Fifty Per Cent Prophet.

by Gordon Randall Garrett.

_That he was a phony Swami was beyond doubt. That he was a genuine prophet, though, seemed ... but then, what"s the difference between a dictator and a true prophet? So was he...._

Ill.u.s.trated by Schoenherr

Dr. Joachim sat in the small room behind his reception hall and held his fingers poised above the keys of the rather creaky electrotyper on his desk. The hands seemed to hang there, long, slender, and pale, like two gulls frozen suddenly in their long swoop towards some precious tidbit floating on the writhing sea beneath, ready to begin their drop instantly, as soon as time began again.

All of Dr. Joachim"s body seemed to be held in that same stasis. Only his lips moved as he silently framed the next sentence in his mind.

Physically, the good doctor could be called a big man: he was broad-shouldered and well-muscled, but, hidden as his body was beneath the folds of his blue, monkish robe, only his shortness of stature was noticeable. He was only fifty-four, but the pale face, the full, flowing beard, and the long white hair topped by a small blue skullcap gave him an ageless look, as though centuries of time had flowed over him to leave behind only the marks of experience and wisdom.

The timelessness of an idealized Methuselah as he approached his ninth centennial, the G.o.d-given wisdom engraved on the face of Moses as he came down from Sinai, the mystic power of mighty Merlin as he softly intoned a spell of albamancy, all these seemed to have been blended carefully together and infused into the man who sat behind the typer, composing sentences in his head.

Those gull-hands swooped suddenly to the keyboard, and the aged machine clattered rapidly for nearly a minute before Dr. Joachim paused again to consider his next words.

A bell tinkled softly.

Dr. Joachim"s brown eyes glanced quickly at the image on the black-and-white TV screen set in the wall. It was connected to the hidden camera in his front room, and showed a woman entering his front door. He sighed and rose from his seat, adjusting his blue robes carefully before he went to the door that led into the outer room.

He"d rather hoped it was a client, but--

"h.e.l.lo, Susan, my dear," he said in a soft baritone, as he stepped through the door. "What seems to be the trouble?"

It wasn"t the same line that he"d have used with a client. You don"t ask a mark questions; you tell him. To a mark, he"d have said: "Ah, you are troubled." It sounds much more authoritative and all-knowing.

But Cherrie Tart--_nee_ Sue Kowalski--was one of the best strippers on the Boardwalk. Her winters were spent in Florida or Nevada or Puerto Rico, but in summer she always returned to King Frankie"s _Golden Surf_, for the summer trade at Coney Island. She might be a big name in show business now, but she had never forgotten her carny background, and King Frankie, in spite of the ultra-ultra tone of the _Golden Surf_, still stuck to the old Minsky traditions.

The worried look on her too-perfect face had been easily visible in the TV screen, but it had been replaced by a bright smile as soon as she had heard Dr. Joachim opening the door. The smile flickered for a moment, then she said: "Gee, Doc; you give a girl the creepy feeling that you really _can_ read her mind."

Dr. Joachim merely smiled. Susan might be with it, but a good mitt man doesn"t give away _all_ his little secrets. He had often wished that he could really read minds--he had heard rumors of men who could--but a little well-applied psychology is sometimes just as good.

"So how"s everything been, Doc?" She smiled her best stage smile--every tooth perfect in that perfect face, her hair framing the whole like a perfect golden helmet. She looked like a girl in her early twenties, but Dr. Joachim knew for a fact that she"d been born in 1955, which made her thirty-two next January.

"Reasonably well, all things considered," Dr. Joachim admitted. "I"m not starving to death, at least."

She looked around at the room--the heavy drapes, the signs of the zodiac in gold and silver, the big, over-stuffed chairs, all designed to make the "clients" feel comfortable and yet slightly awed by the ancient atmosphere of mysticism. In the dim light, they looked fairly impressive, but she knew that if the lights were brighter the shabbiness would show.

"Maybe you could use a redecorating job, then, Doc," she said. With a gesture born of sudden impulse, she reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope and pressed it into the man"s hands. He started to protest, but she cut him off. "No, Doc; I want you to have it. You earned it.

