Chapter 9

Prev List Next

KKM Novel 8, Chapter 9

Hi! I"m not dead! Wow this took forever. I"m gonna shut up and let you read o.o

Chapter 9

      The journey from East Nilzon to Caloria was comparably easier. The Dugald’s high speed s.h.i.+p swayed, but like on the trip before, I didn’t get seasick.
      However, the children who had never seen a boat before never mind a naval s.h.i.+p were dancing wildly and running around the deck causing trouble for the sailors and adults around them.
      They were the s.h.i.+nzoku children we had met during the tournament. I had decided to take them out of Big s.h.i.+maron as they were forced to live in a containment facility in the wastelands. On the night that Freddy had set fire to the facility, I endured a loss of some of our headway in the race to entrust the children to the Dugald brothers who were running parallel to us in an oxcart.
      Take these children back to the s.h.i.+p and treat them nicely until I get back. I want to take them to a land that s.h.i.+nzoku live in after the tournament. After telling them this, the quiet ocean brothers nodded in acknowledgment. When we returned with our victory spoils after the tournament, the high speed boat had been taken over by the children and the Dugald brothers were worn out and haggard as they muttered to me with fed up looks on their faces.
      “Your Majesty, give us a break.”
      I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.
      After you bring our group back to the Gilbit Harbor, I have to have you travel to a faraway land. In other words, I want you to bring these children with white hair and skin to the land where their race lives.
      After being told that, the Dugald brothers hung their heads, crestfallen, but the spirit of men of the sea prevailed. After a while, the s.h.i.+nzoku boys were helping out as apprentice crew and the girls learned the recipe for Man of the Sea Stew. At this rate the boys and girls will be nice and suntanned by the time they get where they’re going.
      When the high speed boat came into port at Gilbit, the docked s.h.i.+ps rang gongs one after the other as a blessing. They had heard of Caloria’s independence and had come to establish business deals with a new partner.
      There were even s.h.i.+ps of Great Demon Kingdom origin.
      Wolf leaned over the railing.
      “It’s the Voltaire banner!” He had been acting more adult than I had been, but all of a sudden the act crumbled and he was smiling joyfully. “Older Brother’s s.h.i.+p came!”
      “Eh, even Gwen’s s.h.i.+p? Where is it? What kind of cute, creature-like s.h.i.+p is it?”
      However, after calming down and thinking for a moment, I come to realize a frightening truth. If even Lord von Voltaire has come, who is taking care of the kingdom? I doubt this is the case, but is it that person by himself? I’m repeating myself, but is it that person by himself!?
      “W-we need to get home quickly.”
      Imagining the worst case scenario, I started to feel sick.
      Officially, Norman Gilbit suddenly died in Big s.h.i.+maron. Therefore, I can’t openly leave the s.h.i.+p in front of everyone after I pretended to be him. Despite my departure being so rousing, the return was discreet and quite the opposite. It’s a bit lonely, but that is the fate of a body double and I intend to carry out my duty properly.
      Upon hearing that Murata and I would be riding on his pride and joy, ‘Friend of the Sea,’ Captain Sizemore left in high spirits to prepare his wars.h.i.+p. Wolfram, having no reason to hide, was heading out to the Voltaire wars.h.i.+p to meet his brother. Dacascos. .h.i.t it off with the Plainsmen and was regaling them with details about living with a wife which he described as priceless. The single soldiers who had fought for a straight 25 years seemed to be quite jealous of his married life.
Speaking of the Plainsmen, Commander Mountain Range and most of the other soldiers chose Mistress Flynn Gilbit’s country as their new place of employment. After we brought them on board the "Red Starfish" for the journey to Caloria – since we were heading there anyway – they became unusually interested in the foreign s.h.i.+p. The Plainsmen graduates were all land troops and this was the first time they had been on a s.h.i.+p never mind a fast one like this.
      They were so impressed that they said they wanted to make their unit’s famous camp food, ‘Jellyfish Hotpot.’ I thought it was an excellent way to have some cultural communication, but sadly the high speed s.h.i.+p was extremely fast and we arrived at Caloria before they could make their meal. Because of that, now there was only a giant drum can left in the s.h.i.+p’s galley and the Plainsmen that we needed had already disembarked. If I get the chance to taste Jellyfish Hotpot someday, I’ll think of Commander Mountain Range and Mishy Terrine.
      Planning on leaving when the crowd outside went away, I was looking around the s.h.i.+p in solitude. I pa.s.sed through the kitchen doors and thought about paying my respects to the giant drum since I had come all the way down the hallway. A visitor who had come in before me was leaning on the side of the sink absentmindedly staring at the steam rising from a kettle.
      It doesn’t seem very amusing.
      “Murata.”
      He lifted his head up in reflex and unknitted his fingers that were clasped in front of his chest.
      “Oh, s.h.i.+buya.”
      “Don’t go ‘Oh, s.h.i.+buya.’ You haven’t left the s.h.i.+p yet?”
      “Hm? Well, it’s a lot of trouble.”
      What does he mean ‘a lot of trouble’ when there’s someone like me who wants to leave but can’t?
