Gomen ne, Oniisama Chapter 3 part 2

The Villain’s Exhaustion, and the Man Who Offered His Hand

When I dismissed the idea that I was abandoned,【I】was relieved.

The process that I was longing for, is occurring in front of my eyes in reality, not a story.
With blood that seems strangely real, and the smell of burning.

―I can’t afford to die in a place like this.

―Dying here has no value.
―This is already the end.

While various thoughts pa.s.sed through my mind, I robotically continued to destroy magic sealing stones.

I don’t remember how many people I burned in the process, and my memory of the process is rather blurry.

I can just burn anything that approaches me.

But while avoiding attacks by soldiers holding them, in the end I was forced to fight seriously.

I continued to lose blood and my consciousness faded, and performing advanced magic became more difficult as my magic power bottomed out.

Ignoring the reason that I desire survival.

While I continued this way, mechanically reacting, someone jumped out in front of me.

They called me, grabbed my hand, and then I finally realized it was an ally.

“Origa!”

The voice I hear startles me- oh, this is a dream.

I called the one with black hair with a hoa.r.s.e voice, and his stiff face relaxed a little.

“Hey, show me your arm. You haven’t burned the wound closed yet?”

His face distorts with anxiety as he grabs my arm, wearing a navy military uniform.

I have to report since he’s wearing a commander’s uniform. I try to speak.

Things like that aren’t valid excuses, a voice reproaches in my head.
Because, the magicians he entrusted, the magicians who trusted me, I

“….couldn’t protect”

I should have protected them.

I thought his fingers would get dirty, but it’s probably fine since this is a dream, so I didn’t say it.

While I gazed vaguely at his eyes with my vision blurred, I quietly whispered in a voice as low as I could make it.

“You’ve already retreated.”

As I speak, the ivy crawls around the ground with Atlas at the fulcrum.

Indeed, I feel like it was only used a single time for this in the story.

Within my shaking line of sight, is a happy vision.

What a happy dream this is.

As if I were-

“Why, here?”
“I came to rescue you. The others are creating a diversion… oh, that large flame over there.”

Atlas pointed towards the roar of flame rising for just a moment far away in the forest, and I turned my gaze sluggishly towards it.

And, all at once I woke up to the bright color of the flames.

―So, this is reality?

I thrust away Atlas with a slight feeling of guilt and responsibility towards him, and take some distance with what little strength I have left.
In front of him, who stares at me with surprise visible in his wide eyes, I spoke.

“Lies.”

There’s no reason for help to be here.

Since the fort was recaptured. Since the magicians all died. Since I sent the last rescue signal.
My head works slowly, and I push the senseless jumble of emotions and words from my mouth.

“Sent a rescue signal… but, Harvester-sama, ….abandoned..”
“Hey, Origa?”

What am I saying? And Atlas is reaching out to me with his hands.

In my head【I】am calm and looking for the enemy, whispering, and【Origa】burning with anger is shouting that she’ll burn everything.

“The fort!”

My voice, trembles.

In truth, I want to immerse myself in this dream.
But.

“I know that the fort was recaptured! But, how many days have pa.s.sed since then? Even though we were so close by, not Harvester-sama, n.o.body came to help!”

One person, and then another, pierced through by a sword, and killed.

Nevertheless, they continued to die, smiling while dying in pain, believing help will come soon, burned into my mind forever.

We risked danger to send the signal to request aid into the sky many times.

It seemed, that I was watching【my】end.

“Origa,”
“Don’t touch me.”

At the recaptured fort, an unfamiliar knight order and Harvester-sama’s flags have been raised.

If there were only knights in that fort, his majesty would be forced to wave his hands helplessly. But, if Harvester-sama’s flag is also raised, magicians are also there.

Why is something like this permitted, even if it’s the way it was written in the story?

I am a villain.

There are countless sacrifices in the background of the story. However, they do not appear in the eyes of the heroes.

A villain standing by the hero, what kind of story led to this?

What might he be thinking, standing here?

“What do you intend to do? For this person whom you abandoned, what use do you have?”

In the end I, Origa, an abominable magician will only be a problem in the times to come.

Ignoring everything【Origa】has done so far to protect this country.

Acting like【Origa】is the one who carries all the sins.

The tendency to create the【Princess of the Inferno】- in the middle of killing me off, is justice pretending to reach me?¹

“Answer me. If you don’t intend to answer-“

Depending on his answer, I might burn him to death.

I may not have enough mana to kill him in one shot, but it doesn’t matter.

Because, I can’t afford to die in a place like this.

But, Atlas’s low voice doused my spirit with cold water.

“My father, died when the fort fell.”
“….lies.”

It seemed as if he struggled to force each word out, watching me with a stiff gaze. He spoke, with no eloquence in his serious words, that it wasn’t a joke.
My concentration collapsed, the magic I was forming falling apart.

“Something, like that,”

Impossible.

That’s why, I wasn’t concerned at all about leaving Harvester-sama at the fort.

The protagonists will face many hardships, but will succeed in the end, that kind of story.
It should be a story of such a righteous path.

But, I distorted the story.

This influence, did it cause my deployment to become so insane?
Since what time were the gears of this world so twisted?

―For the answer, since when did I turn my eyes away?

Although Atlas’s hand once again takes my arm as I stand dumbfounded, this time I don’t have the energy to ward him off.
He lightly grasped my left arm with his right, and spoke quietly to me.

“….Press it. Although this will only serve as first aid, it’ll close your wound for the time being.”

Slowly, the healing magic soaked into my arm, mending the wound from which blood continued to flow.

There’s no need to waste magic on something like this.
Even though I tried to say thus, the words didn’t come out from my hazy mind.

“My father”

Perhaps, the magic Atlas used also had a sedative effect.
My emotions that refused to listen to his quiet words, gradually calmed down.

“I’m sure, was worried about you until the end.”

If it was Harvester-sama, definitely.

Larger than Atlas’s, and warmer.
The face behind the hand is always smiling.

“There are a lot of people that would prefer if you didn’t return. ….But, I’ve made a promise to bring you back to the guy who is praying for you to return.”

Who on earth are you talking about?

Who on earth, would pray for me?

“Let’s go back, Origa.”²

My thoughts are jumbled. I have no ideas. I don’t know what I should choose.

Watching, as my blood slowly stained Atlas’s dark blue uniform.