Proofread by Yin Jing

It never occurs to Heaven li that things should turn so embarra.s.sed when he meets the disguised gentlemen again, and in such a situation that he lies on his belly on a board! "Oh my G.o.d and G.o.dness, although I never believe in you, please give me a place to hide!"

"Do you know each other?" The Marquis looks at his daughters in bewilderment

The elder girl blushes, and before she could say anything, the younger one rushes, "Oh my G.o.d! Daddy, do you know who he is? He is Heaven Li, the genius who has played the "miraculous song" and written "Beauties in the West"! Moreover, he is the philanthropist behind Palace of Art and Fragrance, for which you have left an inscription on its plaque!"

w.a.n.g Ping is surprised. The guy lying on the board before him is the initiator of that benefaction? He is sort of happy, "You are a philanthropist? Well, good, pretty good. Give him a seat."

Hey geezer, what"s his problem? If he is able to sit, he won"t just lie on a board! "My Lord, but how ...?"

"Ah! Hmm, you can keep lying. These are my daughters, the elder one named Ruyan and the younger one named Ruyu." The Marquis really feels embarra.s.sed.

"Dad, why do you tell your daughters" name to others!" Ruyu pouts angrily. 

Ruyan and Ruyu, like the mist and the jade? Well, their names are good enough, and their appearances are even better.

"Misses, nice to meet you." Heaven says politely.

"Meet? When have you met each other?" The Marquis looks at Heaven in bewilderment.

"Oh, well, no, I mean..." Gosh, has this old guy gotten kicked in the head by a donkey?

"Dad…Ah! Li, just ignore him. My dad is a military man and etiquette is not his forte. Please make yourself comfortable." Ruyan is much more considerate.

"Thank you, Miss. But there is kind of authority in our Marquis, it is hard for those literati to exceed. Indeed, literature can rule the country, but it will be pointless without the a.s.sistance of the army. The prosperity of our nation must be supported by generals. Without military officials, no matter how wealthy a country is, it can only wait for the enemies" occupation." A little flattery is necessary--- once he cottons up to the Marquis, it will be easier for him to coax his daughters!

As expected, hearing this, w.a.n.g Ping is so excited that he pounds on the table. "Awesome! That"s music to my ears! I never thought that a kid could have such a deep comprehension of the function of generals and literati! Hey, literati are just bulls.h.i.t, forget the exam and work with me! With such wits, you can start from being a Baihu, which enables you to manage a hundred families!"

Gosh! With such intelligence, no wonder he is not match for those civil officials.

"Daddy! How can you make a decision like this! How can a literary prodigy like Li spends his career with you? No, I will never agree with that.

"You are a girl. You know nothing of that."

"Neither do I. How can a literary prodigy condescend to lift stone lock every day!"

The daughters row with their father respectively.

"They don"t agree? Who are they, my acquaintances? Do they have a crush on me? Well, according to my experience, this is the beginning of falling in love with someone."

"Uh-huh! Let"s calm down. Can I have your attention, please?"

The father and the daughters turn to see Heaven immediately, who lies on his belly on the board. Ruyan and Ruyu blush.

"Fine. Now you have two options: work with me, or with those acidulous literati?"

d.a.m.n, this old guy must have been a Mafia in his prelife! What he said comes out in a bossy tone!

"My Lord, as far as I"m concerned, only when generals know how to strategize, can they determine the final outcome in the future. Therefore, literati are not worthless. Only being adept with both the pen and the sword is the kingly way."

w.a.n.g Ping walks around Heaven three times: "You know tactics?"

"Why does this old guy keep walking around me while speaking? I don"t think he will have any interest in my a.s.s!" Having been a military fan, Heaven acquires all the military knowledge from movies and books. "My Lord, I just know a little about it, a tiny little..."

"All right. Let"s have a wargame. If you win, you can go to the capital city to take the final exam, otherwise, you shall report to my camp. Four days will be given for you to make preparations, at that time your a.s.s shall almost heal too."

