High Speed!

Chapter 3 p1

Chapter 3 p1

 

 

“What did you write on the brick?”

After he finished a swim, when Haruka was sitting on the bench, Aki came and took a seat beside him.

“Free.”

He only gives a curt, minimum necessary reply.

“That’s just like Nanase-kun. It can be interpreted as ‘Living in freedom’ and it can be interpreted as ‘devoted to freestyle’, too, right?”

It doesn’t have such a deep meaning. Since he told Rin that he only swims free, he just wrote it mostly out of desperation. Even though he was asked, he had no intention of going along with social rules and asking Aki what she wrote. More than that, he wanted to ask her if she went out of her way now to come for the sake of such a conversation. If she had any other business with him instead.

Perhaps sensing that Haruka was feeling like that, Aki began to speak after inhaling a small breath.

“Say, Nanase-kun……”

After speaking out, Aki cuts her words short. He thinks it’s unusual for Aki.

“What.”

He tries to encourage her to keep talking. With Haruka’s support, Aki’s lips started to move again, with a faint little smile floating on them.

“I’m thinking of partic.i.p.ating in the medley relay, actually. Together with Miki, Maki and Yuuki. It’s kind of funny, huh? Just by looking at our names, it’s like we’re sisters, right?”

Saying that, Aki shows a smile. Did she end up gulping down the words she had begun to say? While thinking that it doesn’t matter, he leaves it as it is with a halfhearted reply.

“Yeah, true.”

Makoto, who had finished swimming just now, was climbing up onto the poolside. It was just the right time for them to switch. From Makoto to Haruka in the lane, from Haruka to Makoto for talking with Aki.  Standing up, Haruka walked to the starting block.

“Nanase-kun.”

Aki stood up and called Haruka to stop. His feet stop but he doesn’t reply. Aki boldly strained her voice from her throat.

“You should do the relay.”

Without turning his body, he looks at Aki over his shoulder just by tilting his head. 

“Why?”

“But Nanase-kun, aren’t you the fastest among the sixth graders?”

“At 50m, Matsuoka’s faster.”

He starts walking again, returning his glance to the front. Pa.s.sing by Makoto who’s dripping with water, he dove in from the starting block. Breaking away from Aki’s gaze, in the water, Haruka is once again released from his ties.

 

“Hey, Haru. Did you run here today, too?”

Makoto asked him as he’s drying himself in the changing rooms. Being a little aware of Rin changing his clothes behind him, Haruka replied in a murmur.

“Yeah, I did.”

He wondered if Rin would say something, but he heard Nagisa’s voice instead.

“I decided to run starting today, too. Nanase-kun said it’s alright for me to run with him.”

“Ohh?”

Speaking in a teasing voice, Rin stares at Haruka. Since he seems to be misunderstanding something, he adds something just in case.

“As long as he can keep up with me, that is.”

Even though he said that, Rin was still grinning. He feels slightly irritated. Makoto came to the rescue of Haruka’s feelings.

“Maybe I’ll run with you, too.”

Even though he said it like a joke, Haruka knew that he’s not joking. When he asked ‘did you run here?’, he thought that he was probably going to say that. So he got even more irritated. He has no reason to refuse.

“Just saying, I won’t wait for you.”

“It’s alright. I’m not that slow.”

“Not just that, I won’t wait if you’re late, either.”

“Ah, so it’s about that.”

A small shadow floated across Makoto’s eyes. But disappearing so soon that you’d think it was just a hallucination, Makoto returns to the way he was before.

“It’s alright. I’ll be able to get there in time starting tomorrow.”

Then, what kept you until today? Before Haruka could say that, Nagisa cut in.

“We can run together on the way home, too, right?”

After taking his bag out of the locker, Haruka closed its door.

“As long as you hurry up with changing.”

While saying that, he leaves the changing rooms at a quick pace.

“Ah, wait up.”

While putting on half his sock and s.n.a.t.c.hing out his bag, Nagisa ran after Haruka. Finding the scene to be amusing, Rin and Makoto laughed for a little while. Once their laughter died down, it felt like the temperature had suddenly dropped in the quiet changing rooms. Taking out his bag from the locker, Makoto lightly waved his hand at Rin.

“Then, I’m going home, too.”

“Tachibana.”

Makoto’s feet stop just as he was about to step forward.  When he turned around, Rin was wearing an unusually serious expression.

“What?”

“What do you think about the medley relay?”

“’What’……, I don’t mind being in it.”

It’s troubling to be asked what he thinks. There’s nothing else he could reply. Rin didn’t even look happy as he lightly nods his head a few times. It doesn’t seem like he was looking for a particular answer.

“Do you think Nanase would swim in the medley relay?”

‘Could you ask him to swim it?’ That’s what Makoto heard it as. It seemed like it was Haruka whom Rin was interested in.

“I think it wouldn’t change anything even if I ask.”

“Oh don’t say that.”

“Hmm, I guess I can try talking to him about it.”

“I’m counting on you.”

Being looked at with eyes that say ‘You’re the only one I can count on’, he ends up feeling a little pressured.

“See you later.”

“Yeah.”

