Chalker, Jack L.

Hotel Andromeda.

FIRST NIGHTER.

Karen Haber

Lekvich Tor was excited, perhaps"even a bit overly excited.

But why not? he told himself. Tonight was going to be a big night. The biggest.

He stared at his image in the holomirror and saw exactly the same thing that he had seen when he had looked at him- self not two minutes before: a short, stocky young man of eighteen, with pale purple skin, red hair cut into fashionable swirls, and amber-colored eyes. wearing a blue uniform with the logo of the Hotel Andromeda set in golden glowst.i.tch against the right shoulder.

Proudly, Lekvich Tor shot his glowst.i.tched cuffs. He looked fine, even if he did say so himself. It was his first night on full duty at the Hotel Andromeda concierge desk and he couldn"t quite believe that he was actually working for such a wonderful place. He, Lekvich Tor, fifth son of Velia Tor, bom and raised on the fringes of the galaxy on the col- ony world of Vladimir"s Folly, beginning his career at the 2 Karen Haber biggest orbital hotel complex in the sector. Not just a hotel, he reminded himself, but a s.p.a.ce terminal and stopping point for every liner pa.s.sing through the area! He took one last approv- ing look at himself, then turned and hurried to his new post in the main lobby of the hotel- The grand lobby of the Hotel Andromeda was a huge cir- cular affair, well lit and alive with people, noise, and move- ment. Its circ.u.mference was lined by curving service desks above which hung holosigns indicating their different func- tions: reception, cashier, messages, concierge. Robot dollies hovered inches above the deep blue carpeting, ferrying bag- gage to and from the hotel"s main portals. Public announce- ments in every known language in the galaxy resounded from multiple speakers.

The din would have overwhelmed a smaller s.p.a.ce but somehow the great arcing gold-flecked dome of the lobby managed to contain and reduce the noise until it was a con- stant buzz, un.o.btrusive but electrifying.

Enormous viewing bays were set into the north and south poles of me lobby, providing tantalizing glimpses of distant stars, nebulas, and pa.s.sing asteroids. The constant flow of s.p.a.ce traffic could be seen as well: liners docking, modules uncoupling and chugging toward the hotel terminal while oth- ers returned to their mother ships. There was an endless changing show taking place just outside those windows and many guests had a.s.sembled in the viewing lounges to take a better, more leisurely look.

Lekvich Tor forced his eyes away from outer s.p.a.ce and gazed around the lobby in ever greater excitement The vast hanging chandeliers with their yellow glow globes moving up and down! The people hurrying to and fro in every manner of dress imaginable! The sense of urgency, of important business being transacted just inches away, was palpable and intoxicat- ing. He was dazzled by the sophistication of the decor, the cosmopolitan mix of people. Every shape, every size, every color. He couldn"t help staring in fascination. Perhaps some- day he would become accustomed to all of this, possibly even take it for granted. He smiled at the thought of that distant, sophisticated Lekvich Tor, then shook his head. How could he ever take all this wonder for granted? Impossible. There was too much to see: everything was new and amazing.

FIRST NIGHTER 3.

His supervisor. Ranee Franklin, was monitoring the con- cierge board. She was a middle-aged woman with green eyes, white hair, and a cool, professional demeanor, which he en- vied. She greeted him with a nod. "You"re early, Lekvich.

Good."

Lekvich Tor smiled. He felt dazed and suddenly tongue- tied.

"Nervous?" Ranee asked.

"Nervous? Who, me?" He shook his head too many times.

"Ranee, do you think that tonight I will see a great many aliens?" he blurted, barely able to contain himself.

"Of course." She looked at him in surprise and said sharply, "Is that going to be a problem?"

"No. I mean, I hope not. What I mean is, I"ve never seen any before."

"You"re in for a treat, then." Her smile was a bit sour at the edges but Lekvich Tor didn"t quite understand why.

"Look," she said. "Do you think you can handle the con- sole for a couple of minutes? I"ve got to run to the loo."

Lekvich Tor blushed with pride and embarra.s.sment. Al- ready, she trusted him enough to leave him in charge. To share intimate information about bodily needs! His purplish skin glowed with pleasure. "You can count on me."

"I hope so." She handed him the concierge headset.

He watched her broad back as she strode away toward the staff lavatory. A powerful woman, not unlike his mother.

Carefully, almost reverently he fit the headset around his ears and mouth.

The con board lay before him, its glittering display of lights winking lazily, red and blue and yellow and green. He would fax his mother tonight and tell her that he had been selected for extra responsibilities and for once she would boast about him to his brothers instead of the other way around.

Bzzzzzt!

A call! Someone was ringing from-he checked the screen carefully-room 1522. And Ranee had not returned. Which meant that he, Lekvich Tor, must take the call. Hands trem- bling, he filled his lungs with air and punched the appropriate flashing b.u.t.ton- "Hotel Andromeda, concierge," he said. His voice sounded a little high, he thought. He"d have to watch that. He took a 4 Karen Haber deep breath, pressed his hand against his diaphragm, and tried to modulate his tone downward. "Good evening."

"There"s a Voltorran bat in my room!"

