KKM Novel 7, Chapter 7
The random is strong in this chapter XD
Ill.u.s.tration found on Portrait of a Demon King.
Aiko Sixteen, sixteen sheep, Enatsu’s 21 Pitches. (1)
Because all the horses, cows and machos were rented out and there weren’t any other animals at hand, we on Team Caloria have no choice but to use sheep to pull our vehicle. In this world, four sheep equals the power of one horse so to reach the speed of a carriage pulled with four horses, we have roped together sixteen sheep.
“… It’s hopeless, this slow movement. Just looking at it is making me tired. Besides, I can’t even imagine sheep pulling a carriage. I can only imagine them eating paper.”
“What are you talking about, eh? ‘Seep’ are made for running eh, yeah.” (2)
That whip is definitely for sheep. It’s probably for sheep. It’s for sheep, right!?
“You say that, but I think the value of sheep is in their fur, Miss Mary. Ah, the value of a man isn’t in their fur, though. I don’t think these thin legs were made for running around in… whoa.”
“… M-muscles.”
“Whaddya think?”
The young Sheep Master had her hands on her hips and had a look of pride. Surrounded by about five sheep, Wolfram was screaming while they chewed on his blonde hair. The mother apologized to Flynn with a calm smile as she watched from afar.
No ma’am, I think she’s already pa.s.sed straight through ‘mischievous’ territory.
“If you cross over into another’s lane and get in the way of the ‘seep’ you’ll get kicked right into the sand eh, yeah. While you’re racing, the trick is to pa.s.s others on the outside, not the inside eh, yeah.”
“It’ll be fine! It’s 400,000 horse legs to the goal in Lambert. You’ll get the hang of it before you get all the way there,” Flynn said.
Even if we do miraculously figure this out before we get all the way there, if we don’t master this until we get near the goal it’ll be too late. Somehow we have to get the basics down today and learn at least the bare minimum to control the sheep.
“d.a.m.n, my head hurts.”
“Guhaah!”
“Hm, I can’t remember it. What was the pig’s name? Dave?”
“Babe?”
Let’s stop trying to use the Great Sage’s wisdom when it comes to animals. He grew up in an apartment after all. The only pets he’s had are angora guinea pigs and electronic pets. If you consider two mongrel dogs as the descendants of wolves, then I have a slight advantage when it comes to taming wild animals.
T-Zou, who had been by my side watching over my progress, slowly gets to her feet. The downy hair on her nose bristles and she lets out a war cry into the sky.
T-Zou learned a new song! Her repertoire has went up by one.
Fifteen sheep fall into step and move to the side. They form a perfect line in front of the non-magic-powered military tank, ‘So Light It’s Like a Dream.’
Light brown face with a white T-Zone. Her rectangular pupils always look like they’re laughing. Miss Mary jumps down from her boulder and starts petting the sheep team leader standing at the front.
The Queen of the Sheep gives a little ‘ehe~’ snort.
I’ve never even heard of it in stories. I don’t say that retort out loud. After encountering The Sheep Legend, Miss Mary is overcome with emotion.
“Whoohoo.”
“Okay, next is parallel parking eh! Things will be really crowded during the race eh, yeah.”
Parallel parking with sixteen sheep. It’s scary just thinking about it.
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(2) Mary is misp.r.o.nouncing the word for sheep, ‘hitsuji,’ and is instead saying ‘s.h.i.+tsuji’ which means butler. It is written in a way to signify that it is just how Mary says the word and it is not a pun. Actually, a few other people say ‘s.h.i.+tsuji’ as well so it seems to be part of the regional dialect. Anyway, because of how the ‘hi’ sound is p.r.o.nounced before a ‘t’ sound, ‘hitsuji’ does actually sound a lot like ‘s.h.i.+tsuji’ and it can sometimes be hard to hear the difference.
(4) To put it simply, Mutsugoro is like the j.a.panese Steve Irwin. He’s also known as Masanori Hata and he was the director of The Adventures of Milo and Otis. He’s an animal lover and researcher who did all sorts of wacky stuff on TV, but he has also published numerous animal related essays and books, travels around the world a lot and also does a lot of animal paintings.
“Ugh… I messed around too much…”
While I was hunched over in a strange position eating breakfast, Murata designated me as the representative in the written contest.
“You’ll be able to read them if you take your time.”
“Lord von Bielefelt seems fairly high-strung. He probably has lovely penmans.h.i.+p. But s.h.i.+buya, how is it going to look if the representative for Caloria uses High Demon letters? Won’t that leave a bad impression on the examiner?”
I look at the back of Wolfram’s blonde head. Thanks to the frequent low blood pressure of pretty boys, he’s been sitting there collapsed on the table.
To put it rudely, it sucks.
“Your Majesty, this is hard to say, but while I was here in this country I didn’t receive anything like an education. Therefore, my knowledge is all from The Great Demon Kingdom’s military schools and the only books I’ve read lately arePoison Lady Anissina. I’m a grown adult and it still makes me so scared I don’t want to go use the bathroom.”
Considering that it’s a fighting tournament, if you want to win in the ‘skill’ section you can’t just send in regular old prodigies for the written test. Of course, there are probably a few in here who are accomplished in both martial and literary arts, but there is a high percentage of muscles and it feels like the entrance exam to a sports university or a meeting of the heads of all of the sports clubs.
“Hey! Hey let me say one last thing!”
