"You understand that I drink from you as my right according to contract. You offer yourself to me." His voice was soft. Too soft.

I said nothing.

"Say it. Tell me that you have chosen this. I want to hear it from your lips, from your curving, sensuous, ever so life-quickening lips."

Again, silence. I stared at the stereo, willing myself to dissolve into the music. Become the chords, become the melody . . . float away on the breeze with the notes as they pa.s.sed. Ephemeral.

"Cicely. I command you." And his voice was so strong I couldn"t disobey.

I turned to stare at him. "I give my blood to you, I"ve chosen to do this. I signed the contract. Now do what you will."

His dark eyes flared and he let out a small grunt as he began to circle me. I stood at attention, unresponsive, not turning to follow. I managed to keep it together till he stopped in back of me and leaned in close. Then the panic started.

"I can make this ecstasy, or incredibly painful. Which do you think I should choose?" he whispered.

"That is up to you, sir." Struggling to keep my voice even, I began to breathe in shallow bursts. I"d rather have it hurt, to remind me of what he was.

"You must have some idea of what runs through my mind." He pressed his lips against my ear, as his hand began sliding down my right arm, his fingers icy cold against my skin. "What do you think I want to do to you? Tell me."

d.a.m.n him. It was another order. Command filled his voice and I couldn"t disobey. Even though he"d promised not to enthrall me, that didn"t mean he couldn"t play head games and mind tricks.

I opened my mouth, unwilling to speak but unable to stop. "You want to f.u.c.k me. You want to drink me."

"Elaborate," he whispered, lifting my hair to the side and pressing his fangs against my neck. He didn"t break the skin, but I could feel them there, poised, just waiting. "How would I f.u.c.k you, Cicely? What would I do to you? Tell me, in detail."

I wanted to cry but my eyes were dry. I wanted to run but my feet were frozen to the ground. My lips opened and I heard myself speaking even though I tried to bite back the words. "You"d slide your hands under my shirt and rip it off. Then, you"d unhook my bra and cup my b.r.e.a.s.t.s." As he licked my neck, a whimper escaped from my throat.

"You"d like that, wouldn"t you? You"d like for me to undress you? What would I find if I slid my fingers down deep in your p.u.s.s.y? Are you wet, Cicely? Don"t lie to me, because I can check, and if you lie, the punishment will be far more severe."

Shivering as his hand slid around, flat against my belly and up under my shirt, my heart wanted to run, to push him away. But my body wanted to drag him down and let him do what he would. Lannan had a drug-one he didn"t need to inject or shove down my throat. Pure pheromone, pure aphrodisiac. No wonder bloodwh.o.r.es flocked to the vamps.

"Yes," I whispered. "I"m wet."

"Where are you wet? Tell me." Again the soft coaxing as he pressed against my back. I could feel him, rigid and hard and furious.

Stumbling over the words, I blurted out, "My p.u.s.s.y. I"m so wet I can"t stand it."

Lannan laughed then, raw and coa.r.s.e. "Good-very good. You want me?" When I didn"t answer, his voice thundered through the room. "Answer me, woman. Do you want me to f.u.c.k you?"

A cry ripped out of my throat. "Yes . . . No . . . I hate you."

With another laugh, the soft, sensual Lannan was back. He slowly peeled my shirt over my head and tossed it on the floor. Then he unhooked my bra and that, too, went on the floor. My b.r.e.a.s.t.s bounced lightly as they fell free of the satin and he let out a low groan and reached out, touching just the nipples. I bit my lip, trying not to show my feelings as the points hardened beneath his touch. I wanted relief so desperately, I thought I was going to cry, but I didn"t want him to triumph-didn"t want Lannan to win.

"Good girl." His voice was low, but still carrying the command. "Now we can get down to business. I want you to beg me to drink from you. Beg me, Cicely. On your knees, with your lips on my feet. Beg me. Now Now."

I fell to my knees, unable to disobey. My forehead brushed his pants legs as I pressed my lips against his polished leather boots. "Please . . . please, drink from me, Lannan."

He lightly tipped my chin up with the toe of one boot.

"I can"t hear you-a little louder, please. And more heart-felt."

My face flushed, burning. If he wanted to humiliate me, he was doing a d.a.m.ned good job. I wanted to stake him right there.

"Lannan, please drink from me. Please! Please!" I forced all the sarcasm into my voice that I could, but I still sounded desperate and he let out a sharp laugh.

