A body slid in beside me, and I looked over the rim of my gla.s.s as I sipped my drink. We made eye contact, and I saw Jake.

"Rox."

"Don"t. My name is Katie tonight." I"ve wanted to forget how we ended for years. The memories of how I told him I couldn"t marry him because we were too young and he was too overbearing sometimes, haunted me. It could turn out to be the biggest regret of my life, but only time would tell. I had loved him at one point. He was the boy who stole my heart, but I just couldn"t commit. We were both different now, older, more experienced.

"Katie," he said and ran his fingers through his hair. I knew he was searching for the right words to say.

I completely turned my body around and faced him. I lifted my eyebrows, but I wasn"t sure he could see that. The room seemed to be getting darker as the flashing lights on the dance floor dimmed. The DJ set the mood with songs about love and beats that made everyone want to move their a.s.ses. The irony of the lyrics wasn"t lost on me. I was willing to bet the majority of the people in the room weren"t looking for love.

Jake placed his hand on my leg and ran his fingers up my thighs. He knew my body. At one point, he had every curve memorized.

"I"ve been thinking about you lately," he leaned in and whispered in my ear. "A lot."

I looked up at him, and he met my eyes. The next thing I knew, we were kissing, pa.s.sionately. We"ve gone through this before, so many times that I knew exactly how it would play out. That was the problem when two people who once shared love were lonely; they somehow found each other. He grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor where we moved in close. It was familiar, like reciting a favorite poem; each line, every pause, and rhyme was known. I rubbed against him and felt his excitement. My body sang, it was alive, and it wanted this. It needed this, even though it was wrong.

Jake moved the bottom of my romper to the side and touched me. He liked the fact that I wasn"t wearing panties. "You"re so f.u.c.king naughty," he whispered. He was so hard, and I whispered to him how hard he was. He told me how wet I was, but I already knew because my body begged for him. It was too much, being there with him like that. I knew I should stop before we did something that we would both regret later, but I didn"t. Though it"d been years since I had s.e.xually been with him, the outcome would be the same. Before I could think about it anymore, his lips were pressing against mine, and I temporarily lost myself in the moment. Before it went any further, I pulled away.

"We can"t do this, Jake," I whispered. It was like no one else was in the room. Hurt filled his eyes, and I knew what we had done-opened a wound that had not fully closed. Time was supposed to heal wounds, but not this one.

His arms fell from my waist, and I took a few steps back then turned around and walked away. I didn"t look back as he said my fake name, and I didn"t stop.

"Katie," he said. "Katie, stop."

But I kept walking. I walked up the stairs to another area of the club with hopes of getting away. Regret washed over me with a need to forget him and his touch.

SINGLE: VOLUME 1 BY LYRA PARISH.

4.

Tonight was supposed to be about having fun, not digging a knife into old scars.

In the center of the dance floor, I completely let go. The music moved through me, captured and carried me to a new place. I was lost in my own world, moving my body. Hands fell on my waist and I looked into golden brown eyes. I didn"t say no as he pulled me closer. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. After a minute, I turned around and rubbed my a.s.s on him to the beat of the music. A hearty, genuine laugh escaped from his lips, and I could feel him through his pants.

"Hi, pretty girl." He grabbed my waist tighter and rubbed his confined hard-on against me as he laced his fingers with mine. Then we danced. We danced like there was no one else around us. It was animalistic, it was s.e.xual, and it was f.u.c.king hot. It was like s.e.x with our clothes on, and I was panting by the time the song ended.

"I want you," he whispered, and I nodded my head, agreeing. Perfect lips, black hair, and a rock hard body were everything I needed to take me away. He guided me over to the covered balcony on the opposite side of the room. As he leaned down to kiss me, a woman walked up beside him. She was blond, same height as me, and gave a nod of approval. They were together, and excited that he"d found me. I didn"t know how to feel about him being there with someone, but she didn"t seem to mind. If she didn"t, then I surely didn"t. He brushed his thumb over the outside of my hand and guided me to the hot tub. A couple f.u.c.ked against the edge of it, but that didn"t stop us. The woman leaned over and unzipped his pants, as he pulled off my romper. After lightly brushing my hair from my shoulder, he whispered in my ear, "You consent, right?"

"Yes," I said breathlessly.

