"Fei Wu."I continued to hang my head even as Ba Yun called out to me again. It wasn"t that I planned on defying him, but I was just too tired and wracked in pain to raise my head.
"After spending the past week with you, I"ve come to realize something."
He placed an arm around my shoulders in mock a.s.surance, chuckling.
"That your body…as well as your mind are unexpectedly tenacious. Even after all of this, you continue to preserve your sanity. I"m impressed."
I said nothing. There was nothing more to say. If anything, the silence was probably what helped me endure. I felt like the moment I said anything, the st.u.r.dy mental barrier that I had built to keep reality out would begin to crumble.
"And so I tried to come up with something different."
He pulled on a trembling black leash.
"What do you think of this?"
Sounds of chuckling and sobbing were intertwined, and soft weeping reached my ears. My eyes widened and I finally looked up.
Ba Yun shoved a familiar pair toward me, his arms wrapped around them. My jaw dropped when I recognized them. Even though they had been beaten black and blue, their faces swollen and bleeding, their features were unmistakably those of the mother-son pair who took care of me all those months ago when I was in Chun Xiang Village.
"Hu Shi and Hu Hai?!"
"Yes, indeed! The mother and son from the village I found you in! It appears that you know these two quite well, doesn"t it?"
Ba Yun roared gleefully with laughter as he presented the battered figures of Hu Shi and Hu Hai to me.
"F…Fei Wu…"
Hu Shi looked at me, both apologetic and miserable.
"I"m…sorry…"
"No…no, you…"
I met Hu Shi"s resigned, terrified gaze with wide, horrified eyes. Ba Yun savored our expressions, the exchange of fear that pa.s.sed between us, and chuckled again. He then slowly tilted his head to rest his amused gaze upon me.
"Now here is the dilemma. I really have no clue what to do, but I figure that you do. After spending so much time with me, I think you"ve earned the right to a reward. You get to choose, my dear Fei Wu. Which one should I kill?"
I wanted to throw up. I wanted to cry. In my hazy, disorientated eyes, Ba Yun"s visage had turned into that of a monster. Despite appearing human, he was bereft of any human features. A monster with a human mask.
How long?
Lu Shun and Old Man Yi had told me. I vaguely recalled that they told me how the demonic sect, the Chinese Parasol Tree Sect had invaded and abducted a few women and children prior to my arrival. That was the reason why they even sent out the request in the first place. They were looking for someone to rescue these hostages.
On one hand, I was somewhat relieved. Hu Shi and Hu Hai weren"t dead. They were still alive. Yi had mentioned that the demonic sects had abducted them to suck their yin qi essence for cultivation purposes, so I had vaguely believed that they had been killed quite some time ago. I was hoping against hope, but with the chances of that being so bleak, I had never really thought about it, especially since I was preoccupied with my own suffering.
But with hope came despair. For because they were still alive, they could be instantly killed, right now, right in front of my eyes.
How long had they been keeping these guys alive? Then…are the other abductees still alive? What"s going to happen to them?
A sense of dread was swirling within me, mingling with the uncomfortable sensations of something crawling under my skin.
I had to hand it to him. Ba Yun was a master of making my skin crawl.
"Wuu…"
"Help me…"
I watched helplessly as Hu Shi and Hu Hai cried, their tears streaming down their cheeks as they realized their doom.
"Why?"
I managed.
"Why what?"
Ba Yun looked at me derisively and I found that I wasn"t able to shape my question coherently. I didn"t know how to give voice to the anger and vortex of emotions that were threatening to overflow in my mind.
"…why can"t you just spare them?"
"Spare them? Why would I do that?" Ba Yun barked out in harsh laughter. Snorting, he curled his arms around the mother-child pair. "Even if I don"t kill them now, the Leader will be sucking their qi essence sooner rather than later. Either way, they"re dead. I"m being generous, you know. I"m letting you decide how they die."
"Let them go…please…"
"Why would I let them go?" Ba Yun threw his head back and guffawed. "Look at how much fun I"m having!"
"No…"
Closing my eyes briefly, I clenched my teeth and steeled my will. Fire seemed to blaze in my eyes as I opened them and glared at Ba Yun murderously.
"Let them go."