"Better. Only you forgot My lord and master My lord and master. But I"ll let that slip this time." He stepped back, yanking me up and into his arms. "Oh girl, if I weren"t using incredible restraint, I"d be in you, reaming you so hard you"d never, ever forget me."

I let out another whimper. No No, please, don"t let him go through with it. please, don"t let him go through with it. I knew he was going to browbeat me, but please, oh please, don"t let him lose control. My body was responding to him as my heart sank and a tear finally squeezed out and slowly wound down my cheek. I knew he was going to browbeat me, but please, oh please, don"t let him lose control. My body was responding to him as my heart sank and a tear finally squeezed out and slowly wound down my cheek.

Lannan grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me to stare into his unblinking, ebony eyes. They glistened like dark jewels. The look on his face was cold again, the soft sensuality gone in the blink of an eye.

Numb, trying to ignore the rumbling desire that echoed through my body, I shivered as he whirled me around, pressing me face-first against the back of the divan. His hand reached around to squeeze my nipple so hard I let out a shriek. Squeezing my eyes closed, I held my breath and waited.

The music shifted. Nine Inch Nails blared through the room, the driving beat catching me up. Lannan"s laughter grew louder, his icy hands groping me as he leaned close to my neck. No warm breath to tell me he was there, but just a chilling presence.

And then he plunged toward me, his lips licking my neck, as he grunted and pierced the skin. The pain was exquisite, sending me soaring so that I lost track of my anger, lost track of my fury and rode the wave so high that I came right there, screaming as his tongue rasped against me, coaxing the blood to the surface, one crimson drop at a time.

As my blood entered his mouth, communion communion, a connection forged between us. It coiled like a serpent and I fought it off, fought the hunger to give in and beg him to take me under, to turn me, to make me one of his own.

"No-you"re not supposed to enthrall me," I whispered.

Stop, please, stop. Don"t stop. Don"t leave me hanging. Don"t leave me unfinished, untouched. Tear me to pieces and rebuild me, make me new, make me strong, make me scream, make me love you.

Closing my eyes, I desperately searched for something to block my rising desire. I thought of Grieve, of Heather, of my cousin . . . of everything except for the soft sound of Lannan"s insistent lapping, but I couldn"t hold on to the thoughts and I slid ever deeper into the crimson shadowed l.u.s.t that filtered through my senses.

"I"m not enthralling you. This is only your first donation. It will feel better each time." And then he pressed against my neck again, drinking deep, and a euphoria washed over me that superseded every dark and overripe dream of ecstasy I"d ever experienced.

Except for one.

The memory of soaring as an owl over the darkened house rose up and I caught hold. I held on to it-pouring myself into the feel of the wind under my wings, of the sights and scents and sounds. The memory became a beacon, a lifeline and tether to which I held tight as Lannan"s pa.s.sion buffeted me. That moment-gliding into the night-was the most sublime experience I"d ever undergone. Pure, feral, primal, clean . . .

Even as Lannan"s tongue against my neck drove me toward o.r.g.a.s.m, even as I lost my control and threw myself into the dance, my mind held tight to the single image of myself-as-owl. A burning ember began to grow in the pit of my stomach, and I knew that someday, in the future when we were free from the Indigo Court, I"d return to Lannan and stake him through the heart to repay him for the depths he"d brought me to.

Then, l.u.s.t hit me full force and I came again, shrieking in pain as much as pleasure as he pulled away, my blood dripping down his chin, a crazed, triumphant smile spreading wide across his face. But the part of myself I needed to save, the part of myself that could never be beaten or stripped of dignity, soared, riding the winds, winging high and wide and free.

Chapter 21.

I said nothing as he handed me a bandage for my neck, which was still oozing. My knees weak, I stumbled. Lannan caught me up and-with a gentleness that belied his nature-he carried me over to the sofa and sat me down, exiting into the other room for a moment and returning with a gla.s.s of milk and a couple of chocolate chip cookies.

Staring at the food, awash in the contradictions that had rampaged through my evening, I could only look up at him, puzzled. "What . . . why . . . ?"

"You need food. I drank deep from you, but some sugar and a night of rest will restore you. Eat and drink, now, and put on your shirt. The wound is covered and shouldn"t leak onto your clothing."

He returned to his desk as if nothing had happened.

