23. For more information and advice about how to be "relentlessly pleasant," see ibid., 25166.

24. E. B. Boyd, "Where Is the Female Mark Zuckerberg?," San Francisco, December 2011, Jessica Valenti, "Sad White Babies with Mean Feminist Mommies," Jessica Valenti blog, June 19, 2012, IT"S A JUNGLE GYM, NOT A LADDER

1. Bureau of Labor Statistics, Number of Jobs Held, Labor Market Activity, and Earnings Growth Among the Youngest Baby Boomers: Results from a Longitudinal Study (July 2012), This report found that the average person born between 1957 and 1964 had 11.3 jobs between the ages of eighteen and forty-six, with almost half of these jobs being held between the ages of eighteen and twenty-four.

2. For reviews of the research on women tending to be more risk averse than men, see Marianne Bertrand, "New Perspectives on Gender," in Handbook of Labor Economics, vol. 4B, ed. Orley Ashenfelter and David Card (Amsterdam: North Holland, 2010), 154490; Rachel Croson and Uri Gneezy, "Gender Differences in Preferences," Journal of Economic Literature 47, no. 2 (2009): 44874; and Catherine C. Eckel and Phillip J. Grossman, "Men, Women, and Risk Aversion: Experimental Evidence," in Handbook of Experimental Economics Results, vol. 1, ed. Charles R. Plott and Vernon L. Smith (Amsterdam: North Holland, 2008), 106173.

3. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Drowning Risks in Natural Water Settings, Karen S. Lyness and Christine A. Schrader, "Moving Ahead or Just Moving? An Examination of Gender Differences in Senior Corporate Management Appointments," Gender & Organization Management 31, no. 6 (2006): 65176. This study examined 952 announcements in The Wall Street Journal about senior management appointments. a.n.a.lysis of the announcements found that compared to their male counterparts, women"s new roles were more similar to their previous roles and women were less likely to switch to new companies. Among those in managerial staff positions, women were less likely than men to move into a line position or into a new functional area. These differences suggest that women"s job changes may offer fewer career benefits than the benefits men receive for their job moves.

5. Londa Schiebinger, Andrea Davies, and Shannon K. Gilmartin, Dual-Career Academic Couples: What Universities Need to Know, Clayman Inst.i.tute for Gender Research, Stanford University (2008), Kimberlee A. Shauman and Mary C. Noonan, "Family Migration and Labor Force Outcomes: s.e.x Differences in Occupational Context," Social Forces 85, no. 4 (2007): 173564; and Pam Stone, Opting Out? Why Women Really Quit Careers and Head Home (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2007).

6. Irene E. De Pater et al., "Challenging Experiences: Gender Differences in Task Choice," Journal of Managerial Psychology 24, no. 1 (2009): 428. In this study, the authors surveyed close to one hundred business school students about their internship experience. The survey found that in conditions of "higher decision lat.i.tude," where interns had more control over the things they did during their internship, women reported having fewer challenging experiences. In Irene E. De Pater et al., "Individual Task Choice and the Division of Challenging Tasks Between Men and Women," Group & Organization Management 34, no. 5 (2009): 56389, researchers found that when pairs of men and women negotiated over the a.s.signment of tasks, men ended up with the more challenging ones. For findings that suggest that gendered beliefs such as "women need protection" (benevolent s.e.xism) impede women"s access to challenging tasks, see Eden B. King et al., "Benevolent s.e.xism at Work: Gender Differences in the Distribution of Challenging Developmental Experiences," Journal of Management 38, no. 6 (2012): 183566.

7. Georges Desvaux, Sandrine Devillard-Hoellinger, and Mary C. Meaney, "A Business Case for Women," The McKinsey Quarterly (September 2008): 4, Lloyds TSB found that their female employees tended not to put themselves up for promotion despite being 8 percent more likely to meet or surpa.s.s performance standards than their male colleagues. See Desvaux, Devillard-Hoellinger, and Meaney, "A Business Case for Women," 4. Studies on gender and promotion mostly at the university level in England and Australia also find that women are hesitant to put themselves up for promotion, often because they undervalue their skills, abilities, and work experience. See Anne Ross-Smith and Colleen Chesterman, " "Girl Disease": Women Managers" Reticence and Ambivalence Towards Organizational Advancement," Journal of Management & Organization 15, no. 5 (2009): 58295; Liz Doherty and Simonetta Manfredi, "Women"s Progression to Senior Positions in English Universities," Employee Relations 28, no. 6 (2006): 55372; and Belinda Probert, " "I Just Couldn"t Fit It In": Gender and Unequal Outcomes in Academic Careers," Gender, Work and Organization 12, no. 1 (2005): 5072.

