But the shape was the only thing man-like. It didn"t have fingers; instead, its hands were just these scoop-like things, and the feet were plops. The face took longest to form. I didn"t see anything like ears, nose, or mouth, but its eyes?

Well, not eyes. Eye.

The eye was the size of a melon. That was the facea"just that big lidless white eyeball sort of jammed right into the meat where the face should be. There were veins in the eye, but they were all different colors, and the iris was gold.

Then a"

I looked between its legs...

"WHAT THE f.u.c.k IS THAT!" I yelled so loud I thought my throat would rip. "Is that its d.i.c.k?"

The thing sticking out between its legs was made of the same red-and-white meat, only its shape...

It had a shaft, about an inch wide, that was probably ten inches long, but that wasn"t the scary part. Instead of a k.n.o.b on the end there was this big cup, like the rubber cup on the end of a toilet plunger.

"The genitalia of this form of Shoggoth is quite unique," Kezzy explained.

"IT LOOKS LIKE A f.u.c.kIN" TOILET PLUNGER!" I shrieked.

"Actually, Ann, it functions similarly. Upon excitement, the foreskin blossoms into the flexible "cup" that you see now. You"ll understand the complete nature of the process momentarily. But even Shoggoths are sensate enough to seek out a little foreplay, hmmm?"

I just started shivering, paralyzed, when the thing picked me up like I weighed nothing, and laid me down on the slab-like altar. I couldn"t look at it, couldn"t look at that puckering, one-eyed face, so I closed my eyes and just hoped I would die of a heart attack or something.

Just then Kezzy began reading from the book. I couldn"t hear the words but I knew what it must be. The Ritus Imitor...

"Watch, Ann. Look at the thurible"s smoke."

I turned my head and opened my eyes just for a second. I was looking at that tin ball with holes in it. The smoke was coming out heavier now and it made the image of Joseph Curwen"s ghost clearer, almost so clear that he could"ve been standing here for real. But then Kezzy whispered, "Gleb nub ee-ak, lyrun"b thrubb"k," anda"

Curwen"s ghost vanished.

But I knew it had gone right into the body of the Shoggoth, and that"s when the thing started feeling me up with the scoop-hands...

They were more wet than slimy, like your armpit on a hot day. First they slid up and down my whole body, almost like it was ma.s.saging me, then the scoops were playing with my b.o.o.bs. The sweat coming out of that red-and-white meat must"ve had something in it "cos all of a sudden I wasn"t scared to death anymore.

I was turned on.

"The discharge from the Shoggoth"s sebaceous glands contain arcane libidinal accelerants," Kezzy said, "but this discharge tends to be selective. It indicates that Joseph Curwen likes you, Ann. It will make the experience even more ecstatic."

My b.o.o.bs were tingling like electricity, and then my whole body started to tingle the same way. Then the scoop-hands slid around and started kneading my a.s.s, and eventually one of them began rubbing my p.u.s.s.y.

I started coming in waves. I couldn"t even think anymore it felt so good. Kezzy said, "The o.r.g.a.s.ms you"re experiencing now are only preludial, but just wait till Joseph starts f.u.c.king you in earnest with the Shoggoth"s c.o.c.k..."

The thing spread my legs apart and climbed up on top of me. The cup on the end of its c.o.c.k kind of sealed around my p.u.s.s.y, then...

"Get ready, Ann."

When it pushed its c.o.c.k into me, the cup turned inside-out, and then the shaft went all the way into my c.u.n.t. That was all she wrote for my hymen, and it really did pop. There was a sound and sensation like when you open a jar of jelly and the freshness seal pops. It hurt like holy h.e.l.l for, like, one second, and then...

I started coming again, only it was a hundred times better than before. I could feel the cup a"I guess the word is prolapsinga"prolapsing back and forth with each stroke in and each stroke out. The Shoggoth was doing me real slow and steady, like a machine, and when I finally opened my eyes, I saw its eye staring down at me, all those multicolored veins throbbing. At first I had an o.r.g.a.s.m with each stroke, but then it got crazy and I started having one each time my heart beat and, lemme tell you, my heart was beating fast.

It did me like that for, I guess, a half hour, and by then I thought I would just croak right on the slab from all those o.r.g.a.s.ms.

"Pay attention now, Ann," Kezzy said. She was leaning against one of the pillars, her panties off, playing with herself. "This is the spectacular part."

When the Shoggoth dragged its c.o.c.k out of me, the cup popped out and was now like it originally was. It fit right back around my p.u.s.s.y, and then I saw the shaft pulsing and then something hot and gushy pushing against my p.u.s.s.y. It was coming now not inside me but outside, filling the cup up.

That"s when Kezzy said, "Shub neb hyr"ik eb hyr"k. Ogthrod ai"f geb"l, ee"h yog-sothoth."

When the Shoggoth pushed its hips forward, the cup turned inside-out again and pumped all that c.u.m right up into me. The stuff felt real thick and was so hot it was just short of scalding. In and out the cup went, just like someone plungering a drain; it even made a sound like that-Only the drain was my womb.

On the last stroke of the cup, I had one great big absolutely insane o.r.g.a.s.m, and then that was it for me. I was out cold.

Me and Hannah woke up to the sound of the tires humming on asphalt. We were still naked; Zenas had flopped us both into the back of the Rolls when the final initiation was over.

"Don"t mind the mess, girls," Kezzy said up front. Her perfect f.u.c.king blond hair was blowing in the breeze from the open window. "Zenas will clean it up like he does every year."

Zenas grunted, but I thought, Mess?