Before Heaven can continue, w.a.n.g Ping has hurriedly reached a conclusion. It seems that he feels like getting a military talent.

"Daddy, you are bullying him!" Ruyu seems very dissatisfied.

"That"s settled then. Send Mr. Li back to take a rest." Before Heaven can say anything, he is lifted.

Lying on the big bed, Heaven is preoccupied with things like "trench warfare" and "mine warfare" - maybe some methods in modern military methods can be applied in ancient times?

Early the next morning, the doctor smears balm on Heaven"s wound. According to the renowned doctor, Heaven"s injuries are all external. The wound has healed, so Heaven can walk after the swelling is relieved. This is the last time to apply medicine, after that he just needs to take some drugs.

With an a.s.s full of medicine, Heaven has to expose his a.s.s to the air.

The door is creaking open. It must be those peeping maids coming to watch the fun! d.a.m.n, you have seen it lots of times!

"Come. Stretch my back and help promote my blood circulation, so that I can get on my feet earlier!"

For a moment there is a no sound, so Heaven looks up. Alas! He finds Ruyan standing there, surprised, with a few books in her hand. Heaven"s voice raises a brush on her cheek. "I, I come to give you some military books! … I put them here!" With that, Ruyan puts down the books and runs out of the door.

Before Heaven can change his expression, he hears a voice outside. "Why does sis run so fast?" Then the footsteps are approaching.

"Ah! Don"t come in, Ruyu, please!" How shameful it is if both of the sisters see his a.s.s!

"Humph! Why should I listen to you! Of course I will come in! Oh! You… you b.a.s.t.a.r.d! Why don"t you tell me earlier? d.a.m.n it!" Fine, this one runs away, too.

Tell you earlier? How can I tell you my privacy? I shall take revenge by looking at yours after I rise to my feet, otherwise the loss will be too much for me!

Three days pa.s.sed. Finally Heaven is able to take a little walk. With the help of maids, he puts on new clothes. Undoubtedly, Heaven flirts with them in return for the exposure of his a.s.s. Ox-headed and Horse-faced, you can"t record this on the Register of Life and Death! Because Confucius once said, "Food and s.e.x are human nature!" As soon as Heaven recovers, someone comes to find fault with him.

"Get out, all of you! Don"t come in unless I ask you."

 "Yes, Misses."

Seeing these two aggressive beauties, Heaven wonders what they want to do--- the worst he can imagine is rape, but that"s impossible! Absolutely impossible! Heaven knows there are no pennies from heaven, so do they plan to kill the witness? Well, that is much more possible. In this era, if news of a Marquis"s daughter seeing a man"s a.s.s spreads out, there will be a serious consequence.

"Li!" "b.a.s.t.a.r.d!" The girls call out at the same time, with Ruyan saying the former and Ruyu the latter.

"Hum…Well, who you are calling? Heaven or b.a.s.t.a.r.d?"

Ruyan glances at her younger sister. "Li, I tell you, you must keep the thing … the thing in that day a secret! Otherwise…!"

"Do you hear that?" Adds Ruyu.

"Well, it is a fine day today, but I have never remembered what happened that day."

"Humph! You are clever." Ruyu puffs out her chest, with her hands resting on her hips. Ah, this young girl is so s.e.xy! My G.o.d, I"m just thinking of it.

"Then! It"s … um… it"s the day after tomorrow that our father will play a wargame with you. Are you sure to give up your golden career and work with him as a military man?" Ruyan is too shy to look at Heaven. Well, she is much more considerate to me, so she will be my first target!

"Oh, that"s difficult. As a subject I have to obey my Lord, but maybe I won"t lose."

"Humph, pigs might fly if you win!" It seems that Ruyu has a great deal of confidence in her father.

"I will burn the midnight oil to read some military books, but!"

"But what?" Two girls ask simultaneously.

"But you"d better give me a hand tonight." Oh, his secret plan for picking up girls begins!

"In your dreams!" The sisters blurt out. They are right. It"s really a little bit hard to come to a man"s room at midnight.

