No Hero

Chapter 72

SPOILER WARNING FOR ECLIPSE HUNTER. While most of No Hero is light on spoilers for Eclipse Hunter, Volume 7 and on of No Hero will veer heavily into spoiler zone for the final volumes of Eclipse Hunter.

No Hero Volume 7: The End, the Beginning, Part One

Original novel in Chinese by: 御我(Yu Wo)

The Second Step Toward the End: Father, Golden-Haired—translated by Raylight (proofread by Trespa.s.serby & Minthe; C/E edited by Taffygirl13 & lucathia)

"What the heck are these!" Ezart roared, "I"ve seen plenty of zombies before, but what in the world are these?"

There was no way I could stop firing the machine gun in my hands. I was also extremely shocked by these enemies that had appeared from nowhere. They had such high agility and strength that if it weren"t for the strong firepower of our adventuring group, we would probably have been wiped out!

Most remarkable was the fact that they were not ugly in the least bit. They looked completely humanoid, with white skin, slender eyes, and perfect figures. Their movements were as elegant as those of dancers. Such beauty… Just like the night race recorded in "that book!"

"What exactly are you laughing about?" Ezart shot me a glare, but not once did he stop firing the machine gun. His combat abilities were extremely incredible—the large sum of money I"d spent to employ him was definitely not wasted.

This was unmistakably the right place, the place recorded in the book. The design on the cover was indeed a map, just simply too large in scale. If I had not specifically gone to measure and compare it, there was no way I could have located this place.

Thankfully, there are computers in this world. After writing a program, there is nothing in this world that cannot be measured.

Fortunately, I also have a good friend, a doctor with a keen sense of intuition, who managed to tell that this design was actually a map from the first glance.

There were many diagrams of genes in the book. If I"m guessing correctly, this place isn"t some ancient tomb, but a giant laboratory.

A biology laboratory!

Due to the fact that there were a lot of clothes to pick up and we were going to be running all over the place today, I decided to simply book Nitewalker"s service for the entire day.

While we walked into the church, I advised the young master, "Young Master, it seems you require a private chauffeur."

The young master tilted his head and replied, "But I can drive!"

"Young Master, you are already a fairly famous model, and your singing career is going smoothly. Now that you are also going to star in a movie, it is highly probable that you will have to attend some formal ceremonies in the future. Having a chauffeur to drive you around would be more convenient."

At this point, I abruptly remembered how Melody once predicted that the young master would become an international superstar. Judging from the current situation, it did seem to be developing in that direction. He had only been modeling part-time at first, then began to release alb.u.ms, and became the city representative. Now, he was also going to appear in a movie. Really, life is unpredictable.

Putting my emotions aside, I lowered my voice and continued, "In addition, both you and "Dark Sun" ride heavy-duty motorcycles and have similar hair colors, so it is likely that people might a.s.sociate them together."

"That"s true!" The young master tilted his head, and seemed uncertain as he asked, "Do you think Nitewalker will agree to be my chauffeur?"

Nitewalker"s driving was extremely dependable, and as a non-human, he would not be shocked even if the young master was planning to go and meet a non-human. Moreover, he could skillfully drive the car up the side of the building. Indeed, there was no one else more suitable than him to be the young master"s chauffeur.

"I can ask him on your behalf."

The young master nodded and excitedly replied, "If Nitewalker is willing to, that would be great. Sitting in his car is really fun—Father Yue!"

The young master waved his hand vigorously at the person at the pulpit. There were only three people listening to the sermon, two of which were even a priest and a nun. There was also an elderly lady who did not appear to be someone who would recognize a currently popular model. This made me heave a sigh of relief. Thankfully, the young master"s arrival would not cause a commotion.

Seeing the young master, Father Yue decided to simply end the sermon early. Then, he called us into the house at the back.

Unexpectedly, Yue Gang was actually at home. He was currently in the middle of breakfast—no, he never ate breakfast. It was most likely his second late-night snack after his work, and he was probably planning to retire to bed after.

Upon seeing us, Yue Gang immediately swallowed the sandwich in his mouth and shouted, "Charles, Ah Ye, why did you two drop by?"

"I"m here to ask Father Yue some questions!" The young master happily exclaimed, and then turned and said, "Charles, didn"t you say that you have some business with Father Yue? You can go first!"

