Chapter 14 – Face-Slapping

Yun Xie’s interest was piqued: “Oh?”

The waiter said: “On the South Street up ahead, there’s a cultivator young n.o.bleman who’s teaching and discussing the Dao every day! That young n.o.bleman has absolutely incredible skill, able to not only use the sword and practice martial arts, but also to call the wind and summon the rain. Even his appearance is incomparably beautiful…” He looked at Yun Xie’s and Jiang Xunyi’s faces and felt a guilty conscience, so he ambiguously corrected himself: “…his appearance isn’t bad either. He should have already arrived by now. If the two of you have nothing to do, you can go over there to have your eyes opened.”

Upon listening to the end, Yun Xie had already lost interest. He waved to dismiss the waiter, and then turned back to ridicule: “Ah-Xun, how about Gege takes you over there in a bit to open your eyes and check out that beautiful young n.o.bleman?”

Jiang Xunyi leaned on the chair and said lazily: “Don’t treat it like it’s nothing. Maybe this person is from some sect and knows something, and came to check things out? Might as well go see, perhaps we’ll even run into an acquaintance.”

Yun Xie’s fingers tapped Jiang Xunyi’s acupressure point to remove the prohibition on his martial arts. He smiled: “Whatever you say~”

The two went out of the restaurant and soon arrived at the South Street. Sure enough, they saw a grand and spectacular crowd of people, packed shoulder to shoulder as they surrounded a certain s.p.a.ce. Jiang Xunyi typically detested watching these kinds of bustling scenes, but in order to find the truth of what was going on, he had no choice but to hold his nose and endure it. He took a deep breath and tried to squeeze closer to the center.

On the other hand, Yun Xie’s eyes lit up as he caught side of a snack shop on the side of the street. He pushed Jiang Xunyi and said: “You go first, I…. I saw there’s some monster1 energy on that side, I have to go over to check it out.”

Jiang Xunyi flatly said: “A snack monster?”

Yun Xie laughed out loud: “That’s exactly right.” He poked Jiang Xunyi’s face, and then turned around to disappear without a trace.

Jiang Xunyi snorted and ignored him. He resigned himself to trying to pa.s.s through the densely packed crowd. Upon barely managing to squeeze into the first row, he saw a man on stage wearing a dark blue military outfit, waving his right hand. In the open s.p.a.ce in front of the man, a column of water suddenly sprung up out of nowhere. Under his control, the water froze in place, the ice towering loftily above the crowd.

The surrounding crowd immediately erupted into thunderous applause.

That man looked to be in his twenties. His features were indeed elegant, but his face was full of undisguised arrogance. Hearing the audience’s praise, he smiled proudly: “In fact, this does not really count as difficult. As long as you enter my Heavenly Seal School2, if you are truly qualified, you may also have this lucky opportunity.”

Jiang Xunyi had previously heard of the Heavenly Seal School, but he had never seen this person before. Despite this man’s impetuous heart, he clearly had no real accomplishments and seemed to only be here to recruit disciples for his sect. Overwhelmed with deep boredom, Jiang Xunyi only bitterly regretted sacrificing all that effort to squeeze into this crowd, and immediately wanted to leave.

He had just thought of leaving and his body hadn’t yet moved, when a flurry of silver bolts3 flashed in the air, fiercely rushing straight at him!

Given Jiang Xunyi’s ability, evading these bolts would of course be effortlessly easy. But right now he was completely surrounded by ordinary people, making it difficult to avoid accidental injury to others. In addition, he clearly saw the course of the silver bolts and knew they would not harm him, so he simply stood in place without moving.

In the eyes of others, this luxuriously dressed little n.o.bleman had been scared stiff, and several people couldn’t help but exclaim out loud.

However, the silver bolts all pierced Jiang Xunyi’s robes and cuffs, and did not hurt his flesh.

