I could hear her teeth grind she was so mad now. She twisted my ear till it hurt. "You"re starting to sound like a nitwit, Ann, and Alpha House has no room for nitwits!" She opened her p.u.s.s.y lips with her fingers. "Look in there. Any snakes? Hmmm?"

"Well...no..."

She s.n.a.t.c.hed my hand and made me put two fingers in. "Feel around and tell me if there are any snakes!"

"No, Miss Kezzy, but-"

"No, Miss Kezzy, no Miss Kezzya"jeez!" From a desk drawer she got a little bottle of something called Astro-Glide, and squirted it all over my hand. It was real silky and slippery. "Put your whole hand in," she ordered.

"Whuh-"

She twisted my ear again till I squealed. "Put it in!"

"You, you want me to fist you?" I whined. "Oh, I don"t know, Miss Kezzy. I"ve never done kinky stuff like that."

She stared at me, gaping. "Ann. Did you hear what you just said?"

I looked back at her, then got what she meant. "Wow. Kind of a dumb thing for me to say, huh? I mean, I"ve blown a dog, a chimp, and my father, sucked off over a hundred guys, chugged c.u.m, licked dirty b.u.t.ts and drank j.i.z.z in a cup of coffee. Compared to all that, I guess fisting is pretty low on the Richter scale of kinky stuff..."

"I should say so," and then she squeezed all my fingers together and pushed them into her. "Go on, now, just push your hand the rest of the way in. Don"t be timid."

I pushed, kind of wincing, then a" schluck! a" my hand was in to the wrist.

"Oooooo." She hissed. "Now...when I count to three, make a fist," and when she got to three I did, and she flinched, and her a.s.s came off the chair. "Yes! Yes! Oh, honey, that"s it!" She began to pant. "Now-now a"please! a"turn your first clockwise, then counter clockwise while moving your hand very gently back and forth..."

It was real tight, and I don"t know how it didn"t hurt.

"More, more," she panted. "A little tiny bit hardera"oh, and-and, Ann!" She touched her c.l.i.t with her fingertip. "Lick right here, right here while you"re doing it!"

Well, I did, and by now her c.l.i.t was, like, the size of an acorn she was so turned on. Between my hand in her and my tongue there, it only took another minute, then she got all tensed up, her back arched, and her head bent back over the back of the chair, then her p.u.s.s.y went into a throbbing fit and began to flood around my hand. d.a.m.n, she shrieked so loud when she came, you"d think someone f.u.c.kin" stabbed her.

She wound down in another minute, grinning at me between her legs like a fat cat. Then her v.a.g.i.n.a muscles got real tight and popped my hand out.

She sighed with her head still bent back over the chair. "Did you feel any snake up there, Ann?"

"No, Miss Kezzy. I guess it was a dream, and so was the ghost..."

She smoothed her hands over her b.o.o.bs and down her belly, still sighing. "Oh, Ann, that was so good," and then, then...

She moaned something to herself that sounded like, "Neb g"nurgln, eb shub soom"x, eeeeeeeeeeee-ahhhhhhhh..."

I stared right at her. "Those words... They sound just like..."

She ran her fingers through my hair. "Like what, Ann? Similar to words you"ve heard before? Hmmm?"

"Yeah." I gulped. "Every night, in the middle of the night, real low. But I thought, I thoughta"it was a dream too."

"It wasn"t, Ann. It"s a tape loop that plays automatically at certain times of the night. It"s subliminal. The words sink into your subconscious mind." She stroked my cheek. "They"re words from Al Azif." She finally sat back up in the chair and took a deep breath. "Well, that was very nice, Anna"thank you, but you"d best run along now and get to bed. You"ll need your rest."

I started to leave but turned around at the door. "Miss Kezzy? I want to know what those words mean."

She wasn"t looking at me when she answered. She was looking back at the book. "You"ll find out tomorrow night."

The next morning was kind of hilarious. My parents and Hannah"s parents were all so embarra.s.sed, their faces were pink at breakfast. They apologized over and over to Kezzy for getting so drunk last night.

"I"m so ashamed!" my mother said. "I hope I didn"t do anything silly!"

"There"s no excuse for me to have had so many wines," dad said to Kezzy. "I truly apologize," then he scribbled out a check, "but I hope this donation to Alpha House will, if only slightly, improve your opinion of us."

Hannah"s father wrote out a check, too. "Please don"t hold our irresponsibility against our daughters, Kezzy."

Kezzy took the checks without even looking at them. "That could never happen, sir, and don"t be too hard on yourselves for having a good time." Kezzy winked at me. "We all get a little wild on occasion."

