RAW:  TL: MayonaizeShrimp
ED: KuroAgeha

MayoShrimp : Heya, No Fatigue 84 will be posted tomorrow. Btw, the author begins the story with a gore content warning. If you can"t stomach gore content, better skip to the part 2

KuroAgeha : the subject of 「that person」あの方 is non-gender specific, so just leave it like that. Cheers ~

It was probably safe to say that the murder of the first subject, Morrigan Westernia, ended in failure.

I thought I had prepared for everything, but clearly, I severely underestimated how much strength a person could muster when their lives were threatened.

When 「that person」 saw me on the crime scene, I thought my life was over.

But when he looked at me, in the middle of a puddle of blood with ragged breath, 「that person」 didn"t run away nor screamed. He just smiled.
It felt… calming…

That person sheltered me. I told that person about my circ.u.mstances.
When I saw that person who listened to my words while nodding slowly, a flame lit in my chest.
I was obsessed, I told that person about everything leading to that event. –
I stuttered and probably repeated some point over and over, but that person listened earnestly.
Finally, that person finally spoke.

ーI know how it feels to be in that situation.
Unless you find the answer to this problem, it will haunt you for the rest of your life. There will be no safe haven for you.
To ill.u.s.trate, even after everyone who cursed you died, they would still curse you in their death.

For that reason, you must continue your experiment.

With that, he gave me a dagger and a tattered cloak.

There wasn"t even a nick on the blade. The dagger was so sharp, it probably could cut through human skin just by sliding it. The cloth of the cloak is isolated with mana and presence, so other people couldn"t detect the wearer.

These two were very valuable items. Even I could understand that right away.

『Why do you go this far for me』 I asked, which he replied with a gentle smile.

ーIf it"s to help relief your soul, this amount is nothing.
I understand your feeling.
I never relate to any other person this much.

That person told me that we were very similar.

Similar? But how? The person in front of me was so dazzling like a shining angel.
How could a filth like me put on the same pedestal as that person?

I will definitely return this favor,
I said.

ーTo witness your soul being saved is the greatest reward I could imagine.

He replied.

Experiment.
Validation.
Subject.
That person taught me all of those unknown words.
That person taught me about the structure of the human body.
How to rip human skin, remove fat, and sc.r.a.pe off internal organs.
The location of what I seek in a human body.
That person provided all of these knowledge in a very kind and detailed way, so the stupid me could process it.

What should I do to become someone like that you? I asked.
ーWhat kind of question is that, you silly thing. He laughed.

ーPlease do ask if you have any question.
We"re not in a hurry, so let"s teach you things one by one.
After that, I want you to tell me the answer to that question you just asked.

I hadn"t seen that person since.
Sometimes I wondered if everything was just a dream.

However, I still held the dagger and the rag in my hand.
That person must had foreseen this, that was why that person granted me these tools so I could affirm his existence in my reality.

Back then, the adults always scold me for saying that I could hear voices that couldn"t be heard.
That was why, even today, I was not confident about everything I seen, heard, or experienced.
If I had the sense of reality, is this reality really the real reality?
If what I thought was real was just a mere imagination for other people, there would be no boundary between reality and imagination.

As for me, the only thing I certain was real were that person"s smile, that person"s words, also that person"s dagger and cloth.

So I will continue the experiment.

My reality must be waiting out there.

The second subject, Catherine Fodlett, seemed to be done better than the first.

I lure her with a harmless smile and invite her to a dark place, then I cut her throat with the dagger that I received from that person.
I was planning to finish her in one painless cut, but I didn"t expect her to resist that much so I couldn"t finish her in one cut. So I cut her once more. Then I cut her once again.

Why did she fight back even though I was being so kind as to kill her painlessly?
Why couldn"t she just accept my kindness?
Just like how my mother scolded me, I scolded the subject.

But she tried to resist even more.
The subject, she repeatedly threw curse words at me, the same awful words that my mother used to abuse me.

I was starting to lose my patience, so I cut off her nose.
She screamed. I pinned the writhing subject down.

