“So weak”

After training with Calis for a year, he finally threw his wand on the ground seriously.

“You’re too weak! Why do you have such a short concentration span?!”, he covered his head with his hands and banged it on the floor, “When you were still in your last world, have you never meditated? Stuff like breathe in deeply, breathe out deeply and imagine a beautiful lake!”

“We-We-Well, I have!”, but I’ll always fall asleep…

“Then why do you have such a short attention span!”, Calis covered his head in frustration, “Don’t even think about high-level magic cause for you, even mid-level magic would be too hard…the ‘real’ Gilbert Bedivere shouldn’t be such a loser!”.

I’m sorry that the person inside is me.

“I’m not even going to talk about combat training…”, Calis ma.s.saged his temple while I smiled faintly…I’m also unable to use weapons properly.

Every time I pick up a sword, thoughts run into my mind, ‘It isn’t right!’, ‘Hey! This is against the law!’, ‘It’s a sharp object!’. I feel like my last world has brainwashed me to beware of any sharp objects, that they’re dangerous! But in this world, we have to use it for battles!

I’ve got to say, I can’t come to terms with this. I won’t feel anything if I’m hitting non-living things but when I have to duel with someone, I’ll start to feel nauseous and scared that I’ll hurt them. Nigel who often becomes my training partner will always say that I’m a kind person with a smile but Haref, who’s more straightforward than Nigel, would say “It’s cause you’re useless.”.

I don’t blame Haref, this world’s logic is far too different from my last world. A man who can’t even lift up a sword is no different from a loser, or worse… This world isn’t like my last world where we battle through wit but there’s magic, swords, anything you can use to harm one another…I don’t think I can accept it…

I’m not good at magic nor do I have the courage to wield a sword…maybe the word ‘useless’ from Haref may be too soft for someone like me.

Calis made a tired face, “I think, it might be best if you abandoned old morals. The reason why you’re not good at anything might be because you have too much information, from both your last world and this world. As for swords…it could possibly be due to your last world’s laws that’s stopping you…”

“…Actually, it might also be due to my personality…”, I dryly laughed.

“I think, if I were to be reborn and have memories from my last world from the moment I was born then I might’ve ended up like you.”, the fujoshi draped in the skin of a man said, “But because I…my last life’s memories came after, my morals are more in accordance with this world than my last world so I don’t have any problems.”.

I nodded, I kinda understood what he was saying but not really and lied down on the gra.s.s.

“If the ‘real’ Gilbert Bedivere’ was watching you, he would probably cry…”

“I think he’ll want to tear your soul away from his body”, Calis laughed before waving his hand around to check if there were any rocks and lied down slowly, “Gilbert Bedivere in the game is someone who’s serious, tries his best to reach his goals, everyone says that he’s stubborn”.

“He sounds like a completely opposite person to me.”

“Exactly, it just makes you want to laugh at how ironic the situation is.”, Calis smiled, “You appear lethargic while he appears serious, you’re straightforward while he keeps everything to himself…even though the beginning and the components are the same, the only thing that’s wrong is that, you have memories form your last life…”.

I closed my eyes and listened to Calis’ voice, “Normally, people who’s got memories from their past life will have better foundations than others. Even if you were a good-for-nothing in your last life, the time you’ve spent in your last life would make you more mature in this life, make you able to think systematically, makes you able to learn faster than others and may be, experiences from your last life will make you greater than anyone…it could make you become a ‘protagonist’ in every fairytale”.

“…”

“You died in your last life and if those memories from then is weighing you down, why don’t you abandon them and become the real ‘Gilbert Bedivere’. Would it not be better that way?”

I smiled but said nothing.

Because no one will understand.

No matter who.they may be…

“Why are you sleeping out here, Gil?”

I don’t know when I fell asleep.

“Haref? Nigel?”

I moaned and mumbled before rising up from the gra.s.s covered field. I saw familiar faces of my best friends, Nigel smiling faintly while Haref raised his eyebrow. If they are here then that means Calis isn’t around.

