Chapter 11: Brothers. Siblings.

When I awoke, it was 5 in the evening.
「……It’s already this time…I’m hungry…」
I went out of the room to go eat something…….The lights are off, the entire corridor was pitch-black.
(I should turn the light on…… Huh? Oniichan’s room’s door is slightly open……)
From within a little light peaked out.
(I wonder what it is)
I approached the door out of curiosity.
……Which reminds me, this is the first time I’ve been to Oniichan’s room…
I timidly opened the door.

Inside was pitch-black and I couldn’t see anything, except for, the notebook computer that had been suspiciously left open.

(That is…… A notepad computer?)

When I looked properly I could see what was written in the record.

『State on August 8: Normal. No unusual change』

Date, state, and then a single record were written—that’s about when I started high school—it continues on never missing a day.

(I wonder what this record is…? This “normal” bugs me)

Suddenly when I looked at the t.i.tle in the upper left there was — “Tomoki” clearly written.

(Tomoki…… That’s my name!?… Then this, is my record)

I instinctively took the mouse, and continued to read.

–Almost everything read “State: Normal”. The diary read “no change” for everything except for one entry.

『State on August 15: Abnormality. Instead of taking cold medicine, he took “s.e.x change” medicine by mistake. There was not enough caution taken with the Medicine shelf. It’s my responsibility.』

“It’s my responsibility.”……Once I saw those words, my body began to tremble.
And today’s record.

『State on August 16: Abnormality. I am puzzled at my own change in frame of mind. I am irritated that I am unable to do anything.』

「Oniichan…….」
Honestly, I was surprised.

I thought he was unfriendly, and didn’t care about me at all… to have this kind of brother… I can’t believe it. I can’t say anything.

—At that moment.
I felt the presence of someone behind me.
I panicked and turned around. And there—
「Ni, Oniichan!?」
Well of course, he was the master of this room.

…… Which reminds me, I went into Oniichan’s room without permission and looked at his pc. He’s definitely angry.
「U- um, this is, um……」
While desperately looking for an excuse—
「……Did you see it?」
Oniichan asks.
「U- um……Yes」
「I see……」
While saying that, Oniichan approaches his pc and looks at the display for a while just like that.
「You, when you saw this, what did you think?」
「Eh? Well, that is……」
「I won’t get angry, I won’t criticize you either. Please honestly tell me」
「……Why, are you keeping a record about me…is what I thought」
「I would think so…」
While saying that, Oniichan turns on the light to his room.
–Oniichan’s room was extremely organized… the books on the shelf where arranged alphabetically.

Then Oniichan sits at the desk with the notebook computer and starts to talk.
「……Actually, Mom and Dad asked me to watch after you」
「M- me? …why?」
「Who knows…While mom and dad are away on business trip, I am tentatively the oldest. They told me it was to reconfirm my responsibilities as the oldest I guess.」
「Recently… I’m already a high school student, I can take care of myself……」
「They’re worried…… You’re too effeminate」
「Wh-……don’t say effeminate!」
「If you a man then use at least two exclamation points when you talk.」
「What is that……That has nothing to do with you Oniichan!」
……But Oniichan things like being effeminate, I’ve seen him do things like that as well, now that it’s come to this.
「……Anyway, I was asked to look after you by Mom and Dad…….But who would have known that you were going to have a s.e.x change……」
「That was…….that’s not Oniichan’s fault. I didn’t read the label properly–」
「No, it’s my fault.」
Onii-chan interrupted me again.
「I …messed up the life of the only little brother… in the entire world……」
Oniichan looked down.
「………」
I couldn’t object.
I feel like I’m being rejected.
「……Oniichan, raise your face. I haven’t given up. I believe that Oniichan will make the antidote」
After saying that, Oniichan suddenly stands and clings to me.
「-!?…Wait, Oniichan, it hurts–」
「You……I always thought that you hated me…But I have always thought about you Tomoki… and」

There are tears in Oniichan’s eyes.
「Oniichan……」
My real brother, while one-sidedly clinging to me while sobbing, he’s saying incoherent things…I’ve seen and heard many things that cause me to doubt but even before that–「……It’s been a long time, since you’ve said my name」
That is the thing that makes me the happiest, it had the greatest impact.
「I could never hate Oniichan……. You’ll always be the Oniichan I brag about」
「Tomoki……!!」
Oniichan embraces me even more closely than before. I can even feel my own heartbeat.

「…I love you, Oniichan」

That was, not the meaning of romantic love but as brothers, family. Oniichan seems to understand that as well.
「……Thank you…」
While saying that Oniichan parts from me and wipes his tears with part of his sleeve.

「……Oniichan, you don’t need to feel completely responsible. Even I am responsible… Can’t we carry that together?」
「……Isn’t that like a proposal?」
「Wh-……!」
In that moment my face flushed as I understood.

「I- I don’t mean it like that!!!」