"Ah, yes!" Ba Yun was enjoying every minute of this, gleefully rubbing his hands. "This is how it should be! The fire! It"s back in your eyes! Only when you"re fighting back like this, would it totally be worth crushing and breaking your heart and spirit!"
"Don"t touch them!"
"You seem to be mistaking something."
Ba Yun grabbed hold of Hu Hai. Black qi dripped out of his fingers and turned into a blade that cut the squirming child"s skin. Hu Hai"s eyes widened and he whimpered as blood flowed down his neck and stained his white collar.
"You"re in no position to make any demands."
"f.u.c.k you!" I shouted. Straining against the cuffs, I desperately fought against my restraints but they held firm. If I could just get free, I would sock him as hard as I could and grab the kid from his grasp. But I couldn"t. I was fastened firmly to the chair, unable to budge even a single step forward. "Let them go! If you harm them, I"ll kill you! I"ll f.u.c.king kill you!"
"Oh? And how will you do that?" Ba Yun sounded genuinely curious. He pressed his fingers closer to Hu Hai"s carotid artery and the poor boy whimpered in pain.
"Hai"er!" Hu Shi cried out. I went still, shutting my mouth and freezing at the horrifying sight. Swallowing, I lowered my head.
"Please…"
"Hmm? I can"t hear you."
"Please…I"m begging you…please let these two go."
Ba Yun strode over and backhanded me. My head was flung back forcefully, and I tasted blood. Inside my face, something burst, something that was once living and feeding off my qi and body. I jerked in my chair, a metallic taste filling my mouth.
"Wrong. That"s not the answer I want to hear."
Even as he said that, he was actually smiling and savoring every moment of my defiance. He grabbed the top of my head and yanked it up. I clenched my teeth and refused to let out a sound even as he tightened the grip around my skull.
"So…which one do you choose? Who should die?"
"T…that"s…"
I was gritting my teeth so hard my jaw ached. I glared at him, my trembling hands clenched into fists.
"Oh, this is so hilarious. You sacrificed yourself to save the village that this two are from, didn"t you? Standing up against me and Qi Fu Ren, all so that you can buy time for the villagers to escape. It was so amusing, especially when you"ve already failed."
"…you"ve already captured these two long before I arrived in the village."
"Yes…ah, I see you know that. Nonetheless, I also learned that there"s some sort of fate connecting you with these two. It was Heaven"s will, you know? I never would have thought that you had been in that village before. Not until I happened to overhear the prisoners talking a few days after I let slip that I have been playing with a new toy. I never would have thought that you have some an intimate connection with the sacrifices we"ve gathered!"
"You sick b.a.s.t.a.r.d…I swear…if I ever get out of these cuffs, I"ll f.u.c.king kill you. You"ll regret this…I swear!"
"Ha ha! More!"
Ba Yun cuffed me at the back of my head, sending me sprawling forward in my seat. My restraints were the only thing holding me back, preventing me from totally toppling onto the floor. I briefly wondered if that would be better, if I were to just lie on the floor. Would I be able to escape this terrible reality then?
"So?" Ba Yun licked his lips as he pulled my head back up by the hair, the roots almost tearing free from my scalp. "Which one?"
"You…" I gritted my teeth. "You f.u.c.ker…I"ll kill you!"
"No, no, no. I"m the one doing the killing today. And you"ll be the one doing the choosing. Now, choose!"
"I…" I was hyperventilating right now. My throat constricted and I squeezed my eyes shut, all resistance fleeing me. I was helpless, unable to fight back, unable to do anything. Even if I yelled and pleaded, I knew Ba Yun wouldn"t listen to me. "…I won"t…do it…"
"If you don"t decide, then I"ll kill both of them." Ba Yun"s voice was cold and final. There was a slight smirk when he spoke again. "Or perhaps it would help if I rephrase the question?
He placed a hand on my shoulder and leaned closer to whisper into my ear in mock kindness.
"Which one do you want to save?"
"I…I…I…"
"Fei Wu."
At Hu Shi"s soft voice, I slowly raised my head. She was mouthing something.
Choose Hai"er.
She was telling me to save Hu Hai. Her maternal instincts were kicking in, and she wanted nothing more than to protect her child.
Even if it meant her death.