After leaving the changing rooms, he tried to go to the lobby in a half run. However, Haruka was nowhere to be found. Even though Rin asked him to, it’s not like he had to do it right away, but he didn’t want to drag it on for too long, either. That’s all there is to it. He had no intention of persuading Haruka, he thought that he wouldn’t mind it if he didn’t want to. He has no reason to fuss over the medley relay. Haruka’s free to swim in whatever he wants.

The clicking sound echoed as he opened the parking area for bicycles with the key. He tries to take a look at the area where Haruka usually parks his bicycle. A different bicycle stood there today. The parking area for bicycles without Haruka felt terribly inhuman and cold.

—— I’ll run here starting tomorrow.

He tries to murmur to himself again what he said lightly in the changing rooms. Then, getting onto his bicycle, he starts pedaling.

He caught up to Nagisa at Mutsukibashi. Haruka’s already running near the middle of the bridge.

“Keep at it, Nagisa!”

He looked up at him as he tries calling out to him, wheezing out white breaths. He was glad that he was overtaken like that, but feeling a little sorry for him for being left behind Haruka, since he’s also been abandoned by him, he decided to keep the pace with him.

“Do your best, Nagisa!”

He can talk to Haruka tomorrow. There’s no particular need to be in a hurry. Makoto crossed Mutsukibashi while cheering on Nagisa as he stumbles, blown by the wind.

 

As soon as Makoto gets home, having taken out the gardening shovel, he started digging up a corner of the garden. It didn’t even take him a minute to finish the work. After that, he opened the entranceway’s door and turned on the light.

The goldfish bowl was left on top of the shoe shelf. Two goldfish are drifting about on the water’s surface. Without swimming or moving their gills, they were just peacefully drifting about on the water’s surface. You could tell at a glance that they were sick from the many white specks on the surface of their scales.

Even though he washed the goldfish bowl every day immediately after getting home from school and treated them by immersing them in medicinal water, after he came home from school today, both of them were floating.

Makoto gently tried to put his hand into the goldfish bowl. The lukewarm sensation coils about his fingertips. Just like a stagnant swamp, he couldn’t feel the beat of life in it at all. With that hand, he scoops up the goldfish coldly drifting about. The two goldfish slept in Makoto’s hand, without the slightest flick of their fin.

Carrying the goldfish to the corner of the garden, he placed them in the hole he had dug earlier. When he covered it up with earth, the ceremony came to a finish. When he thought about what a small life it was to have ended with just that, he felt a splintered pain deep in his chest.

“You still wanted to swim.”

Makoto stood up, holding the gardening shovel. Even though he stood up, he couldn’t take away his gaze from the ground yet.

“Sorry.”

After throwing down the shovel and running to the entranceway, Makoto turned off the pump. Peaceful and dark, only the water that held no meaning remained. Thinking that it was just like the water that had tried to swallow Haruka that time, his hands begin to shake again slightly.

Rushing out of his house, Makoto vigorously ran down the stairs until he reached the stone steps leading to the shrine. Haruka’s house is right there. He has to meet him right now. It can’t be tomorrow. He’ll meet him now. If he doesn’t, he won’t be able to stay himself. He wants to meet Haruka——.

„Makoto.”

Just as he began to climb the stone steps with the evening approaching, he was suddenly called to stop. Makoto’s feet stop, the beats of his pulse getting louder.

 —— Haru’s voice…..

He slowly raises his gaze, ascending the stone steps one step at a time. While the setting sun shines on the single torii, it stood with its shadow deepening. And then, standing below that torii is….. Haruka.

—— Was he waiting for me?

Raising the question in his mind, he immediately denied it. That can’t be. Even though he knew it, and yet, part of him wanted to think that. His feet start moving on their own. Towards Haruka…..

He climbs up the stairs, gazing at Haruka. He can’t move his glance. He can’t take his eyes off of Haruka. Makoto climbed all the way up until the single torii, like he was being pulled by something. So close to Haruka that he could touch him if he were to stretch out his hand.

“Haru…… Were you here all along?”

“Yeah.”

Expressionlessly, he replies in a tiny mumble.

“Did you know I was coming?”

Even if he knew that it can’t be so, he couldn’t keep from asking.

“Nope.”

“Then, why….”

—— are you standing in a place like this?

“I was looking at the sunset.”

Makoto tries turning toward the same direction as Haruka’s glance is pointing to. Weaving its way between the maple and zelkova trees, it appeared like the red setting sun was trying to sink the center of the wispy clouds into the horizon. Since the setting sun was blurred by the clouds, parting with its radiance from its time as the sun, it revealed its outlines as large as the moon. He does think it’s beautiful, but it’s not something unusual to be so fascinated by.

Maybe he was waiting after all. Even though he said differently, he wanted to think that. Just by thinking that, he feels the throbbing pain deep in his chest calming down.

“Do you have some business with me?”

Haruka’s face shone red, with the setting sun illuminating it.

“Rather than business, after seeing Haru’s face, somehow, I might be feeling at ease now.”

“What does that mean?”

Showing his teeth a little, Haruka laughs a bit.

“It’s weird, huh?”

