When Abbey called the day before, Jackson was in her office. Even though they were going over their strategy to get the board to agree to accept Ann"s application for tenure, something more lingered between them.

Now here she was on a Sat.u.r.day in yet another one of these stuffy meetings where everyone seemed to be playing kiss-a.s.s to advance their careers. Unfortunately, she was the one who needed to kiss up to the board as that afternoon"s meeting was in regard to her tenure. She hated feeling this way, so out of control.

All she could think about was the conflict between her relationship with Abbey and her relationship with Jackson. Ann was afraid that if the board found out she was a lesbian, her chances for tenure would be destroyed. But if the board discovered that she and Jack were dating, that would dispel those rumors and maybe increase her chances. The thought that dating her boss might be a deterrent apparently never entered Ann"s mind.

Ann looked over at Jack as he stood at the podium boasting to the department chair what an a.s.set Ann had been to the university. Almost as if he could read her mind, Jack glanced in Ann"s direction and smiled, which sent a tingling sensation to her stomach. She forced a demure smile at Jack as he continued with his speech. She knew he hated these meetings, too, but they were a necessary evil. She also knew after the meeting, no matter the outcome, Jack would ask her to come to his office or out for coffee, hoping it would lead to other things.

Ann knew Jackson didn"t understand why she got so upset that night when Abbey walked in on them. Jack didn"t know who the woman was and thought the whole thing was funny. He told Ann it was just his luck that the only time they had a moment of intimacy, some secretary barged in on them.

Yes, Ann was sure he thought she overreacted, but he knew Ann was a private person, and she blamed her reaction on that. What he didn"t know was the depth of her and Abbey"s relationship, and she couldn"t take the chance and tell him.

Ann tapped her pen on her notebook. Her head throbbed with each tap. How did things get so messed up, she thought as Jack stepped down from the podium and took his seat next to her. She gave him another polite smile and looked down at her notebook. The page in front of her was blank, and she wished she could have a blank page in her life to start all over again. Because she was sure there were a few things she would have done differently.

Ann had been at Mercyhurst for eight years. The usual time it took for a professor to acquire tenure was four years, but each year, Ann was pa.s.sed over with no reasonable explanation.

"I can"t understand it," Ann would complain to Abbey over the phone during their marathon calls. "I have a good rapport with my students, my pa.s.s-to-fail ratio is high. What could be holding me back?"

"It"ll happen. I guess you just have to play their game. You know everyone goes through this. Between the politics and the different personalities you have to deal with, yes, it"s tough, but I"m sure the big-wigs will see what an a.s.set you"ve been to the school and have no choice but to give you tenure."

Abbey was Ann"s best cheerleader. No matter how bleak things looked at school, Abbey was there to cheer her up. That was one of the things she loved about Abbey. Another thing she loved about her was that Abbey was always...Abbey. Tried and true, Ann knew she could count on her no matter how bad things got.

Although Ann liked playing games when it involved other people, she hated the games she had to play to keep her job. She didn"t have time to jump through unnecessary hoops to prove she was worthy. Her record should show that, shouldn"t it?

Most universities and colleges specified what a faculty member must do to achieve tenure. Depending on their missions, the decision could be made based on how many articles the member had written, the status of presentations she made at professional conferences; student evaluations; contributions to university committees and governance; and so forth.

Even if a faculty member jumped through all the political hoops, at any point in the process, she could be derailed for a political or personal reason. From a tenure point of view, Ann was at a now-or-never crossroads in her career.

Into this crossroads walked Jackson Price, the new head of the English Department. He seemed to like Ann. Actually, he seemed to like Ann more than she would admit to. Because of this, Ann had a lot of hope for achieving her goal this time around.

Eight years her senior, Jack had come to Mercyhurst in the fall from a small New England town where he had lived with his wife and two sons. He had a sinewy build and cla.s.sically handsome features that were softened by laugh lines about his mouth and eyes. Jack was a runner, too. He ran the Boston Marathon six times. He also liked to travel to exotic places like Fiji, Australia, and China-at least until his sons were born.

Ann and Jack worked on a couple of projects over the past few months. Ann, usually the one in control, liked the way Jack took charge and didn"t take any c.r.a.p from the other department heads. She was amazed at how easily Jack got people to agree with him just by being straightforward and honest.

As Ann saw it, as their friendship grew, her chances for tenure grew, and Jack was her ticket to a more secure future at Mercyhurst. She was certain that he would put in a good word for her to the university president. After all, she had paid her dues. She"d published ten articles for the journals and had given several professional presentations in her field of expertise at neighboring universities. She deserved this.

What Ann didn"t see was the more time she spent with Jack, the more she liked him. He was kind and generous and had a great sense of humor. Other than the fact that Ann was a lesbian and Jackson was straight and married, they had a lot in common.

