"What she"s trying to say is: Do you think this might be the Elwing Blood Clan"s way of letting us know they made it through the portals?" Delilah rattled out her thoughts like staccato bullet play. She shivered and I realized that she was waiting for me to explode.

Both my sisters knew that I hated discussing the Elwing Blood Clan. My blow up shortly after Yule when they told me that the Clan might be headed this way proved that I wasn"t ready to talk about them yet.

Trouble was, Delilah might just be right, and if she was, I was in for a world of hurt. I crossed to the fireplace, gazing into the flames that crackled and popped. The winter was cold all right, and suddenly it seemed bleak and dark. Spring was a long ways off, and for me, the returning light would never again cross my face. After a moment, I turned.

Chase looked mildly confused, as usual, but Camille, Delilah, and Iris eyed me cautiously. Once, I"d lived like them. Once, I"d taken deep breaths, felt my pulse race, enjoyed the cold and heat and the sun on my face. The Elwing Blood Clan had taken all of that away. Dredge Dredge had taken it away. had taken it away.

Stronger, older than any of them, he was their leader, dark wine on a hot summer"s night. Dredge had shredded my skin. He"d taught me how closely pleasure is tied to intense and exquisite pain. He"d used every weapon he could think of that wouldn"t kill me outright, including his own body. He"d ripped open my soul and n.o.body bothered to put Menolly back together again. And then at the end... he forced my lips to his wrist where he"d opened a vein. His blood trickled down my throat. I had no choice. It was swallow or choke. And so I swallowed. And then, the end came that was only the beginning to torment...

Shaking my head, I quickly barricaded my thoughts. Some roads were too dangerous to walk down. The OIA brought me back to sanity, but they couldn"t take away the scars that were left on my body and heart. Sometimes wounds never heal. Sometimes memories never fade.

"Then I suppose we"d better find out if they"re behind this," I said. "Wade should be here any minute. If anybody knows about anything new going down in the vamp community, he will. He keeps close ties with most of the nests and clubs."

Wade made it his business to know what was happening in the underground. There were three layers within the Supe community-those who were out of the closet and lived open lives; those who hadn"t mainstreamed, but who could still pa.s.s for humans; and then there were the Supes who hid themselves away and steered clear of the human side of life. At least the average FBH"s life.

"If it is them..." Camille said, her words drifting off.

"If it is Dredge, then Wisteria"s going to be with him and my guess is they"ll be trying to find their way into the Subterranean Realms to meet up with Shadow Wing." I paused, wiping my hand across my eyes. I usually didn"t tire but right now I felt a thousand years old. "I want you to promise me one thing."

"What"s that?" Chase asked, staring at me.

As I dropped my hand, I realized it was wet-slick with b.l.o.o.d.y tears. I"d been crying and didn"t even know it. I didn"t bother wiping the blood off my face but looked him straight in the eye. "If the Elwing Blood Clan"s involved, Dredge is mine. And n.o.body says a word about what I do to him, no matter what I do. Understand? He"s mine mine."

Delilah let out a small mew. Camille blinked but didn"t say a word. She gave me a look that told me she understood. Chase nodded once. I turned back to the fire as Iris came up, carrying a towel over her shoulder.

"Menolly? Maggie"s awake and looking for you. Would you like to come hold her for me while I make up her cream and sage? I think she"s hungry." Her flaxen hair shimmered under the incandescent lighting, her gaze showing no pity, only clear, pure support. Grateful, I forced my lungs to take a long, deep breath. I didn"t need to breathe, but it helped me focus when I was stressed out.

"Thanks," I said. "I"m right behind you."

We headed into the kitchen, where Maggie was sitting in her playpen, blinking. I glanced at Iris. "You woke her up, didn"t you?"

Iris shrugged. "Hard to say. I went in my room to get a notebook and must have made too much noise. She started whimpering so I brought her out." She turned away, avoiding my stare, but I knew her too well. Maggie hadn"t woken up on her own.

"Thank you," I said, shaking off my gloom. "How"s the girl?"

