Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas

Chapter 9

And all this because--in a momentary annoyance at finding myself in the power of a discharged cashier who calls me "I say, Torvald," I expressed myself with ultra-Gilbertian frankness! You talk like a silly child!

NORA.

Because my eyes are opened, and I see my position with the eyes of Ibsen. I must go away at once, and begin to educate myself.

HELMER.

May I ask how you are going to set about it?

NORA.

Certainly. I shall begin--yes, I shall _begin_ with a course of the Norwegian theatres. If _that_ doesn"t take the frivolity out of me, I don"t really know what _will_!

[_She gets her bonnet and ties it tightly._

HELMER.

Then you are really going? And you"ll never think about me and the eggs any more! Oh, Nora!

NORA.

Indeed, I shall--occasionally--as strangers.

[_She puts on a shawl sadly, and fetches her dressing-bag._] If I ever do come back, the greatest miracle of all will have to happen. Good-bye!

[_She goes out through the hall; the front door is heard to bang loudly._

HELMER.

[_Sinking on a chair._] The room empty? Then she must be gone! Yes, my little lark has flown! [_The dull sound of an unskilled latchkey is heard trying the lock; presently the door opens, and_ NORA, _with a somewhat foolish expression, reappears._] What? back already! Then you _are_ educated?

NORA.

[_Puts down dressing-bag._] No, Torvald, not yet. Only, you see, I found I had only threepence-halfpenny in my purse, and the Norwegian theatres are all closed at this hour--and so I thought I wouldn"t leave the cage till to-morrow--after breakfast.

HELMER.

[_As if to himself._] The greatest miracle of all has happened. My little bird is not in the bush _just_ yet!

[NORA _takes down a showily-bound dictionary from the shelf and begins her education;_ HELMER _fetches a bag of macaroons, sits near her, and tenders one humbly. A pause._ NORA _repulses it, proudly. He offers it again. She s.n.a.t.c.hes at it suddenly, still without looking at him, and nibbles it thoughtfully as Curtain falls._

* * * * *

HEDDA GABLER

ACT FIRST

SCENE--_A sitting-room cheerfully decorated in dark colours. Broad doorway, hung with black c.r.a.pe, in the wall at back, leading to a back drawing-room, in which, above a sofa in black horsehair, hangs a posthumous portrait of the late_ GENERAL GABLER. _On the piano is a handsome pall. Through the gla.s.s panes of the back drawing-room window are seen a dead wall and a cemetery. Settees, sofas, chairs, &c., handsomely upholstered in black bombazine, and studded with small round nails. Bouquets of immortelles and dead gra.s.ses are lying everywhere about._

_Enter_ AUNT JULIE (_a good-natured-looking lady in a smart hat._)

AUNT JULIE.

Well, I declare, if I believe George or Hedda are up yet! [_Enter_ GEORGE TESMAN, _humming, stout, careless, spectacled._] Ah, my dear boy, I have called before breakfast to inquire how you and Hedda are after returning late last night from your long honeymoon. Oh, dear me, yes; am I not your old aunt, and are not these attentions usual in Norway?

GEORGE.

Good Lord, yes! My six months" honeymoon has been quite a little travelling scholarship, eh? I have been examining archives. Think of _that_! Look here, I"m going to write a book all about the domestic interests of the Cave-dwellers during the Deluge. I"m a clever young Norwegian man of letters, eh?

AUNT JULIE.

Fancy your knowing about that too! Now, dear me, thank Heaven!

GEORGE.

Let me, as a dutiful Norwegian nephew, untie that smart, showy hat of yours. [_Unties it, and pats her under the chin._] Well, to be sure, you have got yourself really up--fancy that!

[_He puts hat on chair close to table._

AUNT JULIE.

[_Giggling._] It was for Hedda"s sake--to go out walking with her in.

[HEDDA _approaches from the back-room; she is pallid, with cold, open, steel-grey eyes; her hair is not very thick, but what there is of it is an agreeable medium brown._] Ah, dear Hedda!

[_She attempts to cuddle her._

HEDDA.

[_Shrinking back._] Ugh, let me go, do! [_Looking at_ AUNT JULIE"S _hat._] Tesman, you must really tell the housemaid not to leave her old hat about on the drawing-room chairs. Oh, is it _your_ hat? Sorry I spoke, I"m sure!

AUNT JULIE.

[_Annoyed._] Good gracious, little Mrs. Hedda; my nice new hat that I bought to go out walking with _you_ in!

GEORGE.

[_Patting her on the back._] Yes, Hedda, she did, and the parasol too!

Fancy, Aunt Julie always positively thinks of everything, eh?

HEDDA.

[_Coldly._] You hold _your_ tongue. Catch me going out walking with your aunt! One doesn"t _do_ such things.

GEORGE.

[_Beaming._] Isn"t she a charming woman? Such fascinating manners! My goodness, eh? Fancy that!

AUNT JULIE.