"Very well." I nodded, and then confessed to Father Yue, "My sincerest apologies, I have lost the bible that you have bestowed upon me."

Father Yue froze, and immediately questioned, "What about the cross?"

"It is here." I swiftly pulled out the necklace resting on my chest.

"Shoot! You actually wear a cross?" Yue Gang burst into laughter. "Are you even a vampire?"

The young master was also laughing heartily at one side. Amid the laughter filling the room, I tried my best to maintain my calm and seriously explained, "I have already lost the bible. If I lose this one too, there is simply no way I could possibly make up for it. Wearing it makes me feel more at ease."

Hearing that, Father Yue"s expression relaxed, and he said, "Then that"s fine. The cross is still here, and it"s best if you are willing to wear it! Anyways, the cross is more important."

I could not help but feel a little puzzled by that, but the young master was one step ahead of me in asking. There was not a trace of laughter left on his face as he questioned, "What is so special about this cross? Why must Charles wear it?"

Father Yue frowned.

"Old man, you"ve got to explain this!" Yue Gang shouted, "Charles is my sworn brother. You had better not harm him!"

"Ah? Why would I want to harm Charles?" Father Yue looked a little distressed as he waved his hand, saying, "Actually I don"t know what it is either. I just managed to find out its general effects. It should be able to boost a vampire"s power, but as for what exact aspect it enhances, I couldn"t figure out no matter how much I searched."

"Seriouslyyyyyy?" Yue Gang pointed his finger at his own father"s nose, and even dragged out the word.

"Of~~course!" Father Yue replied in a singsong, like a Beijing opera performer. After that, he earnestly replied, "I kept it for decades, but never met a vampire whom I would feel rea.s.sured handing the cross to. Since I finally came across a weirdo—I mean, a good and honest vampire, who else could I give this to if not him?"

Only then was Yue Gang satisfied. He turned to me and said, "Since my old man said so, then you should wear it! I believe my old man wouldn"t harm you."

I nodded in agreement, though internally, I was still somewhat skeptical that a cross could boost a vampire"s strength. If that is true, then it would really be too ironic.

"May I inquire as to what kind of effects the bible has then? Would it be anything dangerous?"

Seeing how the bible had been taken away by a person as dangerous as Lieder, and he had even called to say that there were some very interesting things in the book, I felt extremely worried. If the bible could also boost one"s strength, that would not be good at all.

Father Yue shook his head. "Nothing much, it just has some diagrams of genes. Though the creatures with their genes recorded in those diagrams are indeed quite dangerous, to make one of those creatures is not a simple matter."

However, Lieder is both rich and intelligent. He also has the help of medical staff such as Doctor Ni Cai. Perhaps it is not impossible for them to research and make one?

I told Father Yue my concerns, but Father Yue burst out laughing. "Relax, even if it"s the Sun Emperor, he would be unlikely to get very far in this research within such a short timeframe, let alone really make one!"

Is that so? I felt a lot more relieved.

"Oh, that"s right! Charles, I just got my salary today, just in time to pay you back." Yue Gang took out a stack of thousand yuan bills from his jacket pocket and pa.s.sed it to me.

"You borrowed money again?" Father Yue immediately pinched Yue Gang"s ear and roared, "This child, you are truly one of the MC squad, to think that you borrow money so regularly that it"s like a monthly routine!"

"It"s NC squad! Ow, old man, can"t you be gentler? My ear"s about to fall off!"

After counting the money, I stated in puzzlement, "Yue Gang, you did not borrow so much from me."

"There"s also the money that I owe the noodle shop. Help me pay them back the next time you go to the market—ouch, owww!"

"Very well."

The young master laughed for a long while, before he then remembered that he had important business with Father Yue. He promptly said, "Father Yue, I have something to ask you about."

Hearing that, Father Yue finally let go of Yue Gang"s ear. Yue Gang"s ear was as red as a tomato. Evidently, his father had not showed him any mercy.

"What is it that you wish to know?" Father Yue turned to face the young master, his expression switching from furious father to amiable Father.

"I want to know about Sin Simon."

So that was what the young master wanted to ask about. Indeed, we could ask Father Yue regarding this topic. That had not occurred to me at all, despite being X"s friend of many years. Truly, which one of us is X"s friend now, the young master or me?