The three of us were naked. Our bodies pressed against one another. He kissed me while she kissed up and down his body. He held out his hand and smiled as I stepped inside the hot tub. The water was warm and the jets ma.s.saged my muscles that were aching from dancing so hard. The masks still covered our faces. Strands of warm lights were hung above. The glow helped set the mood.

l.u.s.t guided us to the next level, and I wanted to devour him. He grabbed my chin and asked me if I wanted him. I sucked in a deep breath and exhaled a "yes." Next thing I knew, he was rolling a condom over his d.i.c.k then his hands were on my hips. He watched me watch him. I was frozen in place. Could I do this? Could I really do this? Orleans was all about s.e.x, but for some reason I was hesitant.

He inserted his finger into the woman beside us. She moaned, and he groaned deep as he became more animalistic with his touch. His d.i.c.k was hard, and the woman slipped on top of him and rode him hard. I watched them.

None of us cared. We were here for one thing, and one thing alone, to f.u.c.k and forget. No ties, no relationships, no worries or awkward conversations afterward.

I swung my head back and fully took it all in as his tongue swirled on my nipple.

I threaded my fingers through his hair and kissed him. His tongue dipped inside my mouth, and he grabbed my b.r.e.a.s.t.s with a hard hand as the woman bounced on his d.i.c.k.

"I"m so f.u.c.king close," the woman said.

I looked over at her. She flung her head back, and I knew she was coming. I closed my eyes and leaned on the tub, and another couple stepped inside. More pinches and sucks on my nipple, and the man dipped his hands down below. His touch was experienced, and he knew exactly how to please me. When I looked over at the new couple, I realized it was Jake. He didn"t take his eyes off of me as the woman climbed on top of him. He slammed his d.i.c.k inside of the skinny girl. She was hot and blond. I was happy for him, but he didn"t seem to have eyes for her.

I ran my fingers up the abs of the man I was losing myself with. Harder and deeper, he continued to play with my c.l.i.t. I leaned over and nibbled on his ear as we continued. I wanted him to break me, but I didn"t think he could. I felt unbreakable. Water splashed out of the hot tub onto the deck from all the movement. My breaths were deep, and I pulled his hair hard as I came. I forced him to look into my eyes, and he did. Then he bit my shoulder and sent spikes of pain through my body as he came inside of the woman who rode him. I wasn"t sure if I used him or he used me, but in the world of swingers, I don"t think that really existed. His female partner came again and screamed out obscenities.

"Oh, f.u.c.k. s.h.i.t. I"m f.u.c.king coming, dammit. Oh, h.e.l.l." She shook with pleasure. His finger felt me from the inside out. I came so hard, so violently, but it had been so long, and after Alex ruined me, I didn"t think I would see an o.r.g.a.s.m again.

"I"m Charlie. It was nice to meet you."

"Katie," I lied again. Maybe I would eventually turn into her.

"Well, Katie. I will see you around, hopefully." He kissed my neck and used the right amount of teeth to send little spikes of pain and pleasure racing through my body. He rubbed his hands over my b.r.e.a.s.t.s one last time, then stepped out of the tub and walked away with his female partner completely satisfied. h.e.l.l, I was too. If I smoked, this would be the time to light one up, but instead I stretched out in the hot tub and watched Jake mindlessly f.u.c.k the blond so he would know that I didn"t care, that I couldn"t.

Stacey should have never brought him with us, and tomorrow I planned to tell her, but at the moment, I wouldn"t take my eyes from him. The woman began to moan loudly, then he did too. Over her shoulder, Jake looked at me with a half-smile. He was f.u.c.king p.i.s.sed. I could see in his eyes that he wasn"t a little perturbed, but livid. He took his anger out on that woman"s p.u.s.s.y, but she liked it and whimpered each time he slammed himself into her. She even begged for it to be harder. When she screamed out that she was coming, he didn"t stop until she was completely done. Her body fell on top of his, and she kissed him.

"Did you come, baby?" she asked.

It was odd hearing affection from a stranger. He shook his head, and she was disappointed because she didn"t get him off. When she stood, so did he.

"It"s okay. Don"t worry about it," he said to her as he glanced over at me.

"I can make you come. Just give me five minutes. I like to return the favor." She smiled. At least she tried.

"Thanks, I"m good," he said then pulled the condom off and threw it in the trash. The girl sat in the hot tub, disappointed but satisfied at the same time. After a few minutes, she left. Jake moved toward me and sat. I turned my head to look at him, questioning his intent. The next thing I knew, Jake leaned over and kissed me. At first, I resisted, and then I couldn"t. Jake intertwined his fingers with mine, and pulled me on top of him. His d.i.c.k felt like home, and I shuddered from the emotions that streamed through me. I looked down into his green eyes. He was all seriousness while he was inside of me.

