8. We were never able to detect a shadow of deceit about her.

9. The clairvoyance never failed in any instance to be correct, so far as we were able to trace it.

As will be readily imagined, the girl became a useful member of the family. The lost valuables restored and the warnings against mischances given by her quite balanced her incapacity for peculiar kinds of work.

This incapacity, however, rather increased than diminished; and, together with her fickle health, which also grew more unsettled, caused us a great deal of care. The Creston physician--who was a keen man in his way, for a country doctor--p.r.o.nounced the case altogether undreamt of before in Horatio"s philosophy, and kept constant notes of it. Some of these have, I believe, found their way into the medical journals.

After a while there came, like a thief in the night, that which I suppose was poor Selphar"s one unconscious, golden mission in this world. It came on a quiet summer night, that ended a long trance of a week"s continuance. Mother had gone out into the kitchen to give an order for breakfast. I heard a few eager words in Selphar"s voice, and then the door shut quickly, and it was an hour before it was opened.

Then my mother came to me without a particle of color in lips or cheek, and drew me away alone, and told the secret to me.

Selphar had seen Aunt Alice.

We sat down and looked at one another. There was a singular, pinched look about my mother"s mouth.

"Sarah."

"Yes."

"She says"--and then she told me what she said. She had seen Alice Stuart in a Western town, seven hundred miles away. Among the living, she desired to be counted of the dead. And that was all.

My mother paced the room three times back and forth, her hands locked.

"Sarah." There was a chill in her voice--it had been such a gentle voice!--that froze me. "Sarah, the girl is an impostor."

"Mother!"

She paced the room once more, three times, back and forth. "At any rate, she is a poor, self-deluded creature. How _can_ she see, seven hundred miles away, a dead woman who has been an angel all these years? Think!

an _angel_, Sarah! So much better than I, and I--I loved--"

Before or since, I never heard my mother speak like that. She broke off sharply, and froze back into her chilling voice.

"We will say nothing about this, if you please. I do not believe a word of it."

We said nothing about it but Selphar did. The delusion, if delusion it were, clung to her, haunted her, pursued her, week after week. To rid her of it, or to silence her, was impossible. She added no new facts to her first statement, but insisted that the long-lost dead was yet alive, with a quiet pertinacity that it was simply impossible to ridicule, frighten, threaten, or cross-question out of her. Clara was so thoroughly alarmed that she would not have slept alone for any mortal--perhaps not for any immortal--considerations. Winthrop and I talked the matter over often and gravely when we were alone and in quiet places. Mother"s lips were sealed. From the day when Sel made the first disclosure, she was never heard once to refer to the matter. A perceptible haughtiness crept into her manner towards the girl. She even talked of dismissing her, but repented it, and melted into momentary gentleness. I could have cried over her that night. I was beginning to understand what a pitiful struggle her life had become, and how alone she must be in it. She _would_ not believe--she knew not what. She could not doubt the girl. And with the conflict even her children could not intermeddle.

To understand the crisis into which she was brought, the reader must bear in mind our long habit of belief, not only in Selphar"s personal honesty, but in the infallibility of her mysterious power. Indeed, it had almost ceased to be mysterious to us, from daily familiarity. We had come to regard it as the curious working of physical disease, had taken its results as a matter of course, and had ceased, in common with converted Creston, to doubt the girl"s capacity for seeing anything that she chose to, at any place.

Thus a year worried on. My mother grew sleepless and pallid. She laughed often, in a nervous, shallow way, as unlike her as a b.u.t.terfly is unlike a sunset; and her face settled into an habitual sharpness and hardness unutterably painful to me.

Once only I ventured to break into the silence of the haunting thought that, she knew and we knew, was never escaped by either. "Mother, it would do no harm for Winthrop to go out West, and--"

She interrupted me sternly: "Sarah, I had not thought you capable of such childish superst.i.tion, I wish that girl and her nonsense had never come into this house!"--turning sharply away, and out of the room.

But year and struggle ended. They ended at last, as I had prayed every night and morning of it that they should end. Mother came into my room one night, locked the door behind her, and walking over to the window, stood with her face turned from me, and softly spoke my name.

