A Useless Human Being

Having prepared the bath, I head to the kitchen, too.

What helped me prepare the bath without needing to restore MP halfway through was the effect of having a Wizard, Rutina, in the party; also, the effects of Jobless and the leveled up Great Hero.

It turned out quite well.

“It was easier preparing the bath thanks to Rutina. I’ll count on you from now on.”

“Yes, thank you very much.”

I speak to Rutina in the kitchen.

With five girls inside the kitchen, even a flower may blossom.

It may get a little cramped, though.

Nope, it’s no good, is it?

“I hope I won’t have to trouble Roxanne from now on.”

“It was never a nuisance.”

“I understand. Thank you.”

“Yes.”

I thank Roxanne for everything she has done thus far.

In the kitchen, the course I’ll be making is the dessert.

Because it’s hot, it’ll be good to make a jelly to cool down.

“Vesta, can I ask for your help?”

“Okay.”

“Squeeze this for me.”

I pa.s.s the fruit that I bought.

Vesta squeezes it. After dissolving the gelatin with fruit juice and sugar, I’ll chill it.

Squeezing it is easy thanks to Vesta’s great strength.

It’s better to leave such tasks to her.

“By the way, what’s with such a huge bathtub?”

Rutina, who was helping someone out by chopping the vegetables, speaks.

It’s a continuation of the conversation left off in the bath.

“The bathtub we had in our home was like a barrel; it was long and narrow. It was difficult to boil the water in it. We had to bathe one at a time.”

“Huh, is that so?”

I wonder if it was a drum can bath.

Would it require less quant.i.ty of hot water?

But the capacity wouldn’t change even if it were laid down.

Nope, it would be difficult sleeping inside it.

“E-Excuse me.”

“What?”

“Since it’s so big, does everyone really enter together?”

Rutina asks quietly.

I wonder if she’ll join in together with us.

What should my answer be? I have to give it some thought.

If possible, it would be nice if I answered like it’s a matter of fact.

It’s natural for us to enter together, is there something wrong with it? Something along the lines.

“Of course we do. Is there something wrong with it?”

s.h.i.+t!

I answer her just that.

“R-Really?”

“Master washes our hair.”

Roxanne, nice follow-up.

No, is it really a nice follow-up?

Well, even if she were reluctant about my wiping her body, was.h.i.+ng her hair would be fine.

Because she didn’t say I wash their body, it’s a nice follow-up.

“It’s also a waste of time to separately take a bath.”

Sherry’s follow-up is great, too.

It’d take time If we entered individually.

Truly rational.

“You can understand the feelings of a fish if you enter the bath, desu.”

That’s not a follow-up.

Only you, Miria, would be interested in understanding the feelings of a fish.

Wait, can you really understand the feelings of a fish?

“Lying down in the bathtub with everyone feels comfortable. I think it’s alright.”

It really is comfortable.

For me, especially.

“Is that the way it is?”

Being tricked! She’s being tricked!.

“That’s right.”

“However, I feel like the information is biased.”

She has noticed.

She is being careful not to be deceived at not just the Lords’ a.s.sembly.

The situation requires me to change the topic.

“Vesta, I’ll make ice. Crush it, please.”

“Okay, understood.”

I manifest an [Ice Wall] and have Vesta shave it.

“Rutina, when you’re done with cutting, can you help me out?”

“Ah, yes.”

“Please.”

As for the bath, it’ll be better if everyone enters normally.

I could enter by myself, too; however, there’s no need to go to that extent.

I will enter together with everyone as usual.

It’s normal.

“Is this a kind of Aspic?”

Rutina asks as I submerge a cup of jelly in ice.

Does it look like Aspic?

It’s a gelatin based French cuisine.

I’ve heard the name of the cuisine, but I have never eaten it before.

What’s the side dish then? Tom Yam Kung?

Or ?

I have only eaten Pirozhki Curry Buns.

Even though it wasn’t an authentic one, I have eaten Mapo Tofu, too.

I have also eaten conveyor belt sus.h.i.+……nope, nothing.

My eating habits were poorer than I thought.

“It surely has similar feeling to it.”

Sherry answers in my, who doesn’t know what Aspic tastes like, stead.

