He get"s up and open the door, it was his own sister Chu Rou. She looked pale, no make up, eyes are red and swollen obviously just crying.

"Who bullied you?" Chu Feng frowned and pulled her inside. He and Chu Rou get"s along since childhood, he don"t want to see her hurt even the slightest. She is gentle and sensible like her name and she cares about his brother.

Chu Rou looked at Chu Feng with red eyes and said hoa.r.s.ely, "Rong Yun committed suicide."

Rong Yun, this is a familiar and unfamiliar name for him so he didn"t respond for a moment. Its like a distant memories are being opened. Its a name with a faint sense of pain but the strange feeling was still there.

After seeing Chu Feng"s reaction, Chu Rou lost it and seize his collar with both hands, her eyes are full of tears. "Chu Feng you b.a.s.t.a.r.d! Did you forget him?! Did you already forget Rong Yun?!"

The tears of Chu Rou drop to the hands of Chu Feng and the temperature is not warm but hot. He really forgot Rong Yun. If Chu Rou didn"t mention him, maybe he will never remember this name, this person...

Chu Rou shake Chu Feng"s collar and cried, "Give Rong Yun back! Give him back to me! He promised to live... He promised..."

Chu Rou shake him for a long time and he didn"t know how to react.

Her Shaking becomes a beating and the tears flowed faster. "For ten years, you"ve lived a wonderful life, but him? He was tortured by depression for ten years and was like a gopher who didn"t dare to see the light. Chu Feng, you owe him and even your life is not enough to repay him..."

Depression, this word is like a knife that stab in Chu Feng"s heart. Depression is not a terminal illness, but it can be fatal.

"You know, he always liked you... He always likes you! But what did you do to him? Chu Feng, you"re really despicable! Why are you living and he"s dead?! Why?! Why..." Chu Rou could not talk anymore, she slipped and sat on the ground and crying hysterically.

Chu Feng feels like he"s starting to get a sense of numbness on his body starting from his fingertips, as if the blood had ceased to flow. The gloomy atmosphere spread in the entire house. Rong Yun"s crying face was dug out from his memory, it"s so real, so clear...

Each school will have more or less bad boy-like figures. When no one cares about a school bad boy, these people became the main force of the bullying incident. Sometimes there isn"t even a reason for it, just because they don"t like the other person, they would beat him.

Chu Feng was one of the high school bad boys and the leader of their time. High school is supposed to be a good time to study, but not all high schools have this kind of atmosphere. Especially boarding high school, they have their rebellious age. A group of rich second-generation and official second-generation students whose performance is not good enough mixed together and became a bully. They bully and provoke, this is the high school life of Chu Feng and his "buddies".

Rong Yun is a very delicate boy. He is pure and good-looking that is rare in their school. In addition, his academic performance is also good and he is kind to people, so he is popular in girls.

During the third year of high school, somehow, he suddenly heard that Rong Yun was h.o.m.os.e.xual. When that rumor begins to spread, girl"s didn"t believe it but boy"s were disgusted. So a lot of boy"s began to avoid Rong Yun and seemed to be afraid of a.s.sociating with him thinking of being the same kind as him. For a long time, Rong Yun was left out.

It was friday and most of the students returned home after school. Chu Feng"s relationship with his father is bad and they just fight again on his phone. He"s in a bad mood. After playing basketball, he was going back in the cla.s.sroom to take his schoolbag back to the dormitory. He heard a burst of scolding and ridicule on the staircase of the side door.

Chu Feng pick his eyebrow, he is familiar with this voice- it was his friends he grew up with.

Listening to his voice, he didn"t know which cla.s.smate he is messing with. Chu Feng"s mood is not good. The noise makes him feel more angry and go up to where the noise was.

"Why are you so loud?" Chu Feng ask unhappily. Chu Feng is definitely a bad boy in school and his schoolmates a.s.sessment on him is not good, he is only handsome. But if you have to add two more, it is probably fighting and basketball that he is good with.

After Gui Heng see him, he laugh and say, "Nothing, I see him not pleasing to the eyes and taught him a lesson." That kind of att.i.tude is like talking about eating rice gruel today.

Chu Feng take a look at the boy who was pressed to the ground by several people. It was none other than Rong Yun. At this time, Rong Yun"s face had a few bruises, his mouth has a purple marks and his forehead has also green marks. His shirt was pulled and the b.u.t.tons are already gone revealing a white body and slender clavicle. Even his pants were not spared, his clothes couldn"t be worn again. 

Rong Yun"s eyes are red but did not cry. He just clutch his shirt without b.u.t.tons silently.

He elbowed Chu Feng slightly, lifted his chin and smiled. "Did you hear the rumors? This guy is gay."

 Several boys on the side also ridiculed, "Feng ge, what do you think of this kid? He likes a man, so disgusting."

"Did he think of himself as a girl? Did you also wear a dress at home?"

"My girlfriend also said that he looks good,  he is so frail, what is there to look at? Is he tall like me?"

•    •    •    •    •

They are so noisy that Chu Feng was so annoyed, he couldn"t find a place to vent his anger. After seeing Rong Yun"s face he is even more irritated. His face are looking more ugly.

One of the boys walked up to Chu Feng"s side with a smirk on his face and glanced at Rong Yun"s direction. He lowered his voice and said, "Feng ge, I heard that it was very exciting to do it with men.

Gui Heng was on Chu Feng"s side and heard it. He smiled and pushed the other boy and said, "Shut up, What are you talking about?" In fact, at their age, they are most addicted to these kind of things.

Because of his family"s situation, Chu Feng often travels abroad and knows more about this than his friends. He don"t know why but looking at Rong Yun"s state, he suddenly thought of something bad.

