Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor

Chapter 32

"Yes," I replied, "that"s his name."

"Well, I think he"s dead," said he.

At this, I began to feel uneasy, and I could see that my wife shared my trouble.

Then the other farmer spoke up.

"I don"t believe he"s dead, Hiram," said he to his companion. "I heerd of him this spring. He"s got a sheep-farm on the other side o" the mountain, and he"s a livin" there. That"s what I heerd, at any rate. But he don"t live on this road any more," he continued, turning to us. "He used to keep tavern on this road, and the stages did used to stop fur supper--or else dinner. I don"t jist ree-collect which. But he don"t keep tavern on this road no more."

"Of course not," said his companion, "if he"s a livin" over the mountain. But I b"lieve he"s dead."

I asked the other farmer if he knew how long it had been since Dutton had left this part of the country.

"I don"t know fur certain," he said, "but I know he was keeping tavern here two year" ago, this fall, fur I came along here, myself, and stopped there to git supper--or dinner, I don"t jist ree-collect which."

It had been three years since our friend had boarded at Dutton"s house.

There was no doubt that the man was not living at his old place now. My wife and I now agreed that it was very foolish in us to come so far without making more particular inquiries. But we had had an idea that a man who had a place like Dutton"s tavern would live there always.

"What are ye goin" to do?" asked the driver, very much interested, for it was not every day that he had pa.s.sengers who had lost their destination. "Ye might go on to Lowry"s. He takes boarders sometimes."

But Lowry"s did not attract us. An ordinary country-tavern, where stage-pa.s.sengers took supper, was not what we came so far to find.

"Do you know where this house o" Dutton"s is?" said the driver, to the man who had once taken either dinner or supper there.

"Oh yes! I"d know the house well enough, if I saw it. It"s the fust house this side o" Lowry"s."

"With a big pole in front of it?" asked the driver.

"Yes, there was a sign-pole in front of it."

"An" a long porch?"

"Yes."

"Oh! well!" said the driver, settling himself in his seat. "I know all about that house. That"s a empty house. I didn"t think you meant that house. There"s n.o.body lives there. An" yit, now I come to remember, I have seen people about, too. I tell ye what ye better do. Since ye"re so set on staying on this side the ridge, ye better let me put ye down at Dan Carson"s place. That"s jist about quarter of a mile from where Dutton used to live. Dan"s wife can tell ye all about the Duttons, an"

about everybody else, too, in this part o" the country, and if there aint n.o.body livin" at the old tavern, ye can stay all night at Carson"s, and I"ll stop an" take you back, to-morrow, when I come along."

We agreed to this plan, for there was nothing better to be done, and, late in the afternoon, we were set down with our small trunk--for we were traveling under light weight--at Dan Carson"s door. The stage was rather behind time, and the driver whipped up and left us to settle our own affairs. He called back, however, that he would keep a good look-out for us to-morrow.

Mrs. Carson soon made her appearance, and, very naturally, was somewhat surprised to see visitors with their baggage standing on her little porch. She was a plain, coa.r.s.ely dressed woman, with an ap.r.o.n full of chips and kindling wood, and a fine mind for detail, as we soon discovered.

"Jist so," she said, putting down the chips and inviting us to seats on a bench. "Dave Dutton"s folks is all moved away. Dave has a good farm on the other side o" the mountain, an" it never did pay him to keep that tavern, "specially as he didn"t sell liquor. When he went away, his son Al come there to live with his wife, an" the old man left a good deal o"

furniture and things for him, but Al"s wife aint satisfied here, and, though they"ve been here, off an" on, the house is shet up most o" the time. It"s for sale an" to rent, both, ef enybody wants it. I"m sorry about you, too, fur it was a nice tavern, when Dave kept it."

We admitted that we were also very sorry, and the kind-hearted woman showed a great deal of sympathy.

"You might stay here, but we haint got no fit room where you two could sleep."

At this, Euphemia and I looked very blank.

"But you could go up to the house and stay, jist as well as not," Mrs.

Carson continued. "There"s plenty o" things there, an" I keep the key.

For the matter o" that, ye might take the house for as long as ye want to stay; Dave "d be glad enough to rent it; and, if the lady knows how to keep house, it wouldn"t be no trouble at all, jist for you two. We could let ye have all the victuals ye"d want, cheap, and there"s plenty o" wood there, cut, and every thing handy."

We looked at each other. We agreed. Here was a chance for a rare good time. It might be better, perhaps, than any thing we had expected.