      The contents of the kettle came to a boil and it whistled. It made me want to eat instant ramen so bad that I looked around the kitchen for some even though I knew there wasn’t any.
      “That’s to be expected. This is a swords and magic world, after all. There aren’t any red foxes or green tanuki here,” said Murata. (1)
      “There are pink rabbits though.”
      Murata was laughing, but he seemed distracted. Is he worried about something? He ends up just putting tea leaves in a large cup and directly pouring hot water on top of them. If I poured a cup of tea like that, Günter would faint.
      “What are you laughing about?” he asks.
      “Huh?”
      Murata places my tea on the table and drags a chair over. “You looked like you were imagining something amusing.”
      “Oh, I was just thinking that when you go back to the Great Demon Kingdom, things will definitely get complicated.”
      “Why?
      It will be a sight worth seeing how bewildered the people who made such a huge deal over me will be. Günter in particular with his black hair and eye fetish will probably faint just by looking at Murata.
      “Because you’re the fabled Great Sage. Not Great Sake, the Great Sage. Almost everyone thinks of you as some sort of mythical creature. If you just casually appear, it’ll be a bigger uproar than if a tsuchinoko appeared.” (2)
      “That’s rude. Don’t treat me like a tsuchinoko. At the very least make me a hibagon. It can walk on two legs and, even better, it’s smarter than ASIMO.” (3)
      “… You’re going to make the scientists cry.”
      Glancing at the corner of the room, I saw the giant drum left out. It’s really quite big. The drum was placed directly onto the floor and it still reaches up to my chest. I step over and run my hands along the thick, smooth metal and look inside.
      “Wow, it looks like a Goemon bathtub… Hey, there’s water or something inside. There aren’t any other ingredients, but maybe this is the soup stock for that Jellyfish Hotpot.” (4)
      “The soup stock? The stock isn’t made from jellyfish, then? Oh well, we might as well have a taste.”
      I bent over the lip of the drum and tried to dip my fingers into the liquid. Murata peers into the drum as well, tea still in hand.
      “Ugh, can’t reach… ah… ah… achoo!”
      “Did you catch a cold? Take care of yourself…. Huh!?”
      The sneeze had sent a piercing pain throughout my nose. Tears cloud my vision and I press against my eyes and nose.
      “Whoa s.h.i.+buya, you just blew something amazing out of your nose!”
      Forcing my hurting eyes open with all my might, amazingly I saw a small fish inside the drum. Judging from its size, somehow it seems to be the fish I was forced to drink in s.h.i.+maron.
      “Amazing, s.h.i.+buya! You’re like that guy, the Regurgitator! You know, the guy with no successors to his art and is on the level of a national treasure?”
      “Eeee… No wonder it hurt.”
      And it was from my nose. And also…
      “… It turned into bones.”
      Of course it did. It was almost ten days ago that I ended up drinking the goldfish in that place, caught up in the moment. Of course it would already be digested and it’s a miracle that I didn’t part ways with it through my other end. The innocent, frolicking red fishy… I felt that I had done something terrib-
      “It’s swimming!”
      “No way!”
      Even though it was entirely bones, the goldfish was swimming smoothly inside the drum. It was even more nimble and speedy than when it had flesh. I’ve never seen a show like this. What’s going on with my stomach?
      “Is this… a legendary Fish Bowl guppy!?”
      “Wh-what’s that?”
      “Just like the Flying Skeleton Tribe and the Earth Skeleton Tribe, they’re an aquatic species with bodies that look like skeletons! They’re a rare creature that’s hardly ever seen so they’re called Fish Bowls and are treated like lucky talismans! Wow, we’ve got good luck. Our bone density will go up after seeing this. This is a handy character that ups your status just by meeting them. What are you doing, s.h.i.+buya? Hurry up and catch it! It’s so small that if it dived down to the bottom of the drum we’ll probably never see it again!”
      “Huh, what!? C-catch it?”
      I stretch my right hand out in a panic and try to grab at the swimming leftovers. My fingertips won’t even reach the surface of the water never mind the fish skeleton. Thrusting my upper body into the drum can, my fingertips finally touched the fish’s dorsal fin.
      “Yes, I g-”
      There was a stinging pain like I had been p.r.i.c.ked with a thorn and the world turned over. The place that was the ceiling was now under my feet and the bottom of the drum was right over my head. Oh no, I fell into a giant drum. I’m going to smash my head into the heavy, metal bottom.
      “M-Murata! Pull me up! Please pull me up! … mph!”
      My upper body is underwater. Seawater flows into my eyes, nose, and mouth and the careless thought of ‘ah, so this is jellyfish soup stock’ runs through my head. After all, this is a drum so it’s not that deep. Murata will surely pull me up… Wait…
      I thought it would come sooner or later, but I didn’t think it would come with this timing. I didn’t think it wouldn’t be through the ocean or a lake but a giant drum, either. I also didn’t think that I would master the art of regurgi-… uegh.
      “s.h.i.+buya!”
      Murata’s voice is steadily getting farther away as I’m rapidly sucked through the water. This is a route I’ve travelled many times before so I’m not going to panic. In this situation, I should relax and enjoy the scenery. Before my eyes is a happily swimming fish skeleton.
      “Ah, the trigger was the Fish Skeleton Bo~~~wl…”
      After this, it’s just the first Star Tours in a while.

