The sudden return of my memories exhausted me . Yin Li therefore changed our itinerary so that we skipped the Cancun and Caribbean parts of our trip .

Sitting in the Mexico City airport, all I could think of was a shabby, old house . I’d lived there until I turned twelve . The desire to go to that old house pressed urgently down on my mind . I had the feeling that that place contained some memories I hadn’t recovered yet, but were somehow very important .  

“I’ve already ordered people to investigate . We’ve already narrowed it down to approximately a hundred or so orphanages . No need to worry, we’ll find it . ” Yin Li comforted me, patting my head . “We still have an hour before boarding . I’ll go and buy a cup of coffee and get you some chocolate milk . ”

I nodded at him, but he had already left . Out of boredom, I wandered out of the waiting area and into the duty-free shops to browse around . When I happened to glance back, I was shocked speechless .

Yin Li carried a steaming cup in each hand . His expression was as cold as ice as he stood at the entrance of Starbucks . Facing him on the other side, with an ashen face, was Li Jing .

“Yin Li, you lowly b.a.s.t.a.r.d!” Li Jing said, gritting his teeth . Perhaps because we were in Mexico, he didn’t care whether anyone understood Chinese . He didn’t lower his voice in the slightest .

The pa.s.sing Mexicans looked curiously at these two tall Asian men confronting each other, the mutual hostility between them palpable .

Yin Li wasn’t angered by Li Jing’s att.i.tude . He merely smiled . “I never said I was high and mighty in the first place . ”

“To think I believed you!” Li Jing was unsatisfied with Yin Li’s att.i.tude . “What was it exactly that we had agreed to?! Back then, Yi Yun wanted to have some peace and quiet alone . That’s why she left France by herself . I’d wanted to chase after her, but she didn’t want to see me . So I just quietly protected her . But then, my father suddenly pa.s.sed away, which of course was a major blow to me . And what did you do during this time? It was you who helped my ‘little brothers’ .   You gave them free advice on how to hinder me, helping them contest my father’s will and cause trouble . Other than having to take care of those illegitimate b.a.s.t.a.r.ds, I also had to comfort my shocked and angered mother . At that time, you took the initiative to contact me . You offered, in exchange for me not immediately reporting Yin Xuan to the authorities, you wouldn’t appear by Yi Yun’s side while I was busy!

“You said the deal was I’d give Yin Xuan some leeway . After then I finished sorting out my business in France, we could fairly begin to chase Yi Yun from the same starting line!”

Yin Li gave Li Jing a calm look . “You can chase after her right now if you want . We aren’t married yet . ”

“What sort of a joke is this? You’ve broken the agreement . Not only did you create a huge mess to keep me occupied, you also took advantage of my absence to appear by Yi Yun’s side . This half year, she’s gone through so much and struggled so much . Yet I could only hear about them secondhand from others . When she needed me the most, you separated me from her . Not to mention this . I rushed over after the press conference only to find that you had already brought her to Mexico . You used all sorts of methods to prevent me from contacting her!

“You aren’t a gentleman at all! You aren’t worthy of her!”

Yin Li didn’t notice I was present . His att.i.tude when confronting Li Jing could even be called arrogant . “When it comes to love, I was never a gentleman . But you don’t seem to qualify as one either . It’s a pity you didn’t guess the place wrong . ” He meant Yin Xuan’s matter . Li Jing shot him another glance and grew quiet .

“How is Yi Yun? I want to see her . ”

Yin Li smiled . “Her memories are slowly coming back . ”

Li Jing revealed a happy expression, but Yin Li continued . “But have you ever even understood her? Clearly, her time with you didn’t amount to much . She doesn’t even like ballet . ”

“You don’t even know her past, or how she lived with only the despair she knew as ballet . Even such that she would’ve preferred death . But you, and her mother, and everyone else, subconsciously, all of you only loved the her who danced ballet so dazzlingly . ” Yin Li gazed at Li Jing . “To be frank, perhaps it was you all who imperceptibly pushed her to the edge .

“That’s probably why she rejected you . I eagerly look forward to what her att.i.tude towards you will be like when she fully recovers her memories . ” Yin Li continued on, calmly and quietly leaving Li Jing not a single drop of mercy .

Li Jing revealed an incredulous and wounded expression . It was obviously a big blow to him, and unexpectedly he couldn’t even form a response .

I suddenly felt like I couldn’t continue watching . Neither Yin Li nor Li Jing had noticed me, so I turned and left .

