Chapter 27 - Crazy Earth’s Man

Translator: Callis

Editor: Walker

When Tang Wan saw Da Zhuang, he had a flash of inspiration. He was going to make a handicrafted cute felt meng pet!

He couldn’t do anything else, he could only make a cat. So, he was making the cat he was most familiar with: Da Zhuang! He would make a troop of Da Zhuang’s! An entire house full of Da Zhuang’s!

Thinking of a house full of the top-tier beauty Da Zhuang, Tang Wan was so overjoyed that he could float.

Zong He suddenly shivered. He felt that something bad was going to happen soon.

Tang Wan picked him up in an 100-meter dash and rushed into the warehouse to look for unused materials. He asked while running, “Child, did you get heavier? What do the teachers give you to eat? Can you talk to me?”

Zong He’s life was liked cooled ash. “Meat.”

“Aiya~ Our Da Zhuang knows how to say ‘meat’. Now that you can say a word or two, you can say a complete sentence in the future. How frightening!”

Being praised this way, Zong He only wanted to cover up his face with his paws. He was very clear on one thing: they were two people; if Tang Wan wasn’t the idiot, then he was.

Tang Wan found the materials in the corner of the warehouse. They were all packed in bags and he picked them up with one hand, and carried the nearly 8kg Da Zhuang in the other. He felt that his own strength was bursting and walked like the wind.

It was Da Zhuang’s shed fur that he had collected, and later, Zong He’s fur. Zong He had a lot of fur and it was very long. Tang Wan brushed his fur everyday. There were times that he couldn’t brush through, and still needed to tug a few times. Collected together, there were a lot.

Zong He put his paws up on Tang Wan’s shoulder. He had given up on struggling and put his head on his shoulders. He closed his eyes and slept!

In the evening, Tang Wan placed a stool behind his chair and a thick mat in front of him. He opened the live broadcasting studio. “Welcome to the Earth Meng Pet Live Broadcasting Studio. Today, I’ll be taking everyone through making handicrafts, especially magical. An empty palm can turn into Da Zhuang, and then turn into a lot of Da Zhuang’s!”

Zong He had been sleeping behind Tang Wan; his ears twitched and perked up, and he cracked opened his eyes. He looked at Tang Wan’s thin back and resisted shifting back, then pressing him onto the bed and rubbing against him. What did he mean by ‘a lot of him’?

The audience was also curious: What does ‘a lot of Da Zhuang’s’ mean?

Da Zhuang was so handsome that he could turn over the entire broadcasting studio, what would a lot of him be like?

I just want one Da Zhuang, that would be enough. You have the original handsome Da Zhuang. Open the touch function!

I haven’t just wanted to pet Da Zhuang for only one or two days. Why won’t you let me pet him?!

Yes! We want Da Zhuang. If you don’t let us pet him, you’ll lose fans!

Blacklist!

We can’t play happily, disband!

k2026;k2026;

When Tang Wan saw this, he raised his eyebrows and provoked fiercely: “Then I won’t open it, you guys bite me ah~ Da Zhuang is mine, only I can touch!”

Barrage: This is the first time we’ve seen a host who love to tease their fans this much, just what do we G.o.dd.a.m.n like about him?

I’m probably a trembling M, even if I can’t see his face or expression. Hearing him so arrogant, I feel comfortable hearing arrogance.

I said it earlier, you don’t have to struggle. Da Zhuang is in his heart, darling~

Right, his Weibo name is ‘eating, sleeping, and petting Da Zhuang’. Clearly, it would be impossible for him to continue living without Da Zhuang!

Tang Wan turned around and placed his hand on the sleeping cat, “Yes, everyday I am ‘eating, sleeping, and petting Da Zhuang’.”

The barrage screamed: Da Zhuang’s fur ah, petting it would be exceedingly smooth! ! !

Tang Wan smiled and happily told them, “Yes, it feels very good, soft and smooth. Look here, he’s chubby.” Tang Wan wanted to pull up Da Zhuang’s hind legs and show everyone his stomach, where the fur was even softer.

Zong He opened his eyes and glared at him coldly. He wanted to thrash him: Showing your husband’s stomach to others, are you stupid?!

Faced with the other’s gaze, Tang Wan felt guilty. In his heart, he felt like Da Zhuang, this child, had more and more of a big cat’s temperament. His gaze was unwilling to let Tang Wan go. Well then. He was an adult who would respect young cubs. He needed to give him face. If he didn’t want them to see it, then they wouldn’t see it.

“Fine, fine, I won’t tease anymore. We can continue on and start. To those friends who are interested and have beastmen in their families, you can brush out their fur. Don’t throw it away. I can make a tutorial video and teach everyone how to use it as felt. It’s like this.” Tang Wan took out alternating black and gold fur. “This is the fur I collected from Da Zhuang. You can use this to make an identical model of a beastman, and give it to the beastman when the time is right, guaranteed to startle them.”

The audience’s interest had been raised. As it turned out, the shed fur can be used in this way. There were people whose gazes were already trained on their partners. It was time to start!

Tang Wan hadn’t thought that his manipulations would bring the entire population to fur fever!

“There are several parts that make up Da Zhuang: a round head, an oval body, long legs, a tail, and indescribable places.”

Unable to bear what Tang Wan was saying, Zong He gave him a swipe. What did ‘indescribable places’ mean?!