「……I will rip your windpipe out if you don"t shut your mouth」

She trembled. She nodded while still holding her cut off nose.
Good. I cracked a small smile. She noticed that and started to feel relieved.
I lifted her chin with my free hand, then I cut her windpipe with the dagger.

「w…… wHhy……?」

She could barely voice her confusion with her cut-off throat.

But her words didn"t matter anymore.
By the time I needed to spend a lot of time and use brute force, I had lost all my kindness towards her.
The noisy brat must be silenced.
Mom would scold me if I didn"t shut up.
I cut her throat several more times so that she would never talk again.

After that, I took off her cloth and revealed her sweaty body.
The damp smell of sweat entered my nose and choke me a little.
So dirty… It stinks…
Catherine Fodlett, the boutique owner, love to wear her beautiful self-tailored clothes. She looked even younger than she actually was.
But no matter how hard she tried, her human body still stank like any other human.
Was I also born from this kind of filthy body too?

I ran my dagger through her pale white stomach.
Red blood poured out and the yellow fat-layer appeared before my very eyes.
That person"s sacred dagger displayed its superior sharpness, it cut through her body without fat sticking onto the blade.
I cut through her digestive tract, full of food and excrement, and pour it out, emptying her belly.

Not only disgusting, but it was also a smelly and dirty work.
But even so, even the most unpleasant work must be finished with enthusiasm. (TL: 嫌なことほど率先して取り組まなければならない。We must have the initiative and tackle unpleasant things)
I wholeheartedly wield the dagger.

Finally, the dagger reached the part that I was aiming for.

Uterus.
The womb.
The source of all filth.
The organ that crystallized the l.u.s.t of both men and women.
Even though the disgrace that I am would never have been born if this just didn"t exist.

「Dirty… So dirty……」

I murmured. I scooped out the womb with the dagger and stabbed the soft and flabby ma.s.s.
The dagger pierced through the lump without much resistance.
As I tilted the handle slightly, the blade completely severed the clump into two.

「Dirty…?」

I didn"t find the answer that I seek.
It was dirty, but I couldn"t say that it was any dirtier than the other part of her meaty body. In order to find my answer, I need to compare more wombs. One might faint if they heard about the amount of time, danger, and gruesome work that must be exerted for this task, but still, I had to do it.

If I didn"t find the answer, I would live the rest of my life in fear that I might be dirty as well.

「Even so……」

The riddle just getting deeper and deeper.

Was I dirty?
Or was I not?

「Verification… failure…」

I used my b.l.o.o.d.y finger and wrote a big X on the nearby wall.

The X was my newly created letter.
Yes and No. I didn"t know how to call something that was both dirty and not-dirty at the same time, so I made a new letter.
For someone as stupid and slow-witted as me, this was quite a great achievement, though I never showed this letter to anyone else.
If I showed it to that person, I was sure I would be praised with that charming smile.

So why did I write it big?
Of course so I could burn it into my memory. When your eyes see something big, you would immediately recognize that it is important.
Mother always slapped my hands whenever I cram small letters next to each other in my notes. She always did it again and again. The letters that mother kept scolding me for again and again was instead praised by my father for being easy to read.

I continued filling the wall with b.l.o.o.d.y X, X, and more Xs.

My fingertip felt painful and the pain was almost unbearable, but I like to think of it as a punishment for my failure during the verification process.

The verification was only just begun.

I hide my body under the cloak and slipped out from the dark alley into the crowded street.
There were several dubious looking people, but if you"re fast and can slip through quickly, the large number of people made a perfect smokescreen.

And so, I disappeared.
Among the people who lived their whole life without doubting their own reality, I disappeared.

KuroAgeha : is this kind like JTR story, or its just my imagination ?

MayonaizeShrimp: Needless to say, KuroAgeha won"t be editing for me for quite some time after this chapter. Pathetic… *condescending laugh*
The kanji for The Ripper is 切り裂き魔 which is the same as the slashing demon case that David Chrebl solved in ch81. However, this time it was written with a furigana リッパー. I choose to translate it as Ripper instead of Reaper because of its correlation with Jack the Ripper.