"Can you bear to see a promising literary prodigy like me being wasted by the Marquis?"

"We can help you now." Says Ruyan.

"What I want to do is to practice tactics in the evening with the guidance of you two, like what"s your father"s favorite formation and what"s its solution? You"d better come to find your father and fish for information!"

"Humph! Any…anyhow I won"t come! Sis, I should go." Saying this, Ruyu runs away.

"Sis, wait! I, I should leave too." Before leaving, Ruyan takes a look at Heaven.

A crafty smile comes to Heaven"s face. He knows well that Ruyan will definitively come tonight.

When the moon hung behind the willows, young people went out on dates under them. "h.e.l.l, how can our ancestors write such a cla.s.sical poem?"

Time pa.s.ses moment by moment, and Heaven starts to worry. His plan for tonight will come to ruins if Ruyan doesn"t show up here. He will also have to postpone the plan for cultivating beauties!

"Tap-tap-tap!" Eventually Heaven hears three knocks at the door.

Seeing Ruyan standing at the door, Heaven feels like hugging her. "Miss Ruyan, come in please!"

"I just come to tell you something about the situation, after that I will leave." Ruyan says with a blush.

Ruyan enters the room. Ah, even a fool can detect her clumsy lie! Her lovely face goes as red as a little peach blossom, while her heart is beating so furiously that even Heaven can hear it.

Heaven folds her hands in his. "Thank you, Ruyan. Having such a confidante as you, my life is enough."

"Ah! You! I am not your confidante!" Ruyan promptly takes her hand away in a panic.

Heaven doesn"t mind. He turns around, moves across to the desk, on which his prepared "tool" is placed, that is, a painting of "The Three Variations on Plum Blossom". Heaven reaches for it and says, "Ruyan, that"s a gift to show my appreciation."

Ruyan comes to him questioningly. Instead of taking the painting, she only reads the inscription in a low voice:

"The first variation on plum blossom is heartbreaking,

The second variation on plum blossom is thought-demanding,

The third variation on plum blossom is surging,

Deep in the mist is the boundless water.

Can somebody tell me,

What is love supposed to be?

That makes me hold no fear in the face of death.

With your absence, my existence is meaningless on earth."

Alas, from Ruyan"s expression, Heaven knows well that she has been spellbound.

"Li, did you write this?" Ruyan eyes Heaven amazedly.

"Ah, yeah. It"s only me who can write this in this word." 

"Li, you are prodigiously talented. Thanks for your painting." Ruyan folds up the painting carefully.

"So now you have been my confidante."

Once again Heaven holds Ruyan"s hands. The girl struggles slightly. Seeing that Heaven doesn"t let her go, she feels her neck starting to get a little red. Heaven takes such an advantage. Stretching out his right arm, he holds Ruyan in his arms.

"Ah … Li! Please no … ah!"

Without saying a word, Heaven kisses Ruyan"s lips. As for these girls who have their first crush, it"s better to strike first. Otherwise, there may be numerous love tests waiting for you!

After a while, Heaven finishes the kiss reluctantly. "Ruyan, you are mine now! I shall marry you."

"At first you shall let me go!" Nervous and shy, Ruyan hides her face in Heaven"s arms.

 "Only if you promise me."

Ruyan nods lightly. Gosh, I"m half way there. So long as the second step is completed, then it will end successfully.

Heaven releases Ruyan, who immediately grabs the painting and runs to the door. She says in a low voice, "Sis is right. You are a b.a.s.t.a.r.d! I … I will neglect you!" Then she opens the door, running outside.

"Ruyan, don"t go! We haven"t completed the second step! Ouch! My d.a.m.ned a.s.s!" With the wound still aching, Heaven stumbles slowly to the yard, only to find Ruyan disappears into the night.

Hey, I shall go. It"s almost done and haste does not bring success! Just as Heaven turns around, he finds a shadow facing him.

"Gosh!" With a flop Heaven sits down on the ground, which causes great pain on his b.u.t.tock. "Ouch!" He manages to get to his feet again.