I shook my head. "How can you be so nonchalant? How can you act as though you didn"t just ravage me? You made me come, you made me scream your name, d.a.m.n it. And you act like it was nothing."

Lannan raised his head, his golden hair falling forward as a perplexed look crossed his face. "Do you want it to mean something?" he asked softly.

"No-yes . . . I . . ." I stared at the cookies in my hand. "You drink from me-you steal my blood and act like nothing happened, like it"s just a stop at the water cooler. Do you know how violated I feel? How angry I am at you right now?"

Perhaps it wasn"t the wisest thing to yell at a vampire, but I felt hot and overtired and my mind had slid into a fog bank. Thickly, I bit into the cookies and sipped the milk, hoping to clear my head.

Lannan frowned, then slowly stood and crossed back over to me. He took the gla.s.s and food from me and put them on the coffee table, then helped me slip back into my bra, fastening it from behind, and then guided my shirt back over my head. Afterward, he sat beside me and took my hands in his, gazing at me so long I began to get nervous.

"Cicely, you truly are a gem. Most of the magic-born have an arrogance to match even the Vein Lords. But you . . . there"s something different about you." He brushed my hair back from my face. "You"re my type, you know-long dark hair, brilliant eyes, curvy and solid. Listen to me, Cicely. My kind-vampires-we"re at the top of the food chain. We are no longer human. You-be you magic-born or human-are our prey. I drink from you because I can, because I want to. Your feelings really play no part in the matter either way."

Once again furious, I pulled my hands away. "If I"m just a juice box on legs, then let me go home since I"ve served my purpose tonight. Don"t bother trying to explain yourself, because you can"t. You can"t ever hope to make me sympathize with you."

"Girl," he said, pulling me close so that I could smell my blood still on his lips, "listen to me. If the Indigo Court rises up, then you"ll sympathize with us so fast and so hard that you"ll beg me to turn you. They would eat you alive, like piranha going after a deer that stumbled in the water. They wouldn"t care about your cries or your feelings or your pain-they"d eat you to the bone with your heart still beating. Don"t be so quick to turn up your nose at me."

I sat very still, trying not to anger him again. He looked about two steps away from backhanding me across the room. But he let me go then, and flipped open a cell phone.

"She"s ready to go home. Wait for her out front. Don"t come in."

I stared at him as he snapped the phone shut. "Leo will be waiting for you in the limo. I advise you don"t tarry long. The night is dangerous, and there are monsters abroad far more fearsome than I."

Shaking, I stood and polished off the cookies and swigged down the milk, then gathered my purse and headed out the door without another word. As I slowly descended the stairs of Vecktor Hall, I heard a rustling in the bushes nearby and something whispered my name on the wind.

Cicely . . . Cicely, I need to talk to you.

It wasn"t Ulean-she"d chosen to stay home since vampires didn"t care for Elementals much.

Who are you? What do you want?

You must come speak to me. I"m staying by Dovetail Lake. Please, come tonight. The voice was female but I felt no hostility, no deceit, in it. The voice was female but I felt no hostility, no deceit, in it.

I don"t know-it"s been a rough night . . .

Please, stop on the way home. I must speak to you about Grieve.

Grieve? What about Grieve?

But the voice drifted away, with simply a Meet me by the boat moorings. I"ll be waiting for you. Meet me by the boat moorings. I"ll be waiting for you.

I headed for the limo, pulling out my cell phone. Rhiannon answered. "Don"t ask me how things went, please. Not now. I need you to do something for me. I want you to go stand in my room and say out loud, "Ulean, Cicely needs you to meet her at Dovetail Lake right away." Will you do that?"

"Of course, but what"s going on?"

"I don"t know, but somebody wants to meet me there and I swear, I"ve heard the voice before-it came in on the slipstream, and it seems like . . . something I heard when I was very young."

"Should I come, too?"

"No," I said, thinking it over. "You and Kaylin stay and keep a watch on the house. I won"t be long, and Leo will be with me." As I hung up and crawled in the limo, it occurred to me that life had gotten terribly complicated, terribly fast. My old life had seemed a nightmare, but I wasn"t sure this new one was any better. Except that I have Grieve and my cousin Except that I have Grieve and my cousin, my mind peeped up.

I smiled. True, True, I whispered back to myself. I whispered back to myself. I have Grieve and my cousin, and both are worth fighting for. I have Grieve and my cousin, and both are worth fighting for.