When Zenas was getting the Rolls, my father pulled me aside into the living room.

"Ann. I don"t know what to say about my behavior last night." He squinted at me. "Did I get all p.i.s.sy-drunk?"

"Well, you and mom definitely threw a few back, but don"t worry about it."

He stood there shifting his feet, like he was uncomfortable. "I"m...sorry for the way I"ve treated you all these years. Sometimes the truth takes a while to hit home."

"What do you mean, dad?"

"Before breakfast, Kezzy told me that you were the finest pledge she"d ever encountered, that you"ve worked harder than any of them. That really made be pause to wonder." Now he was wringing his hands. "It doesn"t matter that you"ve had problems growing up; what does matter is that, regardless, a girl needs a father who"s encouraging, supportive, understanding, not just a big stick. I"ve been terribly derogatory, Ann a"not a father at all but a perfect a.s.shole. But what I want you to know... is that I"m proud of you."

I actually gulped.

"I"ve never said that before, have I?"

All I could do was shake my head.

"Forgive me, Ann," and thena"oh, f.u.c.k! a"the piece of s.h.i.t was wiping tears from his eyes!

"It"s all right, dad," I said.

"When will you know if you"re in?"

"Tomorrow."

"Kezzy told me that after all your hard work thus far, you"re guaranteed to be admitted. I couldn"t be happier for you. But, tell me, what sorts of things have you had to do in the way of pledge initiations?"

Dad, if you only knew. "Mostly just studying," I lied.

He looked so proud of me just then. He didn"t look like himself at all. "I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow, Ann. Your mother and I love you very much..."

What an uncomfortable scene. When the rest of the mushy goodbyes were done, Zenas drove them back to the airport.

It was really cool that Kezzy had told him all those great things about me, especially the part of about me being guaranteed to make it into Alpha House. There was only one more hazing left, and I wasn"t even worried about it.

But, you know? I was worried about something.

Kezzy gave us the afternoon off, told us we could do anything we wanted. We weren"t leaving till five. After a f.u.c.kin" unflavored-yogurt lunch, I went outside "cos Hannah said she"d meet me there in a while. It was a beautiful day, sun shining, warm, birds chirping. The fountains were gushing. I sat at the gazebo just to kind of clear my head. The way I was sitting, I had my back to the house.

"Hi, Ann," an upbeat girl"s voice said behind me, but when I started to turn to see who it was, she said, "Don"t turn around! You can"t see me a" otherwise, this won"t work..."

I froze in the chair. My stomach started knotting up.

"You recognize my voice, don"t you?"

I sure did. "Mmmm...Mercy."

"Yeah. It"s good to see you, Ann."

Birds chirped through a long pause. "We, uh, we heard you were dead. It was on the news," I whispered.

"Oh, yeah. I am dead. The night I left, I got killed when the cab crashed. None of that matters, though."

I gulped. It sounded like she really was right behind me. "How can getting killed not matter?"

Birds kept chirping. "When I died, I went to Heaven, Ann. That"s all that matters. G.o.d"s all that matters."

I was scared s.h.i.tless. Was there really a dead person standing behind me?

"You could go to Heaven someday, too, Ann...but not if you join Alpha House."

Part of me really wanted to turn around, to prove to myself that I was either hearing things or Kezzy was there somehow imitating Mercy"s voice. But then another part of me was too scared, because what if I really did see Mercy?

The gazebo was made of all dark-stained wood that had been varnished and was real shiny. In one of the wooden rails in front of me, I could see, or thought I could see, a reflection of a person. It was warped and went off to one side like one of those mirrors at a carnival, but the reflection was thin, kind of flesh-colored, and human-shaped. It looked like a nude girl...

"Mercy...are you...naked?"

"Of course! There are no clothes in Heaven because there"s no l.u.s.t and no shame. All we wear is the natural beauty that G.o.d gave us."

I squinted at the reflection. Yes, a skinny girl with dark hair and...

There was a big dark clump between the girl"s legs, like a huge amount of pubic hair. I guess they don"t have Lady Remingtons in Heaven. "Are you really here, Mercy, or am I imagining this?"

"Oh, I"m really here, Ann, but I can"t stay long." It was the same high-pitched, bubbly voice she always had. "I came here to tell you something. I came here to tell you that Alpha House is evil. It"s an insult to G.o.d. He even told me that himself. He said that Alpha House is an umbrage."

"He? You mean G.o.d told you that?"