"Anna-Linda is sleeping. I slipped her a potion. She needs the rest and I don"t want her waking up during the night." Iris pointed to her room. "I put her in my bed. I can sleep in the rocking chair or on the sofa if need be." She set a pan on the burner and added cream, sage, sugar, and cinnamon. Maggie"s special drink would help her grow up big and strong. And smart, we hoped.

"You want tea?" I asked, reaching for the orange blossom tea in the cupboard, Iris"s favorite. Just then, Maggie spotted me and held up her arms. She was tiny still, the size of a small dog, and her fur was a swirl of orange and black and white. She was a woodland gargoyle, and Camille had rescued her from a demon"s lunch bag. Over the past few months, I"d grown close to the little twerp, even though I"d never had much leaning toward animals or babies before.

I picked her up, careful not to bend her wings, which were still pliable. In time they"d grow leathery and wide, able to hold her aloft. Until then we had to make sure that they weren"t damaged. She hadn"t spoken yet-just let out her little moophs moophs, and we weren"t sure if she"d ever develop to normal intelligence. She"d been bred by demons, and most likely she hadn"t received her mother"s milk long enough to jumpstart the quickening process. Whatever the case, we"d love her and take care of her and protect her. She had a long, long time to live, and we"d be there.

She threw her arms around my neck and clung tightly as I moved to the rocking chair and sat down, rocking her gently back to sleep. I nuzzled her neck, breathing in the musky scent. Her little heart slowly pounded out the rhythm of her life, but I felt no urge, no temptation, no draw.

"Hush, little baby, don"t you cry; Mama"s gonna bake you a sugar-plum pie," I whispered, singing the song our mother had sung to us when we were little. "And if that sugar-plum pie"s too sour, Mama"s going to buy you a golden tower..." Smiling, Maggie closed her eyes and drifted off. I rocked her gently, trying not to think about the Elwing Blood Clan. After a few moments, there was a knock on the door.

"That should be Wade," I told Iris, reluctantly handing her Maggie. "But let me get it just in case."

I peered out the peephole and sure enough, Wade was standing there. He gave me a little wave and I opened the door. Other than me, he was the only vampire allowed past our threshold. It just wasn"t a good idea to give bloodsuckers free access to a house. True to form, we couldn"t enter any private residence where we hadn"t been invited. I opened the door and invited him in.

Wade was an odd fellow. With spiky blond hair and pale eyes, he could easily be mistaken for a geek, if you didn"t look too close. He was wearing a pair of blue jeans, a thick flannel shirt, and his ever-present gla.s.ses. The lenses were fake, but he"d worn them all his life and couldn"t get used to going without them now that he was dead.

"What"s shaking, beautiful?" He winked.

That"s one thing I liked about him-he"d accepted his place as a vampire and was using it to help others new to the life. And yet he hadn"t lost his humanity. He enjoyed a good joke, a good book, a good cigar.

"Bad juju, Wade. Bad news." I reached out and gently pressed my fingertips against his-our usual greeting-then led him into the living room.

Wade bowed to my sisters and tossed a wave at Chase. The two had met once or twice, but had never really had a chance to sit down and talk. Chase started to hold out his hand but I gave him a warning shake of the head. Delilah touched his arm lightly and he pulled back.

"Oops, that"s right. Sorry," Chase said.

Wade shrugged. "I"m not hungry, but even if I was, I make it a point to not eat the other guests." He looked around and I motioned to one of the side chairs. When he"d settled himself, we filled him in on what had happened.

"We need to know if there"s anything stirring in the underground." I flipped the desk chair around and straddled it. "Seriously, Wade. There could be some deep s.h.i.t going on here, and we have to know what we"re up against."

He didn"t know everything about Shadow Wing, but he knew enough to keep him on our side. Wade thought we might be able to raise a small army of Earthside Supes should the demons break through in any great number. They"d be our best fighters, far more effective than guns and soldiers.

Wade leaned back, lacing his fingers behind his head. "Well, c.r.a.p. And we"ve made such good progress with the V.A. group so far. Listen, what makes you think it"s your sire rather than some rogue Earthside vamp, somebody who went over the edge or someone new to the area? I don"t want to limit my search."

Chase looked at me. I shrugged at him.