9. Hannah Seligson, "Ladies, Take off Your Tiara!," The Huffington Post, February 20, 2007, ARE YOU MY MENTOR?

1. Mentors provide advice, support, and feedback to their mentee. Sponsors hold senior positions and use their influence and power to advocate on behalf of their mentee, such as pushing to get the mentee a stretch a.s.signment or a promotion. For a discussion of the differences between mentoring and sponsoring, see Herminia Ibarra, Nancy M. Carter, and Christine Silva, "Why Men Still Get More Promotions than Women," Harvard Business Review 88, no. 9 (2010): 8085; and Sylvia Ann Hewlett et al., The Sponsor Effect: Breaking Through the Last Gla.s.s Ceiling, a Harvard Business Review Research Report (December 2010): 57.

2. Studies have found that people who are mentored and sponsored report having more career success (such as higher compensation, a greater number of promotions, greater career and job satisfaction, and more career commitment). See Tammy D. Allen et al., "Career Benefits a.s.sociated with Mentoring for Proteges: A Meta-a.n.a.lysis," Journal of Applied Psychology 89, no. 1 (2004): 12736. A study of several thousand white collar workers with at least a bachelor"s degree found that sponsorship seemed to encourage both men and women to ask for a stretch a.s.signment and a pay increase. Among the men surveyed who had a sponsor, 56 percent were likely to ask for a stretch a.s.signment and 49 percent were likely to ask for a pay raise. In contrast, among the men surveyed without a sponsor, only 43 percent were likely to ask for a stretch a.s.signment and 37 percent were likely to ask for a pay raise. Among the women surveyed who had a sponsor, 44 percent were likely to ask for a stretch a.s.signment and 38 percent were likely to ask for a pay raise. In contrast, among the women surveyed without a sponsor, only 36 percent were likely to ask for a stretch a.s.signment and only 30 percent were likely to ask for a pay raise. See Hewlett et al., The Sponsor Effect, 911.

3. For a discussion of the difficulties women can have with mentorship, see Kimberly E. O"Brien et al., "A Meta-a.n.a.lytic Investigation of Gender Differences in Mentoring," Journal of Management 36, no. 2 (2010): 53940. In general, men and women receive similar amounts of mentoring, yet not all mentoring provides the same types of benefits and rewards. For example, mentors who have more power and sway in their organizations (typically white men) can provide better career opportunities to their proteges than can mentors who have less power (often women and minorities). Research indicates that men, particularly white men, tend to have more influential mentors than women (or minority men) have. A Catalyst study found that while 78 percent of the male business professionals were mentored by a CEO or another senior executive, only 69 percent of the female professionals were mentored by those at the highest levels. This difference disadvantages women because mentees with more senior mentors reported faster career progression. See Ibarra, Carter, and Silva, "Why Men Still Get More Promotions than Women," 8085. Also see George F. Dreher and Taylor H. c.o.x Jr., "Race, Gender, and Opportunity: A Study of Compensation Attainment and the Establishing of Mentoring Relationships," Journal of Applied Psychology 81, no. 3 (1996): 297308.

4. The survey by Hewlett et al. of educated white-collar workers found that 19 percent of men reported having sponsors as compared to 13 percent of women. See Hewlett et al., The Sponsor Effect, 811. A 2010 study of high-potential men and women found that in comparison to their male counterparts, women were "overmentored and undersponsored." See Ibarra, Carter, and Silva, "Why Men Still Get More Promotions than Women," 8085.

5. Romila Singh, Belle Rose Ragins, and Phyllis Tharenou, "Who Gets a Mentor? A Longitudinal a.s.sessment of the Rising Star Hypothesis," Journal of Vocational Behavior 74, no. 1 (2009): 1117; and Tammy D. Allen, Mark L. Poteet, and Joyce E. A. Russell, "Protege Selection by Mentors: What Makes the Difference?," Journal of Organizational Behavior 21, no. 3 (2000): 27182.