But that was all, for a little while. Then,--"Sick and in suffering, Sarah! The girl,--she may be right; G.o.d Almighty knows! _Sick and in suffering_, you see! I am going--I think." Then her voice broke.

Creston put on its spectacles and looked wise on learning, the next day, that Mrs. Dugald had taken the earliest morning train for the West, on sudden and important business. It was precisely what Creston expected, and just like the Dugalds for all the world--gone to hunt up material for that genealogical book, or map, or tree, or something, that they thought n.o.body knew they were going to publish. O yes, Creston understood it perfectly.

s.p.a.ce forbids me to relate in detail the clews which Selphar had given as to the whereabouts of the wanderer. Her trances, just at this time, were somewhat scarce and fragmentary, and the information she had professed to give had come in s.n.a.t.c.hes and very imperfectly,--the trance being apt to end suddenly at the moment when some important question was pending, and then, of course, all memory of what she had said, or was about to say, was gone. The names and appearance of persons and places necessary to the search had, however, been given with sufficient distinctness to serve as a guide in my mother"s rather chimerical undertaking. I suppose ninety-nine persons out of a hundred would have thought her a candidate for the State Lunatic Asylum. Exactly what she herself expected, hoped, or feared, I think it doubtful if she knew. I confess to a condition of simple bewilderment, when she was fairly gone, and Clara and I were left alone with Selphar"s ghostly eyes forever on us. One night I had to lock the poor thing into her garret-room before I could sleep.

Just three weeks from the day on which mother started for the West, the coach rattled up to the door, and two women, arm in arm, came slowly up the walk. The one, erect, royal, with her great steadfast eyes alight; the other, bent and worn, gray-haired and shallow and dumb, crawling feebly through the golden afternoon sunshine, as the ghost of a glorious life might crawl back to its grave.

Mother threw open the door, and stood there like a queen. "Children, your aunt has come home. She is too tired to talk just now. By and by she will be glad to see you."

We took her gently upstairs, into the room where the lilies were mouldering to dust, and laid her down upon the bed. She closed her eyes wearily, turned her face over to the wall, and said no word.

What was the story of those tired eyes I never asked and I never knew.

Once, as I pa.s.sed the room, I saw,--and have always been glad that I saw,--through the open door, the two women lying with their arms about each other"s neck, as they used to do when they were children together, and above them, still and watchful, the wounded Face that had waited there so many years for this.

She lingered weakly there, within the restful room, for seven days, and then one morning we found her with her eyes upon the thorn-crowned Face, her own quite still and smiling.

A little funeral train wound away one night behind the church, and left her down among those red-cup mosses that opened in so few months again to cradle the sister who had loved her. Her name only, by mother"s orders, marked the headstone.

I have given you facts. Explain them as you will. I do not attempt it, for the simple reason that I cannot.

A word must be said as to the fate of poor Sel, which was mournful enough. Her trances grew gradually more frequent and erratic, till she became so thoroughly diseased in mind and body as to be entirely unfitted for household work, and, in short, nothing but an enc.u.mbrance.

We kept her, however, for the sake of charity, and should have done so till her poor, tormented life wore itself out; but after the advent of a new servant, and my mother"s death, she conceived the idea that she was a burden, cried over it a few weeks, and at last, one bitter winter"s night, she disappeared. We did not give up all search for her for years, but nothing was ever heard from her. He, I hope, who permitted life to be such a terrible mystery to her, has cared for her somehow, and kindly and well.

In the Gray Goth.

If the wick of the big oil lamp had been cut straight I don"t believe it would ever have happened.

Where is the poker, Johnny? Can"t you push back that for"ard log a little? Dear, dear! Well, it doesn"t make much difference, does it?

Something always seems to all your Ma.s.sachusetts fires; your hickory is green, and your maple is gnarly, and the worms eat out your oak like a sponge. I haven"t seen anything like what I call a fire,--not since Mary Ann was married, and I came here to stay. "As long as you live, father,"

she said; and in that very letter she told me I should always have an open fire, and how she wouldn"t let Jacob put in the air-tight in the sitting-room, but had the fireplace kept on purpose. Mary Ann was a good girl always, if I remember straight, and I"m sure I don"t complain.

