Chapter 166 - I Want To Do Well

My hesitant hand rested on Ricdorian’s shoulder.

‘What do I do.’

I have no talent for comfort. I don’t know exactly why he’s crying, telling me not to go so sadly.

I know that it’s serious enough for someone who wouldn’t even open their mouth and go out coldly.

To me, this is a hand as gentle as sunlight. It’s a healing hand. I thought back to myself, and patted his shoulder awkwardly.

In the book, he was a man without tears. He was always just, like the tip of the silver sword that was only toward the right. It was really surprising to see the man like this.

This man’s childhood was unhappy, and it was by no means easy. Nevertheless, I was both curious and sad about his upright nature. Even though it was a rated-19 novel mixed with tragedy, it didn’t mean that the protagonist’s character wasn’t revealed.

At times, it felt like he was trying to force himself to be just. He was like a beast standing on top of a cliff.

The person who once did so is wretchedly collapsed and was held in my arms. Messed up as if he had been lost out of an unparalleled fight.

Judging by his drooping shoulders… I don’t think it’s time to ask.

I chose to offer comfort so quietly. Even if it was clumsy, I hope it’s delivered.

Please, I hope that the awkwardness will be quickly erased and that you will feel gentle and good for a long time.

For a very long time.

My shoulders were wet, but I didn’t care. It’s clothes. I can change.

Ricdorian buried his face in my shoulder and didn’t know how to remove it.

Since this happened, I wanted to cry my heart out too.

‘More than that… It’s huge.’

Taking advantage of the moment when his trembling had subsided, I spread his hands apart and measured the length.

It’s not exact, but it seems bigger than what I remember. Compared to the grown-up version of him I encountered briefly four years ago.

So, it was Ricdorian who dug into me, but it became something that I did not know whether he was holding me or whether I was buried in him.

I think this has happened before….

As I was thinking about it, Ricdorian raised his head.

I looked at his face carelessly and stopped.

“…Iana….”

His wrinkled face was messed up with tears. Red ears, cheeks, and under the eyes, under the disheveled silver hair….

It was breathtakingly terrifying and sensational.

The neat face, which was always neat and even holy, is so messed up.

I took a deep breath. It’s not a time like this, but I couldn’t help but feel a little nervous while thinking about it.

Ricdorian carefully took my hand.

Being careful, feeble, and not strong enough to remind me of the time I was in prison 4 years ago.

Then he placed my hand on his cheek, moist with tears.

“Please, don’t leave me.”

Water dripped from my fingertips. The quivering eyelashes opened slowly. In the meantime, cold transparent eyes were revealed.

“…Huh?”

… To say something like that all of a sudden. I wanted to chase this tension even with an odd sound.

Or it felt like my fingertips would tremble.

“…why are you suddenly saying this?”

“Because it was from the beginning.”

It was as if I was suffocating, the strange air was pulling my neck upright.

“I wanted to keep doing this.”

you wanted to do this?

“…I told you I won’t forgive.”

He confessed softly.

“Someone who hurts me.”

I closed my mouth.

“It’s good to be just, but when it’s difficult, I’d rather be a villain, so I’ve been doing that all along.”

As you say. And it seemed that I could hear the omitted words.

“When you asked to forget our parting and leave only good memories, I reflected only the memories with you thousands of times.”

I have kept all your words like a scripture.

“…”

“Even on the day you didn’t keep your promise.”

His voice slowly lowered.

“But Iana… I don’t think I can only hate you.”

It was a pitiful sound, like a rough scratch on the inside of his throat.

You still remember my words. 4 years or so.

The feeling of the arrow I shot coming back to me was mysterious and difficult, and it brought a strange excitement.

“Iana, please.”

He grabbed my hand with one hand, wrapped it around the other, and dug into my arms again.

“Don’t leave….”

The weight was on my shoulders, but it felt like I had a stone on my heart. Perhaps he has become so desperate over time. The words didn’t come out right.

I noticed this moment. That this is a moment of choice that has been put on hold.

– Can’t you… answer? If not.

It was time to choose

– You’re not…answering?

Are you going back to Chaser?

Or stay with Ricdorian.