Only after seeing this did the crowd breathe a sigh of relief. The cultivator on stage grinned from ear to ear: “Ah, I’m truly sorry. I saw a personal sword hanging on this young n.o.bleman’s waist, as well as an extremely impatient expression on his face. I4 thought you were some mighty power of another sect so dodging these toys would be effortless for you. I didn’t intend to actually break this sir’s5 clothes.”

In fact, the man was secretly annoyed at heart. He originally saw Jiang Xunyi’s handsome appearance squeezing in and thought it might grab his own limelight. He wanted to scare Jiang Xunyi to expose a thoroughly ugly appearance. He didn’t expect Jiang Xunyi would not move or become shocked, but instead make people lose interest.

Jiang Xunyi indifferently said: “I saw this sir’s5 animal head and small eyes6, a truly remarkable appearance eager to bully the weak and bow before the strong. If you really thought I was a mighty power, wouldn’t you have long since knelt before me in greeting?”

When was the last time that man had been so taunted and ridiculed? His anger rose and he immediately wanted to fight back. Only after remembering the watching crowd around him did he manage to press his temper back down and force himself to endure: “Common laypeople do not know the immensity of heaven and earth and inevitably speak with rude impertinence. If you recognize your wrongs to me right now, we can let this matter pa.s.s.”

Jiang Xunyi sneered mockingly. He had yet to say anything when Yun Xie’s voice came from behind: “Ah-Xun, I only left for a little bit and you’re already so bored as to crack jokes with a street entertainer?”

Hearing these words, that cultivator’s face flushed red with anger, and even the people below the stage began to speak:

Hearing these words, that cultivator’s face flushed red with anger, and even the people below the stage began to speak:

“How dare these young people slander the immortal master?”

“The two of you hurry and apologize, it won’t be good if you anger this remarkable  young n.o.bleman with supernatural powers.”

Jiang Xunyi did not pay any attention to them. He looked back to see Yun Xie’s arms full of paper bags, and spoke slowly and leisurely: “A rich harvest.”

Yun Xie smiled and batted his eyes: “Sorry to make you wait. That monkey’s tricks aren’t fun to watch at all. Let’s leave?”

Yun Xie was truly amazingly talented: as soon as he appeared, he immediately pulled Jiang Xunyi’s Aggro7 onto himself instead. That man didn’t care about his own demeanor anymore—he suddenly pulled out his sword and pointed it at Yun Xie to shout: “You little brat, get on up here and fight me!”

Yun Xie had still been facing Jiang Xunyi with a radiant smile. Now as he turned to bestow that man a proper glance, his face turned dark and he spoke indifferently: “You are no match for me, call your Shizun here instead.”

With a loud shout, that cultivator stabbed his sword towards Yun Xie. Yun Xie’s hands were stuffed full of snacks, so he hurriedly turned to hide behind Jiang Xunyi and smiled: “Ah-Xun, hurry and help me!!”

Jiang Xingyi blocked in front of Yun Xie. With a pinch of his outstretched fingers, that previously threatening sword was immediately stopped in place. No matter how much force the other side used, the sword could no longer move even half an inch.

The cultivator was red-faced with what could be shame or anger or both. After letting go of the sword, he formed a secret seal with his right hand and tried the same thing again, making an ice blade fly at Jiang Xunyi.

At this time, the surrounding observers had already dispersed into the distance, so Jiang Xunyi had no more scruples. With a flick of the fingers of his left hand, a cl.u.s.ter of raging flames manifested from his fingertips. The blaze then turned into a small fire dragon, instantly swallowing that ice blade and then slamming into that cultivator’s chest. The man immediately toppled backwards, blood spurting from his mouth. The front of his robes had also been burned by the fire dragon, and he now fumbled around in complete and utter panic.

At the same time, Jiang Xunyi’s right fingertip gently applied a small amount of force, and that long sword was effortlessly snapped into two halves.

With this reveal of his true skill, everyone around him instantly fell into absolute silence. The cultivator was shocked and strove to cover his chest: “Who… are you really?”