You have to understand, both of my friends find Calis repulsing. It might be because Calis has been going off to Salsaal lately that Nigel and Haref were able to finally come see me. I heard they were planning to elope…I meant getting Salsaal out of his house. I don’t know much about the details but it’s probably good cause they Prince hasn’t thrown anything on the ground to vent his anger.

“Oh, Haref you’ve cut your hair?”

I looked at Mr number-one-in-popularity whose hair is shorter than before. If he was a pretty girl when he had long hair then he’s a super handsome lad now! When he brushes his hair back…ooh. I swear girls will be ready to sell their souls to him if he also unb.u.t.tons his shirt!

As for Nigel…I…I won’t say anything! His descriptions would only torment himself! Trust me, even if it were to be Haref, he wouldn’t dare to say anything about Nigel!

“I’ve thought of cutting it for a long time and since we’re entering school next year I though I might as well cut it”, Haref touched his hair, “the colour stands out a bit too much”.

If you have guts then shave your entire head…I guarantee you won’t stand out.

“Haref when you have short hair, you seem more masculine…”, Nigel nodded, “it’s better this way”.

Naturally lil’ bro, you’re scared of girls, Haref with his long hair and beautiful features must’ve unnerved you for a while.

“By the way, why are you sleeping here?”, Haref’s rainbow coloured eyes glanced at the sword which rested on my waist, “Skipping training?”

“Not really, let’s just say…I’ve accidentally fallen asleep.”

“What’s the difference.”, Haref shook his head, “Stand up, you’ll have a light duel with Nigel today”.

I nodded. annoyed at his good will. Before this I’ve duelled once with Haref, the scary thing is this Lancelot would not go easy on you, even when I was running away, crawling away from him, there were no signs of him planning to stop!

He only stopped when my arm was spurting out blood and I was bawling my eyes out…

And when I asked him…

“Sorry…when I see a prey…I meant a weakling in front of me, it makes me want to make them cry…sigh…”. 

Let’s just say, Haref is on my blacklist which was why the person who has to duel with a stupid person like me now is Nigel…although my sword may go dangerously near his face at times, he would always be able to parry it…I swear I’m not a tiny bit sad!

After flicking my sword away for more than ten times, Nigel put his sword back. “Gil…why do you always attack around the face? I think it’s best if you focused on other vital parts…”.

I swear…it wasn’t intentional! I didn’t mean to!

I coughed slightly and put my sword back in its cover and hung it on my waist, “I miscalculated a bit…”.

“I actually don’t think it’s half bad to focus on the face”, the century’s genius said lethargically, this made Nigel turn to him, “…after that, attack their surrounding and close up on them while they’re unaware. Give them hope that they’ll survive then crush their dreams by cutting off their means of moving…huh.”.

I shivered…the innocent little kid from before is becoming more s.a.d.i.s.tic by the day…

“I think this method is only specific to Lancelots, I don’t think Gil has enough strength…”, Nigel turned to me, “Gil, you have to try harder…”.

I scratched my cheek, everyone’s been telling me to try harder all day, they all do it out of goodwill…but it’s just not what I want.

“Nigel…come look at this.”

Haref’s voice caught our attention. I don’t know when Mr number-one-in-popularity walked up to the area around my house’s old fountain. Haref’s face was still and his eyebrows were scrunched up together, something bad is probably happening.

This old fountain has been here every since I could remember. It’s been abandoned at the back of my house for a while, it might be because of the motif on it that my parents haven’t gotten rid of it yet.

“Is something wrong Haref.”

“Here…”, Haref’s finger pointed towards the base of the old fountain, “I can sense dark magic…”.

…suddenly, Salsaal’s despicable face sailed into my mind…I hope he’s not causing any troubles in my house.

Nigel was silent for a moment before looking at me and said skeptically, “Is it Ca.s.s Bedivere’s?”