6. Alvin W. Gouldner, "The Norm of Reciprocity: A Preliminary Statement," American Sociological Review 25, no. 2 (1960): 16178.

7. Tammy D. Allen, Mark L. Poteet, and Susan M. Burroughs, "The Mentor"s Perspective: A Qualitative Inquiry and Future Research Agenda," Journal of Vocational Behavior 51, no. 1 (1997): 86.

8. Hewlett et al., The Sponsor Effect, 35.

9. Ibarra, Carter, and Silva, "Why Men Still Get More Promotions than Women," 8085.

6. SEEK AND SPEAK YOUR TRUTH

1. Denise L. Loyd et al., "Expertise in Your Midst: How Congruence Between Status and Speech Style Affects Reactions to Unique Knowledge," Group Processes & Intergroup Relations 13, no. 3 (2010): 37995; and Lawrence A. Hosman, "The Evaluative Consequences of Hedges, Hesitations, and Intensifiers: Powerful and Powerless Speech Styles," Human Communication Research 15, no. 3 (1989): 383406. For a review of how power shapes behavior, see Dacher Keltner, Deborah H. Gruenfeld, and Cameron Anderson, "Power, Approach, Inhibition," Psychological Review 110, no. 2 (2003): 26584. For a review of gender and speech, see Cecilia L. Ridgeway and Lynn Smith-Lovin, "The Gender System and Interaction," Annual Review of Sociology 25, no. 1 (1999): 2023.

2. Bell Leadership Inst.i.tute, Humor Gives Leaders the Edge (2012), Research by Kimberly D. Elsbach, professor of management at the University of California at Davis, and her colleagues found that most of the time when women cry at work, they receive negative reactions from colleagues and coworkers, unless the crying is related to a serious personal issue such as a death in the family or a divorce. Crying during a meeting or because of professional pressures or a disagreement is viewed as "unprofessional," "disruptive," "weak," and even "manipulative." For further description of Professor Elsbach"s findings, see Jenna Goudreau, "Crying at Work, a Woman"s Burden," Forbes, January 11, 2011, Marcus Buckingham, "Leadership Development in the Age of the Algorithm," Harvard Business Review 90, no. 6 (2012): 8694; and Bill George et al., "Discovering Your Authentic Leadership," Harvard Business Review 85, no. 2 (2007): 12938.

7. DON"T LEAVE BEFORE YOU LEAVE

1. In general, research on this topic finds that although young women often report having a strong commitment to both their future career and their future families, they antic.i.p.ate that combining the two will be difficult and require trade-offs. Janelle C. Fetterolf and Alice H. Eagly, "Do Young Women Expect Gender Equality in Their Future Lives? An Answer from a Possible Selves Experiment," s.e.x Roles 65, nos. 12 (2011): 8393; Elizabeth R. Brown and Amanda B. Diekman, "What Will I Be? Exploring Gender Differences in Near and Distant Possible Selves," s.e.x Roles 63, nos. 78 (2010): 56879; and Linda Stone and Nancy P. McKee, "Gendered Futures: Student Visions of Career and Family on a College Campus," Anthropology & Education Quarterly 31, no. 1 (2000): 6789.

2. Lesley Lazin Novack and David R. Novack, "Being Female in the Eighties and Nineties: Conflicts Between New Opportunities and Traditional Expectations Among White, Middle Cla.s.s, Heteros.e.xual College Women," s.e.x Roles 35, nos. 12 (1996): 67. Novack and Novack found that if forced to choose between getting married or having a career, 18 percent of the male students and 38 percent of the female students in their study would choose getting married. They also found that 67 percent of the male students and 49 percent of the female students would choose having a career over getting married. Notably, about 22 percent of the men and 15 percent of the women declined to answer this "marriage or career" question, with the majority creating their own response of having both marriage and career. The authors state that "many men found the choice of marriage or career unacceptable, likely because historically they have been able to experience both options." A recent survey by the Pew Research Center found that among young people ages eighteen to thirty-four, the percentage of women stating that "having a successful marriage" is "one of the most important things" in their lives has increased among young women but decreased among young men since 1997. See Eileen Patten and Kim Parker, A Gender Reversal on Career Aspirations, Pew Research Center (April 2012), Another recent study of young people aged eighteen to thirty-one found that women had a higher "drive to marry" than men. See Judith E. Owen Blakemore, Carol A. Lawton, and Lesa Rae Vartanian, "I Can"t Wait to Get Married: Gender Differences in Drive to Marry," s.e.x Roles 53, nos. 56 (2005): 32735. For a notable exception, see Mindy J. Erchull et al., "Well ... She Wants It More: Perceptions of Social Norms About Desires for Marriage and Children and Antic.i.p.ated Ch.o.r.e Partic.i.p.ation," Psychology of Women Quarterly 34, no. 2 (2010): 25360, which surveyed college students and found no difference between men and women in their self-reported level of desire to marry.