One night after another grueling department meeting, Jack asked Ann to join him for a drink at the Irish pub down the street from school. Ann was tired but agreed. After three scotch and sodas, the two of them sat in the dark mahogany and worn red leather booths, their heads close together, appearing to be more on a date than two colleagues after a dull departmental meeting. Suddenly, the conversation went from school business to personal. Ann was taken aback when Jack confided in her that his marriage was on the rocks.

"Roseanne and I were married for twelve years, but she says she wants a divorce because she"s not happy here in Erie."

"I"m sorry to hear that. I would have never guessed that you were going through such personal turmoil."

Jack looked up at Ann and smiled. He picked up his half-empty gla.s.s of Glenlivet, swirled the ice cubes around, and tossed back the remaining scotch. "She said she fell out of love with me. Can you believe that?" Jack chuckled. "Not that I"m a great catch or anything. I know I have my faults, but you"d think after twelve years, you would love someone enough to go through anything with them."

"You would think."

"And that"s not the hard part."

"Oh?"

"I just found out that she"s taking our two sons and moving back to Stockbridge. I don"t know what I"ll do if I can"t see my boys every day."

"Jack, that"s terrible. I had no idea what you"ve been going through I"m so sorry."

Jack looked down into his empty gla.s.s. "How do you just fall out of love with someone?"

"I don"t know," Ann said softly as she stared at the c.o.c.ktail napkin she had been fraying the edges of. "I guess people change over time. Sometimes what people think they want turns out wasn"t what they wanted after all."

Jack took one last swig of his scotch. "Hey, I don"t need to be boring you with the gory details of my failed marriage."

Ann reached across the table and touched Jack"s sleeve. "You"re not boring me. It"s okay to talk about it. Sometimes talking about it gives you a better perspective."

Ann was touched by the emotion she saw in Jack"s eyes. She, of course, kept her emotions and the details of her personal life close to the vest. As far as Jack knew, she was a single woman, too involved in her career to have a love life. That was the way Ann wanted it. She felt bad for the guy. There was something about what he was going through that rang true with her. There was something else there, too. Ann liked the chase and the excitement of a forbidden relationship. Being with Jackson seemed to awaken that excitement.

Although Ann loved Abbey, there had been something missing for quite some time. The fiery pa.s.sion that was the main staple of their relationship had long since died out, but wasn"t that what happened in long-term relationships? In her previous relationships, that was what kept things going for her. Ann craved excitement. She liked the way it made her feel alive. That feeling was back again, but not with Abbey.

Ann and Jackson stayed at the bar that night until two in the morning. Jackson offered to walk Ann to her car and helped her on with her coat. As they were leaving, Ann remembered looking into Jackson"s brown eyes and thinking for a brief second that if she wasn"t a lesbian, she would find this guy attractive. She immediately shook off the thought and wished she could order another scotch.

This was the beginning of a relationship Ann never in her wildest dreams thought she would be involved in.

After that night, Jack and Ann seemed to find themselves together more and more. As summer faded into fall, Jackson"s wife, Roseanne, and their two sons, Andy, eight, and Jacob, six, remained in Stockbridge. Even after the couple"s therapy was finished, Roseanne couldn"t find any reason to return to Erie.

Because he hated going home to an empty house, Jack spent most of his time at the office. With Abbey ninety miles from home, Ann too was putting in extra hours, and their situation all but threw them together night after lonely night. It was becoming a common sight to see Jack and Ann together on and off campus. They shared dinner nearly every night during the week. And on the weekends, when Abbey was home, Ann caught herself thinking about Jack. She attributed it to their growing friendship. Camaraderie between two people who worked intensely together for a common cause.

And no one was more surprised than she was on that fateful snowy night two days before Christmas when Jack took Ann into his arms and kissed her. The more surprising thing was that Ann kissed him back, which led to other things, things that she and Jack continued to do, even though she promised Abbey she would never do them again.

The meeting was finally coming to an end. Apparently, Jackson"s influence was what Ann needed as the review committee voted unanimously to grant her tenure. The department"s recommendation would be given to the university provost, and if everything was in order, they would instate Ann next week.

Ann played it cool until the other faculty members left the conference room. She slowly gathered her things as Jack walked the last of the board members to the conference room door. He finished his conversation with their colleagues, then closed the door behind him. Ann stood and turned toward him.

"Jack, I don"t know how to thank you. If it wasn"t for you, I don"t think the committee would even have accepted my application."

Jack smiled wickedly and pulled her close. His lips were inches from hers. Ann"s pulse quickened. She was never more attracted to him than she was at this moment. She loved how Jack took control; that meant she didn"t have to. She liked being taken care of. It made her feel special.

She gave in to her attraction. Jack kissed her hard, pushing her against the conference room table. She could feel his excitement grow though the thin fabric of his trousers. Jack"s hands skimmed down her sides and rested on her hips. He slowly inched her skirt up, hiking it over her hips. Jack kissed her again, and Ann felt her insides warm. She let out a soft moan when she felt Jack"s hand slide underneath her skirt, between her legs. Jack smiled against her lips, kissing her hungrily, feeling the soft, warm wetness their pa.s.sion produced.