“I don’t think it is, his powers has been sealed. Another thing, the dark magic here is more concentrated”, Haref scrunched his eyebrows together even tighter, “But now I can’t sense it anymore…why? It feels like it’s flickering…”.

…It sounds like one of those click-baits.

“Should we notify Duke Bedivere?”, Nigel’s countenance became serious, “Anyhow this area…”.

“No…because it’s Duke Bedivere’s area”, Haref’s voice trailed off at the end but I could hear it faintly and was able to deduce parts of it.

If this gets out, people will become suspicious.

This kingdom does not accept those who are able to use dark magic. Something like sensing dark magic from Bedivere’s area, excluding the youngest son having the power of darkness would raise everyone’s suspicions and make them question, ‘Does Duke Bedivere actually have no hand in this?’.

They think it’s my father…but I think it’s over there! Prince Salsaal who suddenly sailed in with a finger to his mouth, a posture which says ‘hush or else I’ll murder you’.

“Shut your mouth Bedivere…shhhhh!…”

What crime are you committing now…spit it out Salsaal

While the others were trying to figure out what’s going on around the fountain and the culprit floated around leisurely, the corners of my eyes caught a t.i.tan…Calis? I saw him tip toeing stealthily. The closer Calis became, the more concentrated the black magic at the bas became. Something’s going on!

Because I couldn’t trust Salsaal and Calis, I went to tell Nigel and Haref but it seemed to be too late because the black magic at the base increased while Calis reached his hands high and hit someone with all his might!

Bang!!

Nigel collapsed…

Crimson blood streamed down and covered the floor, Haref who’s got better instincts than me unsheathed his sword and was battle ready. I could faintly hear the Prince going ‘tsk’ before Salsaal smiled a sinister smile when Haref, who was able to get up started to wobble…

Before Haref collapsed, his rainbow coloured eyes glanced at me…

I a.s.sumed he was looking at me spitefully and was ready to kill me off when he wakes up. Naturally, everything’s like an arranged plan, it happened in Bedivere’s area, he’s suspicious of my father, Nigel’s hurt and he, himself, suddenly collapsed while I’m unscathed.

…What kind of excuse can I come up with now since all this just seems pre-planned.

“This guy will faint soon, I’ve casted a lot of deceptive magic, there’s no way this’ll fail, huh…”

I closed my eyes in shock when suddenly, Haref dashed towards me, I thought he was going to stab see two to three times as a souvenir before he faints.

“…Run away…Gil…”

His body fell down in front of my feet. The feeling of the heavy sword which was forced into my hands made me open my eyes…

“Huh, I told you he’d faint soon!”

Salsaal’s evil laughter resounded but I couldn’t really hear it, the sword’s weight made me think of the scene.

“…Run away…”

Dear psychotic fujoshi lil’ sis, the man in your dreams, he…

“Bedivere come help me carry…what are you blushing for, huh?!!”

…he’s so dangerous.

Author’s note:

Someone who’s average, has lived an average life all his life and is a law abiding citizen, when someone like that enters a new society where weapons are the norm and is what determines your ability, would that person be able to accept it and pick up a sword so easily?

[Teatime behind curtains -my fortune is that I’m able to recall my past life-]

Gilbert: “Sometimes I wonder, do you not get confused of your own gender, Calis?”

Calis: “Umm…no?”

Gilbert: “Have you ever thought of wanting to wear a skirt?”

Calis: “Obviously. Hahaha. When I was just able to recall my memories from my past life, I told me mother’s dress.”

Calis: “I was probably really pretty cause even my father was shocked.”

Gilbert: “…”

Calis: “After that, I was ordered by father to go run, do sit-ups, press-ups and stuff like that. But thinking about it now, it was probably something like a fitness course to make your figure fitter and firmer. For love, this adorable girl will endure it!!”

This was probably the shortest time I’ve ever used for translation. On other news, Haref and Gil’s ship is sailing. Still thinking of their ship name. Would it be HaGil or RefGil.