"That"s so strange. She"d done so well thus far."

"She"s a sheltered Christian virgin, Miss Kezzy," I all but yelled. "You can only make a person like that lick so many dirty b.u.t.ts and blow so many dogs, b.u.ms, and s.h.i.tty old men before they just lose it. What did you think? She couldn"t hack it."

Kezzy smirked. "It"s all for the best in that case. We don"t want girls who can"t hack it."

"No, I guess you don"t."

"Ann, really. You seem to be directing your angst at me. I didn"t make her do anything, nor have I made you or Hannah do anything. You seem to think that this is just some grotesque game a" "

"Well it is, isn"t it? Making girls blow dogs?"

She rolled her eyes. "There you go again. You"ve made yourselves do it, simply by choosing to, and by choosing to, you demonstrate the necessary a" "

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Fort.i.tude. Resolve and all that."

"Um-hmm. Mercy couldn"t hack it...but I very much hope that you can."

"Oh, I"ll hack it, all right, Miss Kezzy," and I knew then, for sure, that I would. Just to spite her, I"d do everything she ordered, no matter how gross. I would show the b.i.t.c.h.

"And what was all that about at the gazebo tonight?"

She peered at me. "The gaz a""

"Come on, Miss Kezzy, you know what I"m talking about. You and Zenas, the candle, the book? The j.i.z.z party? The Let"s See How Many Times We Can Get Zenas To Come In Ann"s Face Party?"

She laughed but actually seemed surprised. "Ann, I haven"t a clue what you"re talking about."

"So you weren"t at the gazebo earlier, with Zenas?"

"Of course not. I went to bed at nine o"clock," and then her eyes narrowed. "Ann. Are you taking drugs? Alpha House does not take druggies."

"I don"t take drugs, jeez."

"Then it appears you"ve been having some potent s.e.xual fantasiesa"dreams, Ann."

I stared at her. A dream? No, no, it couldn"t have been, but when I brought my hands to my face, it was clean. There wasn"t a trace of Zenas"s load, and I couldn"t smell it, either.

"Go to bed, Ann. You"ve had a trying day. Goodnight."

"G-goodnight, Miss Kezzy."

I watched her go back upstairs, her perfect little Barbie Doll body kind of sashaying in that skimpy nightie.

So - s.h.i.t - I guess it really WAS a dream...

There"d been harder things to believe in my life, or maybe I just believed it because I needed to. The f.u.c.ked up thing was, the next day? Me and Hannah were watching the news on TV after our pretzel-rod breakfast and that"s when we learned that the night before, a taxi cab lost control on the main road, crashed, and burst into flames, killing the driver, a local man named William Hurley, as well as Dunwich Women"s College freshman Mercy Dexter.

Next day was the fourth day. Kezzy put us in the car at about 10 and Zenas drove us out on more of those winding back roads. No one talked much about Mercy getting killed. All Kezzy said was "What a terrible accident," but you know, when she said that, she looked over at Zenas for a second and I swear the guy smiled. Or, well, maybe he really didn"t smile, maybe I just thought he did "cos I was getting paranoid. When you swallow as much c.u.m as I did over those few days, anyone would be paranoid. Plus, I was still a little bugged about the whole "dream" thing the night before in the backyard.

s.h.i.t.

Anyway, you"re probably wondering. What did Kezzy have up her sleeve for us today? Let"s see, we"d already been Old Manning, Kenneling, and b.u.mming. What was next?

"Today, ladies," Kezzy said, fussing with her lipstick in the visor mirror, "we"re going Rednecking..."

Great. She was gonna make us blow a couple of rednecks, but when Zenas pulled the Rolls up at that dingy tavern I got the message fast that it would probably be more than a "couple."

The dive was called KRAZY WHIPPLE"S TAVERN. It wasn"t even f.u.c.kin" 11 in the morning and the parking lot was full of redneck pickup trucks. I really hate rednecks, by the way, "The happy-hour crowd," Kezzy said. "Perfect."

