Xu Zhi peers at the cuts around the bandage beneath Zhou Wen Wu’s collar and sees that they are bloated and white – a sign that they have not been kept dry or tended well. Remembering that she has vomited on him, she figures that he must have hurriedly showered before rushing over. Before she can think further, he has caught her wrist and pressed her hand over his wound. “Aren’t you going to examine me carefully?”
Obediently, she leans in take a closer look but a dizzy spell hits her and she falls face-face onto his wound. Zhou Wen Wu quickly cup the back of her head as they lost balance and tumble onto the bed. With one hand trap between the bed and her head, he turns to his side and asks urgently. “Xu Zhi, are you alright?”
Her face is pale with a line of perspiration on her forehead which clues him in that her headache may be acting up again. On second look, he takes in the way her soft hair spreads out on the mattress, her dazed look, which reminds him of an innocent young lady who lost her way. He spends several minutes just looking at her and when she did not break eye contact, he leans forward and gently presses his lips on hers.
They stay like that for several minutes as he makes no effort to take things further. In the past, he would be consumed by anxiety at this stage and finding it difficult to continue. But it is not the case tonight and he is more curious if his luck is going to hold until he can finally establish a connection with her.
Tilting his face slightly, he suckles her lip gently and when she did not resist, he slips his tongue inside. Looking into her dazed eyes, he continues to probe until he feels her responding. Encouraged, he slips his free hand between them to unfasten her robe.
His eyes turns a little bloodshot, his breathing a little ragged, as his hands discover the curves beneath his body. He has the urge to kiss her all over but he cannot bear to leave her lips just yet so it was a while before he finally draws away from her lips that have turned a ruby red …. and sees her unfocused eyes. He has this sudden bad feeling. “Xu Zhi, who am I?”
When she only smiles at him dumbly, his pa.s.sion drops another 3 notches. She has not changed position ever since she has fallen onto the bed and he cannot help but wonder it this is a result of the meds she took? Did it sap her strength and dulled her senses? She may have responded to his kisses but if it is any other person, would her reaction be still the same? “Xu Zhi!”
Biting down his anger, he forces himself to sit up and tugs unceremoniously to close her collar and help her put on more layers of clothing until she is modestly covered. Level-headed, he sees that her eyes are no longer as dazed as a moment ago, as if she too, is fighting to regain control of her mind. “Sun Shi Yang….”
Zhou Wen Wu darkens at her murmur. What kind of person is she to be thinking of Sun Shi Yang at this time?
“…cured the headache of Xing Guan by cutting open his head. Just a short mention that cues me to his existence. But no one I have asked has never heard of Xing Guan or Sun Shi Yang. Isn’t it strange? Does this Sun Shi Yang even exist in the same universe as us?”
Zhou Wen Wu recalls a remark made by that the old Wei doctor earlier this morning. According to the doctor, her headache is hard to cure unless someone can cut open her head although there is no known way for doing so without killing the patient.
The old doctor has only brought it up because he has heard about such a procedure from another doctor who heard of this possibility from a patient he met in Xi Xuan. Undoubtly, Zhou Wen Wu figures that patient must have been Xu Zhi so where did she come up with such an idea? If he is correct, she could just be the first person to come up with this revolutionary cure. “Xu Zhi, is there no other way to cure your headache besides cutting your head open?”
“Hmm? Where on earth is Sun Shi Yang?”
Zhou Wen Wu cannot recall if there is a doctor among all the Sun Shi Yangs he has ordered to be killed, and he finds that he cannot quite find it in him to confess. Or tell her to give up searching for Sun Shi Yang. “Xu Zhi, you should delay the construction of your tomb. You are young and will surely have a long road ahead of you. Why are you in such a hurry to finish its construction?”
He stares at her and she stares at him. Finally, a corner of her mouth quirks upwards. “I must finish it. That is my final….”
She dozes off before she can complete the sentence, leaving a frustrated Zhou Wen Wu to wonder over the possibilities. Is she trying to say “my final resting place”? Just thinking about it makes him feel like killing someone. Why is his life always like this? Why do things never go the way that he wants it to be?
He did not miss the smugness in her smile, almost as if she has a secret that no one else is privy to. What is there to be smug about when she is about to die!? Thinking that he is better off if he doesn’t see this infuriating woman, he pushes her face away until it is buried against his chest. This position may cause his wound to throb but he doesn’t care as he closes his eyes.
