Rosemary Beach: When I'm Gone

Chapter 21

I stepped out into the darkness, still wondering if this was a dream and if I had somehow managed to get some sleep tonight after all.

"Reese?" I asked, afraid that if I touched her, I"d wake up.

"I"m sorry. I . . . seeing you . . . I was going to be strong and tell you I love you and I messed up and I love you and-"

f.u.c.k the dream. I reached for her and pulled her into my arms.

She was here. She was here. She was here.



Her arms wrapped around me and held on tightly. Just the way I remembered. The sweet cinnamon met my nose, and I knew my imagination wasn"t that good. I"d tried to imagine her smell more than once and couldn"t. This was my Reese.

"I love you. I won"t leave. I"m here to make you take me back. I"m empty without you." She sobbed in my arms.

Was she trying to persuade me to let her stay with me? Did she seriously think she had to beg for me to keep her?

"Reese, I-"

She pulled back and looked up at me with wide, panicked eyes. "No. Don"t say anything. Just listen to me. I was wrong. You"re worth fighting for. I was . . . I am a mess. I have to overcome a lot, but I will make it worth it. I will love you more than she ever could. More than anyone ever could. I"ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I"m worth the ha.s.sle. I won"t let a day go by without showing you how much I love you. I"ll move here. I"ll get a place and a job. I will cook you meals, and I"ll-"

I covered her mouth with mine and stopped her adorable, rambling argument. Her surprised cry was followed by a whimper, and she kissed me like she needed the taste of me to live. Her sweetness seeped into me, as those plump lips pressed against mine. I cupped her face and pulled her back so that I could look into her eyes.

They were still watery from her instant breakdown when she saw me. But they were beautiful. My beautiful baby-blues. The ones that I dreamed about. The ones that would always hold me.

"I"m worth fighting for?" I asked, wanting to hear her say that one more time. She had looked so d.a.m.n determined when she"d said it the first time.

"Yes!" she said, the fierceness coming back.

"And who do you think you have to fight against for me?"

Pain flickered in her eyes. I didn"t want that. I started to a.s.sure her that there was no one, but she spoke first. "Anyone . . . I"ll fight anyone," she said finally.

She was talking about Cordelia. That motherf.u.c.king text.

"Baby. From the moment those lips of yours touched mine, I was yours. No, scratch that. From the moment I walked out of the bedroom and saw your sweet a.s.s in the air and heard you singing off key, I was yours. No one else. Ever. Before you, yes, there were others. And there was one girl I had a "friends with benefits" relationship with. Nothing else. But the moment you walked into my life, that ended. She didn"t take it well, and she tried to get me to change my mind. But all I saw, all my heart saw, was you. No one else."

"Cordelia," she said softly.

"Yes. But the text you saw from Major was because I came home from work to find her in my bed. I ordered her out and threatened to call my momma if she didn"t get out of my bed. I even washed my sheets to get rid of her smell. h.e.l.l, I"ve even bought a new mattress since then and new sheets. I didn"t want to sleep on anything that had anyone but you on it. Ever."

"She left her panties that day," she said softly, her eyes shining with new tears. "That was what the text meant."

I nodded. I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. "If I"d known that was what had you looking at me like I was a monster, I would have stayed and fought for you. But I thought it was the past, the demons that haunt you. I thought I had pushed too hard and you needed s.p.a.ce." I stopped and took a deep breath. "I thought you would call. I waited. I was waiting. I was going to wait forever."

She puckered up again, and I started kissing her face. I didn"t want her to cry. I had her here. With me.

"I"m not letting you go back. You"re staying with me. I can"t let you leave me. I"ll go crazy," I told her, as I kissed her cheeks and nose, then pressed a chaste kiss to her mouth.

"I don"t want to leave," she said.

G.o.d, I loved her. "Come inside," I said, slipping my hand over hers and leading her into the house. "Lie down with me. I want to hold you."

Reese stopped, and I looked back at her. "No. Tonight I want to hold you," she said, her face once again determined.

"If that"s what you want," I agreed.

I took off her boots and pulled down her jeans. She let me undress her without question. When I unhooked her bra, I didn"t touch or look, I just grabbed my discarded T-shirt and slipped it over her head.

She buried her nose in it and inhaled, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. I loved it when she cuddled with my clothing as if it were me.

Then she crawled up onto my new king-size bed and put her back against the headboard and held out her arms to me.

Emotion battling with amus.e.m.e.nt, I was able to keep the tears burning my eyes from breaking free. I moved over her and laid my head against her chest so I could listen to her heartbeat.