When me, Hannah, and Kezzy walked in, I thought Holy motherf.u.c.king s.h.i.t. The place was packed with the mangiest rednecks I"ve ever seen. I mean, these guys made the big dude in Deliverance look like Liberace. When we walked in, the place got quiet; everyone turned to look at us. Then someone cracked, "Hot d.a.m.n! Looks like it"s Pledge Week at Alpha House!" and then the joint broke into an uproar.

Hannah just stared at them all, but I grabbed Kezzy"s arm. "Miss Kezzy? It looks like there"s fifty or sixty dudes in this place. How many do we have to blow?"

"Why, all of them, Ann..."

The place knew the drill. A couple of rednecks pulled two chairs against the wall, then, "Clothes off, girls."

Awwwww, f.u.c.k, I thought.

"In front of everybody?" Hannah whined.

We heard a lot of "fattie" jokes, and a couple of those yokels were making moo-cow noises while looking right at me.

"Line up, guys, juss like last yeer!" one redneck blared, and then every f.u.c.kin" guy in the bar broke off and formed two lines, one at each chair.

It was bad enough standing there naked with everybody laughing at us and pointing, but it was even worse when Kezzy said, "Have a seat, ladies. And...what"s the Alpha House Pledge Credo?"

"Suck and swallow," I croaked, then I looked at Hannah. "Come on. Let"s get started. This might take a while."

Hannah hadn"t even sat all the way down before some rube with Elvis hair had his d.i.c.k in her mouth. But when I sat down a"

CRACK!.

a" the chair broke.

See what I mean about my Karma? When that happened, the place was roaring laughter. Some of these guys were crying they were laughing so hard. Then some other "neck slid over a bigger chair, sat me down in it, and stuck his d.i.c.k right in my mouth. And just my lucka"the guy had a foreskin full of d.i.c.k-cheese, but I just thought, f.u.c.k it, and started sucking.

It was madness. It was pandemonium. The uproar was so loud I couldn"t hear myself think a"sounded like the f.u.c.kin" Super Bowl. After sucking off four or five guys, I looked around and saw that my line was longer than Hannah"s. Figures. Suck and swallow, suck and swallow, I kept repeating to myself, and one after another, the hard d.i.c.ks stepped up and sunk in my chops. Lot of them stunk a"of course! a"and some had day-old p.u.s.s.y-stink on them, or dried c.u.m-tracks in their pubic hair. One guy reached down and started flapping my t.i.ts while I was doing him, and that got even bigger laughs. "Wal, wud"jew lookit thet! Pigs reely dew have wings!" Another kick in the a.s.s was that some of these crackers had their seedy girlfriends with them, and these chicks pitched a big fit about their boyfriends getting b.l.o.w.j.o.bs from another girl, but when Kezzy a" correction, f.u.c.kin" Kezzy a" put $50 bills in their hands, they calmed down fast. Thanks a lot, Kezzy.

One of my guys howled, "Heeeer comes lunch, lard-a.s.s!" when he came, then another guy went, "Cha-ching!" and fired a whopper down my throat. Then this other guy who looked like Jethro on the Beverly Hillbillies whips his out in my face and, I swear, he had two pee-holes on his k.n.o.b, and then there was another guy who I"m pretty sure had three b.a.l.l.s.

Big d.i.c.k, little d.i.c.ks, bent d.i.c.ks, sway-back d.i.c.ksa"every motherf.u.c.kin" kind of d.i.c.k went in my mouth and blew its load. But I did like I"d been doing, I kept my mind blank and just did it, thinking, Suck and swallow, suck and swallow...

A lotta my guys were coming real fast, like ten, fifteen seconds, like that. One guy who looked like that guy who was president a long time ago, Clinton, I swear, all I had to give him was one suck down and he came. Couldn"t figure it, because it looked to me like Hannah was taking a lot longer to get her guys off. When two hayseed twin brothers put their d.i.c.ks in my mouth at the same time, five seconds later they were both coming at the same time. And I got a lot of pats on the head, too, and one guy, after lasting, like, ten seconds, even said, "Thet theer was the best blow I evuh had"n my life!" I had to ask myself, why are my guys shooting their loads so much faster, and the only answer I could think of was, Well I guess that means I give better head.