Ann"s heart raced, and she felt dizzy with desire. It had been a long time since she felt this way with anyone. The feeling scared her, too. She wasn"t used to feeling so out of control.

Jack tugged at her panties, but Ann grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"Jack, not here. What if someone comes in?"

Jack was breathing heavily. He looked like a little boy denied a special treat. "Ah, Ann, you"re killing me."

They broke their embrace. Ann straightened her jacket and skirt. "Sorry, but it"s too risky."

"So let"s go down to my office."

Ann wanted to go with him but was brought back to reality when she noticed the time on the wall clock. She knew Abbey would be home soon, and she didn"t want to give her anything to be suspicious about.

"Can I take a rain check? I have an appointment I"ve gotta keep," Ann lied.

Jack looked at her and sighed. "I guess so."

Ann kissed him lightly on the lips. "I"ll check in with you tomorrow. Maybe we can get away then."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Jack and Ann walked down the hall to the elevator bank. They pa.s.sed several colleagues, two of whom went into the conference room they just left. Jack looked at Ann and smiled. "Close call."

Ann"s face flushed. "Yep."

They walked in silence until they reached the elevator bank.

"I really do appreciate everything you"ve done for me," Ann said as they waited for the elevator.

The elevator opened and the two stepped on.

"Glad I could help. You"re a good teacher, Ann. You deserve tenure. There"s no doubt about it."

"Thank you so much." Ann sighed and hugged Jack.

"You"re welcome." Jack returned the hug and kissed Ann on the top of her head.

"Good thing these elevators don"t have security cameras," Jack joked.

Their laughter turned to stone silence when the elevator doors slid open on the ground floor.

Chapter Four.

Hayden had to pack and repack the Civic several times. Calli insisted on bringing an inflatable air mattress and other beach apparel.

"I don"t know when you"re planning on using this stuff," Hayden said. "By the looks of our work schedule, we don"t have ten minutes to ourselves until after Labor Day."

Even with the backseat folded down, there didn"t seem to be enough room for her and Calli"s things. Hayden heaved Calli"s Samsonite suitcase into the back of the Civic where it landed with a thud.

"My G.o.d, what have you got in this thing?" Hayden struggled with the suitcase, pushing and shoving it, and she still couldn"t close the hatchback.

"Just the essentials."

"What essentials?" Hayden gritted her teeth and gave the suitcase another push.

"Jeans, shorts, halter tops, T-shirts, makeup, six pairs of shoes, a set of bath towels that my mother insisted on me packing, Paul Mitch.e.l.l shampoo and conditioner, and my professional hair dryer."

"We"re only going away for the summer," Hayden said. "And it"s not like they don"t have stores in Erie. Last I heard, it was a pretty populated place."

Hayden had packed half the stuff that Calli packed, and she would be staying on in Erie after the summer. Calli would be coming back home to work at the GE plant in Warren. Her grades weren"t good enough to get her into a school like Mercyhurst, and her parents couldn"t afford the expensive tuition, anyway.

After one last push, Hayden got the suitcase in and slammed the hatchback shut. The back end of the car sagged under the weight of the cargo the girls had loaded.

Hayden"s mother stood on the cement sidewalk, tears br.i.m.m.i.n.g in her eyes. "Hayden, you drive careful, you hear? And call me when you get in and settled."

Hayden kissed her mother goodbye and slid into the driver"s seat of the Civic. She cranked the window down. "I"ll call, Mom. I love you." With forty dollars in her pocket, an Elton John ca.s.sette in the tape player, and her best friend at her side, Hayden backed out of her driveway and headed into her new life.

Calli read the map while Hayden drove. Tiny Dancer played in the tape deck. "So what exit do we take after we get on Route 11?" Hayden asked.

Calli flipped the map around, unfolding and refolding it.

Hayden looked over at her. "You don"t know where we are, do you?"

"Just give me a minute." Calli snapped her gum as she scanned the blue, red, and green lines that crisscrossed the map. "Wait. Here...here. Route 90...no, Route 50." Calli swiveled the map around, scanning it up and down.

"I need to know soon. I don"t want to miss the turnoff."

Calli opened the map and flipped it over.

"So where do I turn?"

Calli folded up the map and threw it in Hayden"s lap. "You"re putting too much pressure on me. You figure it out." Calli crossed her arms over her chest.

"You know I can"t drive and read the map at the same time. Could you please take another look?"

Calli took the map from Hayden and studied it again. "Okay. Okay. I think I"ve got it. Turn up here onto I-90."

Dust and dirt flew all around them as Hayden sharply turned the wheel, almost missing the exit.

Calli grasped the door handle to steady herself in her seat. As they headed down Interstate 90, she slid on her sungla.s.ses. "See. I"m not such a bad navigator after all."

Hayden rolled her eyes.

She followed I-90 and found the exit for Erie. She drove down to Sixth Street, entered Waldameer Park, and saw the entrance to the employee parking lot.