Losing Control

Chapter 20

The night was so dark and the city was visible from this height. The terrace in Thorne"s loft was hands down one of my favorite places in the city. Thorne was standing there close to the edge, in an almost transparent white shirt, looking just as gorgeous as ever. But there was a lost expression on his face. When I walked up to him, I tried not to let him hear my footsteps but that didn"t work.

"Lane let you in?" he asked, without looking at me.

"You"re not the only one who has the right to intrude in people"s private living set-ups."

He turned to face me. "Touche."

"What are you doing up here?" I asked. "Trying to solve life"s mysteries?"



His shirt was open from the front, just casually hanging on his body. The sight made me nervous. He also had a gla.s.s of whiskey in his hand and his eyes looked like he had been at it for a while. "A Bon Jovi reference," he said. "I should have known."

"Are you surprised that I"m a Bon Jovi fan or that you know the reference?"

He looked at me with the beginnings of a grin. "Word play is your thing, Elena not mine."

"No wise-a.s.s remarks," I said. "Some would say you"re losing your touch." I paused and then added, "And you"re obviously drinking too much."

Thorne walked right up to me and just stood there, looking like that.

"You"ve come here to make me stop?" he asked, all blue eyes and open shirt and masculine fragrance.

"Don"t do that," I said.

"Do what?"

"That whole aI"m too s.e.xy and you know it" routine."

"Did it work?"

And that made me laugh.

"Great," he said with mock seriousness. "You"re breaking my heart with that laughter."

"Well you almost broke mine," I said, serious now.

"I"m sorry Elena," he said. "Remember once I told you to give me a chance when you caught me with Cyndi at the club? I hadn"t done anything, but I had kept it from you. And I never gave you reason to be sorry, did I? I kept my word. You need to have that kind of faith in me again. I will never give you reason to regret it."

After a while of looking at his face, I finally said what I had come here to tell him.

"Fine," I said. "I"m going to forgive you."

"Seriously?" he asked. "No penalties?"

"Sure," I said. "I can think of a few."

I went closer to him and I had to stand on my toes a little to reach his lips but when I did find them, the desire comes right back.

"In that case," Thorne said, breaking off. "You"re free to discipline me for a change."

This time, I couldn"t help grinning wide. "So," I said. "Now that we"re doing the whole full disclosure thing, I need to know Thorne: what did you have to do to get me a job at your office?"

"Well," Thorne said. "I might have...sorta created an entire department for you."

My jaw was seriously left hanging this time. "Please tell me you"re joking?"

Thorne laughed. "I"m sorry but I"m not joking."

We both heard a thud from inside the loft and then the sound of gla.s.s breaking and we both rushed inside the loft to find Lane collapsed on the floor next to the breakfast bar. He was bleeding through the nose and unconscious.

"Lane!" Thorne tried to shake him awake but nothing. He checked Lane"s pulse. "He"s not breathing!"

I rushed to call 911 but Thorne picked Lane up and carried him outside the loft, and I went with him. We got into the elevator and all the way down, Thorne didn"t say a word. He quietly placed Lane in the back of his Lexus and we drove to the emergency room.

THORNE.

Lane was propped up in bed, still connected to the machines when I went in. He looked a little worse for the wear but at least he was vertical. I felt a strange sense of relief. I went straight to him and hugged him.

"It was an accident," he said the minute I pulled away. I could tell how agitated he was.

"It"s okay," I said.

"Thorne, I swear it was an accident," Lane repeated. "I didn"t do it on purpose."

"Lane, with your history-"

"It was a f.u.c.king accident!" he yelled loudly this time. "Why won"t anyone believe me?"

"Lane," I said. "They found heroin in your system. It reacted with the antidepressants."

"I must have miscalculated..."

"Lane, are you listening to yourself?" I said. "You told me you wouldn"t use that stuff again, you promised me!"

"I know," he said, in the same agitated voice. "I know I did." He paused, and then grabbed my arm. "Don"t let them send me to that place," he said, and he was almost in tears. "Please. You gotta talk to Mom and Dad, Thorne. I can kick this thing on my own, I just need your help."

"I"m here for you Lane," I said. "But you have to go to the facility."

"What?"

"With your history, they"re right to be concerned. The doctors all say the same. You need help and they can get you help."