Have you eaten it before, Sherry?

“Is this the way it’s made?”

I don’t know as to how Aspic is made. Rutina seems to be interested in it.

I bury the jelly I made in ice.

By the time the dinner is over, it’ll be chilled and ready to eat.

“I wonder what kind of dish is Aspic.”

Asks Vesta.

“I haven’t eaten it either.”

“I have eaten it before. It’s delicious; it leaves a deep flavor in your mouth.”

Rutina sticks her chest out.

I wonder if it’s tastier than a normal broth because it’s a jellied broth.

I think I know the reason for its deep flavor.

“Hee, is that so?”

“Then, does Rutina know how to make it?”

“N-No, I don’t know how to make it.”

Rutina panics.

You fool.

See where boasting got you to.

“I don’t think it’s something impossible to wish for Vesta who has gotten used to eating the dishes here.”

Sherry, who seems to have eaten it before, replies.

“Really?”

Vesta seems to be convinced, too.

Well, just don’t make unreasonable requests.

After waiting till Sherry’s soup was ready, we start the dinner.

The side dish is the stir-fried meat and vegetables, which Roxanne made, while the main course is the whole fish nitsuke made by Miria. (TN: Nitsuke – vegetables or fish simmered in soy sauce)

Everyone surrounds the dining table quietly.

“I am grateful for the toil and tribute of everyone. I receive this with love.”

I cannot get used to Rutina’s prayer before a meal.

However, Rutina’s eating figure looks beautiful.

Especially the whole fish nitsuke. The way she lifts it on the back of the knife and carries it to her mouth is just so beautiful.

She opens her cherry lips slightly, puts the fish in quickly.

The piece on the knife, without making any sound, disappears inside her mouth.

The beautiful girl’s small jaws move up and down, masticating the food.

What a refined movement.

I want to be eaten, too.

I want to go inside that mouth of yours.

I want you to chew me.

“Is something wrong?”

d.a.m.n!

I’ve been staring too much, it seems.

“What do you think about the whole fish nitsuke?”

“Yes, I got to eat something delicious. It’s in no way inferior to the whole fish served by our cook in the past when we invited a special guest.”

“We eat it quite frequently in this house. It’s Miria’s favorite; it’s her specialty.”

“Specialty, desu.”

Was I somehow able to deceive her?

“Frequently……”

“Although I said that, it’s obviously not everyday.”

“Sadly, desu.”

I regret.

If it were everyday, I’d get fed up.

“But I heard it’s a rare ingredient.”

“We enter the labyrinth, after all. We catch it directly from time to time.”

“I see. It must take quite some time then. So, you’re a gourmand, huh? I really have gotten myself under the care of an outstanding person.”

It doesn’t take that much time, really.

It’s all thanks to Cook’s skill and Roxanne’s ability to locate Ma Breams.

If it were only that, I wouldn’t mind the misunderstanding; however, what does she mean by gourmand?

Apparently, Rutina sees me as a person with a strange hobby.

A gourmand on top of a bath enthusiast.

I’m an extremely useless human being.

Who loves to wake up late in the morning to a drink followed by a bath.

Who cannot help but have a beautiful slave girl serving him.

I’m reasonable.

Having had the main course, we partake of the dessert.

I distribute the cups of jelly.

The Jelly hasn’t gotten very cold, but it has solidified properly.

“Then, will everyone be entering the bath after eating?”

There’s no reaction from Rutina.

“That’s right. Everyone will be entering.”

“Y-Yes, I understand.”

Ooh

When Roxanne says ‘everyone’, Rutina agrees to it.

As expected of Roxanne.

She seems to possess an impressive persuasive power.

“Well then.”

We’re finished eating the *puropuro* jiggly dessert.

Would I get to have a *puropuro* jiggly dessert in the bathroom, too?

Will it be *puropuro* jiggly?

“This… can definitely be called a dessert.”

Yes, Mademoiselle.

It’s jiggly.

I’m pretty sure it’s jiggly.

“Yes, we get to eat it every now and then after the dinner.”

Vesta explains to Rutina.

“So, he’s a gourmand, after all……”

That’s some image of me.