How do you like that? I finally found something I do good... or well...or however the f.u.c.k you"re supposed to say it.

At one point a county sheriff walked in and the place got quiet. I thought, Thank G.o.d! We"re saved! but then the "necks all started honking again when the cop cut in the line, pulled his d.i.c.k out, and said, ""Scuse me, boys. Police privilege." Naturally he picked my line to cut.

s.h.i.t, I don"t know. It took maybe three hours to do every guy in the place. But just when I thought we were done, what happens?

There"s this rumbling sound from outside, and it was so loud that the floor was shaking. Me and Hannah just sat there, our fat-rolls jiggling from the rumbling. "What is it, Ann!" she shrieked. "An earthquake?"

"Worse, " I said. "Motorcycles..."

Then in walk twenty more f.u.c.kin" guys. They were all big fat ZZ Top-looking b.a.s.t.a.r.ds in leather jackets, chains, boots, beards. They busted their guts when they took at look at me and Hannah. Then they started lining up.

"Miss Kezzy?" I pleaded. "We just did the whole room. Do we have to blow these guys, too?"

She traipsed over, her perfect braless t.i.ts swinging in a red-silk halter. She leaned over and brought her face an inch from mine. "Are you looking for the easy way out, Ann? Alpha House girls always go the extra mile, don"t they?" Then she grabbed a big pinch of my cheek. "So if you"d like to be an Alpha House sister...you will suck, and you will swallow..."

Hannah was crying outright and I was close to that too. "We have to do it, Hannah," I babbled. "We have to..."

And we did.

One of the bikers had shaved all his d.i.c.k haira"even his b.a.l.l.s! a"and there was one really psycho-looking dude wearing a n.a.z.i helmet, and when he pulled his c.o.c.k out, he had a swastika tattooed on the k.n.o.b. Then another guy had a bunch of asterisks tattooed on his shaft, so I ask, "What"s with the asterisks, man?" and he says, "One fer every b.i.t.c.h I kilt."

Great.

One of "em even slipped me a twenty. "You blow peter better"n my old lady," he told me and, f.u.c.k, I guess I really did give great head. But I just kept sucking every d.i.c.k that got put in my face, and after a while, some of the d.i.c.ks and sacks started to look familiar. Here was Mr. Cheese again, and then came Jethro with the two p.i.s.s-slits, then Three b.a.l.l.s. Holy s.h.i.t! I thought. Some of these sc.u.mbags are coming back for SECONDS! But just when the guys left were literally "petering out," I see several of "em on their cellphones. "d.i.c.kie, this is Micky-Mike! Get on down ta Whipple"s! Got a pair of fat head-queens blowing every fella in the bar!" and this other s.h.i.t-head who looks like Willie Nelson jams his d.i.c.k in my mouth and he"s yammering in his cell. "Shee-it, Travis! It"s Alpha House Pledge Week. Come on down"n bring the crew."

My G.o.d. They were calling their friends...

Just didn"t seem right but I knew what Kezzy would say if I begged, and sure enough, the place started to fill up again. But by now, me and Hannah were filling up, too, and I started to wonder if a person could actually die from sperm poisoning. My stomach was so bloated, I felt like I"d just finished Thanksgiving Dinner, but this wasn"t turkey. This was c.u.m...

Finally, Kezzy came over with her typical evil grin and said, "All right, ladies. That"s enough for now."

Me and Hannah were probably both r.e.t.a.r.ded by then. When I got out of my chair to get my clothes, all that c.u.m in my stomach kind of swayed, so I lost my footing and fell down. More laughter, more hee-hawing. The naked fat girl fell, har, har, har.

Kezzy helped me up. "Do be careful, Ann. Oh, and now that your work is over for the time being, I suspect that both of you have a certain burden you"d like to get shed of?"

"Does she mean we can throw up now?" Hannah whispered to me.

"That"s correct, Hannah." Kezzy pointed. "The ladies room is down there."