She ran her fingers through my hair as we lay there like that. I wrapped my arms around her waist and basked in her scent. The sound of her heart sped up every time I slid my hand down toward her bottom, then back up again.

"Every step I"ve taken in life has led me to you," she said in a whisper. "And because I"m here now, I don"t regret one thing. For every bad thing that happened, I"ve been rewarded something even more beautiful than all of the bad in return. You made it worth it. You"re my gift in life. I lived through the bad and survived. My reward was that G.o.d gave me you."

I no longer cared about holding back tears.

I cried in her arms.

Reese.

Today we were both going back to Rosemary Beach to pack up my things. Mase hadn"t been OK with me going anywhere without him, so for two days, I wore clothes that belonged to Harlow from when she had stayed at his house a couple of years ago. They were all too short and snug, but I managed to make do.

However, Mase wouldn"t let me out of the house dressed in her clothing. He was worried about someone looking at me. Major had seen me the first morning in a pair of Harlow"s shorts and a tank top and offered Mase his left nut for me. Mase had punched him in the face. It had been a fiasco.

When Maryann had come up to the house, upset and asking Mase why he had broken Major"s nose, he told her, and she"d started laughing. Then she"d turned right around and left.

I woke up to an empty bed that morning, which, after the way Mase had held me in a vise grip the past two nights, surprised me. I got up and walked toward the bathroom to hear the shower running and Mase singing. Unlike my singing, his was beautiful. His voice had a raspy edge to it, but it flowed in a way that gave me goose b.u.mps. I"d never heard him sing before. With a father like Kiro, it only made sense that he had a voice to match his gene pool.

I didn"t recognize the lyrics, but they drew me in. I opened the door and stepped into the steam. He didn"t notice me, but his head was tilted back under the water, and he was still singing.

I"ll take your demons if you"ll let me in. Don"t hold it back, baby, because all I want to give is more.

His head turned, and his singing stopped when his eyes locked with mine.

It wasn"t one of those things I needed to think about and plan. This man loved me, and I knew I"d never love anyone the way I loved him. He was willing to take anything I threw at him, as long as he could hold me in the end.

Grabbing the hem of my shirt, I pulled it up and over my head and tossed it to the floor. Then I quickly slipped off my panties and went to open the shower door. Mase stood frozen as his gaze trailed down my naked body.

Stepping into the hot stream of water, I looked down at his thick, corded thighs and trailed my gaze up to see that he was hard and ready. Feeling brave and safe, I reached for the soap and began lathering my hands as Mase stood still. He didn"t move or even flinch. Only his eyes followed my every move. I moved closer and slid both hands over his hard, smooth length.

A low groan came from his chest, and I looked up at him to see his eyelids had lowered to that hooded expression I loved. Sliding my wet, soapy hands over him with long strokes, I watched as his jaw went lax, and he backed up and leaned against the wall. I moved a hand underneath to cup his tight sack and began soaping him there, too.

"Reese," he moaned, reaching for my hand.

"Let me," I begged, pressing my b.r.e.a.s.t.s against his chest.

"Ah . . . fuuuck."

I kept my grip firm and slow as the tip of his p.e.n.i.s grew red. Clear fluid began to leak out, and I became anxious to hear him come. I quickened my pace, and his breath hitched.

"I"m gonna . . . come. s.h.i.t, baby, I"m gonna come," he said, and then a deep cry fell from his lips as his release shot out onto my stomach and over my hands.

"Don"t move." He gasped, and I looked up to see his eyes zoom in on my stomach, covered in him. "Oh, G.o.dd.a.m.n . . . don"t move. Just let me look at you. Like that."

Feeling brave, I ran my fingertip through the white stream of come that had landed on me. Then I lifted my gaze to look at him. His eyes had gone hot again. A possessive gleam shone in them.

"Rub it in," he said in a hoa.r.s.e whisper.

I did as he said. I used both hands and ma.s.saged it into my skin until it was gone.

He reached behind himself and took the bar of soap and began to soap his hands. Moving away from the wall, he closed the s.p.a.ce between us until his hands covered my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Then he began to wash me. Or them. Thoroughly. He pinched my nipples and squeezed them gently before moving down my stomach. When he got to where I"d rubbed his release into my skin, he washed it with a reverent touch that made the ache between my legs turn into a throb.

By the time he moved his hand between my legs, I had to put both my hands out to hold on to the wall on either side of me. My legs began to buckle, and Mase whispered in my ear that I was beautiful. That I was his. That he loved every part of me. That seeing his come on me made him crazy with need.

Holding on to his shoulders, I felt the buildup coming, and I knew I was about to be hit with an o.r.g.a.s.m that would very likely send me to my knees.