"No!" Lane yelled. "I won"t go back to that h.e.l.l! I just won"t!"

"I"m sorry," I said. "But you leave me no choice."

"Get out."

"Lane-"

"Get the f.u.c.k out of here! I don"t need you!"

He looked angry.

Angry and hurt.

I could think of nothing more to say to him.

So I got up and left the room.

"How"s he doing?" Elena asked when I stepped outside the hospital room. She had barely gone home ever since it happened yesterday.

"He"s better now," I told her. "But he hates me."

"Why?"

"Because I"m sending him to a care facility," Thorne said. "It"s the only option. I talked to the doctors. I can"t let him harm himself and if he stays here, that"s exactly what"s going to happen."

"Thorne," Elena said. "He will understand. He"s messed up right now, but you"re getting him help. That"s all that matters. You need to be a parent to him now more than ever. And parenting isn"t a popularity contest. You don"t always win the votes."

"I know that," I said. "But it still hurts just the same."

Six Months Later

ELENA.

The blindfold covered my eyes and I couldn"t see a thing.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked.

Thorne"s hand was guiding me, leading me towards the unknown. But because he was there I knew I had nothing to fear. Finally, he made me stop and took off the blindfold. It was the first time I got a glimpse of him and my surroundings-the ornate bedroom with the lavish furnishings and Thorne wearing the usual-a crisp black shirt and a tie.

"What"s put you in such a good mood?" I asked, walking a few paces around the bedroom. My feet felt just a little bit tired in the heels that I"d been wearing since that morning because Thorne had wanted me to, but I knew now it would be completely worth it.

"Does that mean I"m usually bad-tempered?"

"No," I said. "But you are known to throw a few tantrums."

"That"s for work people and business rivals," Thorne said. "In any case, I actually do have some good news."

I stopped walking and turned to him. "Yeah?"

"Lane called," Thorne said and now I knew why he looked so positive. "He"s feeling better. They think he"s doing really well. In another two weeks he"s going to be back home."

"That"s good news!"

Thorne kept smiling. "I know."

"And you talked to him?"

"Yes."

"He"s not angry?"

"Not even a little bit. It looks like the therapy is working. Of course, it"s going to be a work in progress but still, it"s something."

"Of course, Thorne. This is major. I"m so happy for you."

"And," Thorne said. "Since I met you, and since Lane likes to crash at the loft sometimes, instead of going to live with my parents, I thought maybe we needed a new place."

"Thorne?"

"Elena," Thorne said. "Meet our new home!"

"Our home?" I said, a little confused. "Thorne, I haven"t said yes to moving in with you."

"I know that," Thorne said. "Which is why, it"s up to me to explain to you why it"s important. First: I know you think you live with Penny but here"s the thing-this past week you haven"t been to that apartment, not even once. Second: Most of your stuff is already at my place. Third: Commuting from Brooklyn to the loft is uncomfortable, to say the least," he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him. "Fourth: I love you and I want to be with you as much as possible."

"Thorne that"s all well and good but..."

"Elena?" he said, raising a hand to a lock of my hair and pushing it aside. "Do you want to please me?"

The words made me forget what I was going to say and I just stared at him, speechless.

Thorne led me toward the bed and pushed me onto it.

"Well?" he said, unb.u.t.toning his shirt.

The sight of his chest and the six-pack abs made me shudder. He knew the effect he was having on me because he looked c.o.c.ky as he was yanking off my jeans. "Thorne...stop," I said, barely even able to speak.

But he continued undressing me, unb.u.t.toned my shirt, and ran his hand over my bare thigh. Then the same hand was going over my navel in an upwards motion, until he was running them over the bare skin of my chest, over the bra. He came to kiss me on the lips and I cupped my hands around his face, used my tongue to get into his mouth. Still kissing me pa.s.sionately his hand ventured towards my breast, and I ran my hands over his back, pulling him in closer. With my hands resting on his shoulders his mouth descended on my bra, as he used his teeth to pry off one side of the fabric until my b.r.e.a.s.t.s were on display. He did the same to the other side and then took turns licking those erect nipples, leaving them hard, wet nubs, my entire body burning with the flame of longing. The more he touched me and the more intimate his tongue became, the more my body craved the touch. The aching center of my desire was full, engorged with the pa.s.sion of l.u.s.t and need. "Thorne," I said. "You need to stop."