Makoto laughed too, raising his eight-shaped eyebrows. Speaking of which, he thought that it’s been quite a while since he spoke to Haruka with just the two of them. Lately, Rin’s with them wherever they go.

All of a sudden, Haruka looks straight into Makoto’s eyes. The light of the setting sun illuminating deep into his eyes, it felt like Haruka’s heart could be seen transparently.

“Makoto.”

“What?”

“Are you scared of the water?”

His heart jumped. His hands begin to sweat. His throat drying up, he feels a tightness in his chest. It felt like the oxygen had run out, but only around him. Even if he pretends to be calm, he can’t hold down his hard breathing.

He gazes at Haruka’s eyes. He realized that he was the one whose heart could be seen through. It was like that since he was young. Even though he never said anything about himself, he knew everything about Makoto. He understood him. And then, he pretended not to understand. His heart opens up. There was no longer a meaning in locking things away.  

Without criticizing him, without pressing questions, Haruka asked him in his usual quiet tone.

“All along?”

He nods his head without making a sound. His fear of the water isn’t connected to whether or not he swims. No matter how much he swims, something inescapable lurks in the water. Even if it seems to be dormant, it doesn’t mean it won’t come and attack one day. The fearful feeling has inhabited Makoto’s heart, knowing the scariness of that lurking thing, being frightened of shadows.

Haruka asked him with a short phrase again.

 “Why?”

He wasn’t uncomfortable with Haruka asking him. Rather, he wants him to know. Perhaps, he might have even been waiting for Haruka to say so. On the other hand, he also feels embarra.s.sed for being weak. It’s not like he was hiding it. However, he’s been keeping it completely within him all along.

“When we were kids, the two of us saw all those people wearing the white kimonos and walking in a line, right? Do you remember?”

Haruka nods a little. The face of the child who turned around that time crossing Makoto’s mind, at the same time, he thought that Haruka remembers it, too.

“Apparently, a large fishing boat sunk. A big boat with dozens of people on it. Three kilometers away from the fishing harbor, it was on its way to open sea.”

He heard about such a thing happening years after he had seen that line. As Haruka turns his gaze towards the sea, so does Makoto. The wind blew like it was carrying away the setting sun.

“Three kilometers, that’s a distance we easily swim every day. So why did the fishermen drown there?”

Something is lurking in the sea that can’t swim such a distance. Even if they search for it, they surely can’t find it. From the start, it’s something that can’t be seen with your eyes. He couldn’t think of anything else.

“When I get in the pool, I lose my usual composure. Rather than swimming, it feels like I’m escaping from something. It’s not even the sea and even my feet can reach.  ……. I’m always running away from the water.”

Haruka listened without saying a word. The sun sinking below the horizon, the eastern sky starts to become dim. Still turned towards the sea, Makoto hid his eyes. And then, he slowly raises his gaze at Haruka.

“When Haru fell in the river, I shook with fear. I try and try to hold it back, but the shaking comes from inside my body.  My hands and my feet, I couldn’t stop my entire body from shaking.”

The thing lurking in the water is trying to take Haruka away. That’s what he thought. He thought that Haruka would disappear. That the fear that was only depicted in his head until then, had turned into a thing of reality and was coming to attack him. And then, every feeling other than ‘terror’ had flown out of Makoto. Since then, with no notice at all, unexpectedly, that fear reawakens in his heart. Whether he’s at home, at school or swimming at the pool……. When that fear comes, his body stiffens, his thoughts come to a halt. He ends up fighting against the attacking fear with all this might.

“It’s not because Matsuoka-kun asked, but I’m thinking that I’ll try swimming the medley relay. So…… Haru, let’s swim together. It’s no good if Haru’s not there, if it isn’t Haru. I want to swim with Haru!”

Without stirring, without even changing his expression, Haruka accepted them up front, Makoto’s words that seemed to strike hard. To the point that it’d make you think as if he could even be able to count Makoto’s breathing and pulse, with a cool gaze. That gaze of Haruka’s cools down Makoto’s burning heart and body. Makoto felt the ripples in his chest rapidly calming down.

“Sorry. It seems like I ended up saying something a little weird. Don’t worry about it that much, okay? It’s gotten dark already so I’ll go home now.”

The harbor’s street lights starting to light up, the moon rose from the eastern sky.

“See you later.”

When Makoto said that and was about to climb down the stone steps, Haruka’s heavy mouth opened just a little.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Eh?”

“About the medley relay.”

Makoto’s eight-shaped eyebrows gently go up. His eyes narrowing, a smile returned to his mouth. For now, just saying that much was enough.

“Then, see you tomorrow, Haru.”

“Yeah.”

Makoto’s heart became so much lighter that it couldn’t be compared to earlier. It felt like he had finally put down the burden he’d been carrying on his own. He thinks that perhaps, from tomorrow onwards, days like today will continue.

Liking to swim even though he’s afraid of the water, but wanting to escape when he enters the pool, and that’s why he wants Haruka to be there, but Haruka is blunt as usual……. Even so, he didn’t care about that right now. Just having Haruka understand that that’s what he’s like was enough for now.

Makoto arrived at the road home from the stone steps with dusk drawing near on it in a light gait.
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