Mase slipped an arm around my waist and held me as he pressed on my c.l.i.t one more time. He held me while the pleasure crashed over me, and my knees finally gave in and buckled.

By the time I was coming back to earth, he had rinsed me and was carrying me out of the shower. He didn"t dry me until he set me on the end of his bed. When he had me dry, he did a quick once-over on himself, then moved me back on the bed.

His mouth covered mine as his hard, naked body brushed up against me. I arched my back, trying to feel more of him as he continued to hold himself up and over me. This would be another reason I was thankful for my long legs. I wrapped them around his waist and forced him down on me.

"Yes, oh, G.o.d, yes, that feels good," I said against his mouth, as my b.r.e.a.s.t.s were finally smashed against his chest and my center was open to him while his thick erection rubbed against it.

Mase tore his mouth from mine and buried it in my neck. He was breathing hard. And I realized his hands were in tight fists by my head.

"Mase?" I asked, running my fingers down his back, enjoying the feel of the muscles flexed under my touch.

"I want . . . I can"t . . . G.o.d, baby," he groaned, and his fists clenched as if he was fighting something hard.

I felt the swell of his erection jerk against me, and I knew then. He wanted inside me. I"d been so wrapped up in feeling him close that I hadn"t once gotten frightened.

The pain from my past. The pain that I once marked any contact with, s.e.xual or otherwise, was no longer in my life. This man was my world. He loved me. He was gentle and careful with me. And I wanted to be as close to him as possible. I wanted to know what it was like to be one with him. This wasn"t dirty or wrong. This was beautiful and pure.

Lifting my hips, I moved my hand down and angled him until his tip was right there at my entrance. In one thrust, we would be joined. This was what s.e.x was made for, a magical connection between two people who loved each other so much they became whole in body, if only for a moment. Just like the hearts they"d already joined together.

"Make love to me, Mase. Show me what love is like. Please." I added the last word to remind him of all the times he"d asked me if he could touch me and ended it with "please." I wanted this as much as he had wanted those things.

"You"re my life," he whispered in my ear, as he sank inside of me, filling me up.

Tears filled my eyes, and I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. With a gentleness that I"d only known from him, he began to rock into me, while he kissed my face and neck and told me I was beautiful. That we were beautiful.

I had never known anything could feel this complete.

Sliding my legs up and down his back and his perfectly defined bottom, I sank into the luxury of being loved by Mase.

"I love you," he panted in my ear.

"I love you, too," I said on a small cry.

"I want to come inside you. But I won"t until you"re ready," he said, as he kissed my neck.

I wanted him inside me. But I wasn"t on any birth control. I needed that. I had never had a need for it before.

"G.o.d, Reese, you"re so tight. I swear, I don"t want to ever pull out of you," he said on a growl.

Lifting my legs up so his thrust went deeper, I felt him rub something inside me, and I instantly shot off into the brightest explosion I"d ever felt. His name tore from my lips, and I locked my legs around him and held on so I didn"t fall away.

His body shook as he shouted my name. As he jerked above me, I peeled open my eyes to see his eyes closed tightly and his head thrown back. Sweat had broken out on his forehead, and a small drop rolled down his face and landed on me.

When he finally opened his eyes, he looked directly at me. "I can"t apologize for that, because, G.o.d, Reese, I swear, angels just sang, and this house just rocked on its foundation."

Smiling, I ran my hands through his damp hair and pulled his mouth down to mine. "What would you apologize for?" I asked against his lips.

"For coming inside you," he said in a whisper.

He was still inside me. I"d been so lost in the aftermath of heaven that I hadn"t realized it.

"Oh," I replied.

"When you locked your legs, I tried to hold off until you finished, but you"re so tight. And you"re so d.a.m.n gorgeous when you get off. And you squeezed me like a glove, baby. I was coming before I realized it."

I wasn"t ruining this moment because we"d forgotten ourselves. "Mase, that was . . . that was more . . . more than I ever imagined."

He rolled over onto his back, still buried inside of me. I liked that he wasn"t in a hurry to leave me. I wanted him as close as possible. I was now on top of him. "I love you. You"re my world. But there are two things running a really close second," he said in a serious tone. "Those long legs of yours and that tight little p.u.s.s.y are going to own me if you"re not careful," he added with a teasing grin.

Laughing, I kissed him. Because he was mine.

Mase.

I had written my address with a Sharpie on each box, now stacked by Reese"s front door. She was busy cleaning the now-empty fridge. Jimmy had just left after tearfully hugging her during their good-bye.

He"d done just as I asked. He"d been there for her. He had kept her safe. And I owed the man one. I wasn"t sure how I would repay him, but I would. Somehow.