The worries didn’t last long. No, the answer came naturally.

“.…alright.”

I’ve always done what my heart desires.

Even in prison. Even in the shackled Domulit mansion.

“I will be here.”

At the same time, in the corner of my head, the thought of going back to Domulit was strong against my will.

However, it was ignored. At least, it was the first place I wanted to be with my will.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

He raised his head and asked me, with a face that looked like he couldn’t believe it.

‘When did I ever break a promise?’, I tried to say that but I stopped.

‘Ah. I didn’t keep it, right.’

I briefly reflected on my lack of conscience.

I wasn’t depressed. Will I have to make the same mistake again in the future?

“…really, so don’t make a face like that.”

I’m sorry that I can’t give him trust either. I shut my mouth when I tried to add this.

He was staring at me with his languid eyes. Locking me in a hug so big that he no longer feels like a boy again.

… Obviously he rushed in first, when did this happen?

A suffocating silence subsided. It was a silence with a different meaning than before.

“Yes. Now you’re by my side.”

His eyes held me persistently. While observing and staring meticulously, as if not to miss a single strand of hair.

“By my side….”

A smile appeared on his face, which had been messed up with tears.

The smile mixed with despair that comes after crying was as neat and enchanting as the forget-me-not plant that bloomed after the spring rain.

“Iana.”

While I was distracted by that smile, he lowered his head slightly.

It was after his face got closer when I thought ‘Oops’.

“… Can I do it?”

As a Grand Duke, no, as an adult, the words evoked a ripple effect beyond imagination.

This one stimulates the strange imagination. Plus, I can see a solid line through the white shirt….

I wanted to avoid his gaze, but there was nowhere to escape.

“…I told you not make me misunderstand.”

I was forced to meet his eyes.

“Don’t you remember this?”

No, I can’t be fooled.

“So can I do it?”

No, so. What.

The words I was about to ask were erased by his neat smile. It was also a very wild smile.

“…Alright. Do it. Do it.”

No matter what, the moment that contains the words ‘do it’.

A soft thing came down on my lips.

As I was afraid to inhale and make a ‘heup’ sound, I parted my lower lip and something entered.

When I opened my eyes, Ricdorian, who was looking at me, slowly opened his eyes. As if I had allowed it.

At the same time, a strong arm dug into my waist.

I thought about raising my hand and grabbing the swaying hair, but that thought quickly faded.

It’s because he didn’t let me think about it.

He grabbed my waist and lifted me up. A sigh escaped from his lips, which had fallen for a moment.

It was because his physical strength was far less than the one he seemed to be good at.

All of a sudden, Ricdorian, who had me on one leg with his knee up, was looking up at me from below.

I backed away with an ‘uhk’ sound, and my back hit the wall. A small vibration pa.s.sed over the leg that touched it.

It was because Ricdorian laughed softly and came over.

“Iana.”

A low hoa.r.s.e voice called me. I felt the thrill as if ice was thrown into my heart.

“…I want to do well.”

“What?”

I frowned slightly. In the meantime, Ricdorian carefully clasped my hands and tilted my upper body.

He had to bend quite a bit because he was so much bigger, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Can’t you tell me?”

His eyes, brittle with tears, drew a half moon.

“Huh? Let me know.”

His blushing face was a mixture of shyness and sarcasm. I swallowed a gulp.

Tell you what? If you don’t know the meaning of this, you’re going to be an idiot.

… Oh look, this looks like a well-prepared table. Can I rush in because it smells good?

I happened to be seduced by a handsome man in front of me, but he said he had no business with it. I kept tilting.

Then I suddenly realized. The Ricdorian I see now has a very different smile and a completely different facial expression compared to when he first ran to this room.

It’s like seeing the growth mode that was forced by magic 4 years ago….

It looked like I was going to blush at the darkly maturing appearance, but a strange red warning light sounded the alarm.

But there was no time to think long. Because Ricdorian took my hand and rubbed it against his lips.

“You allowed it.”

He blinked his eyes languidly.

“I want Iana to tell me. Can’t you tell me?”

Pulling up the red lips from tears, with a rustling voice.

“Until I do well.”