Leo didn"t have anything to do after driving me home, so after an argument about it, he acceded to my demand to stop at the lake. I slipped out of the limo, warning him to stay inside. "You have to be able to get away in case it"s a trap. If worse comes to worst, I can try to turn into an owl again and escape."

"I don"t like it," he argued, but in the end, I won and he stayed. I played the I just got bitten by a vampire so do what I want I just got bitten by a vampire so do what I want card on him. card on him.

Dovetail Lake was a small lake or a large pond, depending on how you looked at it, an ellipse of dark water hidden away down a lonely road. Surrounded by a thicket of alder and fir, of cedar and weeping willow, the lake was a local hangout for weekend warriors looking for a quiet fishing spot. It wasn"t suitable for swimming-the lake was deeper than it was wide, and gave way suddenly once you got past the edge. The last time I"d been back home, two local boys had drowned trying to snorkel in it.

I quietly edged down to the boat mooring and waited by a stand of frozen rushes and cattails that were ragged and weather-beaten. The water was restless and dark, frothing around the pilings as the wind ruffled its surface. I leaned against one of the railings-cautiously, they didn"t look all that st.u.r.dy-and thought I heard something in the bushes around the side of the lake.

As I turned, a shape appeared from behind one of the scrub alders crowding next to the sh.o.r.e. She was shining, gloriously beautiful and wreathed in silver fire. I caught my breath and slowly stepped off the dock, back onto the icy ground, and made my way over to her.

"Lainule." I stared at the Fae Queen who stood before me, cloaked in the ragged robes of summer. The look on her face sang of sadness and loss, of pain and the weariness war can bring. A stirring inside rang a bell of recognition, and I knelt before her, realizing that if I was Cambyra Fae, then I was of her people, too. I looked up at her gentle touch on my head.

"Stand, Cicely. I"m grateful to see you. I"m glad you got my summons to bring you home." Her voice danced over the words, lightly, playing a musical scale with each syllable. She was as beautiful as Myst, as terrifying as Myst, and yet Lainule didn"t strike my heart with the same sense of dread.

"Lady. You were the one who called me back?"

"I . . . yes, and my guardians. The owl summoned you home, Grieve summoned you home, and I . . . I summoned you home. We need you, Cicely."

"But what can I do?" I looked at her, helpless. "I can"t fight Myst-she"ll tear me to pieces."

"No, you cannot fight her directly, but there are ways to hurt her, to knuckle her down. She"s defiled the Courts, defiled the Seelie, the Unseelie. She"s destroyed the Court of Rushes and Rivers and she is an abomination against the very code that makes up the essence of our people. Your people, too, as you now know. It"s time to bring her into the open, to wage war, to stop her."

Lainule stroked my chin, smiling, and her smile was feral and fearsome but it called me close to her. I stepped into her embrace and she murmured soft words in my ear, stroking my hair, kissing me gently on the forehead.

"I didn"t want to let you leave when you were so young, but it was necessary. You needed to become your own person, away from New Forest, away from our people, before you could return to join us. You needed to embrace both sides of your heritage, and learn how to stand strong on your own feet. Your mother was sacrificed, so we might have you."

I looked up at her then-she was tall, oh so very tall and radiant-and her smile blinded me. "My mother . . ."

"Your mother was chosen to be your mother by me and by your father."

"What about Rhiannon? Is she like me?"

"That is for her to find out, but her path lies along a slightly different road. The fire is thick within her."

"Can I meet my father-" I"d always wondered who he was, always wondered why he"d left my mother after getting her pregnant with me.

"In time." She gently pushed me back, looking me over. "Pretty, girl. You have grown up lovely."

"What can I do? How can I help fight Myst? How can I free Peyton before they kill her?" I searched her face, praying she would care enough to help me.

"Peyton? What will happen, will happen. Peyton"s fate is not in my hands, but in yours. For now, go home and wait. Grieve will come to you and you are not to speak of this meeting. But you two belong together. He"s not the enemy-not in the long scheme of things." Lainule turned to go, then stopped and looked over her shoulder.

"Welcome home, Cicely-both to New Forest, and to your newfound family. You may work for the vampires, but you are mine at the heart of all things, at least this time around. And you will obey me over any other, or I will most a.s.suredly sacrifice you in this game of chess that Myst and I are playing."