"That San Juan-New York flight, remember?" she went on hurriedly. "You said not to take it, remember? Well, I ... I sort of forgot about what you"d said. You know. Anyway, I got a ticket and was ready to go when the flight was suddenly delayed. Routine, they said. Checking the engines. But I"d never heard of any such routine as that. I remembered what you told me, Doc, and I got scared.

"After an hour, they put another plane into service; they were still working on the other one. I was still worried, so I decided to wait till the next day.

"I guess you read what happened."

He closed his eyes and nodded slowly. "I read."

"Doc, I"d"ve been on that flight if you hadn"t warned me. All the money in the world isn"t enough to pay for that." The oddly worried look had come back into her eyes. "Doc, I don"t know how you knew that ship was going to go, and I won"t ask. I don"t want to know. But, ...

one thing: Was it _me_ they were after?"

_She thinks someone blew up the ship_, he thought. _She thinks I heard about the plot some way._ For an instant he hesitated, then:

"No, Susan; they weren"t after you. No one was trying to kill you.

Don"t worry about it."

Relief washed over her face. "O.K., Doc; if you say so. Look, I"ve got to run now, but we"ve got to sit down and have a few drinks together, now that I"m back. And ... Doc--"

"Yes?"

"Anytime you need anything--if I can ever help you--you let me know, huh?"

"Certainly, my dear. And don"t you worry about anything. The stars are all on your side right now."

She smiled, patted his hand, and then was gone in a flash of gold and honey. Dr. Joachim looked at the door that had closed behind her, then he looked down at the envelope in his hands. He opened it gently and took out the sheaf of bills. Fifteen hundred dollars!

He smiled and shoved the money into his pocket. After all, he _was_ a professional fortuneteller, even if he didn"t like that particular label, and he _had_ saved her life, hadn"t he?

He returned to the small back room, sat down again at the typer, and, after a minute, began typing again.

When he was finished, he addressed an envelope and put the letter inside.

It was signed with his legal name: _Peter J. Forsythe_.

It required less than two hours for that letter to end up at its destination in a six-floor brick building, a rather old-fashioned affair that stood among similar structures in a lower-middle-cla.s.s section of Arlington, Virginia, hardly a hop-skip-and-jump from the Pentagon, and not much farther from the Capitol.

The letter was addressed to _Mr. J. Harlan Balfour, President, The Society for Mystical and Metaphysical Research, Inc._, but Mr. Balfour was not at the Society"s headquarters at the time, having been called to Los Angeles to address a group who were awaiting the Incarnation of G.o.d.

Even if he had been there, the letter wouldn"t have reached him first.

All mail was sent first to the office of the Executive Secretary, Mr.

Brian Taggert. Most of it--somewhat better than ninety-nine per cent--went directly on to Mr. Balfour"s desk, if it was so addressed; Brian Taggert would never have been so cruel as to deprive Mr. Balfour of the joy of sorting through the thousands of crackpot letters in search of those who had the true spark of mysticism which so fascinated Mr. Balfour.

Mr. Balfour was a crackpot, and it was his job to take care of other crackpots--a job he enjoyed immensely and wholeheartedly, feeling, as he did, that that sort of thing was the only reason for the Society"s existence. Of course, Mr. Balfour never considered himself or the others in the least bit crackpottish, in which he was just as much in error as he was in his a.s.sumption of the Society"s _raison d"etre_.

Ninety per cent of the members of the Society for Mystical and Metaphysical Research were just what you would expect them to be.

Anyone who was "truly interested in the investigation of the supranormal", as the ads in certain magazines put it, could pay five dollars a year for membership, which, among other things, ent.i.tled him to the Society"s monthly magazine, _The Metaphysicist_, a well-printed, conservative-looking publication which contained articles on everything from the latest flying saucer report to careful mathematical evaluations of the statistical methods of the Rhine Foundation. Within its broad field, the magazine was quite catholic in its editorial policy.

These members const.i.tuted a very effective screen for the real work of the society, work carried on by the "core" members, most of whom weren"t even listed on the membership rolls. And yet, it was this group of men and women who made the Society"s t.i.tle true.