He is peeved by the extent of his protectiveness towards her and wonders when did it start. He has been prepared to face death ever since he has failed to take the throne, but why is he unable to accept the fact that she may die before him? R
ecalling a time when he is not always consumed by anger and injustice, he wonders if Xu Zhi would have looked at him differently if he has not changed from an amiable to angry man? If she does not have a bunch of a.s.sistants around her, if he does not have a mansion of concubines and wives, could they have been another Li Rong Ji and Xu Da?
Ignoring the pain from his chest, he tightens his hold on her and fell asleep.
Anger, sorrow, pain…. these emotions weigh heavily on his heart while his body soars upwards into the blue sky. At some point, he makes an abrupt u-turn and charges down, towards the rivers and mountains that rush up to meet him.
There is nothing more left for him. Nothing left for him to care because he has lost everything. Someone on the ground sees the giant bird plunging from the sky and shouted something. But he cannot hear the words, does not care, as he crashes unerringly onto a tombstone.
Then there is only silence.
Zhou Wen Wu opens his eyes while his heart is still shuddering at the never-ending darkness and silence. He is panting slightly and his heart is pumping crazily as it relieves the last few moments of the giant bird.
Rather than to say that he has seen what happened to the giant bird, it is been more accurate to say that he is the bird in the dream, feeling its emotions, and even when he is awake at this moment, he can feel the sweat on his forehead.
He shifts his position and feels the weight of someone in his arms. Looking down, he sees Xu Zhi, a living, breathing Xu Zhi. He can smell her familiar scent, which he can now guess why she has not changed for decades unlike her dressing as it is likely a herbal concoction to help her to relax. He gathers her close and reminds himself that this is reality. The bird may have died in the dream, but in real life, Xu Zhi is still alive.
Almost as if someone is listening outside the room for its occupants to awaken, a faint glow appears from the other side of the bed curtain. Zhou Wen Wu has intentionally spent the night in Xu Zhi’s room because he wants to know the person who is coming to her bedroom and waited with leashed anger as the answer is about to reveal.
He throws on his robe careless and steps out from behind the bed curtain. His anger subsides somewhat when he sees that the intruder is Tong Mo and he takes his time to dress, completely oblivious to her presence. He remembers her – the mute girl from Wu family, who was a.s.signed to serve Xu Zhi in the end. Years back when the Wu family has collapse, the late Emperor has ordered that all the men in the Wu family are to become beggers while the womenfolk turn to prost.i.tutes. What was the late Emperor thinking when he decided to plant a useless mute beside Xu Zhi, after beating her till she lost her voice in prison?
Tong Mo is unaffected at being treated like air and pa.s.ses a note at him.
Did Da Gu Niang drank the medicine?
When he did not reply, she pa.s.ses him another slip.
Since Da Gu Niang takes you as a bedmate, it reflects on your capability if you can make her drink Bai Hua’s medicine. It is also your capability if you can bring her pleasure. I do not care what you can benefit from her in the process but if you dare use her to harm His Majesty, just know that no one in his household will tolerate it.
If Zhou Wen Wu has turned sinister when he sees the words “bedmate”, his mood has turned murderous by the time he finished reading the paper. What the…. “Who do you think you are?! Do you have a habit of threatening every man she goes to bed with?” At the thought that Xu Zhi could have other bed partners, his rage boils over and he picks up a bundle of clothes near the bed with the intention of throwing them on the floor.
At the very last minute, he remembers Xu Zhi who is finally sleeping soundly after goodness knows how long, and forces himself to lower his hand while he points Tong Mo to the door.
Long after the mute has left, Zhou Wen Wu is still seething over “bedmate” remark. Since he birth, since when has he suffered such grave insult? Him, who has a stable of concubines? Besides, who else have touched Xu Zhi before?
The thought give rise to murderous thoughts again and he clenches his hand. A hard object among the clothes caught his attention and he unearths it to see that it is a lover’s knot affixed with a jade pendant. Has she intended to give it to someone? His brother? Jiang Jiu? That young chap, Jiu Xing? His dream came back to haunt him and he recalls the feeling of fear, fury and the overwhelming despair at the lost of a presence he will never find again, no matter how far he flies.
Clenching his fist over the pendant, he catches sight of the things that Tong Mo has left on the table – fresh bandages and medical cream – which he walks over with every intention of applying on his wound. Crazy he may be, stupid he is not, as there is no reason to ill-treat his body when meds are available.
He is about to light the lamp when he remembers the sleeping woman behind him. Pausing, he extinguishes the match he has struck, and proceeds to change his dressing in complete darkness.