We barreled for the door, banged into it. I got to the toilet first, and all it took was one little push with my finger against the bottom of my tongue, then all that c.u.m started to urp up. It took six heaves to get it all out, and since I"d had so little in my stomach to begin with, it tasted like pure sperm coming back out.

"Hurry!" Hannah squealed, and then she did the same. When I looked down into the toilet, I could see that we"d raised the water level by a couple of inches. Half of the c.u.m floated and half of it sunk. It looked like a f.u.c.kin" jellyfish sitting in the bowl.

"That"s so much better," I moaned.

"I"ll say."

We took turns washing our mouths out, but before we could leave, some drunk chick with a Metallica T-shirt, lopsided t.i.ts, and zits all over her face comes in and shoves me against the wall.

"Listen, you two disgusting cows!" she yelled. "You can"t just waltz in our bar from your fancy college and blow our boyfriends!"

"Sure we can, Dot Face. In fact, we just did," I said but I saw Hannah standing behind her and motioning me. She was swinging the stall door back and forth.

"We"re fightin"," the tramp slurred. "And I"m kickin" both your fat a.s.ses."

She took a swing but was so drunk she missed completely. I grabbed her ratty hair, pulled her head halfway into the stall and a"

WHACK!.

Hannah slammed the door right on her head. It was beautiful. Thought her eyeb.a.l.l.s would pop out Hannah slammed that door so hard. She flopped to the floor, out cold.

"Come on, help me!" I said.

I grabbed one leg and Hannah grabbed the other, and then we dunked her head into the c.u.m-filled toilet. We just kept dunking and I was laughing. After a couple more dunksa"

"Ann?"

Another dunk.

"Ann!"

"What?" I snapped.

"Shouldn"t, uh, shouldn"t we stop?"

I smirked at her after another dunk. The chick was gurgling. "Stop? Why?"

"Well, she could, like, drown, couldn"t she?"

I slowed up on the dunking. "Well, I guess you"re right. I guess even a s.h.i.tty, dirty, drunk redneck b.i.t.c.h doesn"t deserve to die..."

We left her on the floor and split, so I guess that was my good deed for the day. But now that I think of it, if we had drowned her in the c.u.m, then would that"ve really been a bad thing? Rednecks are like lawyers: n.o.body gives a s.h.i.t when you kill one.

I thought that was it and now we could get out of there. Hannah pushed through the crowd ahead of me but, wouldn"t you know it? I"m not two steps out of the bathroom when another chick is in my face. It"s this s.k.a.n.ky redneck "ho with skull tattoos and Black Velvet breath. Christ, where did this trash come from? She walked right up and jabbed her finger in my face, and said, "You"re a fat pig! You"re so fat"n ugly, there oughta be a law against you!"

I bit her finger so hard I think my teeth broke the joint, then I grabbed some rube"s empty Ice House bottle and conked her right in the noggin. She fell over out cold laying on the peanut-sh.e.l.l-covered floor with her scrawny legs spread, wearing these s.h.i.tty, dirty flipflops and I could see the b.i.t.c.h even had skull tattoos on her f.u.c.king feet. Don"t know what came over me then, but I just hauled back and kicked her in the c.u.n.t like it was a soccer ball. "With any luck, I busted your f.u.c.kin" ovaries, did the tax-payers a big favor." The "necks who were left all burst out laughinga"

But that"s when Hannah started to scream.

The Elvis-looking guy had her down on the floor and was crawling on top of her with his pants down. "Had me enough b.l.o.w.j.o.bs today, ee-yuh-suh. Now I think I"ll slop me up some fat p.u.s.s.y."

He p.r.o.nounced "p.u.s.s.y" as puss-ahhhhhh.

Jesus Christ, the guy was about to rape Hannah on the floor and you know what all the people around her did? They formed a circle and started cheering. Well f.u.c.k this, I thought and I grabbed a cue-stick. If that a.s.shole popped her hymen, then Hannah"d be kicked out. "You ain"t sloppin" up nothin"," I said, and a"

CRACK!.

a" I busted that stick right across his back. When he rolled off her a"yowlinga"I rammed my heel down on his solar plexus, then a"

POP!.