"We don"t don"t know for sure," he said, staring at Wade. I had the distinct impression that facing an Earthside vamp unnerved Chase more than facing me did. I was from a different land, different world in fact. He could tie me up neatly in a box. " know for sure," he said, staring at Wade. I had the distinct impression that facing an Earthside vamp unnerved Chase more than facing me did. I was from a different land, different world in fact. He could tie me up neatly in a box. "Menolly"s from Otherworld; of course she"s a freak." But Wade... Wade had sprung up right in the middle of Seattle. A homeboy of the distinctly dangerous type.

The pause became noticeable and I reached out to tap Chase on the knee. He jerked his head up and I snorted. "Calm down, I was just going to suggest you finish your thought. You seemed a little lost in the ozone."

"Oh, right. Thanks... I think." Blinking, Chase continued. "The girls think the Elwing Blood Clan might be involved. But you"re right. We should run on the a.s.sumption that it could be any vampire. Let"s not close any doors."

"So what"s our first step?" Wade looked at me, a faint grin on his face. He was used to jumpy mortals. He saw them often enough at friends and family night down at our V.A. meetings.

I glanced around. Camille and Delilah had curled up together and were eating Cheetos. Chase was fiddling with his notebook. Iris was filing her nails. I waited for a moment, but it was obvious that we"d reached a painful lull in conversation.

"Don"t everybody talk at once," I said, shaking my head. "I"m not the only one with a brain around here, am I?"

Camille shrugged, wiping the corners of her mouth, somehow managing to keep her lipstick perfect. "Well-"

"How"d you do that?" I interrupted.

"Do what?"

"Your lipstick. It didn"t smear."

She grinned. "It"s long-lasting lip lacquer. Won"t budge unless I take a Brillo pad to it. Makes it easier to eat out in public. Now, may I continue?"

"Sure," I said, wondering how the chemicals in the lip gloss would react with my skin now that I was a vampire. Sometimes things didn"t wash off that were supposed to be temporary. I"d seen a horrible example of rouge-gone-bad on a vamp who had been pa.s.sing through town last month. Think great b.a.l.l.s of fire on the cheeks and you get the picture. What made it worse was that it was a pudgy geek boy who"s so-called friends-all of whom were still alive-had played a joke on him when he was sleeping. And breathers wondered why we didn"t always let them know where we made our lairs.

"Anyway, we thought you"d have some ideas. After all, you know vampire habits better than we do." Camille glanced at Delilah, who gave her a nod. "In other words, tag, you"re it."

With a burp, during which she barely covered her mouth, Delilah vigorously nodded. "That"s right! You"re the leader."

"And how did you decide to bestow this dubious honor on me?" I had the feeling I wasn"t going to get out of this.

"Hey, you guys made me deal with things when Zach"s tribe was getting slaughtered," Delilah said. "And Camille had to take the reins with Bad a.s.s Luke. It"s your turn now, Menolly."

I glanced at Chase. "Have anything to add to this, Johnson?"

He tugged on his collar, frowning as Delilah dropped a couple of the crunchy orange puffs on his impeccably black suit. But he didn"t say a word, merely quietly moved them off and tossed them onto the coffee table. I caught his eye and smiled. If he was p.i.s.sed that she"d dusted his Armani with cheese powder, he didn"t say anything about it.

"No," he said after a moment. "No, because they"re right. I haven"t the faintest idea of what to look for. Given that you"re... well..."

"Just say it." I scowled, wishing people wouldn"t tiptoe around me so much. "I"m dead. Undead. A vampire. I"m scary as h.e.l.l, I drink blood, and if you pay me enough I might consider running around yelling bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh! while pulling a Bela Lugosi with my long black cape!"

They all stared at me like I"d grown another head. Wade snorted so loudly that if he"d been alive, he would have blown snot all over his face.

I shook my head. "I know what I am. You aren"t going to offend me by stating the obvious, so can everybody just relax and get on with life? I"m not going to rip out your throats for being blunt."

After a moment, Camille let out a delicate cough. "A bit high strung tonight, are we?" In a falsetto, she added, "Can"t blame the hormones anymore, that"s for sure."