"You can practically f.u.c.k a stranger, but you can"t f.u.c.k me. No emotions, Rox. No f.u.c.king emotions have to be involved. I"ll take what I can get from you."

I leaned down and whispered over his lips. "Is s.e.x ever s.e.x without emotions?"

"You tell me. Did you feel something for that stranger?"

I grabbed his face, and he grabbed my a.s.s hard and groaned. "I like it when you play rough. Now f.u.c.k me like you don"t care. f.u.c.k me like we don"t know each other. f.u.c.k me like we don"t have a history. No emotions. No feelings. I just have to be with you one last time to know, Rox. So I can move on and get over this stupid infatuation. It"s been three years. f.u.c.k me to end it. Forever."

And I did.

SINGLE: VOLUME 1 BY LYRA PARISH.

5.

Together, we came. Hard. Like a million years had kept us away from one another. Maybe we were two lost lovers who would reunite, but somehow I knew it wouldn"t end well, more like a Shakespearean rendition of love. Afterward, I fell on top of his chest, and he rubbed his hands on my back, then kissed my forehead as warmth filled me.

"No condom?" I glared at him.

He shook his head.

"Luckily, I"m on the f.u.c.king pill. Geez, Jake."

He opened his mouth to speak, but Stacey interrupted him with her high-pitched angry voice.

"What the mother f.u.c.k?" Stacey said when she saw us.

I sucked in a deep breath and shook my head toward her. I wasn"t sure if her anger was directed toward Jake, or me, but either way, she wasn"t having it. No words formed as I stared into Jake"s eyes. He and I both knew this would not work out between us. It couldn"t. I wouldn"t allow it to.

"This is the beginning of the end," he whispered as his eyes fluttered shut.

I kissed him like it was our last time, because it should be. Then I stood. A clean towel hung on the wooden fence that hid the balcony from the outside world, and I grabbed it to dry away my sins.

"We can"t ever do this again," I said.

He moved out of the hot tub toward me, and grabbed a towel. I was still p.i.s.sed that he didn"t give me the courtesy to put on a condom.

"I know." His lips met my bare shoulder, and we took our time, knowing. "I"m sorry. I just . . ."

I turned around and placed my fingers over his lips as I slipped the romper over my shoulders. "Don"t. No f.u.c.king emotions."

He nodded his head, then walked away. Water dripped from my hair, and the romper stuck to my skin. I slid on the high heels and walked through the club with my head held high. To say I wasn"t s.e.xually satisfied would be a lie. My body sang with confidence as men watched me walk across the dance floor toward the bar. I had what they wanted, and it made me feel f.u.c.king s.e.xy. Control, I craved it.

Cold air swooshed around me, and I shivered. The edges of the mask were wet from all the splashing. I smiled, replaying what had happened. Stacey and Jake were nowhere to be found, so I walked to the bar and ordered water. s.e.xy Bartender gave me a side grin. Curiosity tugged inside of me, and I wanted to see what was behind the mask that covered every inch of his face, except for his mouth and eyes.

"Did you have a good time, pretty girl?" he asked when he set my water on the bar.

I twirled the straws, and the ice clinked around the gla.s.s.

"You have no idea," I told him, and received a lifted eyebrow.

"Considering where we are, I think I do have an idea."

"Touche, Mr. Bartender. Touche, indeed," I said, then continued, "So, everyone wears a mask here?"

"Masks. I think everyone who walks in that door wears a mask, regardless of whether their faces are covered or not."

There was truth in his statement.

He leaned over the bar until his face was close to mine. "Don"t you agree?" he asked, and I was caught in his trance. His eyes were blue, like the color of the sky, and I could see specks of darker blue inside the irises. Someone further down the bar called their number, and he walked away to pour bourbon. I couldn"t help but watch him work. The black shirt fit snug on his body, and I could imagine the muscles underneath. His blue jeans hung on his hips, and with one tug, I was sure they would fall to the ground. Each time he lifted a bottle to pour, I caught a glimpse of that s.e.xy V that was hidden under his clothes. A few times, he caught me ogling and gave me a side grin.

Wait. Was I flirting? It had been so long, I wasn"t sure if that was what it was or not. Recently, I"ve gone straight for the s.e.x, then once that happened, it was over for me. The chase was the best part, after that it became boring.

