"Some one else had need to be sorry, not me."
Perhaps, in the midst of his captious state, Alfred was somewhat pacified by hearing sounds below that made him certain that Harold was not escaping without some strong words from his mother.
They were not properly taken. Harold was in no mood of repentance, and the consciousness that he had been behaving most unkindly, only made him more rough and self-justifying.
"I can"t help it! I can"t be a slave to run about everywhere, and remember everything--pony losing her shoe, and nigh tumbling down with me, and Ross at the post so cross for nothing!"
"You"ll grieve at the way you have used your poor brother one of these days, Harold," quietly answered his mother, so low, that Alfred could not hear through the floor. "Now, you"ll please to go to bed."
"Ain"t I to have no supper?" said Harold in a sullen voice, with a great mind to sit down in the chimney-corner in defiance.
"I shall give you something hot when you are in bed. If I treated you as you deserve, I should send you to Mr. Blunt"s this moment; but I can"t afford to have you ill too, so go to bed this moment."
His mother could still master him by her steadiness and he went up, muttering that he"d no notion of being treated like a baby, and that he would soon shew her the difference: he wasn"t going to be made a slave to Alfred, and "twas all a fuss about that stuff!
He did fancy he said his prayers; but they could not have been real ones, for he was no softer when his mother came to his bedside with a great basin of hot gruel. He said he hated such nasty sick stuff, and grunted savagely when, with a look that ought to have gone to his heart, she asked if he thought he deserved anything better.
Yet she did not know of the shooting gallery, nor of his false excuses.
If he had not been deceiving her, perhaps he might have been touched.
"Well, Harold," she said at last, after taking the empty basin from him, and picking up his wet clothes and boots to dry them by the fire, "I hope as you lie there you"ll come to a better mind. It makes me afraid for you, my boy. It is not only your brother you are sinning against, but if you are a bad boy, you know Who will be angry with you. Good-night."
She lingered, but Harold was still hard, and would neither own himself sorry, nor say good-night.
When she pa.s.sed his bed at the top of the stairs again, after hanging up the things by the fire, he had his head hidden, and either was, or feigned to be, asleep.
Alfred"s ill-temper was nearly gone, but he still thought himself grievously injured, and was at no pains to keep himself from groaning and moaning all the time he was being put to bed. In fact, he rather liked to make the most of it, to shew his mother how provoking she was, and to reproach Harold for his neglect.
The latter purpose he did not effect; Harold heard every sound, and consoled himself by thinking what an intolerable work Alfred was making on purpose. If he had tried to bear it as well as possible, his brother would have been much more likely to be sorry.
Alfred was thinking too much about his misfortunes and discomforts to attend to the evening reading, but it soothed him a little, and the pain was somewhat less, so he did fall asleep, so uneasily though, that Mrs.
King put off going to bed as late as she could.
It was nearly eleven, and Ellen had been in bed a long time, when Alfred started, and Mrs. King turned her head, at the click of the wicket gate, and a step plashing on the walk. She opened the little window, and the gust of wet wind puffed the curtains, whistled round the room, and almost blew out the candle.
"Who"s there?
"It"s me, Mrs. King! I"ve got the stuff," called a hoa.r.s.e tired voice.
"Well, if ever! It"s Paul Blackthorn!" exclaimed Mrs. King. "Thank ye kindly. I"ll come and let you in."
"Paul Blackthorn!" cried Alfred. "Been all the way to Elbury for me! O Mother, bring him up, and let me thank him! But how ever did he know?"
The tears came running down Alfred"s cheeks at such kindness from a stranger. Mrs. King had hurried down-stairs, and at the threshold stood a watery figure, holding out the gallipot.
"Oh! thank you, thank you; but come in! Yes, come in! you must have something hot, and get dried."
Paul shambled in very foot-sore. He looked as if he were made of moist mud, and might be squeezed into any shape, and streams of rain were dropping from each of his many rags.
"Well, I don"t know how to thank you--such a night! But he"ll sleep easy now. How did you come to think of it?"
"I was just coming home from the parson"s, and I met Harold putting up Peggy, in a great way because he"d forgotten. That"s all, Missus," said Paul, looking shamefaced. "Good-night to you."
