Chapter 56: I Disgusted Myself

A wave of annoyance secretly came over her. Fortunately, her anger didn’t get the better of her. She suppressed her annoyance and gave w.a.n.g Hu a cold reply.

Roar~!

“What does how I feel have anything to do with you? And is it even something that you can bother yourself with?”

w.a.n.g Hu secretly curled his lip.

Not bother? If I didn’t bother myself with a stuck-up, silly thing like you; you’ll probably be even angrier.

Considering that increasingly colder and haughtier demeanor of yours during the last two days, aren’t you just short of writing the words ‘come and coax me out of my anger’ on your face?

It’s as if you’re a child.

What was he to do? Having gotten herself a good husband like him, one could only say that Silly Girl was blessed. It wasn’t something one could do anything about just by being envious.

Roar~!

After let his imagination run wild for a while, w.a.n.g Hu said gently and also somewhat worriedly, “You’re angry at me, Baijun. You can’t deceive me. Hurry and tell me why you’re angry? Did I do anything wrong?”

At last, Di Baijun couldn’t stand it anymore. She glared at him and gave a low roar.

Roar~!

“I told you I’m not angry. Didn’t you hear me?”

Roar~!

w.a.n.g Hu’s eyes widened. He showed no sign of fear. Instead, as if he had found some evidence, he quickly said, “Look at you, look at you. You’re angry, aren’t you? You can’t deceive me, Baijun.”

Di Baijun suddenly became so angry that she almost wanted to laugh, and she nearly gave that d*mned face a tight slap across the cheek.

Roar~!

She stopped putting on airs and roared furiously, “Get lost!”

Roar~!

“See? And yet you claimed that you weren’t angry. Why don’t you just tell me if you’re angry, Baijun? How would I know if you don’t say anything? And if I don’t know you’re angry, how can I apologize to you? How can I change? How can I stop making you angry?

“So you mustn’t not-admit it if you’re angry, Baijun. You have to tell me,” said w.a.n.g Hu seriously as though he didn’t realize anything.

Unable to stand it anymore, Di Baijun’s paw went flying toward w.a.n.g Hu.

Roar~!

“Shut up!”

w.a.n.g Hu ducked at once.

Roar~!

He glanced at Big Treasure and Little Treasure, who were already looking over at them curiously, and suggested softly, “Big Treasure and Little Treasure are still here, Baijun. Why don’t we talk over there instead?”

Di Baijun gnashed her teeth in fury.

That jerk! I must teach him a good lesson today.

Then, she ran into the distance with a leap.

w.a.n.g Hu’s eyes turned into curves at once, and he made up his mind.

If I don’t give you a good simping session, you won’t know who I am.

Roar~!

“Big Treasure, Little Treasure. Be good and watch your cartoons here and wait for Daddy and Mommy to return. Don’t misbehave, alright?”

The two little fellows stared at him curiously with their big eyes and nodded their little heads without any hesitation.

w.a.n.g Hu chased after Silly Girl right away.

When his back view disappeared from sight, Little Treasure turned to Big Treasure curiously.

Roar~!

“What’s the matter with Daddy and Mommy?”

As Big Treasure turned back and continued to look at the cell phone with great interest, he gave a careless shake of his head before he replied.

Roar~!

“I don’t know.”

Roar~!

“Is Mommy angry again?” a puzzled Little Treasure asked.

Big Treasure shook his head somewhat impatiently.

Roar~!

“I don’t know.”

…

The place actually wasn’t far from the two little fellows. They just turned the corner, that’s all.

Di Baijun gazed coldly at w.a.n.g Hu who was coming toward her.

Roar~!

“Tell me, what would you like to do, Baijun? I’m alright with anything.”

w.a.n.g Hu spoke sincerely. He looked as if he was prepared for anything and couldn’t wait to get started.

Di Baijun didn’t want to say anymore. Her paw went flying straight toward w.a.n.g Hu’s head.

Bam!

Roar~!

“How dare you give in to me, you jerk.”

“I’m not, Baijun.”