Isn"t that a pine-knot at the bottom of the basket? There! that"s better.

Let me see; I began to tell you something, didn"t I? O yes; about that winter of "41. I remember now. I declare, I can"t get over it, to think you never heard about it, and you twenty-four year old come Christmas.

You don"t know much more, either, about Maine folks and Maine fashions than you do about China,--though it"s small wonder, for the matter of that, you were such a little shaver when Uncle Jed took you. There were a great many of us, it seems to me, that year, I "most forget how many;--we buried the twins next summer, didn"t we?--then there was Mary Ann, and little Nancy, and--well, coffee was dearer than ever I"d seen it, I know, about that time, and b.u.t.ter selling for nothing; we just threw our milk away, and there wasn"t any market for eggs; besides doctor"s bills and Isaac to be sent to school; so it seemed to be the best thing, though your mother took on pretty badly about it at first.

Jedediah has been good to you, I"m sure, and brought you up religious,--though you"ve cost him a sight, spending three hundred and fifty dollars a year at Amherst College.

But, as I was going to say, when I started to talk about "41,--to tell the truth, Johnny, I"m always a long while coming to it, I believe. I"m getting to be an old man,--a little of a coward, maybe, and sometimes, when I sit alone here nights, and think it over, it"s just like the toothache, Johnny. As I was saying, if she had cut that wick straight, I do believe it wouldn"t have happened,--though it isn"t that I mean to lay the blame on her _now_.

I"d been out at work all day about the place, slicking things up for to-morrow; there was a gap in the barn-yard fence to mend,--I left that till the last thing, I remember,--I remember everything, some way or other, that happened that day,--and there was a new roof to put on the pig-pen, and the grape-vine needed an extra layer of straw, and the latch was loose on the south barn-door; then I had to go round and take a last look at the sheep, and toss down an extra forkful for the cows, and go into the stall to have a talk with Ben, and unb.u.t.ton the coop-door to see if the hens looked warm,--just to tuck "em up, as you might say. I always felt sort of homesick--though I wouldn"t have owned up to it, not even to Nancy--saying good-by to the creeturs the night before I went in. There, now! it beats all, to think, you don"t know what I"m talking about, and you a lumberman"s son. "Going in" is going up into the woods, you know, to cut and haul for the winter,--up, sometimes, a hundred miles deep,--in in the fall and out in the spring; whole gangs of us shut up there sometimes for six months, then down with the freshets on the logs, and all summer to work the farm,--a merry sort of life when you get used to it, Johnny; but it was a great while ago, and it seems to me as if it must have been very cold.--Isn"t there a little draft coming in at the pantry door?

So when I"d said good-by to the creeturs,--I remember just as plain how Ben put his great neck on my shoulder and whinnied like a baby,--that horse know when the season came round and I was going in, just as well as I did,--I tinkered up the barn-yard fence, and locked the doors, and went in to supper.

I gave my finger a knock with the hammer, which may have had something to do with it, for a man doesn"t feel very good-natured when he"s been green enough to do a thing like that, and he doesn"t like to say it aches either. But if there is anything I can"t bear it is lamp-smoke; it always did put me out, and I expect it always will. Nancy knew what a fuss I made about it, and she was always very careful not to hector me with it. I ought to have remembered that, but I didn"t. She had lighted the company lamp on purpose, too, because it was my last night. I liked it better than the tallow candle.

So I came in, stamping off the snow, and they were all in there about the fire,--the twins, and Mary Ann, and the rest; baby was sick, and Nancy was walking back and forth with him, with little Nancy pulling at her gown. You were the baby then, I believe, Johnny; but there always was a baby, and I don"t rightly remember. The room was so black with smoke, that they all looked as if they were swimming round and round in it. I guess coming in from the cold, and the pain in my finger and all, it made me a bit sick. At any rate, I threw open the window and blew out the light, as mad as a hornet.