"You have never believed how fond she is of her father."
On arriving, they were ushered into the room where Miss Ponsonby was at breakfast, and a cup of tea and untasted roll showed where her niece had been. She received them with stiff, upright chillness; and to their hope that Mary was not unwell, replied--"Not very well. She had been over-fatigued yesterday, and had followed her advice in going to lie down."
Louis began to imagine a determination to exclude him, and was eagerly beginning to say that she had asked him to come that morning--could she not see him? when the lady continued, with the same severity--"Until yesterday, I was not aware how much concern Lord Fitzjocelyn had taken in what related to my niece."
At that moment, when Louis"s face was crimson with confusion and impatience, the door was softly pushed ajar, and he heard himself called in low, hoa.r.s.e tones. Miss Ponsonby was rising with an air of vexed surprise, but he never saw her, and, hastily crossing the room, he shut the door behind him, and followed the form that flitted up the stairs so fast, that he did not come up with her till she had entered the drawing-room, and stood leaning against a chair to gather breath.
She was very pale, and her eyes looked as if she had cried all night, but she controlled her voice to say, "I could not bear that you should hear it from Aunt Melicent."
"We had letters this morning, dearest. Always thinking for me! But I must think for you. You can hardly stand--"
He would have supported her to the sofa, but she shrank from him; and, leaning more heavily on the chair, said--"Do you not know, Louis, all that must be at an end?"
"I know no such thing. My father is here on purpose to a.s.sure you that it makes not the slightest difference to him."
"Yours! Yes! But oh, Louis!" with a voice that, in its faintness and steadiness, had a sound of anguish--"only think what I allowed him to make me do! To insult my father and his choice! It was a mistake, I know," she continued, fearing to be unjust and to grieve Louis; "but a most dreadful one!"
"He says he should have brought you home all the same--" began Louis.
"Mary, you must sit down!" he cried, interrupting himself to come nearer; and she obeyed, sinking into the chair. "What a state you are in! How could you go through yesterday? How could you be distressed, and not let me know?"
"I could not spoil their wedding-day, that we had wished for so long."
"Then you had the letter?"
"In the morning. Oh, that I had examined farther! Oh, that I had never come home!"
"Mary! I cannot hear you say so."
"You would have been spared all this. You were doing very well without me--as you will--"
He cried out with deprecating horror.
"Louis!" she said, imploringly. "Oh, Louis! do not make it harder for me to do right."
"Why--what? I don"t understand! Your father has not so much as heard how we stand together. He cannot be desiring you to give me up."
"He--he forbids me to enter on anything of the sort with you. I don"t know what made him think it possible, but he does. And--" again Mary waited for the power of utterance, "he orders me to come out with Mrs.
Willis, in the Valdivia, and it sails on the 12th of December!"
"But Mary, Mary! you cannot be bound by this. It is only fair towards him, towards all of us, to give him time to answer our letters."
Mary shook her head. "The only condition, he says, on which he could allow me to remain, would be if I were engaged to James Frost."
"Too late for that, certainly," said Louis; and the smile was a relief to both. "At any rate, it shows that he can spare you. Only give him time. When he has my father"s explanation--and my father is certain to be so concerned at having cast any imputation on a lady. His first thought was to apologize--"
"That is not all! I remember now that dear mamma always said she did not know whether he would consent. Oh! how weak I was ever to listen--"
"No, Mary, that must not be said. It was my presumptuous, inveterate folly that prevented you from trusting my affection when she might have helped us."
"I don"t know. It would have caused her anxiety and distress when she was in no state for them. I don"t think it did," said Mary, considering; "I don"t think she ever knew how much I cared."
The admission could only do Louis"s heart good, and he recurred to his arguments that her father could be persuaded by such a letter as he felt it in him to write.
"You do not know all," said Mary. "I could not show you his letter; but, from it and from my aunt, I better understand what impressions he has of you all, and how hopeless it is."
"Tell me!"
She could not help giving herself the relief, when that most loving, sympathizing face was pleading with her to let him comfort her. She knew there was no fiery nor rancorous temper to take umbrage, and it was best for him to know the completeness of the death-blow.
"Oh, Louis! he fancies that my dear mother"s fondness for her own family destroyed his domestic peace. He says their pride and narrow notions poisoned--yes, that is the word--poisoned her mind against him; and that was the reason he insisted on my being brought up here, and kept from you all."
"But I don"t understand why he let you come straight home to us, and live in Dynevor Terrace?"