------------

(1)    Red Fox and Green Tanuki are types of Maru-chan brand instant noodle bowls. The Red Fox is instant udon with a piece of fried tofu and the Green Tanuki is instant soba with a big tempura cracker. Personally, I’m a fan of the Tanuki ^-^
(2)    Two parts here. The ‘Great Sake’ joke here is pretty much just that. Yuuri says ‘daiginjou /大吟醸’ which is top-quality sake. It sounds a little similar to Great Sage ‘daikenja /大賢者’ The second part is the tsuchinoko which is a mythical, snake-like creature that is sometimes said to like alcohol and speak – although they lie a lot. The tsuchinoko might be compared to bigfoot in that people are constantly looking for it and some towns have annual tsuchinoko hunts with cash prizes if anyone can bring one in.
(3)    The Hibagon is even more like bigfoot because it even looks like bigfoot. It inhabits the area around Mt. Hiba.
(4)    A goemon bathtub is a bath that’s usually in the shape of a cauldron and is heated from below. It has a wooden lid floating on top that doubles as protection for feet on the bottom of the tub so when bathers get in, they stand on the lid and push it to the bottom. Incidentally, it’s called a goemon bath because a man named Goemon Is.h.i.+kawa was boiled to death in one.
(5)    The Regurgitator, Stevie Starr, is an entertainer from Scotland who swallows things and then regurgitates them. One of the things he regurgitates is goldfish and they all come back up unharmed. In j.a.pan he"s called the "Human Pump" and that"s what was written in the text. Confused me for a bit XD