“Get up, you jerk!”

…

After a good twenty-odd minutes, the trembling of the ground finally calmed down.

w.a.n.g Hu pressed Di Baijun firmly against the ground, preventing her from getting back up. Even his breathing had become somewhat ragged.

Roar~!

“Get off me and get back up.”

Di Baijun shouted furiously as she panted heavily.

This time, w.a.n.g Hu didn’t get back up. When his breathing calmed down a little, he turned to Di Baijun and gazed seriously at her.

Roar~!

“Do you feel better now after fighting, Baijun?”

His words mildly stunned Di Baijun, and she snorted, not wanting to pay him any attention.

However, her anger had also subsided a little. After all, she’d just had a good venting session.

w.a.n.g Hu’s voice was incredibly gentle and determined.

Roar~!

“If you’re angry in the future, you can just vent your frustrations by beating me up, Baijun. I’m not afraid of being beaten up. It doesn’t hurt.

“I don’t want to see you angry. I swear I’ll always let you beat me up.”

Then, he got up.

Di Baijun, on the other hand, was stunned. A wave of anxiety, unease, and a feeling of a complete loss surged out of her heart, and she subconsciously employed the response that she was the most familiar with again.

Roar~!

“Hmph, I’ll tear you into pieces if you say any more nonsense.”

After that, she glared at him viciously again and ran off right away.

Once Silly Girl disappeared from sight, the gentle look in w.a.n.g Hu’s eyes vanished as well. Right away, he looked around him guiltily, an exceptionally fierce sense of disgust and shame coming over him.

D*mn it, he had successfully disgusted himself.

He didn’t really know how those simps had managed it in his past life.

As expected, he wasn’t capable of being a simp. He was completely unsuitable for this position.

However, the effect should be pretty good, though.

Based on Silly Girl’s reaction, she had evidently suffered quite the shock and was at a complete loss.

Come to think of it, this was really very strange. Women were simply so different from men.

He had disgusted even himself, and yet the woman could still calmly listen to those words and accept them. This was beyond his imagination.

As his thoughts wandered, they then returned to proper business—was it time to proceed to the next step?

Moreover, what was he going to do in the next step?

To be honest, he knew very well that despite how it might seem like Silly Girl was treating him much better than before…

From how she continuously revealed her outwardly stuck-up but inwardly considerate true nature, how she had gotten accustomed to his compliments and wanted to hear more of it, and how she wanted him to coax her out of her anger; one could see how he had advanced on his path as a simp.

However, these didn’t mean that Silly Girl had really come to like him or fallen in love with him.

The truth of the matter was—that silly thing had gotten used to it.

After all, he was the father to her children, and they had even lived together for three years. Moreover, Silly Girl had probably never seen a tiger like him or met anyone that simped over her like this in the past.

In some aspects, that silly thing was no different from a blank slate.

Under the influence of these various factors, she had slowly become accustomed to the presence of a jerk like him.

To a certain extent, one could say that she was subconsciously treating him as family rather than actual romantic love.

With regard to the biggest problem wedged in between the two of them, he had actually pondered over it for several nights.

At last, he had become sure of something—this was a problem that existed at the fundamental level of one’s ideology.

It was just like how a person could treat a monkey as family, but they would never fall in love with it.

Why?

This was exactly what a problem that existed at the fundamental level of one’s ideology was.

What was the problem that existed at the fundamental level of his and Silly Girl’s ideologies?

From the start to the end, he had been very understanding toward Silly Girl. He wouldn’t be able to accept the idea of love either if he were to suddenly discover overnight that he had conceived a child with a female monkey.

Silly Girl had likely also been a tiger in her past life. No estrangement between the two of them resulted from a difference in species. This made the situation significantly better.

Therefore, this wasn’t the cause.

In that case, after eliminating all other possibilities, w.a.n.g Hu gradually focused on a certain factor—worldliness[1].

Because of that feeling of how she had seemed like a lofty divine or celestial being that stood among the clouds she had given him back then, these words that Silly Girl frequently mentioned in the beginning had left a deep impression on him.