With this reveal of his true skill, everyone around him instantly fell into absolute silence. The cultivator was shocked and strove to cover his chest: “Who… are you really?”

Yun Xie suddenly raised his voice: “School Master Wu, are you here to pick up this ‘heroic’ street entertainer?”

His words had just landed when several people immediately walked out from the crowd, led by a heavyweight middle-aged man. Upon coming closer, this man bowed to Yun Xie and smiled bitterly: “That inferior disciple Feng Duan has always been insolent, and this time he didn’t recognize Sect Master Yun. My4 teaching of disciples was not strict enough—I am truly ashamed and can only humbly apologize to you.”

This man was precisely the School Master of the Heavenly Seal School, Wu Tianqi. As he turned his head to see Jiang Xunyi right next to Yun Xie, a thought pa.s.sed through his mind and he hurriedly said: “Would this one happen to be…”

Yun Xie reached out to pat Jiang Xunyi’s shoulder, and smiled faintly: “Offending me is nothing. If School Master Wu is truly sincere, you should be apologizing to our young master Jiang.”

Hearing that this person really was Jiang Xunyi, Wu Tianqi couldn’t help but secretly complain at this hardship. These two men were young in age yet high in skill, born with unyielding and obstinate tempers. The Heavenly Seal School could not afford to provoke either of them, but unexpectedly managed to offend both today. Wu Tianqi hurriedly wiped his sweat and repeatedly apologized to Jiang Xunyi.

Jiang Xunyi did not like taking his anger out on the undeserving. Seeing Wu Tianqi like this, he moved to stop him: “School Master Wu, there’s no need for this. It is only a mere misunderstanding, I naturally will not take this to heart.”

Wu Tianqi did not expect that despite his ice-cold appearance, Jiang Xunyi was actually so pleasant of speech. He breathed a great sigh of relief, and turned to yell at the still-stunned Feng Duan: “b.a.s.t.a.r.d8! Still not apologizing to Sect Master Yun and young master Jiang?!”

Feng Duan could never have expected these two young men were actually the famous Dual Jades of the Spirit Stage. Faced with this astonishment, he could hardly speak, only kneel on the ground trembling. Yun Xie stood to one side, clearly allowing Jiang Xunyi to take charge. Just looking at Feng Duan made Jiang Xunyi feel irked at the whole troublesome matter. As more and more onlookers surrounded them, he waved his hand: “I already said it was a misunderstanding, there is no need to bring this up again. School Master Wu, we still have other business, you may do as you please.” He tugged at Yun Xie, intending to leave.

Footnotes:
1. As an aside, I’m translating 妖(yāo) as “monster” while keeping 魔(mó) as “demon.” In general, 妖 are objects or living things that managed to “evolve”, gain consciousness, and achieve greater power by absorbing spiritual energy and training themselves.
2. 印乾门: 印 = “Seal, print, stamp”; 乾 = one of the Eight Trigrams symbolizing Heaven/male principle; 门 = “Gate/door but also school/sect”
3. 芒 = “awn/arista/tip of a blade”. In this case, I’m not super sure but I think 芒 refers to blade-like projectiles, so I just translated it as “bolts”
4. 在下 (zài xià) lit. “this one who is beneath you” is a humble way of referring to oneself.
5. 阁下(gé xià) is an honorific used to refer to others with respect. Its meaning can vary from “sir” to “your distinguished self” to even “your majesty”
6. 獐头鼠目 lit. “head of a river deer and eyes of a mouse”, basically referring to a person who looks ugly and also seems to be sly and crafty.
7. 仇恨值 is equivalent to “Hatred/Threat/Aggro” in MMORPGs. A player that generates the highest Aggro onto an enemy will be prioritized by that enemy’s attacks. Yun Xie is therefore the best tank ever lol. See  畜生 lit. “domestic animal” or “brute”