Me and Hannah felt between our legs; then we knew what she meant. The Shoggoth"s c.u.m was, like, stuffed up our p.u.s.s.ies. It wasn"t anything like a guy"s c.u.m, more like cottage cheese or wet plaster, but it was the color of dark mustard. Some of it was slowly leaking out.

"You"ll be busy bees tonight," Kezzy chuckled. "With your douche bags, I mean."

"f.u.c.k, Miss Kezzy. That thing"s c.u.m is stuck so far up us, we"ll need garden hoses and soup spoons to get it all out, and" a" a thought hit me just then, like a lightning bolt. "Holy f.u.c.kin" s.h.i.t! What if we get knocked up?"

"Knocked...up?" Hannah whispered.

She screamed at the possibility, then pa.s.sed out again.

"Oh, you needn"t worry about that. The Shoggoth"s sperm is wholly incompatible with human reproductive systems." Kezzy was fussing with her hair. "But there are some useful attributes that the creature"s sperm can impart to humans." She turned to look at us. "I"ll bet you feel better than you ever have, hmm?"

Actually...! did. Those insane o.r.g.a.s.ms really tuned me up.

"How long were we pa.s.sed out, Miss Kezzy?"

"For hours, we"re nearly home. Oh, and it"s no longer necessary to address me as Miss Kezzy. Just Kezzy from now on, since we"re friends now."

"So...me and Hannah pa.s.sed?"

Kezzy frowned. "You"ll learn to speak properly soon enough, Ann, but I"m sure what you meant to ask was "Did Hannah and I pa.s.s?" and the answer is yes."

"So, so...we"re in?"

"Of course. I never had any doubt at all. And I"m not exaggerating when I say that you are the finest pledge I"ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. I"m sure you"ll make an equally fine Alpha House sister."

I just stared at the moon for a while. I made it. I"m in... Then I sat back in the plush leather seat and smiled.

"Why, look at this," she said a few minutes later. "Up ahead, Ann?"

I looked between her and Zenas, and down the road, in the headlights, I could see someone walking on the shoulder.

"There appears to be an underprivileged, lower-economic-status white woman hitchhiking..."

I squinted. "Oh, you mean a white trash b.i.t.c.h, a f.u.c.kin" redneck."

"Don"t you think it would be charitable to give the poor girl a ride? Or might it be even...better...to throw Shoggoth sperm on her?"

f.u.c.k yeah! I thought. All I had to do was flex some muscles down there and then a whole handful of the slop squeezed out into my hand. I rolled down the power window and a"

SPLAT!.

a" hit that trailer-park "ho right in the face. f.u.c.k, the s.h.i.t hit her so hard she fell down!

Me, Kezzy, and Zenas all cackled laughter.

Epilogue.

So that"s my story. That was three years ago, and now I"m about to start my senior year at Dunwich. My a" grade-point average is 4.0; I"ll be graduating a semester early with an honors degree in Advanced Mathematics. I can go to any grad school I want, or just take a job pretty much anywhere with a starting salary of $300,000, but I haven"t decided yet. Hannah has a 4.0 as well, Plasma Physics. And you may be interested to know that since that night at the Curwen bungalow, I have never, ever lost a coin toss. If I think tails, it"s tails. If I think heads, it"s heads.

Every time.

Those subliminal words that Kezzy played on the tape loop, and whispered when the Joseph-Curwen-possessed Shoggoth was e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.n.g. in me, were this: "Upon this blessing I receive a blessing. I now live to love and serve Yog-Sothoth."

It was a blessing, all right. Hannah and I got the greatest blessing we could ever conceive of. And we found out in short order that Kezzy"s spiel about tutorial programs and fitness and nutrition regimens was all a cover story. That Shoggoth"s c.u.m was loaded with genetic const.i.tuents that effused into our bloodstreams and brains. It gave us photographic memories, off-the-charts I.Q"s, and comprehension levels like f.u.c.kin" Einstein.

Oops. Sorry, I"m not supposed to cuss anymore. It bespeaks coa.r.s.eness and lack of refinement a" not acceptable characteristics of an Alpha House sister. I"m working on it, at any rate.

By the way, two years ago, my parents were both killed in a regrettable car accident. Evidently dear old dad lost control of the Maserati and crashed head-on into a tree. You can pause to wonder about that; I"ll simply leave it to your powers of contemplation. I inherited everything but I donated nearly all of the estate to Alpha House. As smart as I am now? I won"t need dad"s inheritance. f.u.c.k him.

Oops! Sorry...

Oh, and I weigh 118 pounds now. I look a lot like Angelina Jolie but with much better b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Hannah looks quite a bit like Brooke Shields but when Brooke Shields was, like, f.u.c.kin" twenty.

d.a.m.n! There I go again.

Anyway, the Shoggoth"s sperm did more than just make us smart. It changed us. It made us beautiful. It changed our entire body chemistries. Just more of the blessing of Yog-Sothoth. I read Al Azif every night.

Kezzy visits sometimes from Yale, and we make love for hours on end. When we come, our tentacles just slide out of our v.a.g.i.n.as and entwine. It feels so good.

Oh, here come the new pledges. I forgot to tell you, I"m the new Senior Sorority Sister...

"Good morning, pledges. Welcome to Alpha House. My name is Miss Ann a"and hear me well when I say Miss.... And, my, what a ho-hum crew destiny has seen fit to cough my way today, hmm? Why, I"d wager that the four of you together would break a one-ton industrial scale, yes, indeed. Be that as it may, I am your Senior Sorority Sister, and I will be conducting you through this marveling event known as Pledge Week.... But before we begin, would you all like some coffee? Yes? Good! It"s preeminent quality a" Costa Rican.... There you go, ladies....

Zenas!"

"Ee-yuh, Miss Ann?"

"Pour the cream."

end.