhood, but…”

“I wasn’t, you know~? I was in the infirmary.”

“Were you always so delicate?”

“It’s fineee, it’s fineee, Bea-chin, you sure are serious, huh~ You sure worry about the details, huh~ You sure act like a sister-in-law, huh~”

Seriously, why did this prince grow up into such a useless guy…? Even though he was a high-spec’d, popular prince in the game. Is it because I’ve been spoiling him? By now he has no intentions of opposing the first prince at all.

I was trying too hard in trying to avoid danger to myself, that I greatly exceeded the abilities of the in-game Beatrix. Enough that I serve the second prince as a single knight. On the contrary, because I’ve been trying too hard at avoiding becoming enemies with this prince, each year the prince falls further into the mindset that even if he doesn’t do something himself, I’ll do all the work for him. Since then, for every single thing, Baka-sama has been relying on me, and fawning on me.

I… ended up becoming a ma.s.sively bad influence for this prince.