The bargain was struck. Mrs. Carson, who seemed vested with all the necessary powers of attorney, appeared to be perfectly satisfied with our trustworthiness, and when I paid on the spot the small sum she thought proper for two weeks" rent, she evidently considered she had done a very good thing for Dave Dutton and herself.

"I"ll jist put some bread, an" eggs, an" coffee, an" pork, an" things in the basket, an" I"ll have "em took up for ye, with yer trunk, an" I"ll go with ye an" take some milk. Here, Danny!" she cried, and directly her husband, a long, thin, sun-burnt, sandy-headed man, appeared, and to him she told, in a few words, our story, and ordered him to hitch up the cart and be ready to take our trunk and the basket up to Dutton"s old house.

When all was ready, we walked up the hill, followed by Danny and the cart. We found the house a large, low, old-fashioned farm-house, standing near the road with a long piazza in front, and a magnificent view of mountain-tops in the rear. Within, the lower rooms were large and low, with quite a good deal of furniture in them. There was no earthly reason why we should not be perfectly jolly and comfortable here. The more we saw the more delighted we were at the odd experience we were about to have. Mrs. Carson busied herself in getting things in order for our supper and general accommodation. She made Danny carry our trunk to a bedroom in the second story, and then set him to work building a fire in a great fire-place, with a crane for the kettle.

When she had done all she could, it was nearly dark, and after lighting a couple of candles, she left us, to go home and get supper for her own family.

As she and Danny were about to depart in the cart, she ran back to ask us if we would like to borrow a dog.

"There aint nuthin to be afeard of," she said; "for n.o.body hardly ever takes the trouble to lock the doors in these parts, but bein" city folks, I thought ye might feel better if ye had a dog."

We made haste to tell her that we were not city folks, but declined the dog. Indeed, Euphemia remarked that she would be much more afraid of a strange dog than of robbers.

After supper, which we enjoyed as much as any meal we ever ate in our lives, we each took a candle, and after arranging our bedroom for the night, we explored the old house. There were lots of curious things everywhere,--things that were apparently so "old timey," as my wife remarked, that David Dutton did not care to take them with him to his new farm, and so left them for his son, who probably cared for them even less than his father did. There was a garret extending over the whole house, and filled with old spinning-wheels, and strings of onions, and all sorts of antiquated bric-a-brac, which was so fascinating to me that I could scarcely tear myself away from it; but Euphemia, who was dreadfully afraid that I would set the whole place on fire, at length prevailed on me to come down.

We slept soundly that night, in what was probably the best bedroom in the house, and awoke with a feeling that we were about to enter on a period of some uncommon kind of jollity, which we found to be true when we went down to get breakfest. I made the fire, Euphemia made the coffee, and Mrs. Carson came with cream and some fresh eggs. The good woman was in high spirits. She was evidently pleased at the idea of having neighbors, temporary though they were, and it had probably been a long time since she had had such a chance of selling milk, eggs, and sundries. It was almost the same as opening a country store. We bought groceries and every thing of her.

We had a glorious time that day. We were just starting out for a mountain stroll when our stage-driver came along on his down trip.

"h.e.l.lo!" he called out. "Want to go back this morning?"

"Not a bit of it," I cried. "We wont go back for a couple of weeks.

We"ve settled here for the present."

The man smiled. He didn"t seem to understand it exactly, but he was evidently glad to see us so well satisfied. If he had had time to stop and have the matter explained to him, he would probably have been better satisfied; but as it was, he waved his whip to us and drove on. He was a good fellow.

We strolled all day, having locked up the house and taken our lunch with us; and when we came back, it seemed really like coming home. Mrs.

Carson, with whom we had left the key, had brought the milk and was making the fire. This woman was too kind. We determined to try and repay her in some way. After a splendid supper we went to bed happy.

The next day was a repet.i.tion of this one, but the day after it rained.

So we determined to enjoy the old tavern, and we rummaged about everywhere. I visited the garret again, and we went to the old barn, with its mows half full of hay, and had rare times climbing about there.

We were delighted that it happened to rain. In a wood-shed, near the house, I saw a big square board with letters on it. I examined the board, and found it was a sign,--a hanging sign,--and on it was painted in letters that were yet quite plain:

"FARMERS"

AND MECHANICS"

HOTEL."

I called to Euphemia and told her that I had found the old tavern sign.

She came to look at it, and I pulled it out.

"Soldiers and sailors!" she exclaimed; "that"s funny."