      The backs of my eyelids burn from being in white light for too long.
      I stretched my limbs out and listened to the sound of the waves as I laid on the ground.
      Ah, summer. And the ocean.
      The midsummer sun relentlessly heated my arms and stomach and I feel wet, hot sand against my back. However, the hottest and most painful parts of my body were my cheeks and eyelids and the rest of my body was simply damp, steamy, and uncomfortable. My brain is ordering me to open my eyes and take a breath. However, my body is completely incapable of carrying out that command and I can’t even move my fingers.
      Although, I do understand that I have come back.
      From a far distance away, I heard Murata laughing with a hint of self-derision. It was like he was laughing in disbelief.
      “I ended up coming back before we met. We really do have horrible compatibility.”
      I want to ask who he was talking about, but I can’t call out or even write in the sand.
      Thick fingers cover my nose and mouth and my head is tilted backwards. Before I even have a chance to ask what’s going on, tense muscles touch my chest… muscles…
      “UWAH!”
      All the nerves in my body suddenly wake up and sweat gushes out of all of my pores. Using both of my arms and my entire body, I throw off the young man in a speedo hanging over me.
      “s.h.i.+buya, safe! Just barely safe!”
      “Uhyaa, that was close!”
      The kind lifeguard man pressed his lips together and sat there looking dejected. I’m thankful for him coming to my rescue, but what’s up with that girly way he’s sitting? He clears his throat and begins to speak in an admonis.h.i.+ng way.
      “You two, no matter how close you are if the friend who jumped in to save the other ends up drowning too there’s no point. More importantly, just what are you wearing to swim in the ocean? Clothes that absorb water and get heavy will simply bind up your arms and legs.”
      “Ah, yeah.”
      “When you go into the ocean, both men and women should wear skintight bikinis. That’s the ironclad rule, okay? Ironclad.”
      When I look down at myself, not only am I not in a bikini, I’m wearing fancy winter clothes. The soaking wet, thick fabric was like a lead weight and I felt like it was pressing down on my chest.
      “Where are the college girls?” Ken Murata asks the lifeguard with a sigh, leaning against a boulder exhausted.
      “Who? Oh, the girls who lost their bathing suit? I gave them a severe warning. Not only were they playing around in a restricted area, they even made part-timers from the boardinghouse clean up their mess. When I said I was going to ask around for witnesses, they disappeared like the wind.” The lifeguard’s skin had pa.s.sed from tan straight to brown from his summers of Justice every year. He stands up and places his hands on his waist as if to show off his honed body that has a perfect, inverted triangular shape. The strings to a swimming cap are tied around his neck. “Anyway you two, muscle fatigue in the ocean is dangerous. Be brave when resting at the beach.”
      “Yeah…”
      The two of us stayed stretched out on the sand even after Mr. Lifeguard left. We both start to say something, but the conversation doesn’t move forward because of the timing.
      “Honestly, this is cruel,” Murata says as he moves to my side after a long time of staying motionless. “It’s like we drowned for those girls.”
      “Yeah.”
      “s.h.i.+buya.”
      Hugging his knees as he sat in the wet sand, Murata bit back his words. After saying my last name who knows how many times, he finally says this small sentence:

      “It’s not a dream.”

      After staying silent for seven seconds, I laughed wholeheartedly.
      “What, the skeleton fish?”
      “… Stupid, I wasn’t talking about the skeleton fis.h.!.+”
      Right at that moment, an explosive sound reverberated in the air and a puff of white smoke rose up. A group of young kids genuinely enjoying summer were setting off fireworks in the middle of the day.
      My friend stirs his body into movement while groaning and forces his painful muscles to stretch.
      “Oh that’s right, s.h.i.+buya. Tonight is the tourism bureau’s firework festival.”
      “Tch, I’m going to end up was.h.i.+ng dishes in the boardinghouse while you go out and try and pick up college girls anyway.”
      “No I’m not! I’m going to help with the dishes. Let’s get it done quickly so we can watch the fireworks with some girls in yukata.”
      Despite having almost drowned to death, the two of us were in good spirits here on the sand.
      “The fireworks are beautiful. I’ll show you my secret spot. If you watch from there, it’s like the stars are falling out of the sky. Okay? You have to rest your soul and refill your MP while your fiancé isn’t around.”
      “Really, I don’t know if you’re talking about a secret spot of Mr. Spock or… what did you say?”
      “I could also introduce you to someone who’s the same type as your recent ex, you know.” He pokes me in the side with his wet elbow. “How about that platinum blonde girl staying in the Muskmelon Hall?”
      I wanted to grab his hair and shake his head around.
      I loved my friend so much I couldn’t stop laughing.

      I have friends in the other world and a friend in this world who knows that.
      I don’t have to doubt whether it’s all a dream anymore.

Prev List Next