"You"ll just kill them both anyway. You"re only toying with me. I know you have no intention of letting either live."
"Perhaps…perhaps not. How would you know? Either way, their deaths will be on your conscience, all because you refuse to choose."
"f.u.c.k you," I spat and squeezed my eyes shut.
"Oh…scary. So I"m a.s.suming you want to be responsible for both their deaths?"
"Why don"t you just kill me?"
My voice was bitter as I tried one last act of defiance. I was growing desperate, and my mind was slowly unraveling.
"Kill me in their place. Instead of killing either of them…kill me instead. That should satisfy you, right?"
"Hah…" Ba Yun sighed exaggeratedly. "There is no meaning to killing you like this. No, for defying us, death would be too easy." He chuckled throatily, still leaning so close that I could feel his fetid breath tickling my ear. "Your punishment must be more severe."
"No…I"m begging you…don"t kill either of them."
It wasn"t as simple as making a choice and allowing Hu Hai to live. I would be sacrificing his mother for that. In other words, I would be killing Hu Shi.
That wasn"t a choice I could live with. It was impossible. I wasn"t a murderer. Prior to this, I had never killed a living human with my bare hands. Magical beasts and demonic creatures were one thing. I had to kill them in order to survive, but…
…but they weren"t human.
How can I kill a fellow human being? How can I make a choice that determines a fellow human being"s life and death?
I can"t.
Impossible. This is impossible!
"Hey, hurry up."
Ba Yun was getting impatient. He turned around to face me, putting on a gentle and kind façade. But I could see the murderous malice shining through his dark eyes. He placed both his hands on my shoulders.
"If you don"t decide quickly, I"ll really kill both of them, you know?"
"No…please…"
"Then hurry up and choose. The brat? The mother?"
My eyes widened. My mouth opened and I tried to speak, but at first nothing came out. My throat wasn"t able to form any words.
"..."
"Hmm?" Ba Yun pressed relentlessly.
"f.u.c.k you…"
I gritted my teeth.
"…if you harm either one of them, I swear I will kill you! I don"t care how, but one day, I"ll definitely escape and avenge their deaths. You mark my words, I"ll…"
Ba Yun straightened up and glared at me. For a moment, he was rock still, as if he couldn"t believe the answer I gave.
Then a vein twitched in his temple and he glared at me.
"I"m not asking you about that bulls.h.i.t!"
He stepped forward and grabbed me by my hair again, shaking me violently, causing me to rock in my chair.
"What"s your reply? Hmm? Answer my question, hey! Decide! Decide! Decide quickly! Don"t be such a wuss, hey!"
"Shut the f.u.c.k up!" I yelled. "I already told you, if you have to kill someone, kill me instead!"
"And I told you it"ll be too simple! You deserve a far worse punishment than death!" Ba Yun roared back as he kicked me so hard that I fell over, the chair and all. The rivets that bolted the chair to the ground had given out under the tremendous impact and the furniture fell over, taking me along with it. I grunted as the back of my head hit the rough floor.
"…"
Ba Yun fell silent for a moment, and then he sighed.
"Whoops. Looks like I lost my cool for a bit there. Sorry about that."
He then righted the chair, bringing me back up to an upright position. Shaking his head, he dusted me off with his hands, his paws slapping hard against my body. I jolted from the impacts, but didn"t utter a sound of pain.
G.o.d…end this already. Please…I beg You, end this…
Both Hu Shi and Hu Hai watched in silence, their eyes wide as they struggled to comprehend what had just happened. I raised my head wearily and met their gaze.
I can"t let them die.
They took care of me when I was on the verge of death, giving me a place to stay and helping to nurse me back to health after my fight against the Hydra. I couldn"t let them die. I had to find a way to save them, to save the both of them, no matter the cost.
Even if I had to offer my life in exchange.
"…just kill me, and let them go. Please…"
Ba Yun paused as he studied me, then he straightened up with a smile.
"I see. All right then. I understand."
He then strode over to Hu Shi, who flinched and wept quietly. But the lady had already steeled herself, having resolved to die in her son"s place.
"Brat, watch closely."
"No…" I murmured, my eyes wide and wet with tears.
"..."
Hu Hai, despite his youth, also understood what was going on. He bit his lips as he fought to hold back a sob, tears streaming down his face. He clenched his fists and cried, his body shaking.
