Chapter 34.2

“What did Eddie Kirkham do to you?” he asked, his voice quiet.

Lia took a step back in surprise. Claude closed the distance, grabbing her chin.

“I thought I told you to be careful,” he said, his tone void of emotion.

“I… I didn’t know the aid was the princ.i.p.al…. Please, you’re hurting me. Let go,” Lia frantically stammered.

“If I do?” He asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Lia made a small, confused, questioning sound.

“If I let you go… Who will you hide behind? Who will you whine to next, begging them to look after you?” he inquired, his tone flat, his face cold and hard.

As if disgusted by her, he let go of her chin and looked away from her stunned face. Nailed to the spot, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him.

“I’m not going to hide,” she said softly.

“Your words and actions are always different. Have you ever acted like a man? The way you look and act is pathetic,” the Duke said, a small flicker of genuine anger in his voice.

His words, delivered so calmly, so cruelly, rang in her ears.

Hatred burned inside of her. The nerve of this man. He showed up, unasked, intervened where he did not belong, and then had the audacity to berate her for being weak.

Unable to contain her anger any longer, she burst out, almost yelling, “If you find me so pathetic, stop protecting me. I don’t need your help. I have been doing just fine without you. In fact, I will no longer accept your intervention in matters that don’t concern you. Now, if you don’t mind, I need my hand back,” she concluded, attempting to struggle out of his grip.

As if he hadn’t heard a word she had just said, his hand closed more tightly around hers.

“Sir, why are you doing this to me,” Lia asked, her voice cracking with emotion. “What have I done to make you so angry? Is it because I don’t act like a man?”

His breathing became increasingly labored as she spoke. Without warning, Claude grabbed both of Lia’s wrists and pushed her against the wall.

Glaring at him, the hate in her eyes multiplied as she painfully collided with the wall.

His previously calm exterior crumbled, his emotions bubbling out, as he said, “You make me… Uncomfortable.“

Lia wondered if she had misheard. The emotion in Claude’s voice was deep and undoubtedly real.

“You irritate me, you despicable Canillian Vale,” he said, spitting the words in her face.

His words pierced her, thousands of gla.s.s shards shredding her. Something broke inside of her; unable to contain them any longer, the tears she had been holding back escaped, trailing down her face in long rivers.

She tried to speak, moving her lips soundlessly. But he did not give her the chance to find words, cutting her off.

“Shut up,“ he barked.

“I know. The moment you said I’m a fake… I knew,” she said, finally finding her voice.

With a burst of strength that surprised even her, Lia wrenched her hands out of his grip. As she glared up at him, she saw a crack in his mask. Something she had done had forced him to reveal his real feelings.

Running her hands over her clothing, smoothing her hair down, she chanted, “Don’t cry. Don’t cry,“ to herself as she composed herself.

“Please forgive my rudeness. I won’t bother you again,” she said, turning around, cradling her swollen wrist.

Claude stared impa.s.sively, as Canillia bowed, walking away from him.

As she walked out of the stifling room, a weight was finally lifted from her chest and she could breathe again.

***

The usual sounds of the city became more noisy when it rained, as it was now.

It reminded Lia of when she was a child, when she used to become unusually weak during the monsoon season. The memory of laying on that hard bed, the sounds invading her senses, covering her like a plague, was potent.

The terrified screams of a woman being beaten. The weeping of a starving child nearby. The sounds of rabid animals fighting over sc.r.a.ps in the street. She could hear it all from her bed. Mother would try to comfort her, holding Lia, singing sweet lullabies to her. She would faint, as her mother quietly left their house.

Waking up alone, Lia anxiously awaited her mother’s return. When she finally arrived back home, her mother held her tightly as she whispered that she was sorry.

Lia could smell a strange scent on her mother, one she had never smelt before, but one that would become familiar to her. Lia looked up at the bell tower, her face sorrowful. Peering up at the sky, she could see the top of the moon peeking out from behind a cloud. Her face turned towards the dark sky, she continued to walk.

Thinking back to the library, particular parts of her anatomy grew very hot.

Berating herself for thinking about the Duke, she decided that it was a good thing that the kindness he showed her was nothing more. It would be easier to conceal her gender if he was not making advances.

Feeling better about the lies she told herself, Lia straightened up. Blinking the tears from her eyes, she walked on.

Having walked a good ways away from the bell tower, she made a note of the soldiers observing her. She casually took off the hood covering her head, as she turned towards where the n.o.bles’ carriages were waiting.

Near the library, white clothes hung out a window; the signal that the day’s operation had failed. Without warning, a carriage stopped in front of her, and she quickly looked away from the clothes in the window.

“Young master, I’ll take you home,” a man’s voice said to her.

Her face shone brightly as she recognized her attendee and horseman. With their help, she gratefully climbed on to the carriage. To her left another carriage pa.s.sed by. Inside sat Claude. Their eyes met for a brief moment, but Lia didn’t greet him, and his carriage kept moving.

“I’m starving. Let’s hurry home,” she commanded.