Not too long later, Yin Li returned . He pa.s.sed over the chocolate milk . Because of that conversation, the piping hot beverage had already cooled to a suitable temperature . I took a gulp, feeling the richness and sweetness in my mouth .

In the end, I didn’t ask Yin Li anything . He had deceived Li Jing . He knew the real reason why I had turned Li Jing down .

In the end, Li Jing didn’t make an appearance, but indeed, Yin Li didn’t have any obligation to announce his presence .

As the plane took off, I watched as Mexico slowly departed from my line of sight . My head was filled with a jumble of memories .

In the messy courtyard was bizarrely-shaped clocktower, painted an ugly saffron yellow . There were many children, each wearing old clothes of varied colors . In the bitter cold of winter, they lined up for their meal .

Three days later, Yin Li brought me to the same exact place as in my memories . And I was shocked .

It was even more desolate than in my memories . This was a church’s orphanage . They were equipped with all the necessary facilities, but because too many children had been taken in, it appeared overcrowded and stretched thin . The caretakers for the children were also obviously in short supply .

“I remember this place . If you go past that building, there’s a small dorm that is a renovated old warehouse . ” My voice began to tremble . The frighteningly familiar feeling caused me to shake in fear . It wasn’t that cold, but I could clearly hear my teeth chattering .

I resisted giving in to the feeling of discomfort . I lead Yin Li forwards . As I walked, bits and pieces of the past began to resurface . My chest hurt and I felt like I couldn’t breathe .

“Come, let’s walk towards that gra.s.sy area to loosen up . There’s no rush to remember . ” Yin Li patted my back . I turned my head and saw that the gra.s.sy area he was pointing toward was adjacent to a large, concrete plaza .

Upon seeing that, my face turned white .  

To think this place hasn’t changed one bit . It felt like I was transported back through time to when I was twelve . One morning, the old nuns had gathered together all the children who were between five and ten years of age .

Someone had come to adopt .

I remember that all the children had excitedly tidied up their appearances as much as they could, in hopes that it might improve their chances .

“Five to ten year olds, line up and let’s go . ” The old nun was holding the hand of a child, her most favored child . She held their hand in a futile attempt to increase their chances of adoption .

I peered into the mirror in the hall, and saw my indistinct reflection . I looked thin and weak . My skin was an unhealthy sallow, my hair was thin and scraggly, and I didn’t look like I was already twelve . Girls, by nature, were less well-received by those looking to adopt . Not to mention my unappealing appearance . The parents looking to adopt came by, one by one . Every time, I looked at them with the most hopeful gaze . However, my prayers were never heard . Their gazes always flitted past me before resting on another child . Year after year, I watch my playmates leave happily .  

They waved to me, saying, “You have to work hard to be adopted!” Then they would bid me goodbye . “Farewell, I’m about to start a new life and will never come back here again . ”

However, I was already twelve and had pa.s.sed the most optimal period to be adopted . Everyone preferred adopting younger children . They felt that they could not become as intimate with the older children .

“I was always hungry, and every day, I could never eat my fill . All the meals were rationed . Everyone starved . The older children would secretly steal others’ rations to eat . I was too thin, and my food was often stolen . ” I sat on the ground, painfully recalling the past . It was strange . I had tried so hard to forget these unbearable memories after I had gone to France . I didn’t want anyone to know that the girl who now danced ballet had once lived such a disgraceful life . But at that moment, when I looked into Yin Li’s eyes, I wanted to tell him .

“I knew I had pretty much run out of chances . But I didn’t want to live my life at the orphanage . I hated the place . ” Yin Li’s hand gripped mine tighter, as if he was trying to transfer his strength to me . “So, I mixed in with the five to ten year olds . I was thin and ugly . The old nuns didn’t really like me, and at first they hadn’t even discovered that I had snuck into the group . ”

“To make myself more presentable, every time we lined up I would pinch my face before going out to bring some color into my cheeks . Or I would pinch harder, until my face swelled, so that I would look chubby and likable . ” I mockingly pinched my cheeks, as if I could still remember the feeling of incessant pain, of continuing to pinch even while tears rolled down my cheeks .

“Sometimes, I felt like I was a commodity waiting for the highest bidder . But because of my poor appearance, I was still sitting on the shelf . I was scared . I was scared that I had perhaps already pa.s.sed the expiration date and could only be thrown away . ”

I rested my head against Yin Li’s shoulder . Even today, just thinking of these old memories, I felt pained . And this wasn’t even the whole of it .