"Meow, apprentice, you must take wonderful care of me while your master is gone."

"Since your master is gone you must feed me."

"Yes, sir," said Alura as she looked at the cat with awe.

"Meow, that"s good. Me and you, we will get many s.h.i.+nies ok," said the cat as he played with a few fel-shards in his hands.

"Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Lollipop the wise?"

"No, sir," said Alura.

"I thought not, it"s not a story the Devil would tell you. It"s an old cat legend. Lollipop was a great cat lord, so powerful and so wise she could use her wit to influence the devils to give her food,"

"She had such knowledge of the cat way that she could even keep the ones she cared about from working. The cat way of life is a pathway to abilities some consider to be unnatural."

"She became so powerful… the only thing she was afraid of was losing her devil slaves, which eventually, of course, she did. Unfortunately, she taught her apprentice everything she knew, then her apprentice stole her favorite devil slaves away in her sleep."

"It"s ironic, she could save others from work, but not herself!"

"Wow, that"s an amazing story!" said Alura with her eyes wide.

"Yes, I can teach you the ways of this cat lord if you wish to learn. The cat way is powerful, a pathway to many unique abilities. Now, Kowtow to me as your master!" said Jurrath.

"I will learn from you great cat lord," said Alura as she kowtowed to the cat.

"Excellent, the first thing you must learn is misdirection. Illusions, dreams, they all are about creating a false sense of reality,"

"We must make many s.h.i.+nies, only then can you understand the profundity of the cat way," said Jurrath as he sat up proudly.

"Yes, great cat lord. I shall not let you down!" said Alura.

"Now I will teach you the rules of the cat way, you must take great care to my words, they are important and can save your life!"

"Yes, great cat lord," said Alura as she grabbed a notepad.

"The first rule of the cat way, once you have their s.h.i.+nies… you never give them back," said Jurrath as he brought out a blackboard and chalk.

…

"The second rule… s.h.i.+nies are everything!" said Jurrath as he wrote on the chalkboard.

"Yes, great cat lord," said Alura as she jotted it down.

…

"The seventh rule… keep your ears open!" said the cat.

"You are wise, great cat lord!" said Alura as she continued to jot down what Jurrath was saying.

…

"The ninth rule… Opportunity plus instinct equals s.h.i.+nies!" said the cat.

"Your knowledge knows no bounds, great cat lord!" said Alura as she hung onto every word the cat said.

…

"The tenth rule… Greed is eternal!" said the cat.

"The cat way is profound, great cat lord," said Alura as she wrote faster.

…

"The thirteenth rule… Anything worth doing is worth doing for s.h.i.+nies!" said the cat.

"Wow, I never knew the cat way was so amazing, great cat lord," said Alura with a wide grin.

…

"The fourteenth rule… Sometimes the quickest way to find s.h.i.+nies is to let them find you!" said the cat.

"Wow, we don"t even have to work for s.h.i.+nies great cat lord?" said Alura.

"Work is not part of the cat way of life, only focus on s.h.i.+nies my young apprentice," said the cat.

…

"The fifteenth rule… Dead cats have no s.h.i.+nies!" said the cat.

Alura nodded her head.

…

"The seventeenth rule… A contract is a contract is a contract… but only between cat lords!" said the cat.

"What?" said Alura.

"Your mastery of the cat way is not profound enough to understand it, fret not my young apprentice," said the cat.

…

"The eighteenth rule… A cat lord without s.h.i.+nies is not a cat lord!" said the cat.

Alura began to cry, "I don"t have s.h.i.+nies!" she said.

"That is why you must learn diligently," said the cat.

…

"The twenty-second rule… A wise cat lord can hear s.h.i.+nies in the wind!" said the cat.

Alura cupped her ear, trying to see if she could hear s.h.i.+nies.

"I don"t hear anything, great cat lord!" said Alura.

"It"s okay, one day you will be able to hear s.h.i.+nies miles away," said the cat.

…

"The thirty-second rule… Every wise cat lord has a chef!" said the cat.

"Yes, I must get a chef," said Alura as she continued taking notes.

…

"The fifty-third rule… Never trust anybody taller than you!" said the cat.

"I will never, great cat lord," said Alura as she took her hand and tried to measure her height.

…

"The eighty-second rule… The flimsier the product, the higher the price!" said the cat.

"Yes, we must always make s.h.i.+nies," said Alura.

"Good, you are starting to understand the cat way," said the cat.

…

"The eighty-fifth rule… Learn the customer"s weaknesses, so you can take better advantage of them!" said the cat.

"Yes, great cat lord," said Alura, she was becoming corrupted by the mischievous cat.

…

"The hundred and twenty-third rule… Even a blind man can recognize the glow of s.h.i.+nies!" said the cat as he brought out s.h.i.+nies.

Alura closed her eyes and tried to see the s.h.i.+nies.

"I can"t see them!" said Alura.

"It"s ok, you are only just learning the cat way," said the cat.

…

"The hundred and ninety-second rule… Never cheat someone stronger than you… unless you"re sure you can get away with it!" said the cat.

"Yes, great cat lord," said Alura.

…

"The two hundred and thirty-ninth rule… Never be afraid to mislabel a product!"

"I understand, great cat lord," said Alura as she switched the labels of the ax to the sword and the sword to ax in the shop.

…

The cat went on and on, eventually listing over 999 cat lord rules that were paramount to a cat lord.

"You should now have a little understanding about what it takes to be a cat lord, your apprentices.h.i.+p begins now," said the cat.

"Now, work at the front of the shop. Get whoever comes in to pay double, no triple what these items are worth. This will be your first mission in the cat way of life!"

Jurrath quickly took a nap as he waited for his next meal. He had successfully scammed his owner"s apprentice into doing his job of watching the shop. All it took was a brief speech.

He was a cat lord.