Recently, I was busy with the final exam.

So maybe I couldn"t update the post as frequently as usual.

As a matter of fact, I had been thinking whether I should continue to update the post these days.

After all, what confused me at first had pa.s.sed. But now, I had no idea about my feelings for my dad.

I knew that telling them to you might make me feel better, but I always thought it was not appropriate.

What? Did you like reading my story with an unrequited love? Hahaha...

Thank you for comforting me. Maybe my dad also had such feelings for me. Then there would be a happy ending. But I was not sure about it.

Let me tell you something.

Yesterday, I found my dad followed a new person on his cosplay account. The avatar of that account was the same person who sent a video call request to my dad"s wechat. So I was sure that they must be the same person. 

Those accounts my dad followed were either internet celebrity or the person he had worked with. However, this person didn"t belong to any category above---at least temporarily. I saw someone said in the chat group that my dad might cooperate with her.

Thanks to the fans in the chat group, I knew the ident.i.ty of this person.

She was a real G.o.ddess.

I secretly watched the videos she shot, which made me amazed. What a vigour girl she was! No matter her character of cosplay, or videos with Lolita skirts, they were attractive.

Even I began to imagine the picture that she was with my dad. Wow! So perfect a picture!

Seriously, if I wasn"t sure if I liked my dad, I might have a crush on this girl.

So, I was not expecting a happy ending between me and my dad.

Thinking of it seriously, my dad"s kindness to me could be explained as a dad"s being good to his son.

Oh, forget it! I was gonna prepare for the final exam.

Someone just asked me about my s.e.xual orientation.

I thought you had already been sure that I, as a male, liked male. 

Actually, I had been wondering about my s.e.xual orientation for many years.

As you knew, I was adopted by my dad at the age of eight. And then because of my dad"s "love" and indulgence to me, I began to read a lot of cartoons at the age of 11, nearly half of which was about BL.

Therefore, from an early age, I was indoctrinated with the idea that "Only h.o.m.os.e.xual is true love". Although I was a sunny straight man on the outlook, I still agreed with that idea deep down. 

In the second year of high school, I first had a crush on a little girl. Then my dad offered to help me pursue that girl.

But I suspected that he just tried to make trouble with my first love. 

He asked me to take that girl to a bubble tea store. Then he sat near us, saying that he would help me at the right time. As a result, the little girl was frightened by his fixed eyes. Then, she secretly told me that there was a handsome pervert staring at her.

I had no choice but tell her that was my dad.

Knowing that, she looked even more sullen and said with trepidation, "Your dad... What does he want to do?"

At that time, I hadn"t won her heart yet. So I couldn"t confess that my dad was here to be my wingman, could I?

So I made an excuse, "It was a coincidence. Calm down. He won"t interfere with us."

The little girl listened to what I said, looking up and down at me. As if she was looking at an idiot.

Then she said, "Are you sure?"

I looked back at my dad. Alright. My bad! He was looking at us with a poker face. It seemed that he was gonna come to us and break us up.

I had nothing to say as defense.

After this, the little girl quickly fell in love with some other boy.

However, my dad still cared about me, often asking, "How"s it going? Have you been with her?"

I rolled my eyes and said, "Thanks to you, she has been with others."

Listening to it, he just smiled and said: "That doesn"t matter. Cheer up! There would be a better one waiting for you in the future."

However, the so-called "future" had not come yet.

After that, I didn"t have an interest on any girl. And the more I grew up, the more I didn"t want to be in a relationship. Even I wasn"t attracted by any girl no matter how charming she was.

But since I was 17 or 18 years old, I had special feelings for my dad every time I looked at him.

Suddenly, he became the president of the company. Since then, he treated me as coldly as an iceberg. At that time, all I could feel from him was "duty".

Therefore, my dating experience was quite little, let alone to figure out and validate my s.e.xual orientation.

To sum up, you should understand that I was still not sure what I like.

By the way, I thought it would be ideal to be with my dad (What I meant was being together as a couple).