However, it could not be said that I did not care for my friend"s safety. In the past, while I was still in the Elysees family, I had used the power of the Elysees many times in attempts to stop the Church"s hunt for X. Nonetheless, I would always be reprimanded severely by X for it, and he would threaten to cut all ties with me if I meddled further in his business. Over time, I had developed a habit of not poking my nose into his affairs.

Once he heard the name "Sin Simon," Father Yue"s expression noticeably changed.

"I"m sorry, I can"t tell you." He unenthusiastically continued, "Though I am not fond of the Church"s methods, I am ultimately still a priest. I will be able to tell you some minor things, but I cannot reveal the Church"s secrets."

The young master evidently had not expected that Father Yue would reply as such. He momentarily started to panic, and apologized continuously, "S-Sorry, I didn"t know it was such a big secret. I just heard that Sin Simon was the person responsible for hunting down X, so I was a bit worried about it, and thought it would be good to ask you."

An odd expression appeared on Father Yue"s face as he questioned, "You two already know that he is the person hunting down E.X.?"

"Yeah!" The young master nodded and gave an honest reply, "But we just know that he"s the person in charge of hunting X. Charles also said that Sin Simon is not a person but a position, a position that has been handed down many times."

Father Yue rolled his eyes and retorted, "Then, you two already know it all!"

"Huh?" Both the young master and I froze at the same time.

"That is it!" Father Yue shrugged as he said, "The biggest secrets about Sin Simon are what you just said. The rest are just minor details."

The young master blankly asked, "Is that so? I thought that there would be more to it!"

Father Yue thought it over, and then spoke, "Sin Simons usually will not act alone, for there is absolutely no way they can defeat E.X. on their own. Thus, they always act as a group. Moreover, they are often not ordinary humans. Usually, they are the strongest within the Sin Elimination Committee."

"Not ordinary humans?" The young master asked in bewilderment, "Do you mean non-humans?"

"Usually they are not, but that is a possibility."

That was certainly an answer out of my expectations. Though the Church was not at the point of killing non-humans on sight, they definitely would not treat them well. Likewise, most of the non-humans hated the Church. Yet it is possible that there are non-humans working for the Sin Elimination Committee?

Father Yue rubbed his chin, saying, "The ones I have seen before are all a bunch of weirdoes. As for how weird, they probably have anything you could imagine. By now, there might be humans with modified limbs who are practically half robot."

"Old man! What exactly are you guys talking about?" Yue Gang, who was listening in, seemed very stunned. Judging from his expression, it appeared that he was starting to think of his own father and the young master as alien life forms.

"This is none of your business. Shoo shoo, go to sleep! Your dark eye bags make you the spitting image of a zombie. Don"t scare people when you"re on your night shift!"

Yue Gang scratched his face as he muttered, "What? There aren"t any zombies in this world!"

In a certain sense, vampires are also considered a type of zombie.

"Zombies are also a type of human, so why would there be no zombies in this world?"

Yue Gang snorted in disdain. "If I were to follow your line of reasoning, old man, then potatoes would be a type of human, too!"

Father Yue roared, "Didn"t I conceive you, potato-head?"

With a sandwich still in his mouth, Yue Gang rolled his eyes at his father. He then waved to the young master and me to bid us farewell, turned around, and left.

The moment Yue Gang left, Father Yue immediately advised the young master earnestly, "Ah Ye, you"d better stay out of E.X."s business. In any case, he definitely isn"t weak; the Church hasn"t been able to do anything to him for the past thousand years. I"m sure they wouldn"t be able to do anything to him anytime soon either."

When you say that, Father Yue, you do not seem like you are part of the Church.

Once the young master heard that, he turned to look at me.

The truth was, I was extremely elated that the young master was willing to help E.X. For a split second, I even thought: If the young master and I got the Elysees family and the Sun Emperor to work together, we might actually be able to stop the Church from pursuing E.X…

"Young Master, E.X. does not like asking others for help."

Hearing that, the young master"s expression fell, and he nodded.

"Okay then!" The young master agreed weakly. Following that though, was a strong a.s.sertion, "But I"m going to go capture the criminals regardless, so it can"t be considered as helping E.X. He can"t reprimand me like he does with you, Charles, nor can he stop me by threatening to cut ties with me!"

"Understood, Young Master," I answered with a smile.