I stared at her for a moment, repressing a smile. Chase darted a glance at her like she was crazy. Delilah was having an all-out affair with the junk food and ignoring everything else. Iris stared at the ceiling, pretending to examine the corners for cobwebs. And Wade... well... Wade just sat there, waiting for us to get it out of our systems.

"You know," I said softly, "you could keep that gorgeous figure forever if you"d let me take a bite out of your neck."

Camille"s hand fluttered to her throat, but then she laughed. "Ask me again in two hundred years, okay?"

"Deal." I dropped the Big Bad act and laughed with her. "Can we finish this conversation? I"d like to have a little free time before I have to go to bed and there aren"t many hours left until sunrise."

Chase rolled his eyes. "Then it"s settled. You"re the designated brains for this situation because you know what it"s like to be a vampire. Both you and Wade have been down this road. So what do we do? Where do we look?"

I walked over to the window, staring out into the icy night. The winter was taking its toll on all of us, I thought. We were all jumpy and tired and worried about what was coming next, and yet... we had no choice. We did what we had to do and that was pretty much all she wrote.

"If I were a newborn vamp, where would I go? It depends on whether my sire called me to come to him-or her. Wade," I said without turning. "What"s the procedure over here? Do most newborn vamps train with their sires like they do in Otherworld?"

He frowned. "I don"t know, actually. We"re so used to hiding that I don"t think there"s any real protocol for newborns. When I was turned, I found myself alone in my office. Apparently, even though I"d been missing for a couple of days, n.o.body thought to check there because it was a holiday and they thought I"d taken off for the beach. When I woke up, it took me a while to figure out what had happened. Well, after the hunger hit it was pretty self-evident."

"Hmm... living Earthside sure makes it hard on Supes, doesn"t it? No guidelines, n.o.body to keep a watch over you. Even in the darker Blood Clans back in OW, they keep a watch on those they choose to turn, unless-as in my case-it was a spiteful act, meant to hurt others."

I pushed aside the memories that threatened to swarm up again. We didn"t have time for me to give in to my anger. "If they"re prowling the streets, they could be anywhere. But they"ll be clumsy at first; they"ll leave a trail because they won"t really know what"s happening to them. It takes a while to figure out what"s going on."

Chase gazed at me, his eyes unreadable. "I won"t even pretend to understand what happens during the transformation, but it can"t be pleasant, even if you"re a willing partic.i.p.ant."

"It isn"t," I said abruptly.

Wade gave a short nod and I could tell he was thinking about his own death and rebirth. "I suppose our first step is to figure out who sired them. I"ll put out feelers in the community. Meanwhile, Menolly, keep your eyes open at the Wayfarer. The scariest part, really, is that whoever sired them, sired four at once. That"s almost unheard of. I"ve never known any vamp to raise more than one newborn at a time, have you?"

"I don"t know..." I thought back to Otherworld, to the Elwing Blood Clan and what they were capable of. "Dredge was picky about his kills. I knew that even before he caught me, from spying on them. Surely he wouldn"t grab victims off the street? Especially humans? Most vampires looking to build a new nest are just as choosy. After all, you"re going to be tied to these people for a long, long time."

Wade frowned. "Maybe something"s changed? Or maybe it isn"t connected to Dredge at all. Either way, we have to work fast because newborn vamps need to feed, and feed they will. If we don"t get to them first, they"ll go on a killing spree."

I motioned to Chase. "Get out your notebook."

He obeyed. "Okay, give it to me."

"First, you should monitor the hospitals and morgues for an increase in violent attacks. Four newborns can drink a lot of blood, and quite frankly, with as little as we"ve got to go on right now, we"re probably in for a one-sided battle until we can get our s.h.i.t together."

Delilah broke in. "You know, maybe it"s time we acted on that idea about having a Supe community roll call. I know it"s dangerous to keep information of that kind on record, but the way things are going we need all the help we can get. We can"t make it mandatory, but let"s at least start building the database. With Shadow Wing on the move and Degath Squad creeping in on scouting missions, we can"t go it alone anymore."

Camille let out a long sigh. "She"s right. We have to organize. The reins of the OIA are unofficially in our lap and we"ve got n.o.body left for us to turn to. Delilah, you get to work on the format for the database. Maybe we should have a summit meeting of the Supe community leaders at the Wayfarer? Ask the leaders of the various nests, clans, and packs to join us? Would that be okay, Menolly?"

