Moonbeams from the Larger Lunacy

Chapter 21

"Here, Weege, Weege," said Sopley, anxious to make a diversion and picking up a little chip of wood,--"chase it, fetch it out!" and he made the motions of throwing it into the lake.

"Don"t throw it too far, Charles," said his wife. "He doesn"t swim awfully well," she continued, turning to me, "and I"m always afraid he might get out of his depth.

Last week he was ever so nearly drowned. Mr. Van Toy was in swimming, and he had on a dark blue suit (dark blue seems simply to infuriate Weejee) and Weejee just dashed in after him. He don"t MEAN anything, you know, it was only the SUIT made him angry,--he really likes Mr. Van Toy,--but just for a minute we were quite alarmed.

If Mr. Van Toy hadn"t carried Weejee in I think he might have been drowned.

"By jove!" I said in a tone to indicate how appalled I was.

"Let me throw the stick, Charles," continued Mrs. Sopley.

"Now, Weejee, look Weejee--here, good dog--look! look now (sometimes Weejee simply won"t do what one wants), here, Weejee; now, good dog!"

Weejee had his tail sideways between his legs and was moving towards me again.

"Hold on," said Sopley in a stern tone, "let me throw him in."

"Do be careful, Charles," said his wife.

Sopley picked Weejee up by the collar and carried him to the edge of the water--it was about six inches deep,--and threw him in,--with much the same force as, let us say, a pen is thrown into ink or a brush dipped into a pot of varnish.

"That"s enough; that"s quite enough, Charles," exclaimed Mrs. Sopley. "I think he"d better not swim. The water in the evening is always a little cold. Good dog, good doggie, good Weejee!"

Meantime "good Weejee" had come out of the water and was moving again towards me.

"He goes straight to you," said my hostess. "I think he must have taken a fancy to you."

He had.

To prove it, Weejee gave himself a rotary whirl like a twirled mop.

"Oh, I"m SO sorry," said Mrs. Sopley. "I am. He"s wetted you. Weejee, lie down, down, sir, good dog, bad dog, lie down!"

"It"s all right," I said. "I"ve another white suit in my valise."

"But you must be wet through," said Mrs. Sopley. "Perhaps we"d better go in. It"s getting late, anyway, isn"t it?"

And then she added to her husband, "I don"t think Weejee ought to sit out here now that he"s wet."

So we went in.

"I think you"ll find everything you need," said Sopley, as he showed me to my room, "and, by the way, don"t mind if Weejee comes into your room at night. We like to let him run all over the house and he often sleeps on this bed."

"All right," I said cheerfully, "I"ll look after him."

That night Weejee came.

And when it was far on in the dead of night--so that even the lake and the trees were hushed in sleep, I took Weejee out and--but there is no need to give the details of it.

And the Sopleys are still wondering where Weejee has gone to, and waiting for him to come back, because he is so clever at finding his way.

But from where Weejee is, no one finds his way back.

XIV.--Sidelights on the Supermen. An Interview with General Bernhardi.

He came into my room in that modest, Prussian way that he has, clicking his heels together, his head very erect, his neck tightly gripped in his forty-two centimeter collar. He had on a Pickelhaube, or Prussian helmet, which he removed with a sweeping gesture and laid on the sofa.

So I knew at once that it was General Bernhardi.

In spite of his age he looked--I am bound to admit it--a fine figure of a man. There was a splendid fullness about his chest and shoulders, and a suggestion of rugged power all over him. I had not heard him on the stairs. He seemed to appear suddenly beside me.

"How did you get past the janitor?" I asked. For it was late at night, and my room at college is three flights up the stairs.

"The janitor," he answered carelessly, "I killed him."

I gave a gasp.

"His resistance," the general went on, "was very slight.

Apparently in this country your janitors are unarmed."

"You killed him?" I asked.

"We Prussians," said Bernhardi, "when we wish an immediate access anywhere, always kill the janitor. It is quicker: and it makes for efficiency. It impresses them with a sense of our Furchtbarkeit. You have no word for that in English, I believe?"

"Not outside of a livery stable," I answered.

There was a pause. I was thinking of the janitor. It seemed in a sort of way--I admit that I have a sentimental streak in me--a deplorable thing.

"Sit down," I said presently.

"Thank you," answered the General, but remained standing.

"All right," I said, "do it."

"Thank you," he repeated, without moving.

"I forgot," I said. "Perhaps you CAN"T sit down."

"Not very well," he answered; "in fact, we Prussian officers"--here he drew himself up higher still--"never sit down. Our uniforms do not permit of it. This inspires us with a kind of Rastlosigkeit." Here his eyes glittered.

"It must," I said.

"In fact, with an Unsittlichkeit--an Unverschamtheit--with an Ein-fur-alle-mal-un-dur-chaus--"

"Exactly," I said, for I saw that he was getting excited, "but pray tell me, General, to what do I owe the honour of this visit?"

The General"s manner changed at once.

"Highly learned, and high-well-born-professor," he said, "I come to you as to a fellow author, known and honoured not merely in England, for that is nothing, but in Germany herself, and in Turkey, the very home of Culture."