"And you don"t mind hard work?"

"I love it, mum."

"And you"re an early riser?"

"Oh yes, mum, it upsets me stopping in bed after half-past five."

"You know we do the washing at home?"

"Yes, mum. I think it so much better to do it at home. Those laundries ruin good clothes. They"re so careless."

"Are you a Unitarian?" continued the lady.

"Not yet, mum," replied the girl, "but I should like to be one."

The lady took her reference, and said she would write.

The next applicant offered to come for three pounds--thought six pounds too much. She expressed her willingness to sleep in the back kitchen: a shakedown under the sink was all she wanted. She likewise had yearnings towards Unitarianism.

The third girl did not require any wages at all--could not understand what servants wanted with wages--thought wages only encouraged a love of foolish finery--thought a comfortable home in a Unitarian family ought to be sufficient wages for any girl.

This girl said there was one stipulation she should like to make, and that was that she should be allowed to pay for all breakages caused by her own carelessness or neglect. She objected to holidays and evenings out; she held that they distracted a girl from her work.

The fourth candidate offered a premium of five pounds for the place; and then "A. B." began to get frightened, and refused to see any more of the girls, convinced that they must be lunatics from some neighbouring asylum out for a walk.

Later in the day, meeting the next-door lady on the doorstep, she related her morning"s experiences.

"Oh, that"s nothing extraordinary," said the next-door lady; "none of us on this side of the street pay wages; and we get the pick of all the best servants in London. Why, girls will come from the other end of the kingdom to get into one of these houses. It"s the dream of their lives.

They save up for years, so as to be able to come here for nothing."

"What"s the attraction?" asked "A. B.," more amazed than ever.

"Why, don"t you see," explained the next door lady, "our back windows open upon the barrack yard. A girl living in one of these houses is always close to soldiers. By looking out of window she can always see soldiers; and sometimes a soldier will nod to her or even call up to her.

They never dream of asking for wages. They"ll work eighteen hours a day, and put up with anything just to be allowed to stop."

"A. B." profited by this information, and engaged the girl who offered the five pounds premium. She found her a perfect treasure of a servant.

She was invariably willing and respectful, slept on a sofa in the kitchen, and was always contented with an egg for her dinner.

The truth of this story I cannot vouch for. Myself, I can believe it.

Brown and MacShaughna.s.sy made no attempt to do so, which seemed unfriendly. Jephson excused himself on the plea of a headache. I admit there are points in it presenting difficulties to the average intellect.

As I explained at the commencement, it was told to me by Ethelbertha, who had it from Amenda, who got it from the char-woman, and exaggerations may have crept into it. The following, however, were incidents that came under my own personal observation. They afforded a still stronger example of the influence exercised by Tommy Atkins upon the British domestic, and I therefore thought it right to relate them.

"The heroine of them," I said, "is our Amenda. Now, you would call her a tolerably well-behaved, orderly young woman, would you not?"

"She is my ideal of unostentatious respectability," answered MacShaughna.s.sy.

"That was my opinion also," I replied. "You can, therefore, imagine my feelings on pa.s.sing her one evening in the Folkestone High Street with a Panama hat upon her head (_my_ Panama hat), and a soldier"s arm round her waist. She was one of a mob following the band of the Third Berkshire Infantry, then in camp at Sandgate. There was an ecstatic, far-away look in her eyes. She was dancing rather than walking, and with her left hand she beat time to the music.

"Ethelbertha was with me at the time. We stared after the procession until it had turned the corner, and then we stared at each other.

""Oh, it"s impossible," said Ethelbertha to me.

""But that was my hat," I said to Ethelbertha.

"The moment we reached home Ethelbertha looked for Amenda, and I looked for my hat. Neither was to be found.

"Nine o"clock struck, ten o"clock struck. At half-past ten, we went down and got our own supper, and had it in the kitchen. At a quarter-past eleven, Amenda returned. She walked into the kitchen without a word, hung my hat up behind the door, and commenced clearing away the supper things.

"Ethelbertha rose, calm but severe.

""Where have you been, Amenda?" she inquired.

""Gadding half over the county with a lot of low soldiers," answered Amenda, continuing her work.

""You had on my hat," I added.

""Yes, sir," replied Amenda, still continuing her work, "it was the first thing that came to hand. What I"m thankful for is that it wasn"t missis"s best bonnet."

"Whether Ethelbertha was mollified by the proper spirit displayed in this last remark, I cannot say, but I think it probable. At all events, it was in a voice more of sorrow than of anger that she resumed her examination.

""You were walking with a soldier"s arm around your waist when we pa.s.sed you, Amenda?" she observed interrogatively.

""I know, mum," admitted Amenda, "I found it there myself when the music stopped."

"Ethelbertha looked her inquiries. Amenda filled a saucepan with water, and then replied to them.

""I"m a disgrace to a decent household," she said; "no mistress who respected herself would keep me a moment. I ought to be put on the doorstep with my box and a month"s wages."

""But why did you do it then?" said Ethelbertha, with natural astonishment.

""Because I"m a helpless ninny, mum. I can"t help myself; if I see soldiers I"m bound to follow them. It runs in our family. My poor cousin Emma was just such another fool. She was engaged to be married to a quiet, respectable young fellow with a shop of his own, and three days before the wedding she ran off with a regiment of marines to Chatham and married the colour-sergeant. That"s what I shall end by doing. I"ve been all the way to Sandgate with that lot you saw me with, and I"ve kissed four of them--the nasty wretches. I"m a nice sort of girl to be walking out with a respectable milkman."

"She was so deeply disgusted with herself that it seemed superfluous for anybody else to be indignant with her; and Ethelbertha changed her tone and tried to comfort her.

""Oh, you"ll get over all that nonsense, Amenda," she said, laughingly; "you see yourself how silly it is. You must tell Mr. Bowles to keep you away from soldiers."

""Ah, I can"t look at it in the same light way that you do, mum,"

returned Amenda, somewhat reprovingly; "a girl that can"t see a bit of red marching down the street without wanting to rush out and follow it ain"t fit to be anybody"s wife. Why, I should be leaving the shop with n.o.body in it about twice a week, and he"d have to go the round of all the barracks in London, looking for me. I shall save up and get myself into a lunatic asylum, that"s what I shall do."

"Ethelbertha began to grow quite troubled. "But surely this is something altogether new, Amenda," she said; "you must have often met soldiers when you"ve been out in London?"

""Oh yes, one or two at a time, walking about anyhow, I can stand that all right. It"s when there"s a lot of them with a band that I lose my head."

""You don"t know what it"s like, mum," she added, noticing Ethelbertha"s puzzled expression; "you"ve never had it. I only hope you never may."

"We kept a careful watch over Amenda during the remainder of our stay at Folkestone, and an anxious time we had of it. Every day some regiment or other would march through the town, and at the first sound of its music Amenda would become restless and excited. The Pied Piper"s reed could not have stirred the Hamelin children deeper than did those Sandgate bands the heart of our domestic. Fortunately, they generally pa.s.sed early in the morning when we were indoors, but one day, returning home to lunch, we heard distant strains dying away upon the Hythe Road. We hurried in. Ethelbertha ran down into the kitchen; it was empty!--up into Amenda"s bedroom; it was vacant! We called. There was no answer.

""That miserable girl has gone off again," said Ethelbertha. "What a terrible misfortune it is for her. It"s quite a disease."