"No, no, that won"t do. I must have you sit down and get dry," said Mrs.
King, nursing up the remains of the fire; and as Paul"s day-garments served him for night-gear likewise, he could hardly help accepting the invitation, and spreading his chilled hands to the fire.
As to Mrs. King"s feelings, it must be owned that, grateful as she was, it was rather like sitting opposite to the heap in the middle of Mr.
Shepherd"s farm-yard.
"Would you take that?" she said, holding out a three-penny piece. "I"d make it twice as much if I could, but times are hard."
"No, no, Missus, I didn"t do it for that," said Paul, putting it aside.
"Then you must have some supper, that I declare."
And she brought out a slice of cold bacon, and some bread, and warmed some beer at the fire. She would go without bacon and beer herself to- morrow, but that was nothing to her. It was a real pleasure to see the colour come into Paul"s bony yellow cheeks at the hearty meal, which he could not refuse; but he did not speak much, for he was tired out, and the fire and the beer were making him very sleepy.
Alfred rapped above with the stick that served as a bell. It was to beg that Paul would come and be thanked; and though Mrs. King was a little afraid of the experiment, she did ask him to walk up for a moment.
Grunt went he, and in rather an unmannerly way, he said, "I"d rather not."
"Pray do," said Mrs. King; "I don"t think Alfred will sleep easy without saying thank you."
So Paul complied, and in a most ungainly fashion clumped up-stairs and stood at the door. He had not forgotten his last reception, and would not come a step farther, though Alfred stretched out his hand and begged him to come in.
Alfred could say only "Thank you, I never thought any one would be so kind."
And Paul made gruff reply, "Ye"re very welcome," turned about as if he were running away, and tumbled down-stairs, and out of the house, without even answering Mrs. King"s "Good-night."
Harold had wakened at the sounds. He heard all, but he chose to seem to be asleep, and, would you believe it? he was only the more provoked!
Paul"s exertion made his neglect seem all the worse, and he was positively angry with him for "going and meddling, and poking his nose where he"d no concern. Now he shouldn"t be able to get the stuff to-morrow, and so make it up; and of course mother would go and dock Paul"s supper out of his dinner!"
If such reflections were going on upon one side of the part.i.tion, there were very different thoughts upon the other. The stranger"s kindness had done more than relieve Alfred"s pain: the warm sense of thankfulness had softened his spirit, and carried off his selfish fit. He knew not how kind people were to him, and how ungrateful he had been to punish his innocent mother and sister, and so much to magnify a bit of thoughtlessness on Harold"s part; to be angry with his mother for not driving him out when she thought it might endanger his health and life, and to say such cruel things on purpose to wound her. Alfred felt himself far more cruel than he had even thought Harold.
And was this his resolution? Was this the shewing the sincerity of his repentance through his conduct in illness? Was this patience? Was it brotherly love? Was it the taking up the cross so as to bear it like his Saviour, Who spoke no word of complaining, no murmur against His tormentors?
How he had fallen! How he had lost himself! It was a bitter distress, and threw him almost into despair. He prayed over and over to be forgiven, and began to long for some a.s.surance of pardon, and for something to prevent all his right feelings and wishes from thus seeming to slip away from his grasp at the first trial.
He told his mother how sorry he was; and she answered, "Dear lad, don"t fret about it. It was very hard for you to bear, and you are but learning, you see, to be patient."
"But I"m not learning if I don"t go on no better," sighed Alfred.
"By bits you are, my boy," she said; "you are much less fractious now than you used to be, only you could not stand this out-of-the-way trial."
Alfred groaned.
"Do you remember what our Saviour said to St. Peter?" said his mother; ""Whither I go thou canst not follow Me now, but thou shalt follow Me afterwards." You see, St. Peter couldn"t bear his cross then, but he went on doing his best, and grieving when he failed, and by-and-by he did bear it almost like his Master. He got to be made strong out of weakness."
There was some comfort to Alfred in this; but he feared, and yet longed, to see Mr. Cope, and when he came, had scarcely answered his questions as to how he felt, before he said, "O Sir, I"ve been a bad boy again, and so cross to them all!"