Chapter Nineteen (Part 1)

On New Year’s Eve there was a small snowstorm. At the An household, Miss Chen cooked a hot pot dinner for New Year’s Eve.

An Xiao Li loved New Year’s Eve dinner the most. The whole night she got to hear Miss Chen lovingly spar with both her dad and herself. Occasionally An Bu San got to interject a few questions, but at any time before he got to finish ‘the so-called’ conversation starter of his, Miss Chen would intimidate him to keep his trap shut.

Since yesterday afternoon, Chen Yu Bai didn’t say a lot and his complexion was colder than the snowstorm outside. Both An Bu San and Miss Chen noticed Chen Yu Bai was quieter than usual, but they weren’t nosey people so they didn’t ask about it.

Miss Chen took out two New Year red packets for her daughter and her nephew. ‘It’s time to wish us a Happy New Year!’

Chen Yu Bai and An Xiao Li received their red packets. An Xiao Li glanced at Chen Yu Bai’s bigger red packet and wasn’t happy. ‘Why is his red packet bigger than mine?’

Chen Yu Bai ignored An Xiao Li and he calmly put his red packet on the table. ‘Thank you Miss Chen, thank you uncle. Happy New Year.’

Miss Chen knocked An Xiao Li’s head. ‘I’ve raised you myself, but why are you so bad? Like a little dummy girl. You’ll be turning twenty-three years old, how can I marry you off in your bad state?’

‘I’m still young!’ An Xiao Li mumbled. She was still unhappy about Chen Yu Bai’s bigger red packet.

‘Twenty-three is still young? I’m letting you know, aunty Zheng is setting you up with her nephew who’s a senior manager of a real estate company. After New Year, you’ll go on an arranged date with him so you better be on your best behaviour and don’t embarra.s.s your mum! If he rejects you, wait and see how I deal with you!’

Miss Chen warned her daughter and at the same time glanced at her nephew to see what his reaction was. Chen Yu Bai calmly ate his dinner and pretended like he didn’t hear their conversation.

‘I don’t want to have an arranged date…’ An Xiao Li protested.

‘Don’t worry, it’s not certain he’ll reject you,’ Miss Chen said.

An Bu San felt his wife’s unnecessary interference in their daughter’s life was laughable. An Bu San patted their daughter’s shoulder sympathetically, he knew what it was like to be bullied by his wife into doing something against his will. Even Chen Yu Bai smiled at Miss Chen’s antics.

It was obvious the atmosphere in the house was warm, but An Xiao Li didn’t know what p.r.i.c.ked her heart because tears fell down her cheeks. In that moment An Xiao Li snapped out of her daze and realised she was heartbroken.

An Bu San and Miss Chen both didn’t understand why their daughter was crying and thought their daughter was sulking. Chen Yu Bai was quiet for a long time then he pa.s.sed his red packet to Xiao Li. ‘Don’t cry anymore.’

An Xiao Li heard Chen Yu Bai’s tone sounded like an older cousin teasing their younger cousin. She gripped the red packet and her heart was more depressed.

‘Yu Bai, you’ll be turning twenty-nine years old. Is your Chen Yin Jiang arranging your marriage yet?’ Miss Chen asked her nephew to deflect the attention off her daughter.

‘I’m responsible for making my own life decisions,’ Chen Yu Bai said.

‘Oh? You actually have a girlfriend already? Who is she? How’s her personality? When are you two getting married?’ Miss Chen asked.

‘Was planning to get married next year, but…’ Chen Yu Bai said and paused to glance at Xiao Li who was bending her head and wiping her nose. ‘She’s mad at me at the moment. Next time I’ll introduce her to you. She’s a little dummy, her personality… recently I realised she’s a little unreasonable.’

An Xiao Li threw the tissue she used to wipe her nose onto the dining table and glared at Chen Yu Bai. ‘Who’s the one that’s unreasonable?’

‘Xiao Li! Don’t you know how to be polite?’ An Bu San scolded.

Chen Yu Bai quietly smiled. An Xiao Li glared at Chen Yu Bai and turned away and met Miss Chen’s accusatory look and it made An Xiao Li more upset that her eyes stung.

After dinner, the town’s event organisers invited everyone in the town from teachers to students to go to the school’s field to watch fireworks. The An household all went to see the fireworks. It was a big crowd and a lot of kids were running and playing around. There was a chubby little boy who knocked over a dazed An Xiao Li, the chubby little boy made a face at An Xiao Li and ran away laughing.

