>When he sighed as he can’t keep up, Kisumi came around to where Haruka was.
“Haru, won’t you sing?”
“We’re on the train.”
Kisumi giggles at Haruka’s response.
“It must be nice for Asahi, huh?”
Thinking that he misheard him, he looks at Kisumi’s face. Lightly combing up his silky hair, his eyes were turned towards Asahi.
“He’s free, straightforward, and always cheerful. Really, he has a lot of things I don’t. Cuz me, I’m always just trying to look good. So you see, that’s why…… I end up admiring the natural Asahi a little.”
Haruka shifted his gaze to the singing Asahi. He wonders if he has an aspect like that, too.
“Kisumi-kun, come over here.”
It’s the girls in their cla.s.s. It looks like they don’t have any interest at all in cheering for the swim club, perhaps Kisumi had invited them or something. As proof of that, Kisumi is obediently pulled by the hand and taken away. Turning back to Haruka while being taken away, he said “later” and showed the whites of his teeth.
Perhaps Kisumi hadn’t noticed the difficulty of looking straight at yourself yet. While facing the train’s window, Haruka was thinking about such things.
“That was good swimming, Haruka.”
When he turned around, Nao was standing there. As always, his steps are like a cat’s.
“Thanks.”
Because he was taken by surprise, it ended up becoming a bit of a curt response.
“The medley relay, wasn’t it the ‘selfless swimming’?”
Nao says it mostly categorically. What basis does he have to say it? He doesn’t care if he has any or not, but it was unpleasant to have something like a weird false image being pushed onto him.
“I don’t know, but I think it was different, probably. I felt and thought a lot of things. But––”
“But?”
He was about to say “Just the last bit might’ve been that”, but stopped. Supposing that’s the case, only Haruka can comprehend what Haruka felt. Even if he’s asked what it was like, he didn’t have the confidence that he could explain it well.
“Nao-senpai––”
Haruka turns around to stand face to face with Nao.
“What is it?”
“Could you hold out your palm?”
Haruka raises the index finger of his right hand. Nao nodded as if in full understanding of the situation, and held out his right hand.
“Sure.”
Pressing down his index finger on Nao’s palm, Haruka made his index finger directly link to his body’s center of gravity. Then, keeping his concentration gathered, he firmly pushes down his center of gravity. His weight turning into power, it was transmitted to his index finger…… Or it was supposed to have been, but Nao’s hand doesn’t budge an inch. Calmly, he stopped it.
“You pa.s.s. That’s impressive, Haruka.”
Nao says quietly, and in some way happily.
“……Thank you very much.”
While lightly bowing his head, Haruka had mixed feelings. It was supposed to prove that he had gotten closer, but on the contrary, it ended up showing off the difference between them. It became impossible again to guess the distance between him and Nao.
All of a sudden, his shoulder is grabbed from behind and he turns around. Realizing that it’s Shouta, Haruka was distraught to no small extent.
“Nanase––. In the next tournament, I’m taking the free. I definitely won’t let you have it!”
While being glared at by Shouta, he felt his feelings becoming lighter. Now, that fighting spirit is more comfortable than anything. Responding to Shouta’s pa.s.sion, Haruka nodded with force.
Even after letting go of Haruka’s shoulder, Shouta still glared at him without a single blink.
“When I swam with Nanase, I gave up right after the start…… It’s pathetic, but I was overwhelmed by your swimming.”
He wonders if that’s why he didn’t feel Shouta when they were swimming. But, is such a thing possible? A thing like being overwhelmed by someone’s swimming and giving up……
He looks at Nao. He was just directing a soft smile towards them.
“But, I won’t give up anymore. I won’t give up ever again!”
Flames dwell in Shouta’s eyes. Still directing a gaze hot enough to burn towards Haruka, he doesn’t take his eyes off him. Scorched by the fighting spirit that seems to gradually burn and stick, a single drop of sweat rolled down Haruka’s cheek.
Pushing Shouta aside as if he’s a nuisance, two cheerful smiles appeared. It’s Aki and Satomi.
“Nanase-kun. See, I’m frustrated that I couldn’t win. But you know, I’m having a lot of fun now.”
Aki shrugs her shoulders and shows a smile. In a “weird, huh?” way.
“Cuz having done everything I could, I gave it my all. It’d be a waste if I were to regret it.”
“I think so, too. Swimming is kinda fun!”
Aki and Satomi say it together. Indeed, there’s no point in regretting it. It’s nothing other than rejecting the effort you’ve built. It wasn’t supposed to have been easy enough practice that they could simply reject it.
“But you know––”
Says Aki.
“I don’t have regrets, but I do have a lot of tasks.” [callback to their ‘tasks’ at practice]
Facing each other, they shrug their shoulders again and laugh. Two flowers bloomed.