After bidding farewell to Father Yue and Yue Gang, I walked out of the church and looked toward where the car was parked. Due to the fact that I did not know how long we would stay here, I had told Nitewalker that he could go off and rest after parking the car, and I would call him again.

However, Nitewalker had not left the area. Instead, he was leaning against the car with a bottle of mineral water in his hand. The moment he saw us walk out, he gave us a nod and opened the car door, started the car, and drove over to us.

The young master praised, "Nitewalker is really cool! His driving is also so handsome! It would be nice if he actually agrees to be my chauffeur."

Indeed, the word "cool" could be used to describe Nitewalker. He had a frosty look on his face and was usually seen wearing black shades that he rarely took off. Though he was not very muscular, he was fairly tall. If I were to give an estimate, I would say he was roughly a hundred and ninety centimeters.

No wonder he had picked being a taxi driver as his profession. If he had chosen a career that required face-to-face customer interaction, eight out of ten customers would probably run away in fear. As a taxi driver, he was always sitting down, which made it difficult to discern his height. Moreover, once a pa.s.senger gets on, even if the driver looks a little frightening, they would probably not get out of the car… right?

Though he appeared cool and expressionless, his driving skills were excellent. Also, despite the fact that I had told him he could go and rest, Nitewalker had chosen to stay by the car to await orders instead. His conscientious att.i.tude made him suitable as well.

Once I got on the car, I told Nitewalker about the young master"s request.

"A private chauffeur?" There was a rare trace of shock in Nitewalker"s voice.

"Indeed, my young master is really in need of a chauffeur." I quickly added on, "The employee benefits can be negotiated."

"… Really in need of a chauffeur?"

Nitewalker sounded a little shaken by this. It was then that I remembered that nightwalkers were non-humans who had "to be needed" to survive. As a taxi driver, he did not talk much, so it was probably rare for him to hear people say that they "needed him." Thus, the moment he heard those words, he was immediately shaken.

"Indeed, we are severely in need of one." I added on, "Especially a chauffeur like you, who is loyal and responsible, with outstanding driving skills. You are absolutely the chauffeur that my young master "needs the most!""

"… I will go back and discuss with my clansmen, before I give you two my answer."

"Very well."

The young master looked extremely excited, and even gave me a thumbs-up gesture in secret. Hopefully, Nitewalker would agree to it. Then, the young master would definitely show a smile as radiant as the sun. However, if he did not… I did not wish to see the young master"s expression of disappointment.

It had been some time since we had last been to X-Killer. That was because the amount of clothes the younger master had was enough to fill his entire closet, and many of them still had their tags attached. There was simply no way that he could possibly wear all of them. To think that now, we are bringing back more… Thankfully, the young master"s bedroom still has s.p.a.ce for another closet. On that note, I should make a call later to order another closet.

Given that it was morning and a work day, it was the store"s least busy period, but there were still about six or seven customers in the store. They did not appear to have noticed the young master at first, until the young master happily called out "Olga, Luo Lun, Jill, I"m here for the clothes."

All of them absent-mindedly glanced at him, and then showed various surprised expressions. Afterwards, no one was willing to tear their eyes away from him.

Jill rushed over as she shouted, "Ah Ye, you"re finally here! Can you give me an autograph? I"m asking for a friend."

The young master nodded, but it was then that Olga walked over with a frown. She seemed displeased as she reminded, "Jill, did you forget what I said to you before?"

Instantly, Jill froze up. She dejectedly lowered her head as she quietly said, "No being handsy with Ah Ye. No asking Ah Ye for signatures. No bullying Ah Ye…"

Bullying the young master?

"Haha, you got scolded!" Luo Lun laughed at her misfortune, and Jill gave him a death glare.

"Go take care of the customers." Olga told the two. However, I believed that her true intention was for them to go and stop the customers from charging over. After seeing Jill charge over and ask for an autograph, the customers looked like they were getting restless. If it were not for how Olga had reprimanded Jill, they probably would also have rushed over for an autograph as well.

However, it was evidently ineffective. The attention of the customers had already shifted from the clothes, and some of the girls even ignored Jill"s greeting as they started to head over directly instead.

Seeing that, Olga just told the young master, "Ah Ye, come to the back. The photo to hang in the store has already been printed. We"ll put it up after you take a look at it."

"The photo is done?" The young master"s eyes shone.