"…Senior Ba Yun."
To my surprise, someone else had entered the room. It was none other than Qi Fu Ren. Even the bully seemed sick to his stomach at what was transpiring inside here.
"Don"t you think you"re going too far? These commoners are sacrifices for the sect leader. You can"t just take them and kill them on your own."
"They"re going to die either way, what difference does that make? As long as you don"t tell anyone, who would know?"
"That"s not the point." Qi Fu Ren took a deep breath and clenched his fists. "Don"t you think your actions are too depraved? No matter the circ.u.mstances, to kill the kid"s mother in front of him is just…"
I never thought I would see the day Qi Fu Ren stand up for other people. He was a bully who loved to pick on the weak, to establish his superiority so that he could wallow in his self-perceived sense of superiority.
It was probably a testament to just how depraved and how far gone Ba Yun was, to the extent that even a bully was sickened to his stomach by his horrible actions.
"…huh?"
Ba Yun twitched as he turned to glare back at Qi Fu Ren. The bully didn"t seem at all intimidated as he stood his ground.
"Say that again, Qi Fu Ren?"
"I said you"re going too far," Qi Fu Ren replied fearlessly. "I enjoy your abuse and torture of Fei Wu, don"t get me wrong, you"re doing an amazing job of breaking down his indomitable spirit. But you shouldn"t drag others into this. That kid and his mother have nothing to do with Fei Wu. There is no reason to torture and kill them."
"Are you not listening to anything I said? This mother-son pair have intimate connections with that loser over there. I heard them talking, you know? They were the ones who took care of him and housed him when he ended up half-dead in their village."
"I don"t mean that…I mean, there is no reason to torture people other than Fei Wu himself…"
"Hey, junior." Ba Yun was turning to face him fully now, his fury washing out in a sea of hostile qi, as he emphasized on their difference in status. "Are you telling me what to do?"
"I just…"
"They"re both going to die later, either sacrificed to our great leader or killed by me. Isn"t it mercy on my part if I end their misery sooner rather than later? Aren"t you being a hypocrite? You know their fates. What"s the difference if they die now or if they die later, huh?"
"That"s not…"
"Are you getting cold feet now, hmm? Newbie? Did you suddenly realize you have a conscience and can"t bear to kill innocents? It"s too late, isn"t it? Your hands are already stained with the blood of innocents."
Ba Yun glowered at Qi Fu Ren, who fell silent, unable to rebut him.
"I know what you did. The promising newbie…with an amazing reputation when he officially joined the Chinese Parasol Tree Sect. Weren"t you the one who killed your own lackeys, hmm? And now you"re getting cold feet and telling me not to kill?"
"I"m not telling you not to kill anyone," Qi Fu Ren protested. "But…but even if you have to kill someone, at least…at least make it quick. There is no sense in torturing them like this." he turned to look at me scornfully. "Fei Wu is different. He deserves to be tortured. He doesn"t deserve a quick, easy death. But…" He turned to glance back at the mother-son pair. "Those two are innocent. If you want to kill them, make it as painless as possible."
"Painless as possible? What do you mean painless as possible, huh?! Death is still death, isn"t it?!"
Then suddenly Ba Yun chuckled in understanding.
"Oh, earlier you said something about killing the kid"s mother in front of him, didn"t you? Is that what"s making you uncomfortable? The order of who dies first?"
With a single motion, Ba Yun seized Hu Hai by his neck and lifted the poor kid off his feet. Twisting his flailing captive about, he began strangling the choking boy.
"How about this? If I do this, then the brat doesn"t have to watch his mother die! Is this better? Huh?!"
"Hai"er!"
Hu Shi"s cry of despair was lost in Ba Yun"s rage and violence.
"How about this? Eh?"
"Senior Ba Yun, wait!"
"ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!"
There were painful and ominous cracks that snapped through the vast interior s.p.a.ce of the room.
"Hai"er!!!!"
Hu Shi was screaming now, trying to reach out, but unable to help her child. I watched, stunned and horrified at the brutality that was unfolding before me, helpless and useless.
"Senior, that"s enough…! Stop!"