From far away, Maki’s and Yuki’s voice called them.
“Zaki, Nii-chan!”
“Yeees.”
After replying, Aki waves at Haruka.
“Then, see you later.”
“Uh huh.”
After watching Aki go, Satomi asked Haruka with a bit of a serious expression.
“The photos that Ikuya-kun had, did Nanase-kun see them, too?”
She must mean the ‘memories’ that were put into that tin and buried.
“Yeah.”
“The…… the bath photo, too?”
“Bath?”
He ponders over it a little. Wondering if something like that was among them or not, he realizes that it was.
“The one with the three of you in it?”
“Eh, you saw it?”
“Yeah, I saw it.”
“Oh no. That’s so embarra.s.sing.”
Satomi covers her face with both hands. It’s not even a question of embarra.s.sment, they were about kindergarten-aged.
“There isn’t really anything to be embarra.s.sed about, is there. Ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous––”
Satomi lets go of her face and her cheeks turn crimson.
“After seeing a person naked, how dare you say––”
Her voice is loud. The club members’ gazes gathering on them, the lively train interior falls silent. Satomi had noticed that and her crimson cheeks turn even redder.
“Now, now.”
Natsuya comes forward and tries to diffuse the situation.
“Inadvertently peeking into the changing room happens often in the swim club, doesn’t it? Hahaha.”
His dry laugh is hollow. Voices saying “nope, nope” are rising here and there, and using the chance of Natsuya getting accused with “have you seen it before?”, Satomi went back to Aki and the others as she got her blush under control.
So that they pa.s.s by each other, Tomo comes running with short steps. Haruka was watching her, while thinking that whenever the train sways, she sometimes came close to staggering. She’s gripping a small package in her hands.
“Nanase-kun. Was your foot alright?”
He’s slightly weary that she’s still bothered by it.
“It was nothing, really.”
“I’m glad. You see, I made this as an apology. It’s not much, but eat it if you’d like.”
The contents of the offered package are probably cookies.
“Thanks. You cheered all along, didn’t you? I could hear it properly.”
When he accepts it, she nodded and said “yeah” with a happy expression.
“Hey, Haru. What did you get?”
Asahi, who had finished singing the cheering song, comes near them. Right behind him, Makoto and Ikuya were there, too.
“Cookies.”
He looks at Tomo after replying. Tomo sighed like she’s saying “it can’t be helped, huh”, and she nodded a little with a smile. It means “you may eat it with everyone”.
“Ooh, cookies.”
“Let’s eat it.”
After Haruka had handed over the packet to Asahi, he opened it without reserve and lost no time in tossing one into his mouth.
“S’good. You guys eat some, too. It’s delicious!”
Makoto and Ikuya also picked up some of the offered cookies. Haruka took just one, too, and tried tasting it. He thinks it’s delicious. He lightly regretted that maybe he should’ve eaten the cookies from that time, too.
Ikuya approached Haruka, and he whispered in a small voice that couldn’t be heard by anyone.
“Haru, thanks.”
“What for?”
“I feel like I was able to change thanks to Haru.”
Without knowing what he’s talking about, he stares at Ikuya’s eyes.
“It’s Haru’s eyes. Thanks to those devoted eyes, I was able to change.”
Getting told that with a serious face, he somehow contains himself from almost bursting into laughter.
“I see. Well, thanks.”
When Ikuya was about to say something to Haruka’s noncommittal reply, Asahi came cutting in.
“One day, I’m gonna knock down Haru, just so you know. And then I’m gonna make him kneel down before me!”
He sticks his index finger out at Haruka. If it’s a declaration of war, he should say it after eating the cookies. Bits of food are scattering. Besides, why does he have to kneel after losing? He hasn’t seen anyone do that before.
“Haru––”
Makoto stands before Haruka, with his up-slanting eyebrowed smile.
“Hey, it was like how I said it, wasn’t it?”
He means when he said that they’re like water.
“That we can become any shape we want.”
“Aah.”
After nodding, Haruka showed a smile to Makoto just a little.
All of a sudden, light shines through the train window and he involuntarily squints his eyes. When he looks out, the setting sun was about to sink into the horizon. While swaying between the waves, it’s dyeing the sea red.
Where are they about to head to from now on? What are they aiming for, what will become of it? No matter how you try thinking about it, it’s something you don’t know. There are no promises or anything of the sort. Like that setting sun, there was no proof anywhere that they’ll be able to shine again tomorrow.
For the time being, he tries thinking about tomorrow.
–– I have to wake up early again and run with Makkou.
Even though it was a trivial thing, when he turns his eyes towards the future, he was able to feel brighter with that alone. He thinks that’ll do for now. As long as he has the feeling to face forward, that is enough.
Because precisely that feeling –– is hope.