Worldliness. Immortals and G.o.ds.

These were two completely different terms. w.a.n.g Hu had seen a lot of stories about romances between divine beings and mortals in his past life.

He had even yearned for it before when he was a child. It was only when he had grown up that he realized those stories—such as the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl[2], Fairy Couple[3], and whatnot—were all just fantasies made up by some men in ancient times. They were awfully shameless stories. Just because they couldn’t get any in real life, they resorted to wanting to be favored upon by celestial maidens in their fantasies instead.

It was impossible for a relations.h.i.+p to work out between a divine being and a mortal. Disregarding every other factor and just focusing on one… because mortals consumed grains and food crops, their bodies would inevitably become sullied. No matter how they bathed, it was impossible for even the surface of their skin to be completely clean, let alone the inside of their bodies.

A divine being, however, didn’t. Moreover, they could even see the dirt in and on a mortal’s body at first glance. Pray tell, how could they possibly fall in love with someone with dirt all over their body?

Even among mortals, no one would fall in love with someone whose face was covered in dirt and seb.u.m either, right?

Moreover, the situation would be much worse in the eyes of a divine being.

He was undoubtedly a mortal right now. Silly Girl herself was also a mortal now.

However, she was already accustomed to being in a lofty position and being a divine being. She couldn’t pull herself down anymore. This was evident from how she addressed herself as ‘this n.o.ble One’.

Thus, w.a.n.g Hu surmised that this, the difference between a mortal and a divine being, must be the problem that existed at the fundamental level of his and Silly Girl’s ideologies.

One mustn’t let themselves be influenced by those stories and think that there was no fundamental ideological difference between a divine being and a mortal.

The more w.a.n.g Hu thought about it, the greater he felt that the underlying problem was and the more convinced he became. The problem was greater than even a difference in species.

However, there was nothing he could do about this at the moment. The only thing he could do was graduate from the worldly state by cultivating and become a divine being.

This wasn’t something that he could accomplish in a short time. Thus, the only thing he could do now was to continue his path of being a simp and deepen the concept of him as family until it ideally influenced Silly Girl’s concept of divinity and worldliness… and ultimately turned into romantic love.

He believed that there was still a small possibility that this could happen. After all, Silly Girl was also a mortal right now.

Even if it didn’t influence her to that extent, it must at least still be deep enough that it could shatter Silly Girl’s concept of divinity and worldliness faster and let her develop romantic feelings toward him after he graduated from a state of worldliness and became a divine being.

This was the core essence that he had slowly concluded over the last seven months.

Right now, the way of a simp’s second stage—paying compliments—had more or less concluded. Perhaps it was time that he started the third stage.

While w.a.n.g Hu was here thinking about how he should commence the way of a simp’s third stage—elsewhere, Di Baijun was having a soak in the pool and had a rather dazed look in her eyes. Every once in a while, a look of anger and irritation would come over her features, and she would even smack her paw angrily against the water.

It was only after a long while that she slowly came back to reality. Then, she angrily smacked the water hard again.

That jerk! All he knows is how to make me angry.

Hmph, when I reach the Divine Body Realm, I’ll definitely teach that jerk a good lesson.

Suddenly, a thought uncontrollably surfaced in her mind.

I wonder when that jerk will reach the Divine Body Realm.

As she regained her senses, she hurriedly wrinkled her nose.

Hmph.

Even when he’s reached the Divine Body Realm and graduated from the worldly state, that jerk should still go to h.e.l.l. Go to h.e.l.l!

A short while again later, when Di Baijun calmed down a lot more, she finally got out of the pool. With her chin raised, she started to walk back home haughtily and domineeringly.

[1] This refers to the worldly, secular nature of one’s existence as opposed to a divine being.

[2] This is a romantic Chinese folk tale about a mortal, Niulang, and a celestial maiden, Zhinü. Their love was forbidden, and thus they were banished to opposite sides of the heavenly river.

[3] This is a 2007 Chinese period drama about a celestial maiden that falls in love with a mortal.