Olga looked over at the shop a.s.sistants and said, "Luo Lun, come over and help."

"Got it!" Luo Lun came forward, not forgetting to shoot Jill a provocative look, causing Jill to glare back at him with a pout. The two of them really were a quarrelsome duo.

We walked to the back of the store, where X-Killer"s warehouse was. There was a small table in the center for the workers to eat at.

The moment we stepped in, we could see the photo. There was no need for Olga to point it out, for the photo was astoundingly large, about the size of the entire wall. On it, the young master was wearing a long, red and white mottled print vest. On the bottom, he was wearing knee-length shorts, matched with a thick, metallic grey belt, and long army boots. The entire outfit gave the young master a very youthful look.

Olga turned to ask, "Do you like it?"

The young master nodded his head vigorously, and even said, "There"s a press conference today, I"ll wear that over!"

"Got it, I will bring you the clothes."

The young master appears to like this combination of clothes, and since it was coordinated by Olga, it should be fashionable. I inwardly noted the combination of clothes, so that I would be able to pull it out in the future when picking out clothes for the young master.

After changing, the young master looked identical to how he looked in the photo, which was a strange and amazing sight.

"The photo is really big!" The young master asked in puzzlement, "But is there any s.p.a.ce in the shop to display it?"

Olga explained, "We will be putting it on the wall behind the counter. There are only a few low cabinets next to the counter, so most of the poster will be visible. At most, some of the background will be obstructed, but you will definitely not be covered."

The young master nodded. As he examined the huge photograph, he laughed and exclaimed, "Seeing such a large version of myself feels really weird!"

Olga raised an eyebrow, and asked back, "Aren"t the advertis.e.m.e.nt billboards and television screens on the streets even bigger?"

"But those are really far away!" The young master shrugged, and then continued, "Not like this one that"s just right in front of me. The eyeb.a.l.l.s are the size of my fist!"

Olga nodded. Seemingly noticing my gaze on a box at the side, she explained to me, "That is the catalogue that we will mail to our members. There are also many of Ah Ye"s photos inside. There"s a copy for you too, already put together with the clothes that we are pa.s.sing over to Ah Ye."

I nodded at her. That would be extremely helpful with regards to coordinating clothes.

"Ah, that"s right!" The young master suddenly exclaimed and anxiously asked, "Olga, could you pick some clothes for Charles that are unlike a vampire"s?"

"Clothes that are unlike a vampire"s?" Olga seemed bewildered, as was I.

The young master nodded his head vigorously. "Clothes that are the least similar to a vampire"s!"

Olga didn"t ask any further. After giving it some thought, she replied, "Is that so? Then, I"ve got it. Just wait here for me, I"ll go and get the clothes."

I suddenly had a very bad feeling. Exactly what kind of clothes are unlike a vampire"s? I had no idea what this kind of description meant. The only thing I was absolutely sure of, was that it would not be in line with my usual way of dressing.

"Please do not have it show too much skin," I requested helplessly.

Olga glanced at me, nodded, and then went out for the clothes.

I was a little puzzled as I asked, "Young Master, we already brought a large amount of clothing home last time. Why do we need to buy more?"

Truly, there was already plenty of clothing in my closet. Though it could not be compared to the amount the young master had, I did not wear casual clothing often, so it was highly likely that most of the clothing tags would not need be to removed anytime in the near future.

"Because we"re going to be interacting with people from the Church after this! No matter what, it"s better to dress like you are not a vampire, right?"

The young master made a fairly interesting point. However, I did not think the clothes would make much of a difference, for the people of the Church did not rely on one"s clothing to identify vampires. Of course, one would arouse suspicion more easily if they were fully clothed in a vampire outfit, but I rarely wore that full set now. However, the most important point was—all of Sunset City knew that the young master had a vampire butler.

"As you wish, Young Master." However, it would not do me any harm to try it. Perhaps dressing in a manner that was less like a vampire could let the people of the Church pay less attention to me.

Olga walked in. "Here"s one outfit first. Check and see if this style works; if it does, then I"ll get a few more sets for you."

"Charles, hurry and go change!"

"As you wish." I took the clothes from her and walked into the only toilet that one could change in. As I changed, I inspected the clothing.