Tang Wan turned around to coax him, “Child, ah, other places can be left unmade, but the eggs must be there. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be complete.”

Zong He only wanted to smack him to death.

A barrage: emmmm……

……tsk tsk.

……um…….

No one knew what to say. What Tang Wan said had made a lot of sense. However, they always felt that when they wanted to ridicule him, they couldn’t do it. It was stifling and uncomfortable.

Concerned, Tang Wan told them, “If you’re constipated, you need to go see a doctor. Otherwise, it would be very easy for something to go wrong.”

The audience: This type of host, why is he so popular? Irrational!

After entertaining the audience, Tang Wan enthusiastically introduced to everyone, “These parts are done separately, and then poked together. Okay then, start from the head. You smooth the fur like this, then you roll it up. Typically, however big you want to make one, you can roll it that size. Pay attention to the inside, so that it isn’t too loose. From experience, if it’s too loose, it will be hollow and flat when its done. It would become flat with a pinch. You wouldn’t want to create a head from a traffic accident.”

The audience watched with great concentration, but there were still people ridiculing: I actually saw a homemade product and became fascinated.

After I learn this, I can tell my mother: I’m a skillful little expert!

Don’t talk, watch carefully, and afterwards, grab your partner’s fur!

Tang Wan also took out a foam board and placed two needles on the table. “I’m certain that after I finish, there would be companies that would come to me for authorization. Later, they’ll come out readily-made material packages that you can buy. Companies that want to take over the project, you can @ my official account ~”

At this time, the system prompted: Supreme VIP Good Baby Production Company No.1: My little brother, I came~ Gimme gimme gimme! Happy cooperation mua mua~~

Tang Wan raised his eyebrows. “Well, the projected has been contracted with the big brothers of Good Baby Production Company No.1. In the future, you can look for them to buy materials bags from them.”

Tang Wan placed the rolled hair on the foam board and poked it with a needle, pulling the hair into a ball. “Don’t keep poking the same place, otherwise that place will become flat. This is work that requires patience. Continuously poke closely, and finish it up with thin st.i.tches. After that, use scissors to trim a bit of the extra fur. Then, the shape of Da Zhuang’s head should have been mostly formed.”

Zong He cracked open his eyes and glanced at it. He almost blinded himself.

“These are the ears, poke a pair!”

“Continue onto the body, we’ll continue to poke.”

Barrage: Making these kinds of things, it’s just poking and poking. I think I can do it too!

Robotic servants can also do it, just poke poke poke.

I think I can poke out my family’s child in a day!

It’s so simple, just needs to be poked.

……

In his heart, Tang Wan felt that they could wait. With no experience, not only would they break the needle, they would also poke their hands. The heads they’d make wouldn’t be round and the size of the body wouldn’t match. The most terrible thing was: Ugly! Very ugly! So ugly that it would burn your eyes!

Hopefully, after they made it, it wouldn’t give rise to a family war.

After Tang Wan poked all the parts, he started connecting them. “Connecting them is very simple. You just have to link them together and, like before, poke poke poke.”

The kitten’s form was gradually taking shape. With Tang Wan’s poke poke poke, it resembled Da Zhuang more and more. Tang Wan pressed in gold-dyed eyes, and it looked even more like the kitten.

Tang Wan placed the kitten on top of Da Zhuang’s head and asked everyone: “Isn’t it like father and son?”

This time, the audience was conquered by Tang Wan’s skillful hands, and they all praised: What can’t you do? It’s too similar! It’s a perfect imitation, simply a miniature version!

I want to learn this too! I want to make a family portrait!

Seek out the materials bag! When will it be on the market?

Tang Wan doesn’t need to show his face in the future, he can rely on those hands to eat!

Are you a master sculptor? How can you know how to do everything?!

Tang Wan smiled and said: “I can’t do sculpture, I can only make handicrafts and trinkets. Say, do you guys think that it’s still missing something?”

The audience agreed together: Eggs! ! !

Tang Wan looked apologetically at the cat sleeping behind him: “Right, it’s still missing the eggs.”

Zong He opened his eyes and stood up. He just wanted to raise his claws and smack them into paste, this disaster!

“Big baby, don’t be angry, there’s nothing to be angry about.” Tang Wan gently pet and smoothed his fur, from the top of his head to the tip of his tail. “It can’t be that you don’t want eggs? Normal males need eggs.”

Zong He was so angry that his teeth and claws were pasted against Tang Wan’s head. The fur on his tail stood up one by one, his fur puffed with rage!

Tang Wan wasn’t afraid of him. He was patient and coaxed, “It can’t be that you don’t want eggs? Then okay, I won’t make them.”

If these words fell into a normal beastmen’s ears, it would be unbearable. Your partner saying that you had no eggs, and you wouldn’t be angry? But letting him do it would still make him angry!

“So, this part of the body is indispensable.” Tang Wan had a solemn face, but his eyes were hiding a laugh. Teasing Da Zhuang everyday, this kind of living was beautiful.

Regardless of Da Zhuang’s expression, Tang Wan was already pulling together a ball of fur. Zong He’s entire body stiffened. Watching Tang Wan’s white and slender fingers deftly rubbing and pinching. His heart was suspended, but n.o.body knew what he was thinking. His ears turned red.

Then Tang Wan pressed the little ball onto the foam board and picked up the needle.

Zong He: ! ! !

Sorry for the late update, school started again （￣□￣；）