  Chu Feng"s face sank more, he remember his and his father"s quarrel and the anger in his heart didn"t disappeared. He was looking for a place to vent but he didn"t want to do it with many people. He look at his friends and said kindly, "All right, you all go. Later if you see him just walk around to avoid being infected."

Several people laughed a few times mockingly, and did not stay any longer. After saying goodbye to Chu Feng, they first left with Gui Heng as if nothing happened.

The stairwell was quiet, leaving only Chu Feng and Rong Yun. Rong Yun slowly sat up, his movement was very slow, he seemed to be extremely injured. He lowered his head and did not look at Chu Feng.

Chu Feng Looked at the torn clothes of Rong Yun and the fire in his body grew more. Thinking of his dispute with his father and the other unpleasant thing, his anger broke out and wanted to find a way to vent his depression and dissatisfaction so he unconsciously stretch out his hand on Rong Yun...

Recalling that period of past events, Rong Yun"s cry seems to float in his ears. Rong Yun did not cry when he was beaten and humiliated by others, but he cried when he entered him.

Until now, Chu Feng did not know why he forced Rong Yun to do it with him, but he was very certain that it was not making love, even if the messy Rong Yun is indeed very attractive. When he returned to his sanity, he already entered him. He also did not care and did not look at him, he wears his clothes and left.

Since then, Chu Feng has never seen Rong Yun again. Some people said that Rong Yun had dropped out of school. Some people said that he had already gone abroad... In short, Rong Yun disappeared. Chu Feng did not pay any attention to it. Rong Yun was no different from his cla.s.smates who had been bullied by him before. Maybe at the beginning he would still think of such a person, but for a long time, he slowly forgot about him.

Chu Rou cried out and reluctantly calmed her emotions and stood up to sit on the sofa. Then She took four thick notebooks from her bag and placed them neatly on the coffee table. She has a nasal sound and said reluctantly, "This is what Rong Yun left. You are the least qualified to take it, but... You are the only one who can receive it."

Chu Feng"s numb body regained a little consciousness and turned to look at the coffee table. The two sides have begun to yellow, with a little time stamp.

"Chu Feng, I will not forgive you, never..." After she said this, Chu Rou picked up her bag and stepped away.

Chu Feng stand in place for a long time, he slowly sat down on the sofa and began to look at the books.

This is a hand-written novel. The person who wrote it is Rong Yun. The protagonist of the story is also Rong Yun and him. A very simple love story, not too many twists and turns, but the love is real and the delicate writing seems to have endless feelings. In the novel, Rong Yun did not encounter the school bullies, according to the original course he grew up, loved and describe how they manage to live and love each other. In the story he and Rong Yun began to socialize in high school, walked through the university and entered the community. Rong Yun was an author who used a pen name to make a living and he was not an actor but an ordinary office worker. The life of the two people is very simple, but it was like a sweet cake, and the sweetness is everywhere.

Although the Chu Feng in the novel is completely different from the actual Chu Feng, he knows that the person was him, regardless of appearance, personality, preferences, habits, etc.... it"s all him. The other side of himself he did not know, Rong Yun actually knew.

When Chu Feng finished reading all the books, it was already dark.

Through these words, he can clearly feel Rong Yun"s feelings for him. It was very strong, sad and humbled... Some people say that words can only express one tenth of the emotion, because many feelings cannot be written in statement, they can only be hidden in the heart of the author.

At the end of the last book, there is a postscript.

He is the person I shouldn"t love the most in my life, but love can"t always be controlled. I met him at my best age, I got the saddest result. my depression wasn"t all because of what he did to me. It was nothing more than a fuse.

I originally wrote these to give my self a motivation to live, but the more happy the love is in the story, the more sad it is in the reality, so it did not cure me, it just let me stay in a dream.

I promised to Chu Rou, as long as she did not mention him to me, I will work hard to live. But this time, I"m afraid I"m going to break my promise. I"m too tired to live. As if I"m submerged in a word called "negative" everyday. Chu Rou is a good girl. I thank her for visiting me from time to time, but I cannot love her.

Goodbye, Chu Feng. I think you will never know that there was a person you"ve hurt and even death can"t get rid of this love for you.

I don"t know when Chu Feng was in tears. When he reacted, tears slowly falls in the book and a dot was drawn.

Chu Rou did not criticize him. He was really a sc.u.mbag and he ruined his life. He also understood why Rong Yun was crying so badly, a person who has an unrequited love is one thing. But it is a different matter if the one you have an unrequited love with hurt you, the latter would surely collapse like everyone else.

Rong Yun"s affection for him made him moved, but he never had an opportunity to make up for it.

He hadn"t eaten for a whole day and he is slightly dizzy but he still had no appet.i.te. He got up and drank a gla.s.s of water and sat on the couch with his fingers rubbing against his skin as if stroking Rong Yun"s face. I don"t know for how long, Chu Feng suddenly fell on the sofa and lost his consciousness.

When he open his eyes again, it is clearly not his home. Chu Feng was stunned and suddenly sat up and the distant and familiar environment actually appeared before him - this was his high school dormitory for three years.

Chu Feng was confused for a moment and punch the wall. The coldness and pain made him know that he was not dreaming - he was born again, and he returned to high school!

-- Hey guys, please don"t put my translation in other websites. Its my first time translating so some words and spellings may be wrong. I only use google translate and other website translator and I"m also not good in english so if I have a mistake/s please tell me nicely. Thank you :)

Ps. I know the t.i.tle "Rebirth and Redemption" is wrong so please help me think of a good name to change it. I"m torn from "Rebirth to atone" and "Rebirth because of regret", but you can also tell me your idea. I am not a native chinese nor am I good at english so please bear with me guys. Thank you again!