"Then he was really sorry mamma was so ill; and--and for all that was past; I am sure he felt it was the last parting, and only wished to do anything that could make up to her. He freely gave her leave to go wherever she pleased, and said not a word against Northwold. It was one of her great comforts that he never seemed in the least vexed at anything she had done since we went home. Besides, my aunt says that he and Mr. Dynevor had some plans about James and me."
"He will have that out of his head. He will come to reason. Fond of you, and sorry for the past, he will listen. No wonder he was in a pa.s.sion; but just imagine what it would be to heed half Jem Frost says when he is well worked up!"
"Papa is not like James," said Mary; "things go deeper with him. He never forgets! I shall never forgive myself for not having spoken to Robson! I know his manner, seeming to a.s.sent and never committing himself, and I ought to have gone through anything rather than have taken such an accusation for granted."
To hinder his pleading against her self-conviction, she re-opened her letter to prove the cruelty of the injustice. Mr. Ponsonby professed to have been unwilling to enter so speedily on the new tie; but to have been compelled, by the species of persecution which was exercised on Rosita, in order to make her return to her nunnery. He dwelt on her timid affection and simplicity, and her exceeding mortification at the slur which Mary had been induced to cast upon her; though, he said, her innocent mind could not comprehend the full extent of the injury; since the step his daughter had taken would, when known, seriously affect the lady"s reception into society, in a manner only to be repaired by Mary"s immediately joining them at Lima. He peremptorily indicated the ship and the escort--a merchant"s wife, well known to her and charged her, on her duty, as the only proof of obedience or affection which could remedy the past, to allow no influence nor consideration whatever to detain her. "You see?" said Mary.
"I see!" was the answer. "Mary, you are right, you must go."
The words restored her confiding look, and her face lost almost all the restless wretchedness which had so transformed it. "Thank you," she said, with a long breath; "I knew you would see it so."
"It will be a very pretty new style of wedding tour. Andes for Alps!
No, Mary, you need not suspect me of trifling now! I really mean it, and, seriously, our going in that way would set this Rosita straight with society much more handsomely and effectually. Don"t doubt my father--I will fetch him."
"Stop, Louis! You forget! Did I not tell you that he expressly warns me against you? He must have heard of what happened before: he says I had prudence once to withstand, and he trusts to my spirit and discretion to--" Mary stopped short of the phrase before her eyes--to resist the interested solicitations of necessitous n.o.bility, and the allurements of a beggarly coronet. "No," she concluded; "he says that you are the last person whom he could think of allowing me to accept."
She hid her face in her hands, and her voice died away.
"Happily that is done," said Louis, not yet disconcerted; "but if you go, as I own you must, it shall be with a letter of mine, explaining all. You will plead for me--I think you will, and when he is satisfied that we are no rebels, then the first ship that sails for Peru--Say that will do, Mary."
"No, Louis, I know my father." She roused herself and sat upright, speaking resolutely, but not daring to look at him--"I made up my mind last night. It was weak and selfish in me to enter into this engagement, and it must be broken off. You must be left free--not bound for years and years."
"Oh, Mary! Mary! this is too much. I deserved distrust by my wretched folly and fickleness last year, but I did not know what you were to me then--my most precious one! Can you not trust me! Do you not know how I would wait?"
"You would wait," said poor Mary, striving with choking tears, "and be sorry you had waited."
"Are you talking madness, Mary? I should live for the moment to compensate for all."
"You would waste your best years, and when the time came, you would still be young, and I grown into an old careworn woman. You would find you had waited for what was nothing worth!"
"How can you talk so!" cried Louis, wounded, "when you know that to cherish and make up to you would be my dearest, fondest wish! No, don"t shake your head! You know it is not a young rose and lily beauty that I love,--it is the honest, earnest glance in my Mary"s eyes, the rest, and trust, and peace, whenever I do but come near her. Time can"t take that away!"
"Pray," said Mary, feebly, "don"t let us discuss it now. I know it is right. I was determined to say it to-day, that the worst might be over, but I can"t argue, nor bear your kindness now. Please let it wait."
"Yes, let it wait. It is depression. You will see it in a true light when you have recovered the shock, and don"t fancy all must be given up together. Lie down and rest; I am sure you have been awake all night."
"I may rest now I have told you, and seen you not angry with poor papa, nor with me. Oh! Louis--the grat.i.tude to you, the weight off my mind!"