Yes, I think I was flirting. That brought a smile to my face as I stared down at my empty gla.s.s.

Another drink and I would be toasted, but I ordered one anyway. Stacey came up behind me. Her hair was a mess, but she was wearing a wicked smile. I didn"t ask her what she"d just done, because, well, the sky was the limit inside Orleans. "Oh, sweet baby Jesus. I love this place. We have to come again," she said.

I swiveled in the chair and looked up at her. "Are you ready to go?"

"Honestly, I don"t think V can handle anymore," she said.

I pulled a hundred dollar bill from the pocket of my romper and placed it under the rocks gla.s.s. Before I left the dance floor, I looked back at the bartender. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. As I walked through the long hallway, I wondered what he was going to say, then silently laughed to myself about the whole situation.

Jake followed in behind us as we pulled our purses and phones from the locker. Outside, we waited for the valet to pull the car around. He opened the door for me, and I scooted into the back. Silence filled the s.p.a.ce. None of us talked about what had just happened. What was there to talk about, anyway?

We pulled into Stacey"s driveway, and Jake walked her inside. I heard him say he was going to bring me home, then head home afterward. He lived a few buildings over from me, so it made sense. After the breakup, he moved a few blocks away, mainly because he worked at an accounting firm that was close. She gave him a hug, covered the brightness of the headlights, then waved goodbye and went inside. She looked like a hot mess, but I was sure I did not look any better. Sometimes I envied her. The world was served to her on her own personal silver platter, and she picked which part she wanted to devour without worry or care. Then again, I supposed if someone were to look at my life, they would say the same, but the truth was mine wasn"t as easy. I could guarantee that. I had to work really f.u.c.king hard. I stopped thinking about it. The weekends were for me to not worry about work.

I swallowed the thoughts down when I noticed Jake was staring at me. The air was thick when he entered the car. We were both covered in the shame of each other.

"Won"t you come sit up front?"

Our eyes met in the rearview mirror, and I nodded. "Look," I told Jake when I slid into the pa.s.senger seat.

He leaned over and kissed me, but I didn"t push him away. Why was I so f.u.c.king weak? When I finally ended the kiss, his eyes were still closed. When he opened them, they were unfocused, almost full of hurt.

We drove in silence. Complete, f.u.c.king silence, and I hated it. The 610 Loop in Houston felt like the longest road as we traveled down it.

Once we arrived at my building, he parked on the street. I turned to look at him, and he gave me a smile. I returned it. I pulled my entry card from my purse, then exited the car. I heard a second door slam, and he followed me inside. I didn"t even turn around to acknowledge him. I stepped inside the elevator, and he did, too. As the doors closed, we were in attack mode with our mouths. I breathed so heavily, and I couldn"t seem to keep my hands from him. He stopped the elevator mid-floor and pulled away from me. We were three floors from the top of the building. Other executives had purchased floors in the high rise, too, but I was at the top, number thirty-two.

"f.u.c.k, Rox. I just. I can"t be without you. I can"t f.u.c.king do it."

I kissed him. I kissed him hard. My lips hurt from the intensity.

"You"re going to have to, Jake. We aren"t together for many reasons. The jealousy, how you smothered me . . . I can"t go down that path again. The s.e.x is f.u.c.king hot. I know that. You know that. But we are not compatible. We aren"t. Don"t make this into a fairy tale, because it"s not. We will never work."

He slammed my wrists against the elevator and nibbled on my neck. It felt so f.u.c.king good. We broke away from one another as the intercom on the elevator buzzed.

"Is everything okay in there?" a man asked.

Jake pressed the call b.u.t.ton and responded, "Yes. Everything is fine." He pushed in the red b.u.t.ton, and we continued to the 32nd floor. I unlocked my door, and we basically ripped the clothes from one another. Kisses. Grabs. Licks. Sucks. The noises we made spurred from nothing but want and need.

He laid me on the bed, and we were both ready for round two.

"No emotions, Jake. This isn"t going anywhere. Just s.e.x. Only. Okay? I don"t want to pretend, or for you to believe we are doing anything to move this forward. It will never become anything more than this."

"Roxane Marie. Shut your dirty little mouth. I"ll take you how I can get you, okay?" He shoved his d.i.c.k deep inside of me hard, and I sighed in satisfaction.

We went hard.

We went rough.