"DON"T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
Ba Yun was bellowing thunderously now even as his grip tightened and crushed the choking and sobbing Hu Hai"s trachea.
"I DECIDE WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS ROOM! THIS ROOM IS MY TERRITORY! MINE! MINE! I DECIDE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN HERE!"
He threw Hu Hai"s lifeless corpse onto the ground and stalked off, shoving Qi Fu Ren to the side. Even the bully looked aghast at what had just transpired.
"You…"
"What?" Ba Yun snarled at him, but Qi Fu Ren didn"t rise to the bait and merely respectfully maintained his distance.
Ba Yun then came a stop somewhere in the middle of his room and let out a holler.
"See what you"ve done!? You ruined my fun! You"ve ruined everything! Ah, f.u.c.k! f.u.c.k this s.h.i.t! f.u.c.k!"
While he was raving and ranting, Hu Shi crawled over to Hu Hai"s body and wrapped her arms around him.
"Hai"er…ah…Hai"er…"
She began sobbing.
"Uuu…ugh…why, Hai"er? Why? Heavens, why must you be so…?"
Ba Yun turned his feverish, demonic gaze on her, something in his mind snapping.
"Uuu…"
Even as Hu Shi wept, he slowly stomped toward her. Then with a single flick of his arm, he materialized a shadow blade from his arm and stabbed her in the chest, gouging her heart out and flinging her into the air in a spray of blood.
"You"re too noisy!"
My jaw dropped open and my eyes widened when I witnessed the brutal murder. My hands fought against the restraints, but I was unable to break myself free.
"I"ll kill you…I"ll kill you…I"LL KILL YOU!"
I was screaming incoherently and glaring at Ba Yun murderously. Thrashing about on my seat, I yelled and raged against the f.u.c.king b.a.s.t.a.r.d.
"I"ll definitely kill you, you f.u.c.king b.a.s.t.a.r.d! You"ll regret this! I swear, I"ll make you regret this, even if it"s the last thing I do! I swear I"ll kill you! I swear, you"ll regret this! Just you wait, I"ll definitely…!"
By now I was raving and ranting crazily, aware that my threats were meaningless. That I did not possess the power to carry out what I was yelling incoherently at the psychotic b.a.s.t.a.r.d.
"Yeah, yeah."
Ba Yun was leaving the room and dismissing my empty threats. With a wave of his hand, he didn"t even glance back at me before he left his room.
"Do your best, loser."
Before he stepped out, however, he paused. With one hand on the door, he sneered.
"And before you start yelling and raging at me, think about this, you trash. This is all your fault. All your fault for being a hypocrite."
Then he shut me inside the room with the corpses of my benefactors.
"Ugh…ah…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Letting loose an impotent howl of fury, I struggled against my cuffs and restraints one last time, but as usual, my lack of strength of qi prevented me from doing anything.
"…I never meant for this to happen."
Qi Fu Ren looked at both of the corpses and shut his eyes. Then he stepped forward and placed both mother and child together, granting them at least a dignified burial of some sorts. Not that it held any meaning.
By the next day, Ba Yun would have some servant or subordinate come in and clear the bodies, and they would be dumped unceremoniously together with all the other victims that the Chinese Parasol Tree Sect had ma.s.sacred.
Hypocrite? Who"s the true hypocrite? What"s the point of granting them this burial when you"re going to sacrifice them…going to kill them anyway?
No…this is my fault. It"s all my fault for being useless. If I wasn"t such a weak, useless trash, I would have been able to save them…
All those ideals of justice, of virtue and honor…they were useless in a place like this. Ba Yun was right. Those with strength got to decide what virtue and justice was. Anyone without the strength to back up their lofty ideals would remain just talkers, spewing meaningless words that had no concrete reality behind them.
"You do realize this is your fault, don"t you?" Qi Fu Ren sneered. I said nothing, and Qi Fu Ren continued. "It"s all because trash like you existed. If you"ve never existed, this mother and child would never have died. If you"ve never existed, I wouldn"t have been reduced into a fugitive, a criminal who has to throw his lot in with a demonic sect. If you"ve never existed, nothing bad will happen in this world. Everything is on you."
He kicked me before striding out of the room.
And…once again, I was left alone in the dark bas.e.m.e.nt, with nothing to accompany me but death.