3. For reviews of studies about job satisfaction and turnover, see Petri Bockerman and Pekka Ilmakunnas, "Job Disamenities, Job Satisfaction, Quit Intentions, and Actual Separations: Putting the Pieces Together," Industrial Relations 48, no. 1 (2009): 7396; and Brooks et al., "Turnover and Retention Research: A Glance at the Past, a Closer Review of the Present, and a Venture into the Future," The Academy of Management Annals 2, no. 1 (2008): 23174.

4. Caroline O"Connor, "How Sheryl Sandberg Helped Make One Entrepreneur"s Big Decision," Harvard Business Review Blog Network, September 26, 2011, Approximately 80 percent of women without children are in the workforce. Of women with children, that number drops to 70.6 percent. For men, having children increases workforce partic.i.p.ation. About 86 percent of men without children and 94.6 percent of men with children are in the workforce. These labor force partic.i.p.ation rates are based on the employment rates of men and women aged twenty-five to forty-four, with and without children under the age of eighteen. Bureau of Labor Statistics, "Table 6A: Employment Status of Persons by Age, Presence of Children, s.e.x, Race, Hispanic or Latino Ethnicity, and Marital Status, Annual Average 2011," Current Population Survey, Employment Characteristics, unpublished table (2011).

6. Sylvia Ann Hewlett and Carolyn Buck Luce, "Off-Ramps and On-Ramps: Keeping Talented Women on the Road to Success," Harvard Business Review 83, no. 3 (2005): 44.

7. David Cotter, Paula England, and Joan Hermsen, "Moms and Jobs: Trends in Mothers" Employment and Which Mothers Stay Home," in Families as They Really Are, ed. Barbara J. Risman (New York: W. W. Norton, 2010), 41624. Women whose husbands earn the least (in the bottom quarter of male earnings) are the group of women most likely to stay at home, followed by women whose husbands are in the top 5 percent of male earners.

8. The National a.s.sociation of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies, Parents and the High Cost of Child Care: 2010 Update (2010), 1, Child Care Aware of America, Parents and the High Cost of Child Care: 2012 Report (2012), 7, Youngjoo Cha, "Reinforcing Separate Spheres: The Effect of Spousal Overwork on Men"s and Women"s Employment in Dual-Earner Households," American Sociological Review 75, no. 2 (2010): 318. This study also found that the odds of quitting among professional mothers whose husbands work sixty hours or more a week is 112 percent greater than those of professional mothers whose husbands work less than fifty hours a week.

11. Findings from the 2007 survey of Harvard Business School (HBS) alumni were provided by the Career and Professional Development Office at Harvard Business School to the author on October 15, 2012. Another survey of graduates with two or more children of HBS cla.s.ses of 1981, 1985, and 1991 showed that more than 90 percent of male graduates were in full-time careers compared with only 38 percent of female graduates. Finding provided by Myra M. Hart, professor emeritus of Harvard Business School, e-mail message to researcher, September 23, 2012. The results from these HBS surveys may be influenced by the disproportionately low response rate for women relative to men. Also, these surveys were not designed to allow respondents to explain what they are doing if they are not employed in a full-time capacity for pay. When respondents indicate that they are not working full-time, they could still be actively involved in nonprofits and community organizations or sitting on boards. It should be noted that women are more likely than men to have career interruptions linked with having children, prioritizing personal goals, and meeting family responsibilities. For more on women"s nonlinear career paths, see Lisa A. Mainiero and Sherry E. Sullivan, "Kaleidoscope Careers: An Alternate Explanation for the "Opt-Out" Revolution," The Academy of Management Executive 19, no. 1 (2005): 10623.