"Oh yeah, that sounds like a b.u.t.t load of fun." I made a face. "Just keeping peace between the Were groups will take an army, let alone when you add in vamps and Earthside Fae and visitors from Otherworld and everybody else who fits in the not-quite-human category into the mix. I think we should find another place to host it, though. The Wayfarer isn"t set up for that kind of crowd, for one thing. And the gathering"s guaranteed to be a little tense-we really don"t want liquor involved. Our audience members just might take to breaking gla.s.ses and bottles over each other"s heads."

"At least it"s a place to start," Camille said.

"And now, I need to decompress. I"ll be in my lair if anybody needs me. Wade, you"d better get back home before dawn breaks." As I escorted him out the door before stalking toward the kitchen, I suddenly felt alone. Everybody else could stay up talking, they could lose sleep and not worry about it. They didn"t have to be concerned with the sun rising in the morning. For me, it was just another one of life"s inequities I had to deal with. I lived during the dark hours, in the shadows of life. Sometimes I felt like throwing a tantrum but in the end, I never did. Wasting energy just wasn"t my style.

I slipped through the secret entrance to my bas.e.m.e.nt apartment and headed down the stairs, wondering for the umpteenth time just what my life would have been like had I not fallen off the ceiling and the Elwing Blood Clan caught hold of me.

Trying to shake off my gloom, I turned my attention to the stack of books sitting on the nightstand next to my bed, which was clad in a green toile spread and sheets. As I picked up the first, a story about a group of men scaling Mount Everest, I settled back on the bed and lost myself to a world of ice and snow, where the days were brilliantly white and blinding, where the snow sparkled-pristine and pure-and where the sun was friend rather than foe.

CHAPTER 4.

Do vampires dream when they sleep?

Camille asked me that question once, when she came to wake me up. How could I explain? She walked in three worlds: in Otherworld, Earthside, and within the Moon Mother"s realm. But hers was a far different path than my own.

Yes, I wanted to tell her. We dreamed of blood and s.e.x and pa.s.sion. But that wasn"t entirely the truth, even though my drifting thoughts were often filled with frightening images that warned me when I slipped a little too far into the predator, away from my essential self.

Or perhaps I should have told her that vampires walked the halls of the dead when we slept. Walked through meadow and forest, wandered city streets and glided over the sea. We walked on the winds, we walked on the water. We We were the true Windwalkers. But again, that would only be part of the answer. were the true Windwalkers. But again, that would only be part of the answer.

The fact was that mostly, when the pull of the sun dragged me down into the dark slumber of the undead, I dreamed about home-about Otherworld and my childhood. I dreamed about the first time I kissed a man-my neighbor Keris. I dreamed about the first time I kissed a woman-Elyas, a fellow operative in the OIA. I dreamed about becoming a priestess in the Sisterhood of the Ancients, a hope that died when I got my first moon blood and became a woman. I dreamed about movement and patterns and fractals, about dance and music and poetry.

And after particularly stressful nights, I dreamed about Dredge. Unfortunately I no longer had the luxury other people have of waking from their nightmares. Once I was asleep, if the memories came to visit, there was no other option than to ride them out, to relive the torture and rape and-eventually-my own blessed death. Over and over again I dreamed about my transformation. Sisyphus reborn, only instead of trickery against the G.o.ds, I was guilty of stealing secrets from a very nasty tempered vampire and his crew. For that, I earned my eternal punishment, d.a.m.ned to walk among the undead until the day I"m ready to let go and die the final death.

I never told Camille and Delilah about the nightmares. There was no need. Why should we all carry such dark memories? There"s nothing they could do to change my destiny, and I refused to weigh them down with the knowledge of just how vicious people, whether living or dead, can be. Though they"d rapidly been discovering that savage truth for themselves, with our battle against the demons.

I put away my book and slowly removed my jeans and turtleneck. Thinking about Dredge had brought up too many memories. I glanced down at my body. No use looking in a mirror, not anymore. My reflection was never there to look back at me. And yet every time I undressed and saw the scars, how could I help but remember?

Their meeting was almost over...