Chen Yu Bai followed behind the An household but rushed to Xiao Li when he saw her fell onto the snowy ground. He helped her stand up. She pushed him away, brushed snow off her body and avoided eye contact with him. ‘Thank you.’

‘Don’t be polite,’ Chen Yu Bai said in a colder tone than An Xiao Li’s cold tone of voice.

Chen Yu Bai and An Xiao Li both stood frozen on the spot and later the fireworks exploded in the sky. It was the part of the night that An Xiao Li antic.i.p.ated the most on New Year’s Day. But in that moment she stood shoulder to shoulder with Chen Yu Bai, she momentarily felt regret, if he was still her little Bai it’d have been something to rejoice, watching the beautiful sky of fireworks with the man of her dreams.

‘Yesterday I was too hot headed, I’m sorry,’ Chen Yu Bai said too fast.

‘Huh?’ An Xiao Li asked.

‘It’s nothing,’ Chen Yu Bai said.

Chen Yu Bai wore a black jacket and he tilted his head up like he was watching the fireworks, but his eyes were distant and cold.

In the midst of the loud applause and cheers, the radio through the school’s speaker system played Happy New Year songs.

‘Do you celebrate New Year like this every year?’ Chen Yu Bai asked.

‘What other way is there to celebrate New Year? How do you celebrate New Year?’ An Xiao Li asked reluctantly.

‘Work,’ Chen Yu Bai said.

‘You work on New Year’s Day?’ An Xiao Li asked.

‘For me it’s just time, there’s no difference,’ Chen Yu Bai said.

‘Cold-blooded,’ An Xiao Li said.

‘Um,’ Chen Yu Bai said calmly. ‘In the past I used to think I didn’t need any warmth.’

‘When I was a kid, my family hosted fireworks at home that was even more beautiful than the fireworks here, but I didn’t bother watching the fireworks. When Chen Yin Ren was still living in our family home, we celebrated New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day together, back then she didn’t know how to cook yet so she made instant noodles for me. That was how I used to celebrate New Year’s Eve dinner with Chen Yin Ren, because we didn’t like spending it with all our relatives and a bunch of outsiders invited to our home for dinner,’ Chen Yu Bai said.

An Xiao Li noticed when Chen Yu Bai spoke slower, his breath was colder and it seemed to give off a sense of loneliness that contrasted to the lively atmosphere around them. His face was cold as usual, but she felt that he was opening his protective layer that he kept closed for most of his life and it revealed his vulnerable heart.

An Xiao Li felt that most things had hard sh.e.l.ls on the outside, because on the inside were vulnerabilities like fear of being hurt.

‘The first time I met you, I felt that Chen Yin Ren was actually a dummy. You won’t an angel like how she described. You were a country b.u.mpkin, timid and I didn’t get to scare you but you were already crying and your nose was runny. You were troublesome,’ Chen Yu Bai said.

Chen Yu Bai only spoke that much about his past to An Xiao Li that night. Suddenly he turned away from her and smiled to himself. Under the bright fireworks, she felt that his handsomeness choked her breathless.

An Xiao Li didn’t remember what she was like when she met Chen Yu Bai. That far away afternoon, Miss Chen just got secretly married to her dad and Miss Chen brought her and her dad home to meet Miss Chen’s family. Miss Chen’s family had guards stopped An Bu San from coming inside Miss Chen’s family home. Miss Chen brought An Xiao Li inside her family home and upstairs into Chen Yu Bai’s room. Then Miss Chen went downstairs and had a screaming match with her parents. After that day, Miss Chen’s heart was coldly set and she never mentioned anything about the Chen household in front of An Bu San or An Xiao Li.

‘An Xiao Li, if back then I could predict my future, I wouldn’t bully you. If I could predict what happened now, I wouldn’t… have done so many things that caused you to hate me,’ Chen Yu Bai said.

Chen Yu Bai’s voice gradually faded. An Xiao Li’s eyes released a flood of tears and he slowly wiped her tears. He gently held her face and looked into her eyes. ‘I’m really sorry, I made you this sad. I’m sorry.’

The fireworks bloomed and half the sky was dyed in bright colours. The loud applause and cheers on the school’s field were continuous. In the midst of the lively joy, everyone tilted their heads up and looked up at the sky. Except for An Xiao Li who covered her mouth and cried silently and Chen Yu Bai who bent his head and quietly bypa.s.sed the crowd of people and left An Xiao Li behind.

End of Chapter Nineteen (Part 1)