"Sir?"

"I said, there"s a Voltorran bat in my room! Hanging from the chandelier."

"I"m afraid you want Housekeeping-"

"I distinctly ordered a Mykonian bat, in fact, four of them.

With hot mustard."

"One moment, please," Lekvich Tor said. "I"m cross- scanning the net. Ah, yes. I see. It was room 527 that re- quested the live Voltorran bat with implant and sonar control.

I"ll send someone up to collect it and deliver your order at once. Our apologies for the inconvenience."

"Make it fast. I"m starving."

"Yes, sir. And to compensate you for the inconvenience, the bats will be on the house." Ranee had often told him: "Smooth frayed tempers with freebies."

"Good. Appreciate it."

Lekvich Tor shut down the line and grinned happily. His first official call and he had handled it without a hitch! If only Ranee had been there to hear him. Certainly she would have approved. But she was nowhere to be seen. Oh well, women spent more time than men in the WC. he knew that. He would be patient and wait, and perhaps he would even be able to take another call before Ranee returned.

Sure enough, he had no time to savor his triumph. The call line was buzzing once more.

"Good evening. Hotel Andromeda, concierge. Can I help you?"

"No. I mean, yes. That is to say, I"m not quite sure." The speaker had a pleasant baritone voice and sounded like a middle-aged Terran.

A high, shrill voice cut in. "Don"t listen to him, he"s ly- ing."

"No, he"s not," said a silky female contralto. "Oh, this is all terrible, just terrible."

Lekvich Tor was taken aback by the jumble of voices.

"h.e.l.lo? Excuse me, please," he said. "Is this still room 1274?

I"m afraid there"s been some mistake. Two calls seem to have crossed. I hear more than one voice on this line."

FtRST NIGHTER 5 "No, there"s been no mistake." The baritone sighed deeply.

"We"re all in here, together."

"I don"t understand, sir. Your room is listed as single occu- pancy."

"I"m from Veroni-Anspel."

"Oh." Lekvich Tor was stunned. He had read about the Veroni-Anspelians but he had never expected to talk to one, much less one apparently in estrus. He felt his cheeks grow- ing hot at the very thought.

"Forgive me," he said- "I hadn"t realized." One fact blazed in his mind, remembered from his hotel training: Veroni- Anspelians developed multiple personalities during estrus.

Lekvich Tor didn"t know what to say next, or to whom he would be saying it. Luckily, the Veroni-Anspelian rescued him from his confusion.

"I"m afraid that I miscalculated the onset of my period," he said. "And so I"ve arrived completely unprepared."

"Not to worry, sir," Lekvich Tor replied, thinking rapidly.

"Our pharmacy can supply you with personality dampers."

"Do you have super absorbent?"

"Yes. Five- or ten-day supply?"

*Ten. And please tell them to hurry."

"No, forget it," said a ba.s.so-profundo voice.

And the high, shrill voice cried, "Leave us alone! That"s all. Just leave us alone!"

"Shut up, all of us"" bellowed the Veroni-Anspelian.

"Don"t worry," Lekvich Tor said. "I"m sending the order to the pharmacy right now."

"Thank you."

"To h.e.l.l with you," said the high, shrill voice.

"Good-bye," Lekvich Tor said quickly.

He hung up feeling a bit unnerved but quite pleased by the way in which he had handled the call. He couldn"t wait to tell Ranee about his progress-but she still had not returned from the ladies" room. Perhaps she had fainted. Women had that tendency, he knew, because his mother would often faint when her children did something of which she disapproved.

Should he send someone to look for her? Anxiously he scanned the lobby. No Ranee. Well, don"t panic, he told him- self. At least wait a few minutes more. Surely she"ll come back soon. She"s probably on her way right now.

6 Karen Haber Bzzzt!

"Hotel Andromeda, concierge."

"Yes, this is room 3251. I have a euthanasia appointment tomorrow at noon."

Lekvich Tor scanned the records quickly. "Mr. Ediin, yes."

"I"d like to reschedule. Something came up."

"Same time next week?"

"That would be fine."

Lekvich Tor made the notation. "I"ll see that Euthenetics gets the message."

Bzzzzt!

"Hotel Andromeda-"

"I want to talk to robodealer forty-five in the casino."

"I"m sorry, sir," Lekvich Tor said smoothly. "Those lines are busy. But I"d be happy to place your bet for you."

"Swell. I"d like to bet on the cyberraces."

"Which steeds?"

"Halley"s s...o...b..ll."

"To win, place, or show?"

"Place."

"Very good, sir. As you know, your winnings or your fee wilt be applied to your hotel account."

"Much obliged."

Lekvich Tor shut down the call, sat back on the web seat behind the con board, and crossed his arms in satisfaction.

Maybe Ranee was never coming back. And maybe he didn"t care- Bzzzt!

"Good evening. Hotel Andromeda, concierge."

"I need an unabridged edition of Dante"s Slippers by Rock- well, translated into English III."

"An English III version?" Lekvich Tor scanned the library scrolls and his spirits fell. "I"m terribly sorry, ma"am. The only edition we currently have available on line is in English II."

"Can you have it updated?"