The top had a high collar with short sleeves, with the hem reaching the knees, and it was black in color. The pants were western style dress pants, similarly black in color. It truly did not look like what a vampire would wear but looked a little traditionalist. Only the arms were exposed in this outfit. Indeed, it fit the criteria from both me and the young master.

The only thing was that these clothes really did not seem like X-Killer"s style. They looked fairly normal, but I could feel that something was not right…

I walked out of the changing room, feeling rather puzzled. Once the young master saw me, his eyes widened, and he looked me up and down continuously. Evidently, he was shocked by the style of the clothes. Is it really that strange? Or perhaps it is due to the fact that I have not worn clothing of this style before?

Even Luo Lun and Jill have come over. Is it really fine to have n.o.body attending to the store?

The young master gasped in admiration, "Charles, you look like a priest!"

… As I thought, something was not right!

Both the young master and I looked to Olga. She shrugged and answered, "You all were the ones who asked for clothes that aren"t like a vampire"s. Coincidentally, Father Alex was recently voted the champion of the city representative contest, which led to a popularity boom in priest garbs. I believe that these are the clothes that are the least like a vampire"s, and they don"t expose much. It fits both of your requests very well."

The young master tilted his head to the side, and then walked up to me and pulled out the cross necklace. Taking a step back, he said while clapping, "Now it"s perfect!"

"…"

Jill, Luo Lun, and even Olga burst out into laughter.

Luo Lun said while laughing, "Aren"t you a vampire? Why are you wearing a cross necklace?"

"It was the result of several unavoidable factors and circ.u.mstances."

"What the heck!" Jill was laughing to the point of tears.

The young master seemed extremely delighted, and asked Olga, "Do you have many priest designs?"

"We do," Olga replied with a smile. "The shop just received a large stock of similar styles."

"Then, bring Charles a few more!"

Young Master, could you truly not develop ways to be happy that are more like an ordinary young adult"s?

The moment I stepped out of the shop with many bags in hand, Nitewalker came over to help, putting his mobile phone in his pocket on the way. It appeared that he had been on the phone just now. He took all of the bags from me in a single movement. Though I was planning to help carry some, seeing that he still seemed to have more than enough strength, I decided to leave it at that.

As he helped load the bags into the rear compartment of the car, he inquired, "Is it possible to let me be on probation?"

"On probation?" I was a little surprised at that.

Nitewalker nodded and answered, "I just asked my clansmen. They have no problems with it. I wish to be a probationary chauffeur for a period of time, to try it out and see if it works."

The young master immediately replied, "No problem! You can be on probation for as long as you want!"

Thus, I looked at the newly-appointed probationary chauffeur and said with a smile, "Then, we will be in your care for the next few days, Mr. Chauffeur."

"I look forward to working with you." Nitewalker replied concisely. As he opened the car door, he hesitated for a moment, then said, "Young Master, please enter the car."

The young master smiled. But just as he had put one foot into the car, he was interrupted by the sound of hurried footsteps and terrified screaming.

"Wait! Xiang Ye, Xiang Ye… My son! Don"t go!"

I froze for a moment. There were many who would call out to the young master on the streets, but never had there been anyone who would call him "son." Even Mr. An Te Qi would not call the young master as such, though he truly did treat the young master like a son.

This form of address alone left me rather stunned, but in the next second, I saw something even more shocking. The young master lifted his head, and on his face was a terrifying expression that I had never seen before… Young Master?

The young master glared at the person running over. The man seemed to be about fifty years of age. Even though his face looked closer to forty, there were many streaks of white in his golden hair, making him appear more aged.

Though he had called the young master "son," he did not resemble the young master in terms of appearance. Rather, the person he resembled was—the master!

He could virtually pa.s.s as an older version of the master. If the person whom he was calling "son" was the master, I would probably have immediately believed his words. However, the one he was calling for was instead the young master.

After running up to a distance about three steps away from us, he stood there gasping for breath, momentarily unable to speak.

Now that the distance was shorter, I felt he looked even more like the master.

After panting for a while, the other party finally had the strength to talk. In a tone as though he was returning home with mixed feelings, he stammered, "Xiang Ye, I-I"m your father. You look exactly like your mother—"

"I killed you!" The young master interrupted him, looking as if he was about to fall apart as he screamed, "Then, Gēge killed you again. We killed you twice! Why do you "revive" again and again? How many times do we have to kill you before you will die for real?"