Chapter 1: Hikikomori (2) –> Siege Master

Sasami-san @ Ganbaranai

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VOLUME 3

PART 1: Ama-no-Iwato (1)

To those who plan to break into my room:

Cursed be you all.

– Tsukuyomi Sasami.

“Alright then.”

I had just finished pasting a sign to the wooden door in my entranceway which read To those who plan to break into my room: Cursed be you all. – Tsukuyomi Sasami. I stepped back satisfied and admired my handiwork.

What are you supposed to be, a pharaoh or something?! I could almost hear the entire country yelling that at me. But yeah, I guess I was.

The pharaohs of Egypt received their power through divine right similar to how the Tsukuyomi miko received the power of the Supreme G.o.d through incest. We were quite similar.

“The other G.o.ds want to be on my good side so they’ll just go ahead and try to eliminate unwanted visitors, just like so many grave-robbers and archaeologists who tried to steal from the pyramids were done in by the pharaoh’s curse. Ufufu.”

I let out an ominous laugh.

“Now… n.o.body can come into my room.”

As I muttered to myself, I slowly shut my door… and went back into my room.

I had not only my bed, which was covered with stuffed animals, but also my laptop, a desk lamp, manga, magazines, novels, a portable gaming system, and an a.s.sortment of sweets for when I got hungry. I was ready.

“I’m not a hikikomori (2) anymore. Now I’m a siege master.”

I declared that to my stuffed animals as if I was the dictator of this small world and they were my loyal subjects.

“We must hold the castle.”

In other words, this was war.

“I will not allow anybody to come into this room.”

For example, not even my brother, who loves me more than he does anybody else in the world.

Or even the Yagami sisters, who support, guide, and protect me.

”Sasami-sama! Why would you want to start such a reckless siege?!”

I picked up the most recent addition to my collection – the slightly bloodstained stuffed bunny which was filled with memories from my time shopping with my mother – and moved it around, pretending like it was talking back to me.

”There’s no way you can win! No matter what method your brother uses, he’ll find a way to get into this room just so he can see or smell you! Also, the Yagami sisters are high-level G.o.ds, so no matter how much of the power of the Supreme G.o.d you use, there’s a big chance they’ll break through!”

“There’s no need for panic, Usa-chan.” (3)

I sat majestically on my knees atop my bed and spoke.

“My brother might be a stubborn pervert and the Yagami sisters might be powerful, but by my calculations this should be a toss-up. After all, this time I’m actually trying hard to stop them, and I’m not going to hold back on the power of the Supreme G.o.d. “

”Ohh, at last..>!”

”Sasami-sama always says she’ll try harder tomorrow, or she hasn’t shown us what she’s like if she gets serious, but now she’s finally getting her lazy b.u.t.t into gear…!”

All my stuffed animals cheered for me and stuff.

“Okay.”

I crossed my arms and lifted up my bottle of iced tea in celebration of my newfound motivation.

“To our victory! And to a quiet spring break!”

Sa, Sa, Mi! Sa, Sa, Mi!

I nodded as I ecstatically listened to the cheers of approval ringing around me (of course, all of this was in my imagination).

Indeed.

I was planning to do absolutely nothing this spring break.

I would just wrap myself up in my futon, laze around, and just eat and sleep.

“I won’t let anybody disturb me.”

Something sad had happened the other day.

My mother had twisted the logic of this world and returned from the dead… and because I was weak and foolish, I couldn’t do anything but betray her trust and hopes.

After that, I couldn’t take a step outside my room.

The minute I did, I would get attacked by awful waves of nausea.

But… because of that, I decided to take a small break.

I didn’t intend to lock myself in my room forever.

I wouldn’t be weathering this siege until the end of time.

Once I rested my mind and body, and once I came to terms with these ceaseless, depressing thoughts, I would try hard again.

And conveniently, we were in the middle of spring break anyway.

But, my brother and the Yagami sisters didn’t seem to understand my position and just tried to b.u.t.t in… honestly, I didn’t need them.

I was still in an unstable state of mind. If I met them face to face, I really couldn’t predict what I would do.

I could only see us hurting each other, tiring each other out, and the entire situation just devolving into chaos.

So, I would avoid them.

I would shut myself in, even if I had to force the issue.

I was grateful for their kindness, but right now, it felt more like unnecessary meddling.

“Also…”

I looked down at my body and sighed.

There was one particular irregularity there.

If they saw me like this, they’d probably raise a huge fuss about it. So, I wouldn’t see anybody.

“I definitely won’t go outside. I won’t talk with anybody. I won’t do anything.”

I pulled my futon over my head and also put on my Oniichan Surveillance Tool. It had been a while since I’ve used this thing… I felt a twinge of nostalgia.

This auxiliary tool took advantage of the unphysical nature of the G.o.ds and allowed me to look down on the earth from a G.o.d’s point of view, all so I could see what my brother was doing.

“Even if it kills me, I won’t try hard.”

I turned on the Oniichan Surveillance Tool and felt the scenery around me change.

TRANSLATOR’S NOTES

(1) The famous cave in which Amaterasu hid (thus plunging the world into darkness) before eventually getting lured out by her own reflection.

(2) I’m only footnoting this once per volume. A hikikomori is a shut-in – someone who refuses to come out of their room.

(3) Usagi is the j.a.panese word for “bunny.”

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