A turning point?

The clanking sound of swords clashing resonated.

The scenery of the usual training.

I was watching that from above.

Since the day that elder brother notified me about father"s subjugation of the bandits, I have not gone to training.

I have remain secluded inside my room.

I haven"t met with either father or elder brother.

Just how many days have I been like this, I wonder?

As the hole in my heart remained gapingly wide open, I simply felt myself overcome with a sense of loss.

The darkness that I saw that night even now continued to envelop my heart.

Like this, I just want to stay here without doing anything……it was to the point where I thought that.

I flopped my body onto the bed and laid down.

……was a day this long before?

Morning came, and then night comes. And then, morning comes once again.

No matter what happens, time will continue to carve its tracks on the world as if nothing had occurred.

Even if I continue to lock myself up in my room like this, or don"t……nothing will change.

That being the case, then like I thought……

Continuing to think deeply about things like that, I closed my eyelids so that the outside scenery was no longer reflected within my eyes.

Staying like that, I fell asleep without realizing it, and a large part of the day pa.s.sed.

I sluggishly raised my heavy body.

And then, I approached the window.

……it seems that the training had finished.

At this rate, I wonder what I will do if I continue to stay here alone? ……what is it that I want to do?

The moment I thought that, I impulsively headed outside.

Leaving the mansion, I ran towards the tower.

When I reached my goal, I ran up the stairs.

"……Rui……"

Standing alone, I called his name.

However, his figure was nowhere to be found.

Naturally, my shoulders dropped.

Just what I wanted to do by meeting him……even I didn"t know.

I sat down at that place. Here, at this place, was my designated spot.

Ever since the time I lost to Donaldy and came here to cry, I would occasionally come here to gaze at the scenery.

When my hand touched the stone floor, a crackling sounded. A piece of paper was caught in between a stone and the stone floor.

I pulled it out. If it was here, then……was it something from a military official? But n.o.body would come here, climbing such a long staircase, right?

……could it be.

Thinking that, I opened it up.

[Don"t live in a hurry. If you need some sort of objective, then it is fine to find another one once more. You have that much time and talent. I will give my apology directly the next time we meet.]

There were just three sentences.

If I hadn"t found it with this timing, I probably wouldn"t have understood what he was saying.

However, right now I understood it so well that it hurt.

My tears overflowed and dripped onto the letter, wetting it.

……to me, revenge was everything.

I had thrown away everything other than that, and was only looking at that alone.

Despite that, I had lost my target of revenge so suddenly.

Certainly, my revenge had been fulfilled, but……it happened in such an unexpected way.

Even though I had only been looking at it while advancing forward, my destination was suddenly stolen away from the side and vanished.

The moment I became aware of that, it even felt as if my footing had crumbled.

Just where should I go from here on out?

Just what do I want to do from here on out?

Because I hadn"t been looking at anything other than that, I don"t know anything at all.

Losing my guidepost, it felt as if I had been thrown out into the darkness. Vaguely, I felt a fear of the future. And with it, impatience and emptiness.

"……it is fine to find another one, huh."

Leaking out a few words, I laugh.

[However……you are alive. You"re alive……!]

Within me, I recalled elder brother"s words.

That"s right, I"m alive. I still have a future. Unlike mother.

Just how much regret did mother feel? ……for me, it was unfathomable.

I resented the people who stole mother away, and hated the world that allowed it to happen. Then, I pitied myself and my family, who had lost mother.

However, the one who felt the most regret, the one who was saddest, was most certainly mother. Because mother had everything taken away from here. What she wanted to do, the times she dreamed of, and the time she could have spent with her family.

After all this time, I finally arrived at such a thought.

Because I had not thought about that before, my own time had been stopped.

That was why. I mustn"t waste it. I mustn"t abandon it.

The future.

For one who possesses a future to abandon it, in spite of knowing of those who do not, is arrogant and the biggest insult.

I shouldn"t be afraid of the fact that I cannot envision the future, but should be thankful for the fact that I have one.

If I cannot see a goal, then it is fine to find one again.

Even if there is no goal, what I have cultivated up until now will not disappear.

The instant I thought that, I felt my mood become lighter.

Even though I haven"t decided anything.

However, it is fine to slowly decide.

It is fine to continue forward like that.

"……mother. It seems like I"ll truly be able to see mother off."

Facing the sky, I murmured thus.