After I was finished eating, I head to the bathroom alone.

I so want to see Rutina stripping, but it’d be better if I weren’t present.

I believe in Roxanne and the rest; hence, I leave it to them.

They will surely bring her to the bathroom.

In the bathroom, I take my clothes off ahead of everyone.

While Roxanne and the girls were doing the dishes, I adjust the bath temperature.

Because the temperature of the hot water was about right, the adjustment gets done immediately.

Un

I’m bored.

Should I lather the soap while I wait?

Lathering the soap while I waited, I hear the footsteps outside.

Come!

Come!

They’ve come!

“Excuse us.”

The door opens, and Roxanne enters.

Popping up in front of my eyes are two enormous fruits.

Although it’s different from what I was waiting for, it’s wonderful.

Following behind her are Sherry, Miria and Vesta.

Fruits bigger than even Roxanne’s.

Following behind Vesta comes in Rutina who’s shyly covering her body.

A glossy, white, smooth skin like a white porcelain.

This is Rutina.

This is an elf.

“Y-You said everyone enters together, so I came, too.”

Sadly, Rutina doesn’t mutter ‘so huge’ when she enters the bathroom.

Because she has already seen the bathtub once.

I’ve made a mistake.

It would perhaps have been better had I not let her help me out, had she not seen it before.

“Rutina’s skin is very smooth.”

“Silky, desu.”

“I think it’s smooth.”

“Thank you very much.”

Rutina does seem to have a beautiful skin.

“Is your skin smooth perhaps because you are an elf? Are all the elves the same? Also, your chest seems to be big. We, dwarves, are taught to be wary of elves. It doesn’t seem to be wrong, after all. I hope you perish.”

A certain someone is spitting venom.

So, Rutina does have a big-in-its-own-right chest, after all, huh?

“Umm, that’s because I polish it. I don’t think it’s the same for all the elves. Besides, everyone’s skin is beautiful. Also, Vesta-ane-sama’s chest seems to be much bigger.”

“I heard from Master that the bigger the chest of a Dragon Knight, the more athletic they are.”

“Is that so?”

“It seems to be so. However, aside from Vesta, who has air sacs, mumumu”

What’s with the ‘mumumu’.

I give up.

Disregarding the girl’s talk transpiring between the four behind me, I wash Roxanne’s body.

I have to do it in order.

It’s all thanks to Roxanne that Rutina entered the bath. I cannot neglect this fact.

Rather, I love what’s in front of my eyes.

Outrageous.

I’ll wash it.

I’ll wash it until it perishes.

It must perish.

“Looks good. This much is fine.”

I must polish this divine body every day.

“Thank you very much.”

“Next is Sherry’s turn.”

Holding Sherry’s lovely pet.i.te body and was.h.i.+ng it feels great, too.

“By any chance, do you happen to wash everyone like this?”

“That’s right. Because he’s a kind master.”

Roxanne, who’s still smeared in soap, talks to Rutina.

“But that would be a waste of time.”

“You’re going to receive a body wash from Master. You must accept it with grat.i.tude.”

“Hii, y-yes.”

As expected of Roxanne-sama.

Thereafter, I wash all the nooks and crannies of every member’s body. I thoroughly enjoy Rutina’s skin, too, especially the places which I skillfully left uncovered while applying the soap.

White skin.

White b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

I fully enjoy her.

I enter the bathtub after everyone washes my body.

Cannot help it being cramped with everyone inside.

Actually, no. Being cramped feels rather great.

The contrast between Vesta’s healthy, light brown skin and Rutina’s enchanting, white skin looks beautiful.

“I think it’ll be fine for Rutina to sleep in the bed today.”

Roxanne, whose silky tail I was stroking, says from beside me.

Rutina seems to have heard her.

“You should gratefully sleep in the bed. You must sit up straight and accept it.”

“Y-Yes.”

Roxanne cuts off any possible objection from Rutina.

“Right before sleeping and immediately after waking up, you must greet Master. Missing it isn’t acceptable.”

By ‘greet’, she probably means ‘that’.

Everything will be fine if I leave it to Roxanne.

I won’t end it at just the greeting, of course.

It’ll be s.e.x Maniac’s turn.