My s.h.i.+jie, s.h.i.+yi, Tai s.h.i.+shu… Are All The Same Person

It"s said that it’s easy to tell whether or not someone is part of the pugilistic world. They say the way they knock on your door gives it away.

Normal people knock by actually knocking on your door. If there’s no response, they’ll call for you. If you don’t answer, then they’ll open the door themselves and check things out. If no one is home, they’ll leave. But those in the pugilistic world are all the same. They all stand outside and yell…

They all yell: “Come the h.e.l.l out”. And should you not come out, they might wait outside for an entire day.

Just when I thought “Maybe I’ll be fine if I just stay at home for the day”, another female starts yelling.

“You not going to come out?”

Like h.e.l.l I’m coming out. You can’t do anything about it unless you break the codes of the pugilistic world.

“Ming Feizhen, what’s the t.i.tle of the book fourth from the left, on the second row shelf from the top of your bookshelf?”

Pfft, are you trying to mess with me? I remember that it’s the “One-Hundred Flowers, Wrong Fist” manual. I live an honourable and upright life, I’m impregnable.

“What’s in the martial arts manual opposite to it?”

s.h.i.+t! I started breaking into a cold sweat… Did she find out about my ‘Wu Shan Yan"s History’ book**?

“Oh yeah, I was going to invite your fellow disciples to come and enjoy that collection of paintings you have in the box under your bed. What do you think?”

I shouted:  “I’m coming, I’m coming!”

“Let’s talk this over. Please spare me, great hero”, as I put a smile on and went out to greet her.

“Wow~ Junior s.h.i.+yi, it’s nice to have you.”

To be honest, I’d rather see anybody else from the sect but her…”

Even if it was my s.h.i.+fu, I’d have my ways of dealing with him, but her…

As soon as I opened the door, I saw a suave and beautiful woman dressed in a snow-white robe standing outside.

My G.o.d…

She wore a popular white warrior’s robe from outside the area. Clothing from outside the area is always s.e.xy and tends to have the wearer bear their goods. Her robe made her G.o.d-gifted body lines so much more p.r.o.nounced. Her collar was slightly undone, revealing her beautiful white swan-like neck, and a bit further down were her glorious hips. My eyes were glued to her mesmerizing body. I"m not afraid of high mountains, but I certainly am afraid of deep valleys…*

If she were to walk the streets like this, so many guys would fall for her. Although, I do think a bunch already have fallen head over heels for her… She doesn’t comb her hair, and leaves it down behind her. It looks beautiful, yet gives off a lazy vibe at the same time. This is her normal dress-up. She goes about her business alone and always does things in an unorthodox manner.

To be honest, before I opened the door, I made a bet with myself. I bet I’d be able to stop myself from checking her out. I proved that I could prevent myself from looking right away, but in the end, my eyes helplessly glued themselves to her.

This is why I don"t like to see her. Whenever I see her, I have to fight this internal urge…

I did my absolute best to put on a “Looking at people’s chest while talking to them is basic etiquette” expression, only to discover after a few steps that her skirt had a secret too.

Her skirt was different to what people here in the mainland wear. It doesn’t fully cover up her legs, it’s just long. Seeing her revealing white legs drove me crazy. To all you guys outside the area, I want this robe to… “cough, cough”, Amitabha, seniors of the sect must be respected. I mustn’t look, I mustn’t look…

She stared at me unpleasantly, so I could only make my way to the front of her and force a smile that looked uglier than me crying.

“Sh-s.h.i.+yi?”

Her cold demeanour didn’t last for long as she started giggling.

“What are you acting so scared for?”

“I haven’t seen you in a while, so I am a bit excited.”

“Oh? What are you excited about?”

She smiled seductively and folded her arms, pus.h.i.+ng her twin valleys up, making them more revealing. I secretly did internal qi exercises three times to calm that internal urge down. I"ve to firmly believe that climbing “valleys” is the most romantic activity for men.

She looked at me silently. Then she pulled a funny face and revealed a gentle smile.

“You’re as strange as always. How long have we not seen each other?”

“Over a year?”

“It’s been one year, one-hundred and twenty-eight days. You’ve holed up here and haven’t return to Mount Daluo since my nephew, your master snuck away. I came to take you out for a bit.”

Nope, you didn"t mishear that.

The old fart I call s.h.i.+fu really is her nephew.

Technically speaking, she"s not my junior s.h.i.+yi. She"s my grand s.h.i.+yi.

To explain to you her complex ident.i.ty, I need to start by telling you about my grandmaster first.

My grandmaster is still alive.

My master is in his sixty"s.

I don’t know exactly how old the grandmaster is. Some say he’s one-hundred and twenty, other’s say he’s just turned one-hundred, and there are also people who say he’s over one-hundred and forty. Based on my memory alone, the first time I saw him, his hair was already white, and looked roughly a hundred.

He’s a true hero unlike my unfettered and moral-when-it’s-convenient s.h.i.+fu. He’s heroic, and open-minded, which is why all of us disciples really respect him.

It’s rumoured that his cultivation level far surpa.s.ses humans and that he’s reached divinity. But to me, he looks like he’s suffering from Alzheimer"s and is slow with reactions…

My junior s.h.i.+yi here is said to be the daughter of his long-distant second uncle. In other words, she"s his younger cousin. Although they’re like eight generations apart, the grandmaster was able to demonstrate his respectable morals on caring for relatives and brought her into the sect as his junior. So she’s the second highest ranked person in the sect after the grandmaster.

I’m scared of running into her, but my s.h.i.+fu is even more scared of running into her…

Can you imagine the scene of an old man in his sixty"s calling a young beautiful maiden s.h.i.+shu***? I’d be scared of her even if I was diagnosed with some sort of disease.

Technically, I should be calling her grand s.h.i.+shu, but she doesn’t want anyone referring to her with a t.i.tle higher than s.h.i.+jie****. I don’t have the guts to challenge the rules of the sect, so I just call her junior s.h.i.+yi as a compromise.

She glanced at me and saw the bag I was carrying, and said in a reproaching tone: “What? Are you moving just to avoid me?”

Something felt wrong when I heard it, but I can’t put my finger on what it was.

“No, no!”

I shook my head in panic. I was struggling to stay calm.

“I was just going to make a trip to Nan Jing.”

Glossary

*Meaning he isn"t worried that a woman looks good, but he"s afraid of becoming infatuated with her

**A book from the Qing dynasty about a guy who had many affairs, and ended up with a harem and blissful life.

***s.h.i.+shu = 师叔 = Senior Uncle (In schools)

**** s.h.i.+jie =师姐 = Senior Sister (In schools)Note: She doesn"t want to be referred to with a higher t.i.tle because it makes her sound old