"Yes! I talked to him today. He"s great. But you"ll never get to meet Him unless you leave. Ann, so far you"ve pa.s.sed every initiation by the power of your own free will. Now you have to use that same free will to walk out. Will you do that?"

I stared at the reflection. "I...I don"t think so..."

The reflection moved, got closer, and then I felt a hand touch my shoulder. "Leave Alpha House. Take Hannah and leave Alpha House before tonight..."

I turned around and, of course, no one was there.

f.u.c.k, I thought. I didn"t need this headache. Was I cracking up? Next thing I knew, Hannah was coming across the backyard. She sat down across from me in the gazebo. "Ann. You look like you"ve been doing "shrooms or acid or something."

I was still staring so I snapped myself out of it. "I sort of feel like that, like a bad trip all of a sudden."

Hannah clasped her hands together, looking concerned. "You"re worried, I know, just like me. We"re so close..."

Yeah. But now I was wondering exactly what we were getting so close to. I didn"t say anything about Mercy a"s.h.i.t, what could I say? I was pretty sure I didn"t believe it. And last night? Oh, Hannah, last night when I was FISTING Kezzy, she said some really weird stuff that"s been making me wonder? No, I couldn"t say that. All I said was this: "Hannah, I"ve been thinking."

"Me, too. Like, what will we have to do for our last initiation?"

It was on my mind, sure, but that"s not what bothered me most. "Hannah, do you hear...weird words at night sometimes? Like, when you"re asleep and you might wake up for a second?"

She shook her head. "No, but I"ve always been a heavy sleeper."

I couldn"t press it if she hadn"t heard it herself; it would just make me sound nuttier. But now it struck me that those weird words on the tape loop Kezzy admitted to playing sounded... well, they sounded kind of satanic. That"s what I"d been thinking. Like maybe that"s what Alpha House was really all about, some sort of witch-coven or satanic cult. First, there was Kezzy pitching a fit over Mercy"s cross, and then the whole virgin thing. Maybe Corwan or Curwen or even both of them had hidden a devil-worshiping cult in the sorority, that they"d deliberately made it a rule that only virgins could get in. I didn"t believe in s.h.i.t like that buta"f.u.c.ka"what was I supposed to think? Maybe the words on the tape loop were some sort of spell or incantation, and that book of translations Kezzy was reading out of all the time.... Maybe it was some kind of satanic bible.

Maybe we were being set up.

Hannah looked fretful. "What do you think the final initiation will be?"

My voice sounded like sandpaper. "I think we"ll be losing our virginity," I said, but then I thought, Either that, or Kezzy"s gonna sacrifice us...

We left in the Rolls about 7 p.m. Wasn"t a lot of talking at first. Kezzy fussed with her hair and lipstick while me and Hannah sat holding hands in the back seat, kind of shaking like we had a chill, only it was eighty degrees. After an hour on the road, I asked, "Miss Kezzy? Where are we going tonight?"

"A little north of Providence. It should take about two more hours to get there." She looked back and grinned. "We"re going to a farm."

Hannah"s jaw locked open, but I groaned, "I should"ve known. Farm animals..."

Kezzy laughed. "I thought that would get some life out of you. But, no, girls, you won"t be required to engage in any s.e.xual contact with farm animals a" "

"Thank G.o.d!" Hannah exclaimed.

"You see, this farm has been abandoned for decades. There"re no cows or pigs or chickens anymore. In fact, the original farmhouse is no longer standing. It burned down in 1771."

"Then...why are we going there?" I asked.

"It"s of historical significance a"the property, I should say. It was once owned by a very successful merchant named Joseph Curwena"who, incidentally, died the same night the farmhouse burned down. You girls already know who that is, don"t you a" Hannah?"

Kezzy knew I knew. She glared at Hannah, who stammered a minute, then said, "Oh, yeah! He"s the guy who founded the college."

"Good. Since Pledge Week is winding down now, and since I have every confidence that both of you ladies will be inducted into Alpha House tomorrow, I think that now is the time for me to be a bit more forthright with critical information. You may find it difficult to believe or you may not but either way it scarcely matters." She got something out of her purse. "Ann, you"re clearly the more observant pledge. Let me show you something. Look at it, then tell me what you think," and then she handed me her key-ring, and said, "Examine that, please." "Just a bunch of f.u.c.kin" keys, Miss Kezzy," I said.

Her voice rose. "Well then f.u.c.kin" examine it with more scrutiny."

Then I saw what she meant. One of the things on the ring wasn"t a key. It was a rectangular piece of metal about two inches long. It looked old. "This thing here...it looks like..."