“Are you listening!? No matter what happens, be proud of your country’s culture and education! Okay!? Don’t forget your pride!”
Murata’s voice echoed around the a.s.sembly hall. Everyone was now nodding with renewed determination. Don’t yell out such useful advice at the top of your lungs. If possible, I’d like you to secretly whisper it to me when the two of us are alone.
As soon as the scheduled time comes, some cheap paper was pa.s.sed around. On the top line there was only one short question printed. Just as I thought, I couldn’t read it right away. I discreetly close my eyes and run my finger along the question. Thanks to the archaic printing technique, the letters were slightly raised. What a relief. It looks like I’ll be able to decipher this. There’s no rule prohibiting ESP and other skills so this won’t be considered cheating.
“… History?”
This question isn’t of a level that has anything to do with me failing world history. There’s no way I’d know the history of s.h.i.+maron. Like I’d know! I’m fuzzy on my own country’s history – now both j.a.pan and The Great Demon Kingdom – so why would I be learning anything about other countries? I’m not proud of it, but I don’t even know the name of the president. Um, was it not a presidential government? When I look around, careful to move only my eyeb.a.l.l.s, I see that everyone around me is moving their pens. d.a.m.n it! This was really a gamble. All of you are probably those types that say ‘Man, I didn’t study at all’ but you actually study at home all the time. Ah, endless solitude. In this infinitely expanding universe, am I the only one who is unfamiliar with s.h.i.+maron’s history?
The scale is too big for the introduction to an explanation of a single country’s history.
s.h.i.+maron has never taken center stage in any of my history cla.s.ses. That’s only natural. There is no country like that on any continent on Earth. Maybe I should just make up something that sounds a lot like this place and pray that there’s some stuff that happens to match up. If it subjugated an entire continent, maybe I should use Napoleon as a model and then just change out all the p.r.o.nouns. Or maybe Alexander the Great.
I’m such an idiot.
“‘How to make delicious curry’… there. First, cut an onion into slices the width of a pinkie finger… and slowly fry them with oil in a frying pan until they turn golden brown…”
In order to fill up the huge answer section, I write every last ounce of knowledge I have. Garam masala, nutmeg, turmeric, naan bread, chapathi bread, pickled vegetables. Subtle seasonings of chocolate and instant coffee. The differences between Indian style curry and European curry and their deliciousness. The scientific theory about why it’s milder the next day, how to heat it if there are potatoes included, uses for leftover roux and how to store it, even why you must absolutely never feed curry to dogs. I’m pouring all of the curry trivia I’ve acc.u.mulated during my sixteen years of eating habits into this critical moment.
“Phew.”
“… Mm… huh… umm… This is… unique writing.”
“So you compared our country’s liberation and unification history as well as the influx of foreign cultures adding to our elevation to an even more advanced civilization to a local dish…?”
“Hm, splendid! You can leave immediately.”
“Seriously!”
“I wonder why.”
“Ahah, I see.”
“Ah!”
Be proud of your country’s culture and history. One more time. Beeeeeeeeee prooooooud oooooooof yoooouuuur coooooountry’s… including echoes.
“No, there’s no way. No way.”
“N-no way, no way, there’s just no way.”
It’s cloudy when I run outside and the area was full of parallel-parked racing vehicles. Each team had their own lead animals tethered up.
“Hey!”
“I’m awesome! I am so awesome… What are you doing, Flynn?”
“Wait! We can talk this over!”
There were eyebrows drawn on the face that was forcibly turned in my direction. Eyebrows like the kind people draw on dogs. Seeing T-Zou’s face turned into an old man’s gag drains me of all of my strength.
Three unlucky numbers have appeared on her creamy skin.
“Okay yeah, don’t shear her! No, no, no!”
“The sheep are fine as they are. Anyway Flynn, we’re off to Lambert. It’s a shame that women can’t watch, but you should wait on the Dugald s.h.i.+p because it will be safe there.”
I scrambled up into the tank. Flynn turns her head towards me and extends her hand.
“… Why are you willing to go so far?”
When it comes to talking about her country, she loses her confidence and the tone of her voice falls. I don’t have confidence either. I don’t think I can properly answer that question.
Why? I wonder why.
An official whose uniform looked like it was about to burst at the seams around his chest came near with an accusatory look. The only thing cute about him was his waist-length, curly hair.
“Hey you there in the ‘seep’ carriage! Wait! There’s obviously a problem with your weight. Unless you add to your load you will be violating the rules of fair play.”
Wondering how we’re going to get through this situation, I give a low groan as I grip the reins. In the meantime, several racing vehicles started moving one by one. Inside the horse-drawn carriage that pa.s.sed by our side, I caught sight of Maxine and the beautiful twins. In my impatience, I couldn’t think of a good plan.
“Murata!?”
“Whoah! Where- where are these guys going!? Not that way! Don’t turn right, go straight!”
Sheep have an extremely bad sense of direction!? Tell us important information like that before we make an agreement!
“I’m Buddhist so I don’t know anything about that!”
“Nmoshkashte (Wrong way)?”
Murata throws a wet blanket on my compliments.
If it was 777 then either coins or feces would start pouring out.
(2) Mini joke on Galaxy Express 999 which is an anime/manga. The 999 is p.r.o.nounced ‘Three-Nine’ so ‘Sheep-9’ fits nicely ^-^ The story is about this guy who is travelling on a train (999) running through s.p.a.ce in order to obtain a mechanized body at the train’s last stop and thus live forever.